the most important things to be discussed and followed before and after marriage....

Dear all...today's piece about RELATIONSHIPS...

1. Being a lover is great different from being a husband/wife. Being a husband/wife is great different from being a father/mother, and that too at different stages of life of their own and that of children.

2. So, if you are attracted to a person and the other person also feels attracted towards you then ask whether that person is interested in a. marriage b. living a family life 'together' or as suitable to both (today both of them work. So, there are more chances of living separately while being married for a short time or long time or many times in life time!) c. working and pursuing passion is acceptable d. discuss it out regarding doing all the chores at home and taking on the responsibilities of family, relatives, social functions, customs and traditions, rituals and ceremonies e. producing children, how many, when, periodicity, rearing (feeding, educating, teaching, nursing, etc etc)...like this all the duties and responsibilities also need to be discussed out and mutual acceptance should be arrived at...if these things are not there then the initial love will vapourise in no time!!

3. many might agree before marriage but may not be adhering to their commitments later. But this can be found out during the initial days of friendship before marriage, if he/she is really interested in family life and is reared and interested to take up all the responsibilities related to this by observing his/her way of living at his/her own home or while living separately.

4. when both spouses are working away at two different places, may be far off too, then rearing of children becomes the responsibility of one alone. If there is a help from the parents or in-laws then fine, but then they also should do happily and not with frustration, garnering hatred between each other.

5. when both are separated physically then frustration, anger, sadness is possible as one person shoulders all the responsibilities and even starts doubting the love of the other person to both. Therefore, a great understanding and orientation of the life situation is important. In many cases the spouses shout, fight, throw words over phone, chats etc, which can not be taken back, creates a mental breakage, such issues spread to parents and in-laws too, they also exchange hot emotions and words and finally the marriage breaks. This could have been solved if they lived together meeting each other's needs or understood that their life is different from that of their parents!!

6. Living together for some time till they understand, adapt, love each other and pitch their love beyond the needs and expectations is a must before they produce off-springs or start working from two different places. Otherwise there will be far too many issues in everything related to marriage and family living and can not be solved unless they are highly matured (nirvana state) with high EQ and SQ.

ok..this is enough for the day...will see rest tomorrow....

peacefully yours....rams