Dear all...nice to hear that many college students read my posts...they also discuss amongst their groups...it is nice to know that even the professors discuss the posts in the classrooms!!...Thank you all!!
I am reminded by some one that last three days nothing about RELATIONSHIPS...though all the posts were about relationships but they were not about the theories...hihihi...
None of these i type here are in any book...they are all out of my learning...
so here we go with today's bit on RELATIONSHIPS...
All relationships, whether natural or man made, are formed out of need.
Even if we say 'heart says and not brain need', it is some form of need of the body or heart or brain or mind or soul!!
Even a devotee relationship is out of need, but it is beyond expectations. That is all is the difference.
The needs generally fall within my favourite five words of life…peace, health, happiness, contentment and self-actualization.
The needs change with time, ageing and our life position. Therefore, our relationship with people also changes though the social relationship as per laid down procedures remain on paper. The true personal relationship between the two people keeps changing as the needs change, as we age, mature and evolve, which can be felt only by those two people concerned. As the need changes are subconscious, automatic, the conscious mind is not aware of instantly. Only when it analyses, observes, researches, it can make out that the needs have changed and so is the relationship. So, there is no point in blaming the person that he or she has changed. It is natural and every human being changes. It is not in their control.
Relationships are multistranded with some people as we perceive multiple relationships with one person, because our needs are also multiple from such people. So, as time passes and needs change, some fibres of the relationship gets strengthened and some strands get weakened. Some bonds dissolve and some bonds originate.
When the relationship is based on one or two needs, which are not basic needs of life and living, the need vanishes after some time and at the same time the relationship also vanishes!!...It might remain on paper if it is a default social relationship.
When a person perceives a source to be incapable of meeting the needs, then also the relationship vanishes, may be only the social relationship on paper, as per social rules will remain.
Needs vary in their depth, variety, intensity, quantity and quality from time to time.
when coping skills or people or relationships are not there, changes in life style that result in voluntary increase in needs or urges will only result in devastation of all those five words!!
Though such theories can be written volumes and volumes it is enough for the day…more later…
If we know these theories then peace prevails, our social relationships and therefore social health will be good, we will not miss and lose people and relationships with them, and our understanding of people and relationships will always be good!!
more volumes will follow...
peacefully yours....rams...
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