'Sir, i don't want to get married because i am scared of people dumping me!'

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL STUDENTS AND OF COURSE, FOR PARENTS TOO...

Normally when people express their issues i just share the information. But this time i thought i will share the exact words of the person, with her approval, so that the seriousness and the impact is felt by the students and parents!!

In the above pic we can see how a girl is frustrated about relationships, marriage and in general about the traditional family life etc. One side the boys have destroyed her brain and mind and ruined her self concept, future life, feminity and her image about men!! On the other side the parents who are unaware about the mental state of their child are pressurising her for marriage (may be because of the compulsion of the marriage brokers and other people with vested interest in their community and relatives' circles and the nearby 'tv serial characters' type people around!!)

For all those boys reading this, such a situation can happen to your sisters too, and your future daughters too!!

Parents and boys having sisters need not get angry reading the above!!...It is a point to think. I don't know how many girls are like this in our cities, states and in the country. May be entire world too. It is time to sit and think!!

There may be many boys also who feel like the same!!

So, we have many boys and girls who want emotional relationship. But they are not ready to have one more, because of the failures they have experienced in their life!

Many parents also complain that their children are not interested in marriage and they give lame excuses. Many children decide not to have marriage for the fear of failure again. Many do not reveal as to what happened in their life to their parents because of fear, as these are too personal issues.

Parents think they know everything about their children, but sadly not!!...Children of these days are too smart and capable of hiding a 'universe of their personal and private life' a secret and unknown to their parents!!....

Parents are not good confidants for them. They can not listen to their children without any judgement and negative reaction. So, they fear telling the parents. The children are not able to discuss all these in detail with their friends too.

If parents can't listen patiently and support them, who else on earth can support?...Children feel lonely and commit suicide only when they feel that their parents don't listen to their issues, do not trust them, do not believe them, do not support them, do not help to solve their problems, issues and help to become strong and self confident.

Children should never feel that there is no one on this earth to support them or no one is there to whom they can discuss their issues of too private and personal in nature, and seek solutions.So, they die inside.

Love failure or break-up in relationships is a traumatic event in life which certainly affects the mental development and mental health of an adolescent/adult. Many avoid meeting their parents not to show their depressed face leading to suspicion by parents and to avoid their torture of marriage proposals. It takes lots of time to heal depending upon how emotionally deep was the relationship and how much was the damage in the brain. Of course, they come back to normal life with the new learning about life, resilience and belief systems!!


Many parents also think that if they are forced and married off, the wounds due to the break-up will heal with the new committed relationship, satiation of the needs, availability of an emotional relationship with a shoulder to heal the wounds and counselling by parents and others. They think that the children can see a new ray of hope in the horizon and oppurtunity of making a new family and happy home. Yes, possibility exists, provided the new guy is matured, a good companion and friend, a good human being with less needs, wants and expectations from her and a healer. So, probability is 50:50.


All parents blame only the present culture and the children. Sadly both are created by the parents and every one on this earth is either a parent or child or both. Blaming others or external factors does not help in anyway in protecting the children from such damages!!

Only solution is good parenting. Being responsible. Finding time, emotions and energy to teach, train and make them independent in all dimentions from 18 months of age onwards. Understanding that parenting is not an outlet of the emotions of parents, pampering, not a fun only or time pass or 'they will grow and become responsible on their own by default!'.

Children do not learn from preaching, but through observation of what parents do and the issues which they make the children to think about i.e children learn through observation and thinking and with these their brain makes their value systems, beliefs and life styles which become the basis of their future life!...

So, parents have no choice other than following a healthy life style of healthy cooking/eating, yoga, meditation, group family games in park and sports ground, picking up their studies for retaining their jobs and to be role models for their children.

Girl children are attached to their father and they follow him as their role model. Boys are attached to their mother and they pick up all the value systems and life styles from the mother. Of course, both parents heavily influence the value systems and life styles of their children.

Many parents blame that the society, culture and other children spoil their children. For every child, parents become the Gurus, Mentors, Guides and everything at least till the age of 12. Parents should be their best friends on earth with whom they can comfortably discuss anything under the sky without any discomfort and hesitation. If the parents follow the vedic life style at home as described above, it is unlikely that the children will get spoiled through the factors outside the home!

So, parents make up the life of their children, the culture and the future world!!

Every parent is a teacher by his/her deeds and every teacher is a parent!

So, our parents need to improve. Instead of shouting, controlling and threatening, they can be kind and patient, encouraging and supporting and use negative methods only momentarily to bring in the course correction i.e the desired change, in case positive methods do not help to bring in the change in behaviours. Once the children change, then they should use only positive methods of grooming and mentoring.

Many parents think 'I suffered a lot during my childhood. Let my children enjoy!'. This is not good parenting. Acquring of life skills, learning by experience, resilience, self confidence, ability to become independent and employable anywhere on earth happens only when the children are exposed to challenges under supervision and guidance.

So parents, let us change!!

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!

Lock down is creating a hell for the lovers!!

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL LOVERS...

Lock-down has created the toughest times and hell for the lovers. They are not able to meet. They are not able to talk to each other in-front of parents. As almost all the loves all over the world are driven by nature for procreation, they are shouting against each other in messages due to unfulfilled needs, desires, wants, expectations and the frustration, anger and sadness which comes as a result.  The end result is break-up!!...Because the words spelt against the other person ...words of suspect...words that insult the person and family members...all these finally strains and breaks the relationship.

So, please engage in healthy life styles so that the needs from the other person is less and manageable...and you don't land up in loosing your person!!

You have only a body and a mind which only have the needs and wants. Keep both of them safe!!

Cold water baths, eating boiled vegetable food, no oil, no fried stuff, no junk food, yoga, meditation, engage in studies or any other activity which requires lots of professional thinking...like this there are many!!

All the best!!

Peacefully  yours...Rams...Psychologist!!

Sir, you oldies have enjoyed the life and telling us youngsters…Control…Control…Control…Is it fair?

Dear all…THIS IS FOR STUDENTS….

One question….One answer…

Qn. Sir, you oldies have enjoyed the life and telling us  youngsters…Control…Control…Control…Is it fair?

Ans: As population increases, resources will only become scarce, we will have to pay for everything in a capitalist economy, and the prices will only go up. So, cost of living every single day on this earth will only become dearer day by day. So, no one can live the way our parents or grandparents have lived. Every boy has to earn for him and his family by 20 years of age. With the financial burden increasing due to high prices and costly education of children, every boy will marry only a working girl, and so, girls also have to get their job to get married in a marriage centric culture here. Therefore, one cannot depend on parental or ancestral property income for day to day living. Society respects only those who earn their living by themselves through decent and respectable job. Girls also marry such boys only. One cannot live away from society if he is dependent on others’ income for him and his family. We get feeling of acceptance, the very basic need for good mental health, from people around us…i.e family, relatives and society.  In the absence of feeling of acceptance, we will get only feeling of rejection leading to depression, addictive behaviours, personality disorders and other such mental health issues. You should feel ashamed if you cannot make yourself employable after 20 years of education!!...Therefore, you have to get a job when you finish your college study at 20 or 21.

            As population increases, competition will only increase for everything. So, one needs to be competitive in schools, colleges and in jobs. So, you need more time to study and improve the employability skills, to be different and one-up than others. If you spend your precious time running behind pleasures then how can you study well and get a job to earn your living?...film heroes earn crores to run behind females in movies!!...Do you get?

            All the achievers on earth have handled their body needs in a way they can find more time for knowledge and skill development and kept their body and mind stress free to focus on their goals. All those who spent their school and college time on pleasures, and did not improve their employability have been suffering for entire life.  Look at the lives of who fell in love, got married and produced children before becoming employable, especially those without parental support for money. Money is not everything but it is almost everything. If you have to become winner, you have to first win your body!

            Animals can live with multiple partners because they don’t have mind and so the element of peace is not there. We have mind, a complex mind, which needs to be peaceful for good mental health. It can’t be peaceful with multiple partners due to its possessiveness. It becomes weak with multiple partners. So, emotional weakness leads to cascading troubles in life. So, all such people will have no peace and their body will get diseases due to unhealthy life style and mental disorders due to unnatural living, because humans have sixth sense, unlike animals, which they are supposed to use to surmount all these issues of their body and mind.

            Control means resisting after creating the arousal, urges and cravings for solids, liquids, gases and other body needs. This is a stressful situation. So, regulating the body desires through healthy life style is the solution.

            If you want to be an achiever and a global student, employee or researcher then you can’t be slave of your body, and have to win over your body and its pleasure needs to win in life!

            Your parents, your teachers and the prospective family girls, all expect the same from you…You need to be employable and get a job when you leave the college!!

            So, choice is yours!!...You want to live like a human being with chest up and chin up for entire life or die every moment with shame by being dependent on others!!

            You decide!!

Peacefully yours…Rams…Psychologist!!

THIS IS FOR STUDENTS...

Dear all...THIS IS FOR STUDENTS...

     The major effect of the COVID-19 will be economy. The global economy and the Indian economy will get affected considerably. The demand in the job market will get affected. Also, organisations will rethink about the number of employees at various levels and might reduce the numbers. Therefore, we need to be proactive and do the following:-

  (a) If we are already employed, then we need to work dedicated to a level that the organisation feels we are the most important resource and cannot be removed. Change of job at this juncture is too risky. It takes considerable time for the economy to stabilise when it gets affected globally.

  (b) If we are still studying at the beginning or middle of a course, then we need to pull up, focus and do hard work on acquiring the knowledge, employability skills and higher competency levels in these, to a level that we are different, we are able to outperform others in the interview and the organisation feels we are the best and to be recruited without any choice or doubt. Added qualifications with generic courses or specific knowedge or skill sets relatated courses, global certifications, foreign language skills, patents, paper publications in peer reviewed journals, projects, internships, experience in generic jobs or specifica skills sets etc will help you to get identified differently in a crowd and make your job prospects better.

   (c) If we are in the final year, then we have one more year during which time you have to do the above quickly.

   (d) Those who have already passed out this month and not got job need to do the above quickly or else look at higher education option to avoid waste of time.

   (e) Decide corporate or govt or public sector...if higher studies, then course, subject, whether India or abroad etc.... much earlier and prepare well. The demand for people in all markets will get affected because of COVID-19. So, we need to be proactive.

  (f) Follow a multi-pronged approach so that you do not fall down and get some job or course or occupation to meet your means and ends and don't sit idle at home. If you are a boy it is all the more important in our culture to get employed somewhere, as boys are supposed to work and not sit at home, and whereas, girls can easily bail out and get engaged and remain engaged in life through marriage, family etc during such hard times and look at career later after a gap. Of course, girls who have career as their priority will surely shine and get their dream job.

  (g) If you have restrictions, please consider throwing them away. Keep an open policy of anywhere, any-job etc so that you don't curtail your oppurtunities. Or accordingly become too strong in employability in the industry or sector you are looking at.

  (h) Most of the jobs have the requirement of certain common knowledge and skill sets. Each job will need certain specific knowledge and skill sets too. So, we need to prepare accordingly.

   (i) Outstanding written and oral English communications skills is the basic to be employable and it comes by speaking and writing more in a day with the person with whom you communicate more in a day!...Use your love and lover effectively for acquiring this skill...at least some use will be there in life out of this relationship to feel thankful at the end!!

In short, just wake-up and jump out before you fall down!!

peacefully yours.....Rams!!

"What you need is Love!"

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...ESPECIALLY STUDENTS...I happened to read a  status share in whatsapp saying,

"What you need is Love!"

I feel, it should be "What you need to have in you is Love!" or "What you need to be is Love"

This only means 'Be a resource of unconditional love!'. But be a source of unconditional love only to those who are also resources of unconditional love. Not to parasites, obsession cases and other personality disorder cases who are conditional, demanding, controlling, suspecting and inhuman. There are far too many in the society today, married and unmarried, husbands and lovers, who are excellent bosses, or peers or subordinates or friends or whatever relationship they can strike with, but when it comes to emotional relationship or life long bonding, i find they are only conditional which can lead to loss of peace and other domains of health. So, you land up in a situation of 'going to someone for something, in marriage or out of marriage, and losing everything in the process...mental, physical and social well-being, job, self respect, self confidence, social status and finally life on earth!!'.

Also, i find many trying to attract others through 'physical appearance' which does not last long. In fact, it can be lost in just few days or in a moment also. Also, people only develop crush for physical appearance that crush does not last long and can not lead to peaceful and life long committed relationships. Try to attract by your personality traits, human qualities, by being what you are and who you are, which will remain for life and attract people for life long and committed relationships. A human being can fall for a crush or live without a crush, but can't live without the motherly love from another human being or living organisms. Reality is better than perceived or fantasies in this case.

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!

'Sir, i keep reading humans are bad. Animals and plants are best. What is the truth sir?'

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...

Qn: 'Sir, i keep reading humans are bad. Animals and plants are best. What is the truth sir?'

Ans: Nature's creation of Humanbeing is the holiest and beautiful creation beyond doubts. Sixthsense is the fantastic creation and the best of the evolutions so far. So, when we refer to Humanbeing, we truly refer to the 'VISUAL FORM OF SIXTH SENSE'!!...The visual form of god on earth!!

It comes to use only when the remaining five senses do their positive true job of supporting the sixth sense. But when these five senses support the devil and greed needs of pleasures of the body, and not the genuine survival needs of the body, then sixth sense gets burried, and we become real devils. This form of humanbeing only is bad. This only makes him to commit those acts which are visualised as crimes. There are many crimes which go unnoticed and not covered under the legal ambit. When the five senses truly do the human act, then sixth sense surfaces, and when sixth sense rules, there is no way that he can commit anything bad. He becomes the best creation on earth, the human form of god on earth. 

Animals do not have greed in pleasures. They only have the survival need. So, they are next best moving creations. The ultimate non moving creation is the plant life. 

So, therefore, all the creations on earth are divine in true sense. 

Solids, gases and liquids which go inside the body mostly decides the needs of the body. So, if these are kept right then mostly body is disease free. By practicing healthy positive life style in all other domains too, we can keep the body out of the devil needs. By following true, healthy, positive mental constructs regarding life and living, we can keep the thoughts, emotions and resultant behaviours on track. If these are done, then we can dwell in the sixth sense for more times in our lives. When we dwell in sixth sense, then we become the real humanbeing and god on earth during those moments. 

So, the crux is.....

1. Human beings are the best ever creations on earth. Sixthsense is the ultimate form of evolution so far. 

2. We need to keep the body right with proper life style to keep the remaining five senses support the sixth sense, and not the devil needs of the body.

3. Animals and plants are the next best creations and all the creations on earth are divine.

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!

"Do animals and other living beings pray God like what all we ask and beg!! Not at all!!"

Dear all...i keep receiving many positive and negative criticisms, lots of questions, lots of value additions from  many...

When people agree to what is written, then they appreciate us. When it does not match with their beliefs, faiths or life experiences or learnt lessons they negatively criticize. It only shows that they need to evolve more to come out of their mental constructs and making judgements out of those. And we also need to be with open mind to accept anything as input, suggestion, opinion for the study of human behaviour. After all, every human being is different, environs like climate and culture are different, life challenges faced by them and the lessons learnt are different...that is why they are unique and everyone needs to be analysed differently.

An interesting observation from a reader regarding the y'day's Story of a Peepal Tree is below...

"Yes sir. We are smaller/lesser than any other living being around. Only waste living being created by God is we Humans!!...We are created to disturb others' peace!!

Organs and other parts of humanbody can help other human lives. Not any other living being on earth lives for it's own well-being. Only by our death, we can let other living beings on earth to live and that too when are buried. By burning the bodies, we only pollute.

The life or the body parts of other living beings can be used in medicines and their body can be used by other animals to eat and survive.

So we humans are filthiest, dirtiest, nasty, useless and fit for nothing living creatures in this world created by so called GOD. GOD's success story is in creation of other living creatures and GOD's other side is a failure, that is We!!

Do animals and other living beings pray God like what all we ask and beg!! Not at all!!

They love, live and die!! We don’t love, don’t live, don't let other humans and other living organisms live, and finally die useless to anyone!!

Whatever we do, even other living beings can do, what is that one difference which other living beings can’t do is walk on two legs and use our hands that's all!!

So marriage,  education, sex, babies, achievements and awards and money... all these we created to bring in difference between we humans in what we have and do!!

Live untill we die. That's all. In this gap we destroy and disturb the peace of other living beings and life around us!!'




Yes. I agree with the above. So, there is a need to redefine the life we live so that our single oppurtunity to live here is not wasted and becomes meaningful. All the trillions and trillions of organisms on this earth do not have religions, way of life, way of living, gods, prayers, languages and all the human created mess. They just live WITH NATURE. We have evolved from them. This body is similar to theirs with respect to needs and wants. But the mind this body creates to satiate it's needs is the devil which makes him to do all that described above. So, the need is to focus on the body to keep it calm, cool and divine. It is better not to use name of any religion or existing scriptures like Vedhas etc as debates and arguments start then!!...Body is the animal part and sixth sense of the mind is the human part. But the body devil hardly allows the brain to dwell in the sixth sense part of the mind, but drives the brain to create thoughts, emotions and behaviours of devils for satiation of the needs of the Devil-Body!!...So, define your own life and living to avoid the happening of above and live the life as per your terms. Only question we have to ask to ourselves before we follow our terms of life is 'Will this give me good health to my body, mind, relationships forever and keep the earth livable for eternity?'. If the answer is YES, then you are right to yourself and live your life!!...If useful to others, they will observe and follow with modifications wherever required to suit their environs or habitat.

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!

'I may be an orphan...but one day i will become a History!!'

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...ESPECIALLY TO STUDENTS...

Yesterday, during morning walks, i spoke to this road side Peepal Tree plant. It spoke it's heart out...it said

"Thank you sir for sparing few minutes for this abandoned road side orphan plant...that's me!!...My birth may be out of a shit of a bird. Fine. I came out of a tiny seed that was eaten by a crow. I don't know who my mother is. Where my mother is. It is immaterial to me. I germinated on my own. I put my first tender root inside this earth on my own. I searched for wetness. I searched for that one drop of water for my survival as a unborn baby.

Today i am up and outside to breath the air. Face the sunlight. I make my own food. I live on my own. I don't look for any one's help. I don't lean on anyone. I may be a roadside insignificant small plant today. But one day i will become a history here. I will slowly grow my trunk to several feet and metres. I will send thousands of roots to several metres wide and far deep inside the earth. I will create hundreds of branches. I will give shelter to thousand of birds. I will produce millions of seeds and send to all over this country to produce many of my children. Many humans will rest under me. Children will play under me. I will purify millions of tons of air for humans to breath. I will bring rains and rains forever on this earth. I will grow so big, with my roots even from the branches falling on this earth and going deep and deep inside, that no human can ever destroy me.

Even if you uproot me, i will come out in the form of thousands of plants from tons of roots that you can't remove from the earth. I will not cry to anyone for my food. I am not dependent on anyone. I don't have a powerful brain like you. But i have my WILL POWER... PERSEVERENCE... RESILIENCE...SELF CONFIDENCE...POSITIVE SELF CONCEPT...to remain tall and strong. I will not cry and commit suicide like you humans!!...I will not become a parasite, lazy bumb like you all!!

I am thankful to god that i don't have such a powerful brain and mind like you all. I don't have sixth sense. I don't have five senses like other evolved animals. I have only one sense. But i will use it well!!...I will withstand all the weather. No tsunami or storm or tornado can make me fall. All trees nearby can fall on me. I will support them all. I don't need doctors and hospitals. I can look after myself and heal others. I don't need schools and colleges to learn. I will make myself a University for others to learn from my life!! I will look after everyone who comes under my shade.

Yes, today i may be small, abandoned, weak, orphaned, insignificant plant, but i will silently, slowly and steadily grow in a way that no one notices, and one day i will make and become a history!!

Are we anyway less than this Peepal Tree??

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!

'Sir, my lover cheated me and suddenly went out of the relationship, and married some one else!...I want him to die tragically!'

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...

Qn: 'Sir, my lover cheated me and suddenly went out of the relationship, and married someone else!...I want him to die tragically!...I want to do something to him!'

Ans: Cheating is only our perception. There is nothing known as cheating. Because

"EVERY ONE CREATES HIS OR HER OWN DESTINY"

Some say our destiny comes with us when we are born. It is already pre decided. Whatever our ancestors did will also have effect on our destiny. This may be right or wrong. It is debatable and no one either prove or disprove. But certainly this belief will put us lazy and not trying for best things in life.

But the above philosophy, "EVERY ONE CREATES HIS OR HER OWN DESTINY", helps us to be hardworking, to be good human beings, to be ethical, legal, to be focussed on doing good for self, others and the environment. In most cases it is seen becoming true also.

Doing any harm or negative or bad to the other person will only affect our future life, as either he or she will harm us back or we might end up in a crime and get punished legally. It is a waste of time and energy. Waste of a significant part of useful life time of this small life.

Instead, if we learn the lesson of life out of it and move ahead with something positive in life then we will improve, bring happiness and peace in our life.

The other person will be looked after by his/her own deeds. We will or will not come to know their suffering. We will not be able to quantify and identify their suffering that is relevant to the misdeed they did to us.

Life is a journey. We all move on in it. We keep meeting people. We come across many challenges in all forms. If we have good, positive, ethical and correct intentions behind every thought and action of ours, then we are creating what we deserve. We are creating our own destiny. We will get what we deserve to remain peaceful, happy and healthy (physically, mentally and socially). We may not get what we want.

So, don't try to punish your father, mother, sister, brother, friend, lover, husband or wife or anyone who has cheated you or you perceive a cheating by them. Revenge is a negative thought, emotion and action. It is not a positive one. If it gives a feeling of goodness, then it will be only temporary and can harm us later. Also, it is a negative-pleasure, which is not good for our mental well-being. Those who cheat are creating their own destiny by their deeds. Their suffering out of their misdeeds is theirs. Their body is theirs and the pain in that is theirs. Their mind belongs to them and the suffering inside is with them. They only have to face the pain, agony, wrath and sadness. You continue to be good with them and every one. If you find them to be harmful to you, then leave the relationship. Be independent and don't depend on anyone for anything.

So, the crux is....EVERYONE CREATES HIS OR HER OWN DESTINY. SO, THERE IS NOTHING KNOWN AS CHEATING. NO ONE CHEATS ANY ONE. EVERY ONE SUFFERS PAIN IN THEIR BODY OR MIND DUE TO THEIR OWN MISDEEDS. SO, WE NEED NOT PUNISH THEM AND LAND UP IN LEGAL ACTION AGAINST US OR END UP IN LOSS OF TIME, ENERGY, PEACE AND HEALTH. JUST BE POSITIVE AND MOVE AHEAD IN LIFE!!

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!

'Your needs from others is your weakness where others exploit you!'

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...ESPECIALLY FOR MARRIED AND LOVERS...most importantly for the ADOLESCENTS…

We often feel that we are cheated. We are taken granted for or used and thrown away by others. We feel that the other person has used all sweet words, fake love and used a honey-trap to make us fall and exploited our body and mind; Our wealth and money. We feel that our strong trust and faith has been totally shattered and disrespected. We feel the heavens falling. We feel devastated. We feel heart-broken. We feel as if we have lost everything and there is nothing more to lose in life. All these are very personal issues that people are unable to speak out to even the closest people and cry and die inside. This traumatic emotional experience seriously affects the mind, development, personality and various other dimensions of an individual, especially for adolescents and children.

It is sad to see that such an experience comes at an young age of teens these days and everyone experiences at least one emotional break-up, in reality or perceived, before finishing their teens.

Why it happens?...How to avoid?...How to handle?

WHEN WE HAVE ANY NEED FROM ANOTHER PERSON, THEN WE BECOME WEAK. THE VULNERABILITY DEPENDS UPON THE LEVEL OF THE NEED. WE ARE SURE TO EXPERIENCE DISAPPOINTMENTS, LOSS OF TRUST, BREACH OF FAITH, CHEATED, USED UP AND TAKEN FOR GRANTED!!

The need could be financial, social, emotional, physical, mental, security etc. Many say that they believed the other person so much and the other person said and did sooo many things and unbelievably that person ditched suddenly. It is often said that ‘men give love for body and women give body for love’. We have hoppers and cheaters in both sexes. Unconditional love comes easily to women, but not for men. There is no point in blaming others for our own approaches of our own needs.

OUR NEED IS OUR WEAKNESS WHICH IS EXPLOITED BY THOSE WHO LOOK FOR SUCH SOFT TARGETS. THE EXPLOITATION COULD BE TO ANY LEVEL.

So, in this uncertain world full of unknown people with beautiful, good-boy masks, sugar coated honey words and innocent faces it is very dangerous to believe any one for our life long or short term needs. There are many personality disorder people who do not know that they have an issue and trap innocent girls.

What is the way out?

1.    *    Parents should learn, know, follow, practice and teach importance of unconditional love to children. Boys and girls should socialise from very young age itself to understand masculinity and feminism better.

2.       Parents should learn, know, practice and teach importance of human beings in life, the value of life long relationships so that the children do not develop short term, need based relationships. They just do not value human beings for what they have and what they can give to them. Instead, they should value human beings for who they are and what they are and develop lifelong strong relationships beyond the need fulfillment.

3.       Vedic life, of good night sleep from 10 to 5, early morning cold water bath, yoga, meditation, healthy balanced food with less spices and oil is important to keep body and mind stable and calm without higher need states. Food plays an important role in our body needs. Most of the relationships by men are for body needs. Body needs have no shame and consciousness of status, age, etc and can make anyone the weakest and get trapped. Body needs rule the brain and mind.

4.       Parents should know that pampering is not parenting, but to make the children employable to make their own money and wealth and not depend upon the other personis what is right parenting. Financial independency is a must.

5.       The life style from childhood should be to improve the spiritual quotient and emotional quotient, especially to girls, that they are emotionally strong with strong spiritual quotient (ability to keep the mind stable, calm and cool under any stressful situation in life) so that they don’t approach men for their emotional needs. The beginning of their approach to men for emotional needs is the start of their destruction. The more a girl is emotionally weak, the weakest she becomes, the easy soft target for men she becomes, and she is sure to get used up in the present 'use and throw' fast life style where no one has time, energy and patience to do maintenance and repairs in relationships!...Sadly, girls fall easily for praises, comforting and caring words, compromises and sacrifices of few instances. Men have more endurance and resilience to wait for their prey. It is not only with human beings, but those who have observed the animal world keenly will know that it is the natural trait of all male living organisms. They do all gimmicks to attract the female organisms for their needs. The more needy, the weakest, becomes the first and easy prey. 

Sadly, the recent past culture of ‘dependency between a man and a women for each other’s needs make them to develop a good bonding, relationship and happy family…even if they fight, they will compromise and join together to get their needs fulfilled from the other person’ is wrong because…1. Basically no human being can be kept or made purposely weak for the sake of dependency and living with the anxiety and fear of non-fulfilment of needs and wants..…this is not a healthy condition of the mind. Fear and anxiety is not good for a healthy mind. This is not the correct development of any human bein This is only incomplete development of a human being. Vedhas never say ‘curtail the development of a person to be dependent on others for needs’…vedhas can never say keep a human being always deficient to look for meeting the deficiency from others. In the past women were kept uneducated and unemployable to keep them weak and dependent on men so that they will have no other way other than to exist or survive with the man who had all independency to do whatever he wanted to do, and it was said that ‘all men are like that and women have to adjust with them!’. All compromises and sacrifices were expected out of only women and they had no other way to adjust ,with social taboo on her neck and multilayer security around her always. Similarly, men were not taught cooking, housekeeping, etc so that he is dependent on a woman for his body needs and a clean house. In an eat, work, entertain, reproduce and sleep culture the needs and weaknesses of both women and men are obvious.

The correct philosophy is to allow a human being to develop completely to be independent in all aspects, understand and appreciate the human beings of opposite sex (feminity or masculinity), live with the other person giving and taking unconditional love, meaning ‘care for the body, mind, relationships and support for the development to full potential, to fulfil the dreams, passion, goals, etc unconditionally’. Between two people each one should feel for the other this way, ‘I just love this person for who he is and what he is. Not for what he can give to me. God cannot come and live with me. Instead, god has sent this person to me who is an ideal human being who lives and makes relationship with me beyond his needs and wants without any expectations for himself. He is an ideal husband and an ideal father!!’. The man also should feel the same with his woman. In this, one lives for the other beyond the needs and wants of the self, and one cannot cheat the other, there are no expectations and so no fights, there is a better understanding as they are fully and completely developed in all spheres of a human being and human life, as their love is beyond the typical need fulfillment based love and they keep their body and mind stable with correct ideal life style where the body needs are subtle and mind needs (sixth sense of inquisitiveness to know the nature and things in nature) rule the life, unlike in the present and the recent past life style where needs of the body (tasty food, pleasure liquids and gases, reproductive needs) rule the everyday living, life and relationships!!

Here two strong people live together and not two weak people who are dependent on each other with anxiety and stress if their needs will get fulfilled or not and showing up all false, acted and manipulated behaviours to attract the other person for satiation of needs and fighting and get frustrated if the other person is not able to fulfil the needs.

So, the crux is…

1.       Be independent and strong in all aspects of a human being and needs.

2.       Don’t depend upon others for your needs. It is your weakness and you are most likely to be cheated or you will perceive  a sense of used-up, ditched, heart broken, trust lost, unfaithful etc.

3.       Practice unconditional love and teach your lover and spouse also the same explaining the importance and usefulness of this kind of divine love for life long, peaceful, unique and unseen relationship, to be role models for the children to learn and make their future true and ideal human relationships.

The above may be an ideal thing, but knowing the correct thing, moving closer towards that should be the goal, rather than not knowing where to reach and how to go and living a messed up life and feeling ‘this is how it is and there is no other better way!’!!

Peacefully yours…Rams…Psychologist!!

'sir, i am burnt out...i want retirement...i want to enjoy the life!!'

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...

When we do something which we don't like and not interested, just for the sake of money, then it is called 'WORK'. This is stressful, can't perform the best, we will not get any rewards, promotion, we will sense a 'feeling of rejection', boredom, we will lose the job, depression etc. Then we look for RETIREMENT and spend rest of about 20 to 40 years of life at home criticising everyone, govt, society, world and everything.

When we do something which we like and are interested in doing it, but expecting RETURNS, then also it becomes stressful, 'feeling of rejection', frustration, anger, sadness, disappointment etc.

But when we do something which we like doing, we are interested, if demand for this will always be there or we can change our interests around this as demands change over the years, if it gives us livelihood, and we have kept all the processes to ensure that we get our due also, then THERE IS NO RETIREMENT...THERE IS NO BOREDOM...THERE IS NO STRESS...THERE ARE NO ANXIOUS MOMENTS...THERE ARE NO DAYS OF 'NO INCOME'...WE WILL ALWAYS BE CREATIVE...WE WILL GET 'FEELING OF ACCEPTANCE'...WE WILL GET APPRECIATION FOR OUR WORK...WE WILL BE

REWARDED ALWAYS...WE WILL GET PROMOTION AND ALL THAT WE DESERVE...ENTIRE LIFE WILL BE FILLED WITH FUN, PROSPERITY, JOY AND GOOD HEALTH.

So, let us follow this new style of living...not the traditional old stressful, disease and disorder giving style which our recent generation lived!!

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!