Sunday, 1 December 2013

what is possessiveness?

Possessiveness.

The most dangerous virus or bacteria or the poison inside us. It is deadlier than HIV or Hepatitis B. We don’t realise this. Because we don’t know how it entered us, how it captured us, how it is spoiling our happiness, peace, progress and success. It enters without our knowledge.

It comes naturally. Nature has given us few things so that we don’t exist here permanently and lea...
ve the place for the new life.

We get possessive with people, places, property, wealth, money, items, language, religion, caste, race...in short everything we like, everything that gives us the basics like food, shelter, clothing, air, sex, love and affection, high self esteem, self actualisation, emotional, physical, social, financial support and security.

We cannot live alone on this earth. We need people, places, items and all listed above for happy, peaceful and successful living. So, consciously or unconsciously we are in search for sources of all these. When we get a good, adaptable, suitable resource of any of these we cling on to them and start feeling ‘this is mine! I cannot give it or share it with some one!’.

Whereas the truth is ‘nothing belongs to anyone and everything belongs to everyone’. We need to reach this state. Otherwise we cannot be happy, healthy and self actualised.

If you look at this statement, instantly you might feel that ‘you are losing something which is part of you’. This is only the first part of the statement. The second part says that ‘everything and everyone is yours’. This makes you to feel rich and abundant with everything in the world and everything in life, provided we understand this and follow too.
For e.g our people at home get attached with only few handful at home or relatives/ neighbour group. They live a life of ‘they are my world. They can’t leave me. I can’t leave them. I cannot share them with others. I don’t like them spending more time with others, sharing emotions with others. They have to be available to me the way i want, to the level i want’. They don’t think whether they can be available to others the way others expect them to be. Truly, it is not possible for anyone to be like that and no one can be happy in this suffocating, caged, slavery environment.

The truth is or why feel uncomfortable, unhappy or sick or suffocating is because ‘we are born to be free, socialise without boundaries, have variety in personalities, behaviours, emotions, intellectual knowledge, wisdom, experiences, skills, experience etc.

This sort of limiting to few people, limiting to one language, limiting our socialisation to only a cultural group or race makes us feel living inside a small hole, covered with a thick shell, suffocated, rigid, get wrong and strong mental structures, not flexible, not growing, not open, closed minds, closed perceptions, closed attitudes, does not allow us to change with changes around us in the world, does not allow us to be with the wind and trend and become successful, make us ‘obsolete’, make us ‘walking coffins’, isolate us from others, makes us to feel ‘i am right and all others are wrong’, ‘this is what is right, this is the way to do, he or she is the only best and right person’, ‘there cannot be a better thing than this, no one can be better than him or her’, not making us updated, some new things might be interesting to us but our mental structures will tell us ‘no! You are so and so, belong to this religion, this caste, this country, you are supposed to be like this, follow this, you are deviating, you are doing wrong, no, don’t do it!’...this type of sub conscious conflicts will stress our mind and body with or without our knowledge, make us restless and affect our peace.
If you observe, most of the people around us live this type of ‘possessive’ life. They don’t know that all the problems they have are due to this deadly virus. Many are addicted to this virus and don’t want to change also. We think smoking, drinking, drugs are only bad for health and call those who use these as bad people. But those who have ‘possessiveness’ virus are the most sick people, bad people, not worthy to live in social environment etc.

Language is just a tool for communication. Many languages are spoken by people all over our country and world. So, more languages we know, that much better for us to interact with more people for business or social interactions. As all organisations are going multinational, job opportunities are global, it is better we know more languages. Whereas, there are enough people who talk emotionally about ‘my language, our language’, stimulate or instigate people to emotionally get attached to a language, make them hate other languages, dislike people who speak other languages etc. This only will lead to disharmony, wars, conflicts, hatred, destruction, unhappiness and being unsuccessful. This is just one example of how our life will be if we get emotionally attached with a language. If life will be so horrible due to emotional attachment with one thing, i.e language, you can imagine how our life will be if we get more emotional attachments with people, places and the big list i typed above. These are like ropes and chains. The more the number of chains on our body, the more miserable will be life.

So, let us come out of possessiveness. Not just one person, not just one place, not just one language, not just one religion, not just one cast belongs to us. Every person, every place, every language, every religion...in short the whole world belongs to us!

So, if your lover says ‘i don’t love you’, just fuck it! Don’t feel rejected and dejected. The whole world is full of girls and boys. They are there to love you. You have billions of lovers, may be better than her or him. If you feel ‘No! She (or he) is the ultimate and no one can be better!’ then you are not only affected with ‘possessiveness’ virus but also with ‘obsession’ disorder. You need psychological treatment.

Simple thing is change of place, change of people around, change of things in front. E.g punnagai mannan, tamil movie. Your lover is not just the ultimate, ‘all positive, laughing and jingling people, radiating happiness, peace, fun, cool’ are the ultimate and there are billions on this earth!.

So, let us break all these possessive, obsessive and emotional shackles we have around us. Let us free ourselves. Let us un weld our skull. Let us open our head and allow it to breathe the whole world. Let us keep ourselves in pace with the world, in pace with the changes everywhere.
You will feel a new big world, so beautiful, so many things to learn, enjoy and be with.

Yes...EVERY ONE AND EVERY THING BELONGS TO US...NOT JUST ONE OR FEW THAT YOU HAVE NOW.

a comment received is below...

Even though possessive people may 'look' and 'feel' like they are very loving, actually too much possessiveness is extremely toxic. When your partner or anyone close to you gets too possessive, then life becomes a living hell. It is better to stay away from people who are too possessive to the point of suffocating you. Such possessiveness will lead to 'control' which contradicts with our in born nature to be free. Such possessive people will slowly start controlling your each and every move taking away your freedom, happiness, growth, development and all good things in life including your sanity eventually. Whereas truth is we are all a part of one global family sharing the air we breathe and other precious resources that keep us alive.

rams

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