One Question and One answer.......................................
Qn. “sir, I keep reading in whatsapp memes that ‘life is a combination of sorrows and happiness (a mix of ‘inbam’ and ‘thunbam’)’ is it true?...Why some people suffer more and some suffer less?...Is there any way to avoid suffering?”
I feel that everyone’s destiny is different. But society draws the same line of destiny for everyone – take birth, play, grow, go to school and college, learn something, get some job, get married, produce children, rear them, send them to school/college, let them get a job, get them married, play with grandchildren, get aged, die.
This undermines one’s talents and misses out whatever one can do to get unlimited knowledge, wisdom, skills, potential, capabilities, and with that whatever they can do to get wealth, achievements, fame, power, authority, love and affection, self-esteem, contentment, fulfillment, self-actualization, self-transcendence etc.
Therefore, society’s concept is wrong, primitive, not suitable for the present world of global opportunities.
In the past patriarchal society ruled by men to get their pleasures with autocratic, dictatorial, imperious, rigid, strict, totalitarian, tyrannical family and social structure the women were repeatedly told they are weak, they have to be servants of home and men, irrespective of whether they are working or not, and they were pushed in to ‘learned helplessness’ psychological state due to multilayer rules, regulations, securities, nicknames, stigmas, etc.
So, someone is a born singer, or dancer, or social thinker, or global sports personality, or a politician, or a lawyer, or an engineer, or a doctor, or a social activist, or a spiritual guru, or a corporate leader, or an architect, or a painter, or an artist, or a scientist, or a military leader etc etc.
All these depend upon the personality traits of the individuals and all the above shape, change, and fine-tune the personalities of individuals depending upon their life experiences and the resultant lessons of learning.
Now all these people will have different kind of marriage and family life suiting to their profession. When profession, passion, goals, and dreams do not align with the kind of marriage or life partner or lifestyle or family life, then things will fail miserably.
No wonder the traditional parents are making the marriages of their children to fail without understanding the above, and they blame the youngsters saying they don’t know what life is or how to live or how to live a married life, while quoting the slavery life the ancestors lived.
Therefore, I feel that: -
1. Destiny of every individual is different.
2. Destiny is predetermined. Everyone’s destiny is good with some conditions.
3. Destiny has both positives and negatives.
4. Morals, values, ethics, human nature, godly qualities are fulcrum of life which form the conditions to decide the destiny to be positive or negative.
5. If we are good, and if we do good, then cues appear infront to indicate our positive path of destiny where when we put in hard work, we reap success. We work hard to learn the lessons of life, to understand the purpose and meaning of life, we enjoy this life path, that wisdom gained, we feel happiness in this process of understanding, we feel elated, enlightened, blessed, we radiate love, we glow with peace, we shine with positivity and attraction, and we live a meaningful life of high quality and standards.
6. If we do not have (4) above, then we automatically and naturally miss out and neglect the positive cues of life, and choose the negative cues of destiny, face failures in all our attempts, live a life on thorns, sorrows, etc and suffer, blame others, blame destiny, blame the god.
7. If we have (4) above and adamantly choose the negatives then cues for negative part of destiny and paths of negativity make us to suffer, make us learn lessons of life in a hard way with sufferings and losses of physical well-being, mental well-being, social well-being, career, family life, etc. But the cues for positive destiny will keep appearing repeatedly in front, to make you choose the correct path, because of the (4) above. Whenever we choose, the positives, and change the path, then the destiny changes, positives start happening, success starts becoming way of life, then we start enjoying the life.
8. Some seek the assistance of astrologers to find out their destiny and some are able to predict the past and future correctly with some decent percentage of correctness. May be one can consult few best astrologers and take the common views of all of them and keep them as reference to match with their life cues and check out.
9. Therefore, “life is a combination of sorrows and happiness (a mix of ‘inbam’ and ‘thunbam’)” is wrong. This is a philosophy written by someone with (6) or (7). Those with (5) will face only happiness, success, contentment, fulfillment and live a meaningful life.
10. Arguing with statements like ‘will you not feel sad due to death of loved ones, pains due to diseases etc’ is meaningless, as a person of (5) will understand the natural processes of life with birth and death, ailments of aging etc and their wisdom will make them accept these natural processes, gain power and resilience to come out of the grief fast and live a normal life.
11. The point I am making is that destiny and life of every individual is different, career and life path of every individual is different, the passion, goals, dreams, potential, capabilities, talents, what they can do, what they cannot do are different, the married or unmarried part of life of everyone is different, all these are to be aligned with each other to support each other, and we should follow the morals, values, and ethics in life to add more positive karma to choose the cues of positive destiny - life path, to reap success in all our efforts and attempts. The natural processes of life like death, ailments due to aging, etc are common for all and not different.
Peacefully yours....rams....The Psychologist!...
https://www.linkedin.com/in/mramasubramanian1/
