most of the occasions when the lovers meet, they land up in fighting with angry words, shouting, furious face, all abuses, some times even to an extent of committing suicide...because...where there are unfulfilled expectations, there will be frustration...where there is frustration there is anxiety, anger marked by physiological changes like high BP, palpitations, emotional tandrums etc...
this happens even between husband and wife...
the expectations or needs or wants may not be obviously visible or understood by the conscious mind...the subconscious mind drives the conscious mind, i.e the organisms to behaviours to get the needs and wants from the other...this scene is universal...
if both of them understand this then they can probably regulate their behaviours...but the problem is when the 'id' need is very high i.e needs of the body, the cognition suffers...so, the organism is directed to fulfill its need by any means...and when there are obstacles, then the body shows all the physiological symptoms accompanied by emotional outbursts...
this is the reason for rapes...if you observe, all rapes where the body need is the motive, driven by the body impulses, then after the rape, the rapist feels bad and realises that he has done a big blunder! (i.e cognition part has started working, which was put to sleep when the id need was high...id needs do not look at shame, status, education, age etc
...but where the rape is to insult a person or caste or religion or race or a group or a society, then the rapist does not feel sorry and he feels what he has done is right because it is planned and executed after a cognition!
so, lovers and couple need to
1. reduce id drives by meditation, balanced diet, yoga, positive thinking (this includes empathy also)
2. increase the 'ego' (this is not that 'ego' you have in your mind) and 'super ego' components
then no shouting, no fighting, no BP up, No breakage of items at home, no suicides, no 'breaks up's in love
rams-psychologist and sociologist
this happens even between husband and wife...
the expectations or needs or wants may not be obviously visible or understood by the conscious mind...the subconscious mind drives the conscious mind, i.e the organisms to behaviours to get the needs and wants from the other...this scene is universal...
if both of them understand this then they can probably regulate their behaviours...but the problem is when the 'id' need is very high i.e needs of the body, the cognition suffers...so, the organism is directed to fulfill its need by any means...and when there are obstacles, then the body shows all the physiological symptoms accompanied by emotional outbursts...
this is the reason for rapes...if you observe, all rapes where the body need is the motive, driven by the body impulses, then after the rape, the rapist feels bad and realises that he has done a big blunder! (i.e cognition part has started working, which was put to sleep when the id need was high...id needs do not look at shame, status, education, age etc
...but where the rape is to insult a person or caste or religion or race or a group or a society, then the rapist does not feel sorry and he feels what he has done is right because it is planned and executed after a cognition!
so, lovers and couple need to
1. reduce id drives by meditation, balanced diet, yoga, positive thinking (this includes empathy also)
2. increase the 'ego' (this is not that 'ego' you have in your mind) and 'super ego' components
then no shouting, no fighting, no BP up, No breakage of items at home, no suicides, no 'breaks up's in love
rams-psychologist and sociologist
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