a good father and a good daughter!

 hai all...recently i met two people...it is about them...


recently a father and his daughter came to me...the girl was crying...obviously father is sad...

girl said 'Uncle!...my parents always told me that i should study well and get the college seat by merit. I did that. Now they are not allowing me to join the college i got for my merit, though it is a very good college!...they want to pay a hefty some to get a seat in another best college for me!...i don't like they spending such a huge sum and i don't like getting a college or course through money. I should get it through my merit. I could not get in that best college. It is ok. I am happy with this college where i got!'

father said 'She is my only daughter. She never asked me for anything in her life. Even during childhood, when we go to malls, she will pick up a toy, look at it for some time, and after seeing the price tag will leave it and move. She never picked up a toy or chocolate or any damn thing under the sky and said 'dad, i want this, please get it for me!'...I earn a lot of money and the car i use costs 15 lakhs. A metal if sold will not go even for 8 lakhs though it is just one year old. So, why not i spend some lakhs to get her the best college and course. She has done her best and got wonderful marks, college and seat. But the college where she wants to join in her heart wants more than what she has scored. During childhood we bought her the toy which ever she gazed or adored at for more time! so, what ever she adored, we got it for her. She has done her part in studies. Now it is our time and duty to do our bit towards meeting her inner happiness. So, i am telling her that we will pay and get that seat in that college which she refuses. As per me we should follow 'Ramayana' in normal life. But when it comes to winning at the last moment we should follow 'Mahabharatha'!...final winning is as important as following the correct path towards getting it...i have few hundreds of lakhs...so, 10 lakhs or 15 lakhs really does not make any difference...and that too for my only daughter...for her dream college and course!'

I did not know what to say, obviously tears gathered in my eyes looking at both...what a daughter...what a father!

the girl added 'uncle, though i am from the best school of tamil nadu and a topper, even my class first can not join that college through merit. So, all my classmates, relatives and friends will know that my father got that seat for me through payment and not by my merit. This will pain me'.

This added pain to me, and i was scratching my balls as to how to solve this problem. But during the talks she casually made a sentence 'if i do well in that college, then i will not feel guilty!'...this became my life saving thread and i knew that she will top in that course and college!...so, could change her mind in a pleasant manner and now she is happy being there! So, happy parents and happy daughter!...athuthaaney namakku vendiyathu!

bye...keep rocking...

rams

let us kiss the ladders!...and not kick!

hai all...

all those who teach us are like ladders...our parents, school teachers, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, friends, professors, guides, mentors, councilors...all of them!

climb up the ladder and reach great heights!

none of the ladder can take you to skies beyond a level. So, once you are on top of a ladder, catch hold of another bigger ladder or the one which can take you to further up towards the sky!...don't get stuck with a single ladder and the height it can launch you!

so keep changing ladders and keep moving up!

when you shift to other ladders, don't kick or damage the ladder below you...the one on which you climbed and went up!

as it is required for others to use and grow to reach the skies!

to hold you safe in case you fall down slipping from another ladder or due to your carelessness or mistakes!

ladders do not hurt you or ditch you!...it is you who slip!

ladders never hate you, so never hate ladders!

ladders always help all, without any prejudice to any one!

remember...they never grow and remain wherever they are....

just to elevate you and support you so that you don't fall ever!

rams

who are seniors?

hai guys and gals..how are we?

seniors are like hot stoves...seniors are all those who help us grow!

if you stay far away from them, you will not get the warmth of the stove!
if you are close to them you will feel their warmth and feel nice!
if you are very close then you will feel hot and miserable!

if you touch them you will get burnt!
Not because the stove does not like you, but because you have touched it!

so, take care....

rams

are apples good for health?

"an apple a day keeps the doctor away"

Is it true these days?????????????????

the correct phrase is "an apple day will screw up your health in a big way"....why i make such an irritated statement?

because these days all types of apples are coated with a thick or thin coating of wax and sold!

so, the options available are either remove the wax and eat...or remove the skin and eat!

scrapping the wax takes hell a lot of time and the urge to eat an apple goes off moment you think about the job of scratching it for several minutes!...it also discolors the apple due to the scratches and does not motivate us to eat!

if we remove the skin then vital nutrition goes off and that also takes a lot of time and effort!

each apple costs about Rs.30/- and above!

we can not remove the wax by keeping it in boiling water as the melting point of wax is more than the boiling point of water!...if we do that the wax does not melt but the apple only gets cooked!

what a bloody sad state of affairs!

i wish those who coat the apples with wax change their minds or some govt or private organisation does something to avoid this menace!

when will they learn that coating or spraying any poisonous or bad chemical on eatables actually kills us!

hai, wondering why not much posts here?

hai all, wondering why not much posts here these days...connect to LinkedIn...and click The Psychology Network there...you will find me discussing a lot about issues that make up or affect our lives!...some time when i find time i will transfer the knowledge from there!

rams

are we confused in 'how to rear girl children?'

Our parents in india are too good. Moment a baby girl is born think about its schooling, job, future goals etc, dream a lot and work day and night to select the best school etc. They keep their heart inside the mouth always and run with anxiety. Get up early in the morning, bath the child, feed, arrange auto or van, send to school, sit with the child, teach every day, discuss with neighbours, teachers and doctors if the performance is not ok, feel sad, cry too and spend sleepless nights to get her on the track. Arrange tuitions…hmm…what not we do!

Starting the coaching for IITs or IIMs from early or from 7th…we also get transferred to a place where good education is available, all our planning, family strategies are focused towards the ‘best education for the child’…spend sleepless nights and days from 9th to 12th …send them to professional course paying lakhs and lakhs…
But why when it comes to marriages we ask them or force them or plan strategies to make them compromises and sacrifices in their career or life?

today I attended the graduation ceremony of my daughter, spoke to some of them…of course, I have been talking to them for the past four years…I found most of these girls have been ignited and fired well from childhood to be an achiever, but once they joined the college their parents have all the time been talking about marriage or higher education and marriage or ‘marriage and no job’…the girls ask ‘why parents behave like this?...when I am about to become an achiever they say ‘compromise and sacrifice’ for ‘marriage’…any answers for this?...this makes the girls to plan their strategies!!!!...

a girl who scored amazing marks in tenth and +2, joining engg on merit, winning the gold and best student award, has been made to get married and remain at home by her parents...understand that was the agreement before she came to college between the girl and her parents!

to make others happy, we should be happy and healthy first!

we are great indian parents...we try to keep everyone happy...but are we happy and healthy?

If the mother or father is not happy...healthy...can he or she keep others in the family happy and healthy?

our sacrificial mothers and fathers forget brushing, sleeping, eating and their entertainment...they, on the name of (emotionally) looking after their children better than other parents, sacrifice many things and remain unhappy or neutral (actually they can bloody well do all that...but they like doing like that...they want to indicate or show that they are paying so much attention to their kids!!!)...their threshold of happiness too low that 'they think they are happy' even when neutral...

the truth is 'no one can make any one happy unless he or she is happy'...the other truth is 'no one makes other one happy, when they are happy the contagious positive disease spreads to others also...that is all'

so, let us first keep ourselves happy!...happiness does not come on its own...saying 'I am here. Come and hug me!'...it is a conscious effort...once the habit of being happy is inculcated from childhood, it remains forever and if it is culture in the family with all the people, then it spreads or flows to people outside also...but is it the state?

in our great culture our happiness is conditional...i.e we say 'I will be happy if I get good marks...good college...good job...if my mother cooks that...if I am there...or if I have that'....so lots of IFs and BUTs we have....so, our happiness is only conditional and we can not be happy always...it comes once in a while...rarely...as conditions are not fulfilled often...as they are not in our hands...as our thresholds are low we don't think about higher levels of happiness...mostly we perceive 'pleasure' as happiness...great world of perceptions we live in!!!!

we need to know and grow a lot, before we start producing children and not to screw up our children and their future!