THIS IS FOR ALL GIRLS...(of course, FOR BOYS WHO WANT GIRLS IN THEIR LIFE AND WANT TO BECOME FATHERS OF GIRLS ONE DAY!!)

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL GIRLS...(of course, FOR BOYS WHO WANT GIRLS IN THEIR LIFE AND WANT TO BECOME FATHERS OF GIRLS ONE DAY!!)

1. Qn. Sir, parents are everything for us!...Without them we would not have gone to college. They have paid so much of fees for entire life, looked after us sooo nicely with love and affection. How can we go against their expectations and wishes?

Ans. I completely agree that parents need to be loved and taken care off. I am not telling you to hate your parents and go against them. But it is also important to communicate with them your heart out, expose them to the changes around, bring them out from the wrong, obsolete, 'illusion' that they are still hanging on around regarding love, marriage, family, job, relatives, social stigma, life, living etc. By telling, even if they understand, may not get convinced to change.

But if they are exposed to the environment, meet people who are achievers in professional, family and social life...all three dimensions...live through their life practically for few days...made to understand-by-feeling-and-experiencing then they will change!!...

There are many girls who have told their parents "Dad and Mom!! I love you both a lot!! Without you both and your support i am not there!!...It is my responsibility to take care of you against all odds in my life and that i will certainly do!!...It is my promise!! But don't force me to live your primitive, obsolete life!!...What you and me think may not be right. So, let us both discuss, meet people who have achieved in all dimensions, see and listen how they tackled the challenges you anticipate in my life that i dream off and accordingly decide!!'...joined and still joining the armed forces, civil services, politics, journalism and other nontraditional professions as officers and administrators!...Their parents who were apprehensive earlier have changed their minds, understood the world they had not seen earlier and feel grateful that they have changed!!

I have changed the minds of many village parents (by exposing them to the unseen world) who have produced Einsteins and Curies but wanted their children to live like them...'living organisms which eat, sleep, reproduce, rear and die'!...They felt grateful that their eyes got opened and 'freed' their birds!!

So, PATIENCE, PERSEVERANCE, HARD-WORK, COMMITMENT to BOTH PASSION AND PARENTS is the way out!!

Indian girls are the best in the world with all the ingredients like intelligence, dedication, high flexibility and adaptability, hard-working ability, ready for compromises and sacrifices to the core, commitment, perseverance, patience...list is long!...So, behind the few successful girls in this country there is a mother, father and a husband (may be in-laws too!) who supported them in all their endeavours including their motherhood!!...

Behind the remaining crores and crores of unsuccessful girls in this country who have been pushed into "LEARNED HELPLESSNESS", there are crores and crores of helpless mothers, male chauvinistic fathers and husbands who have nicely tamed the girls on the name of love and caring for their selfish motives of sex, food, clean home, child grooming, services of all types, nursing, emotional support...list is long!!...Their love and caring should have been 'selfless' so that the girl also extends true selfless love and affection while she lives a life full of freedom, passion, achievements, contentment and fulfillment!!

So, out of the two guys who really matter in your life, you can't decide your father, but you can certainly decide your life mate who supports you with strong backbone!!...You can change your father while you grow, you have lots of time, but why should you waste your precious life time to change the sick husband and his parents?? Of course, if damage done already, then nothing wrong in spending some time to change them too!!...Better be late than never!!...There are lakhs and lakhs of highly educated, rich, wealthy, famous, powerful, authoritative but sick, primitive, traditional, unlearned, under developed, not evolved, egoistic, rigid, TYPE-A parents in this country!!

so, girls....

1. Love is not just paying fees, giving good food and shelter, giving all the freedom, till only college life!!...Love is not being selfish!...Love is 'caring for life time unconditionally giving freedom in everything even after marriage'!!...Love should not be suffocating, conditional, demanding, expecting, caging, killing, selfish etc.

2. You need to educate the parents by positive methods of patience, open communication, love and affection, caring, exposing them, giving them the time and oppurtunity to change etc.

3. Remember, if you are positive, good, convinced about your life path, strong on your decisions, clearly explained your decisions about your definition of life to your parents and live by that...THEY CAN NOT DO ANYTHING!!...So, everything is IN YOUR HANDS ONLY!...It is my own personal experience!!...When i was different, rebellion, told all these revolutionary thoughts that i am typing here and in my blog to my parents in early 70's (!!!!!) they did not agree and forced me. But when i exhibited patience, caring, love and affection, perseverance to my convictions...they took time...they thought...and felt 'This boy is different, but good. We can't find anything wrong or bad or negative in his life style. So, why not we leave him and support him!!'. Even Wild animals can be tamed with Love and Affection. So, parents are nothing!!

4. The psychology of indian parents is that ....(a) they are too scared about everything...god, parents, people, teachers, politicians, religious leaders...that is how they are groomed!!..So, if they get shelter, security (food security, social security, emotional security, health security etc), love and care then they will change their sides and support you!!....(b) they have some dreams of comfortable and respectable social living. If you make their dreams come true then they will support you!!....(c) They might feel that they have spent a lot on you and might expect you to support your siblings in their education or marriage. If you could support this then they will support you!!....(d) Indian parents are 'sacrificial' so if you give them money and make them feel that they live a wealthy life compared to their siblings/relatives then they will support you!!...So, it is sooo easy to bend your parents to your side!!

It is wiser to take your parents along on your side as you need support in all dimensions so that you can concentrate on your passions, multi-pronged life goals...and who else can be trustworthy, loyal, hardworking and doing everything for you with love and affection, then your parents!!

So, all the best!!

Peacefully yours...rams...Social Psychologist!!

People and Relationships are like Pigeons in our hands!!

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...ESPECIALLY FOR ADOLESCENT/COLLEGE STUDENTS...

Human beings and our relationships with them are like 'Pigeons'.

They are beautiful. We can 'perceive' peace, happiness and good health. What we perceive is in our hands!!...If we care for them, pamper them, look after them nicely giving the due freedom, they will remain with us, so that we can perceive what we want!

If we hold tight with both the hands and press hard with possessiveness and caging mentality then it will die!!

If we only use and do not take care, then also it will fly away!!

Sooooo....what shall we do?? (don't tell me, kozhambu vachhudalaam!!)

Peacefully yours...rams...health psychologist!!

How to do 'Match-Making' for marriages?

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL COLLEGE STUDENTS...The biggest torture in front for all girl students from their parents' side in our culture is 'MARRIAGE'!

Most of the parents still live in old, do match making, marriages etc in traditional style and see the marriages failing and blame the boy and girl!!

Seeing caste, religion, wealth, matching status, gains for business or their own selves will only result in failures.

So, girls, better make your back bones strong...list down the following...and ask the boys also to write down the following...see if both match...then only put a step forward...

1. What is 'your' Purpose of Marriage?
2. What do you look for in married life?...List down and prioritize.
3. What are your expectations from the other person?
4. What are your needs and wants from the other person?
5. Do you both work at the same place?...Will you both work at different places after marriage?...Do you accept living separately as 'family living' after marriage?...Who will sacrifice or compromise in professional life temporarily or permanently?
6. Who will rear the children?..What are the impacts on their personality in their development?

like this there are many more important things than the old type of matching caste or religion as, today, no one follows the positive things of their caste or religion that gives peace, happiness and good health!

Wealth and status can be gained by the education and hard work by today's youngsters utilizing the oppurtunities, unlike the oldies, who depended on the incoming-girl and her family for everything parasitically!!

So, think and be bold, courageous and communicate...!! Don't lose the golden and only opportunity to live and enjoy this earth!!

Peacefully yours...rams...health psychologist!!

Positive personality attributes are much more important in life than Intelligence...so develop that!!

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...To live peacefully, to be successful in family life, social life and in professional life, to be healthy and happy WE NEED TO HAVE POSITIVE PERSONALITY ATTRIBUTES AND TRAITS. Many IITians and IIMians are not successful in their professional life or family life or social life or in all because of lack of personality attributes required...Most important thing is ADAPTABILITY to people and situations in life!

Scientists have found out about 630+ attributes. Most of which are negative. This shows that we and our cultures are generally negative. So, we need to put in conscious effort to change many of our personality attributes to become positive, peaceful, happy, healthy and successful in all domains of life. Otherwise life will be a hell both at home and at office and we will not feel successful, contented and fulfilled in life ever and this only chance of living and enjoying this life on this beautiful earth will be lost!!

Type 'personality attributes of human beings' in google you will get the list to see where we have to change!!

Peacefully yours...rams...Health Psychologist...!!

THIS IS FOR ALL THOSE WHO FEEL THEIR LOVE IS A FAILURE!!

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL THOSE WHO FEEL THEIR LOVE IS A FAILURE!!

Volumes and volumes have been written in my blog about love (type 'funnyrams' in google and click the top most link...if you like, tell all your friends and relatives too so that they also get benefitted!). Here is yet another one!

We keep hearing this word LOVE FAILURE!!

First of all 'What is Love?' and 'What is love failure?'

When do we say we love some one?...When we feel that we are 'attracted' towards some one for some reason known or unknown with or without physical or emotional relationship??

Ok, This situation can be one sided or both sided...i.e only one feels the attraction towards the other or both feel that they are attracted towards each other!!

When only one person gets attracted towards the other and feels his or her love is failure, then it is not correct, as we can't force anyone to fall in love with us as (because no one can force us to love anyone!) it is a natural feeling that springs inside a person!...One might turn the earth for the other person, but if the other person does not feel love, you can't help it!..But certainly this is a life time experience and it affects the person positively or negatively!

When we say 'attraction', then question comes, "How long it will or can lost?...How long the same intensity can lost?"...This changes from person to person!

Only in cases of DEVOTEE kind of love feeling it remains for life time!...What is devotee kind of love feeling?....i.e feeling that 'This person is my life!...I don't know for what i am attracted, but i am not possessive. I adore this person a lot and all my life is for this person. I don't expect anything from this person. There is no need for this person to be with me or talk to me or do anything for me. The moment i think about this person there is an eternal happiness that flows in me. I feel at peace. I feel out of the world!...This person need not take care of me or do anythingggggg for me! I don't mind this person having any type of relationship with anyone! It does not affect me anyway!...Because 'my love feeling is what matters to me that gives me peace and happiness, i always perceive love from this person...so, there is no question of that person not loving me, in my opinion!'. If one perceives such a love, then it remains for life time...It could be an obsession. But as long as the individual is able to do the chores of life, deliver her / his responsibilities to self, family, organisation and society, then there is no problem!! As this devotee love is beyond the interests, needs, wants and expectations, it can lost a life time!..After all love is a FEELING

All other loves break or get strained or turn into only acquaintance or 'some thing lacks some where'.

The interests, needs, wants, goals, passion, expectations etc keeps changing in human beings. Therefore people get attracted to different people for different reasons to different levels in their life time. It varies and depends upon person to person.

Moment we feel attracted towards some one, we have SOME need, expectation, want etc. Once the need vanishes, then love also vanishes. It can break or just become a friendship or acquaintance. Intensities also keep changing due to several reasons.

Therefore, LOVE FAILURE is OUR OWN PERCEPTION it is untrue and not reality!...Let us understand this love concept in a way, whether it is correct or not, but in a way that it can not affect our peace, happiness, health and self actualisation!!

Peacefully yours...rams...Health Psychologist!!

THIS IS FOR ALL THOSE WHO FEEL AGED!!

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL THOSE WHO FEEL AGED!!

Our daily routine, our life style, our dressing and appearance, our behaviours, the way we talk, our actions and reactions to others’ behaviours, our thinking, our morals and values, our perceptions on right and wrong, the profession we select, our passion, our hobbies, the way we think we should conduct in front of others etc, our opinions on various issues at home, office and society depends upon our thinking about our age, how old we are!!

We always show socially accepted and expected behaviours commensurate with our age. This is what actually kills our physical-mental and social health ultimately in our society and we die faster!!

If we think we are young, we tend to remain active, fresh, vibrant, bubbly, with lots of josh and energy, radiating, full of laughs, fun and happiness, think out of the box and be creative, friendly with our children, their friends, students, we dress young, we appear young, we become positive (as the wisdom and experience of age reacts positively with the behaviours and thinking of the young people around, not rigid, flexible...adaptive with the changes around...), we are productive at home office and society, everyone will like us, life style diseases and ailments will not enter the body and mind, we will be physically-mentally-socially healthy, we will age slowly and so we will live long!!

When we think we are aged the opposite of above happens in our life. It affects our metabolism, the way our systems and their organs function, hormonal and neurotransmitter secretions which decide our interests, needs, moods etc and ultimately the goal at that time, and we start aging faster, getting all sorts of diseases and ailments, become weak, sad, worry some, isolated and feel lonely, full of negatives, children become enemies and we become enemies to them, no hunger, less diet, constipation and associated discomforts, rigid, always full of negative thoughts about all issues, everyone and everything, full of frustration and anger, with bad physical-mental-social well-being and we will appear much older than we actually are!!...We only exist or survive and do not live for about 30+ years after 50, with our higher life expectancy with medication and treatments!!

10 year boy compares with infant and feels old! 20 year old boy compares with 10 and feels old! 40 years old man compares with 20 and feels old! 80 years old compares with 60 and feels old! 60 compares with 40 and feels old! So, all of us here compare ourselves with younger people and ‘feel’ old!!

Truly a person younger to us is not younger; he or she is much older than us!!! Because when we were young they were 80+ of their previous birth, died and took rebirth and are here now. So, truly they are older than us and we are younger than them!!...hihihi...everything depends upon 

how we PERCEIVE!!😂

So, let us think young, be young, be with young and live longer!!

Peacefully yours...rams...Health Psychologist!!

How to give the best performance on work, stage and in relationships?

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...

"UNLESS WE LOSE OURSELVES IN WHAT WE ARE DOING AS A DEVOTEE, IT CAN NOT BECOME THE BEST PERFORMANCE OR ACT OR PRODUCT OR SERVICE AND WHEN IT BECOMES THE BEST, IT BECOMES AN 'ART'..."...It could be WORK at office or home, or a project at college, it could be a in a RELATIONSHIP like love, friendship, husband, wife, lover, parent, it could be a PERFORMING ACT like painting or dancing or singing or sex or reading or writing exam or anything under the sky. WE HAVE TO BE IN THE PRESENT AND LOSE OURSELVES, GO BEYOND THE CONSCIOUSNESS.

This is when the audience or boss or evaluator or the other person in the relationship or act says "Awesome man! What a bloody performance yaar! I too forgot myself and went to a different world!...I may not see yet another performance like this again ever!!"...and the performer says "I don't know what i did!!...I just started and something, some force went inside me, may be from divine, and that is it!! I don't know and remember anything i did!!"

So, "LET US LOSE OURSELVES AS DEVOTEES IN WHAT WE DO!"...WE WILL NEVER FAIL, WE WILL NEVER LOSE OUR RELATIONSHIPS AND WE WILL ALWAYS BE THE BEST!!

Peacefully yours...rams...Health Psychologist!!

How to implement what we want to get implemented at home or office or in society?

Dear all...THIS IS FOR STUDENTS AND YOUTH!!

Our parents, politicians, religious leaders and such other people have divided the world, countries, states etc in to as many possible divisions as possible based on innumerable factors like language, religion, caste, race, sub caste etc for their own motto of being in power, amass wealth and other selfish motives. All of them have resulted in only HATE and DESTRUCTION in COUNTRIES and ENTIRE WORLD!!

Ok, has it resulted in growth or PEACE, HAPPINESS, HEALTH, RELATIONSHIPS at least within the minority groups?...A big No!!...HATERS CAN NEVER BE PEACEFUL, HAPPY AND HEALTHY!!...Have they grown or spread their religion or language or caste to others?...No, because NO ONE WILL LIKE HATERS, NO ONE WILL FOLLOW HATERS!!

What the predecessors have done?...They have only EMOTIONALLY DRIVEN people, made people follow them like dumb goats, made them not to think with their common sense or conscious mind, rational-matured-evolved thinking and indulge in all NEGATIVE AND DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOURS WHICH CAN SPOIL THEIR PEACE, HAPPINESS and GOOD HEALTH.

They only taught people to REACT through NEGATIVE THINKING, EMOTIONS. COMMUNICATION AND BEHAVIOURS resulting in destruction and NOT ACT with POSITIVE THOUGHTS, EMOTIONS, COMMUNICATION AND BEHAVIOURS resulting in CONSTRUCTIVE ACTIVITIES!

e.g when the Mile Stones on National Highways which are used by people of entire nation are written with a national language, they only react by showing negative behaviours of painting and erasing it. Instead they can think about the purpose, cross section of users, and use legal and positive/right methods of introducing multi-lingual stones by taking up the issue through proper channel, following correct procedures etc or use positive methods of discussing the issue and finding out constructive solutions suitable for all users of the road.

The above is just one example and there are many such issues in which we only REACT EMOTIONALLY and not ACT LOGICALLY, RATIONALLY, MEANINGFULLY, POSITIVELY, CONSTRUCTIVELY ETC WITH COMMON SENSE AND 'PRESENCE OF MIND IN A POSITIVE WAY'!

So, our educated, cultured, evolved, matured youth of today should wake up, think and use positive and constructive methods.

Peacefully yours...rams...Health Psychologist.

"I want all the people of this country to learn my language, the people of the world to follow my culture!!'

Dear all....THIS IS FOR STUDENTS AND YOUTH...

Here are some beliefs, what we do and what we can do in positive ways...

1. My language is the best. Every one should know my language if they want to enter our state. My language should be come national language.

All those who say that their language is the best, how many languages they know and researched to find out this?...What is their proficiency in their language?...If they liked it sooo much (some say it is their life, jeevan etc and even sacrifice their life for their language!!) then how much efforts they have put in to learn and master their language?...What is their POSITIVE contribution to develop or spread the language through POSITIVE METHODS?

First we should allow others to enter the state (temples etc) and thereafter they will automatically learn the language for survival needs. If our people live like good human beings in harmony, peace, happiness, good health and positive cultural beliefs-rituals-customs and traditions-life style then they will automatically get attracted towards our language and culture, learn it, live it and spread it too!! We need not THRUST ON OTHERS, the way we do not like to get thrusted by others!!..This is how LANGUAGES AND CULTURES CAN BE SPREAD through POSITIVE METHODS.

NATIONALISATION AND GLOBALISATION WILL ONLY INCREASE AND SPREAD IN THE YEARS TO COME IN INDIA AND IN THE WORLD. CHANGE IS THE ONLY THING THAT DOES NOT CHANGE. So, those who understand this, adapt to the change and live will only live. Others will resist and perish!!...So, decide whether you want to perish or live!!...Your parents and predecessors survived or existed with the HATE POLICY. It is not possible any further!!

2. My culture is the best and every one should follow!

First let us know what our culture is, live as per our culture and show to the world that by living like that, we can live without LIFE STYLE DISEASES, peacefully, live in harmony, love all, accept all, be matured and evolved, be physically and mentally healthy, socially healthy, be good human beings, be global and achievers, be intelligent etc. If we show this to the world, then we need not tell or force by law to make others follow our culture or religion. Others will automatically follow. Else if we have the opposite of above, then no one will follow, and the culture will fade and die one day!!

Peacefully yours...rams...Health Psychologist.

Are Principles of Chanakya good for life?

Dear all...Principles of Chanakya might bring fame, top positions/promotions, money, wealth and all others related to PLEASURES and its associated negatives too in life. But i doubt if they can bring PEACE, HAPPINESS, GOOD LIFE LONG RELATIONSHIPS, GOOD HEALTH, CONTENTMENT AND FULFILLMENT IN LIFE!!

Using POSITIVE METHODS with out spoiling the bold words above (the chore issues of life and living!) is what is important!!

Peacefully yours...rams...Health Psychologist.

How to teach children about MANAGEMENT OF RELATIONSHIPS??

Dear all...THIS IS FOR PARENTS AND CHILDREN...

Today with the flourishing of social networks, mobiles in the hands of every small children with their active presence in social media and the dynamics between girls and boys due to gender inequality in classrooms...RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT is an issue!!

We need to teach the children the positive meaning of people, relationships, how to identify good human beings, how to initiate-grow-maintain good relationships for life time and also how people change in life in different ages and stages which will also change them regarding the time and importance they give for relationships.

First of all, we ourselves need to learn. Does every parent know, has every parent learnt all the above. A big NOOOO!...They think they are experts and they know...but the truth is a big NO!...Any formal education on this...NO!...Has any one been taught...NO!...Every one learns on his or her own and makes 'perceptions' about what is right and what is wrong about making images/assessments about people, relationships etc.

What is to be taught to children?

1. Love nature, grow Nature, Worship Nature, Don't destroy Nature, Live with Nature, eat Natural products that have less starch and less fat. Live a Vedic Life. Radiate and let this spread to all your people around.

2. Do yoga, running, walking, cycling and playing group games. Let people around you see the radiance in you, positive thoughts, feelings and behaviours in you due to these and follow in their lives too!

3. Be kind, good,helpful and positive to all around. Don't differentiate people based on their religion, caste, language, region etc. Instead, love their different life style and imbibe those which are healthy, positive and suitable to you.

4. Read all books of different religion, sciences, management, history, geography, engineering, medicine and every book that you feel can add value to your 'life'. Let 'LEARNING' be purpose of your life. i.e becoming a good, healthy, peaceful, happy, multi-skilled, multi talented personality with lots of knowledge and wisdom.

5. Live a meditative life i.e BE IN THE PRESENT!...Remember, there is no rise or fall in life. There is only learning in life. No one takes everything that he has 'earned'. Every one takes only those he has learnt. So, travel all over this earth (not just the 'world' which probably means only the 'land'!). Live with people of different religions, races, on hills, forests, oceans, seas, deserts, mountains, valleys. Read, observe, enjoy, experience and LEARN.

6. Give double the goodness to your friends when they give some goodness to you. Teach them also how to keep doubling this goodness we give in relationships and multiply and make it strong and long in life!

7. Remember that the interests, wants and needs of people keep changing approximately every 5 years of living. So, they keep changing the time, quality, importance, priority and intensities in their relationships too. But, remember, when there is a selfless, devotional, strong, positive, enduring, 'giving' is the backbone of the relationship, it will last forever as the backbone and life line of life!

8. If you live like this you will on your own find out and be able to list down your friends, your priorities for them, their importance in your life, the value that they have in your life and be able to decide your life partner or soul mate.

Then what else, go ahead with your life with them!!

This is what, i suppose, we need to teach the children from the age of 5 years!!...Do we know this?...Do we do this?...What do we teach them?...Are we teaching the right thing?...If we are teaching then why are we anxiety struck every moment about the children and their relationships?

Peacefully yours...rams...Health Psychologist.