"Sir, why relationships are failing?"

 Dear all,

The human relationships worldwide are failing because human beings make Transactional Relationships. They look for something from the other person, either openly/directly or in subtle ways. In Live-in relationships and relationships-with-benefits there is a give-and-take, a kind of business relationship, an unwritten contractual terms and conditions in the relationship. Therefore, when the conditions are not met or when the needs are no more existing, then the relationship fails. 

If it is a Transformative Relationship then one is interested in transforming the other person...there is no self interest...our interest is there on the other person...generally it is well accepted, received, and recognised by the other person...i.e we are in the giving mode...transforming mode...the person can probably feel the changes, developments, improvements, growth, in them in different dimensions of the self, life, career, happiness levels, peace and contentment levels...and the relationship may not break or weaken...

So, covert all your Transactional Relationships into Transformative Relationships!!

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!

"Sir, How to become a Genius?"

 Dear all,

How to become a Genius?

Read one page. Think Hundred pages. Ask thousands of questions. Find answers scientifically. Use eyes of Nature. Understand how nature works. Find solutions in the Nature's way!!

Peacefully yours...

Rams

Reversal of Role Modelling....

 Dear all,

20 years before i was a Commander in Navy. So, i was a Role Model and Inspiration for few students. They wanted to become like me!! 

Now, they have reached such high levels in life that they have become Role Models and Inspiration to me. I want to become like them!!🤣

Peacefully yours...Rams...!!!

"Positive deviants are the individuals using unusual tactics to achieve success"...Dr Gary Klein...

 

• Positive deviants are the individuals using unusual tactics to achieve success, and we can learn from them.
• Their tactics may be subtle, and they might not even understand what is working.
• Expertise is needed to spot positive deviants, diagnose the reasons for their success, and spread the message.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/seeing-what-others-dont/202305/gunfire-at-sea-the-challenge-of-using-positive-deviants

Dream Big!!

 

Hai students and scholars,

Usually we aim to become something taking those around us or those whom we met in our school or college as rolemodel. 

Most of the times this aim becomes much lesser than our true full potential.

I watched and listened to the speech by Professor Deborah Prentice who took over as the 347th Vice Chancellor of University of Cambridge. She started her life as a simple psychologist and grew up to become an administrator of educational institutions and now the VC of the prestigious University of Cambridge!!

When i heard her speech i felt 'Why no one guided me to become like this when i was a student?...Why i did not think like this before?'....so i thought let me share so that you also don't think later the way i think now!!!

So, think Global....aim high...rule the world!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVBPrtjLGno

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deborah_Prentice

Listen to her speech....you will redefine and rewrite your life goals!!!💪

Peacefully yours...Dr M Ramasubramanian...CAO, IIM Kashipur!!

Grow to a level that your CV is just one line!!......'I am a Nobel Laureate in Economics'!!!

 

Hai Students and Scholars!!

 

🙋‍♂️...We write so much in our CV to describe about our qualifications, experience, skill sets etc. Why not we grow to a level that we just write one line in the CV which describes everything about us!! (e.g 'I am a Nobel Laureate in Economics')...or may be CV itself is not required for us...We need to think differently!!!🤔

Few years back when i superannuated from Navy, i felt miserable correcting my CV every day and uploading some 27 experience details etc in job applications....somehow i travelled through that journey...now when i think about superannuating from IIM Kashipur the nightmare of again correcting cv suiting every job description is painful...so, when i asked myself why i have to undergo this pain, the mind said 'You have not grown to a level of not requiring a CV or not grown to a level of making a simple or one liner cv!!'....so, i feel it is comparatively easier to become one rather than undergoing that painful process of cv correction!!..I also feel i should have known or someone should have told or guided me like this earlier during my student days....so only i shared so that it may be useful for someone here!!

Dr M Ramasubramanian, CAO, IIM Kashipur.

"sir, human beings appear to be abstract and confusing!!"

 Dear friends....

Though few of the human behaviours appear abstract, today we have many knowledge tools available to study/research them systematically and put in a scientific manner to understand better.

We make substantive statements through the knowledge gained by observation...and later prove them through scientific analysis...one advantage in this is we discover new things which are not visible to our eyes or mind...with these discoveries we invent new things either useful or dangerous or both!!

Peacefully yours....Dr M Ramasubramanian

For changing your life, change your life style!!

 Dear IIM Students,

Till now you were following a lifestyle adapting to your place of living, organisation of working, the kind of work you did from waking up to sleep, meeting your wants and needs and the expectations of all the significant people around you at home, organisation, institution, and society.

Now your place is different. Organisation/institution is different. Your wants and needs are different. The expectations of your parents, your professors, your friends, and all others around you are different.

So, if you have to be physically healthy, mentally peaceful and happy, socially healthy, and meet your wants and needs, then you have to change the lifestyle. If you continue to follow the same lifestyle then you can’t meet your own needs, wants and expectations, forget about that of meeting the expectations of others in your life.

We all know that with the change in one independent variable, the dependent variables also have to change. The independent variable is what you change, and the dependent variable is what changes as a result of that. So, allow it to change. Don’t resist. You only chose IIM study and changed your place of living and studying. So, all factors related to the new place and its demands have to change commensurately. Otherwise, you will experience stress. The stressors will damage your physical, mental, and social well-being. They will push you back to the old previous state of life to regain the stability of the system and also to ensure you are without stress. But the truth is if you go back to previous state you will be more stressed. So, there is no other way other than to change the dependent variables. That means your lifestyle has to change!!...No escape. If you want your life to change, then your lifestyle has to change!!

But that new lifestyle should be health enhancing and not health compromising. Otherwise, you will end up with some other serious problems in life.

Therefore, the first and foremost is to realise that you have to change your lifestyle in health enhancing ways, sustainable ways, and in tune with the needs of the present new life!!...you have to change yourself…The New YOU with the changed personality traits, changed ways of doing things you have been doing from waking up to sleep (as morning to night does not hold good at IIM), leaving some old habits, creating some new habits and developing them, unlearning some old learning, learning something new….all these to adapt to the new place, new life, new beginning of an entirely different future life!!

So, take the first step today for a big leap tomorrow!!

Start now….

Peacefully yours…Dr M Ramasubramanian.

Accept the outcomes of your decisions and live through them!!

 

Dear students!!

 

We all have 'n' number of choices today to select courses, institutions, organisations to work and learn. We can choose online courses and 'work from home' kind of jobs in case we are not interested in leaving the home or our significant people at home are not interested in sending us out of our family environment. But we only chose to do on-campus programme. You only chose the Higher Educational Institution of National Importance like an IIM or a global MNC to study or work. When you selected this option you have consciously or subconsciously agreed to yourself for the following:-

 

(1)    I am a person who believe in ‘Experiential Learning’ for making a life rather than just acquiring education or using my limited knowledge and skills for making my living.

 

(2)    I want to experience all kinds of weather, the extremes of climates, live through the life of everyone at every part of the world, and learn out of my experiences. I want to become a seasoned person who can withstand any condition and an all-weather human being.

 

(3)    I want to live with people of all kinds of culture, religions, faiths, beliefs, languages, from all over the world, adapt and adjust with them, make genuine and life-long friendships with my unconditional care for them. I want to grind the sharp corners and blade edges of my personality traits to live under any social condition.

 

(4)    I want to eat whatever food that is available in the place I live and become not a slave of the food. Food should not limit my journey towards meeting my goals, dreams, and ambitions. Food is just a survival and health need and I want to make my body adaptable to any natural or man-made food available anywhere on this earth.

 

(5)    I will wear any clothing that is available at that place to protect my body from climate conditions so that my mind can continue to keep focus on the target.

 

(6)    I want to learn as many languages as possible in the world so that I can converse with any citizen of the world in their native language.

 

(7)    I want to face all kinds of life-threatening situations that nature exposes me in a natural way all by myself so that I can become physically and mentally strong to live all alone at any part of this earth at any age.

 

(8)    I want to acquire all global survival skills and become a global employee, global employer, global achiever, global citizen and go closer to an ideal human being.

 

Therefore, come out of the comfort zone, don’t disturb your parents and siblings, accept responsibility for your decision to move out of the home, agree to face the challenges for own growth, and my best wishes in your journey towards becoming the ideal human being and thank you for the first step in this direction!!

Peacefully yours… Dr. M. Ramasubramanian.

"Welcome to IIM. Shift to 5th gear. Be with the change. Don't resist. Look at bigger goal. Don't mind minor irritants!!"

 Dear first year students at IIM Kashipur!!...Congratulations for selecting a growing institution which has grown in the last two years from NIRF 33 to 23 to 19 now. We will continue to leap and grow.

Next three months will be hectic...as it is the adjustment/adaptation phase. You will experience tremendous stress. When stress increases immunity decreases. The climate is also changing from summer to rainy, humid and sweaty. So, increase your immunity with healthy eating, 05 minutes yoga or 05 minutes run...carry water and drink a lot....otherwise you will fall sick, miss classes and activities, lag behind and finally give-up...don't reach that state...so pull-up to 5th gear from the first day...all the best!!....Also allow the change to take place in your body and mind...don't resist...be with the flow...be with the change...look at the bigger goal...don't bother about the minor irritants....be devoted with single focus of learning, being outstanding, being unique and special!!

Yours peacefully...Dr M Ramasubramanian, CAO.

"The need for self-actualization increases as it is fulfilled!!"

 Life is a journey of adventure, with continuous evolving through learning, experience, exploring (the entire earth and world), excelling over a lifetime without limits, and enjoying the process of success as the need for self-actualization increases as it is fulfilled!!

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!

“Sir, why human beings get attracted to other human beings?"

 

Qn. “Sir, why human beings get attracted to other human beings?...Why human beings are social animals?...Is it not possible to live all alone away from humanity?....What will happen if we live like that?...Are Relationships and Friendships important?” 

Ans: The driving force behind any human life is NEED. Which are those?...Clearly brought out by Maslow. It is a proven and accepted theory. There are 5 needs. Physiological needs, safety needs, love and belonging needs, esteem needs, and self-actualization needs. If you see these needs, you will notice that all of them are associated with human beings. So, it is not possible to achieve them without socialisation without the Friendships and default Relationships. So, direct interaction with human beings is inevitable for good physical and mental well-being. Social well-being is another fulcrum and backbone of good health. The entire social dynamics depends upon trying to achieve these needs through other human beings. The brain keeps making its strategies to achieve these hierarchical needs one by one while retaining the achieved lower-level needs. Losing any lower-level needs is a traumatic condition and it affects all the three domains of health. Losing any relationship/friendship with greater perceived or reality need satiation is also a traumatic situation. What happens inside the brain related to the Relationships/Friendships is another big Universe of mind-boggling biochemical reactions and neuron activities leading to cognitive, affective, and behavioural processes. So, it is an amazing area of research in all spheres around the brain. 

So, it is very clear from the above that friendships and relationships are natural, fundamental, and the lifeline of life and living. No one can be physically, mentally, and socially healthy without them and it is not possible to achieve the Needs defined by Maslow without socialisation. Most of the health issues can be related to relationships.   The longest ever research on human beings conducted on earth by Harvard also says that “Positive relationships keep us happier, healthier and help us live longer. Period!”.

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!

 

 

"Sir, it has become difficult to get a job and retain the job for a life time!!"

 Qn. "Sir, it has become difficult to get a job and retain the job for a life time!!"

Ans: Yes. The reasons are follows: -

1. The fast technology development is changing the machineries, products and processes very fast. The life cycles are reducing drastically. The R & D has to be fast. The money invested has to be taken back with profits fast. Continuous upgrades and changes in Technology which is getting complicated day by day requiring high intelligence to create, operate and maintain poses new challenges every day for organisations, market and employees. These things have effects on lifestyle, culture, economy, definition of life and day-to-day living. The rate of change is so fast but the change in the mindset of people to adapt, adjust and change in health enhancing ways is too slow, i.e cultural change is too slow, creating a gap and increasing the physical, mental and social stress levels at home, office and social settings.

2. Continuous training, upskilling, re-skilling, learning the latest, undergoing an experience, are important. When the new skill required demands a low or average intelligence, many people acquire that knowledge and skill by doing a course or undergoing the training required and in a short time the supply become more than the demand. Then that new skill becomes a generic skill in the job market and loses the value of being a Special Skill.

3. In today's technology driven world generic skills can fetch only a blue collar job and of course, blue collar jobs will remain for a long time as AI may not replace all the blue collar jobs. Specialist Skills and experience/high competencies in these special skills and being current are important to get white collar jobs either at the Intelligent-worker level or managerial level. When the special requires only average intelligence and easily affordable then many acquire it fast and it becomes short-lived-special-skill and turns into a generic skill, loosing it's employment value. If acquiring the special skill requires high intelligence and not easily affordable then only few acquire it and it remains a special skill of high demand in the job market for a longer time, at least till the completion of the life cycle of the product or process. It may get highly paid also. If someone joins an organization where that skill is required for the KRA functions then you might be in the lime-light/attention, paid highest, get promotions faster, get all kinds of those good oppurtunities of travel, learning, being the boss, bla bla.

4. Therefore.....(a) Understand that INTELLIGENCE REVOLUTION is going on. Undertake health enhancing lifestyle changes, training, learning etc required to increase the intelligence. (b) Get married to people with high intelligence, high morals-values-ethics, high health enhancing lifestyle, good-human characteristics, who want a family and ready to undertake the responsibilities associated with spouse, children and family life, and has the interest, need for family, time, energy, emotions, efforts to rear a responsible human-citizen for the world. (c) Be conscious and closely monitoring for the changes in the skills required on the job, predict the future requirements, learn them and be the first person to learn and meet the demand before it arises. (d) Find out the skills on high demand in the job market continuously, and acquire them to be the KRA employee all the time.

If you do the above you will easily get jobs even during recession times and will never lose your job.

All the best!!

Peacefully yours....Rams....Psychologist!!

"Sir, what is Life?"

Qn. What is Life?

Ans. Many answers can be given. But in summary i feel it is a process of creation of Learning, Memories and Experience!!

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!

"Sir, i am an IIT and IIM product, unmarried, working for MNC. Why i am not able to live a happy, average family life like any other average girl?

                Qn. “Sir I am a girl of thirty plus. An IIT and IIM product. Worked and working for an MNC. Unmarried. Why I am not able to live a normal family life like any other average girl?...Why I am suffering like this inspite of being intelligent, smart and good at everything?”

Ans: The answers are like this….

1.       To live a family life like any other average girl in our society you don’t need high intelligence. You just need average intelligence with the basic natural instincts like any other average girl or living organism.

 

2.       You have a body which is similar to that of an average girl which wants a reproductive, rearing based family life and that is what is driving your brain, when the hormonal secretions are overpowering or dominating, to create thoughts, emotions and behaviours, with wants, needs and expectations to live a normal, average, family life. During these times you will get convinced that living a normal family is what is success in life, contentment in life, fulfilment in life, satisfaction in life. You will feel that all thoughts, decisions, convictions revolving around this kind of family centric life is correct, true etc and career centric life is wrong, false.

 

3.       When your body is not dominating, when it is calm, cool etc the mind is free, dominant and acting as per the intelligence and it’s thirst and hunger, as per its urges and cravings, as per it’s want and needs, as per its dreams, passion, goals, aims, destiny, as per the dominant personality factors…at this time the mind is thinking about achievements, power, authority, being in the lime-light, appreciation, becoming global icon, identity and image, adventure, travel, meeting people of different cultures, experiencing different kinds of life people live at different places,  etc. At this time your mind says this is right, correct and this is what will give you sense of contentment, fulfilment, achievement, success, meaning of life etc…This is because of the high IQ and the Type A personality traits.

 

4.       So, you are being pulled in both directions…you are stressed…you are confused…you are not knowing what is right and correct. In general parents of our society are family centric…only family centric…as our society is behind money, wealth, marriage, family, social status through these…our parents send children to colleges to become capable of money and wealth makers…to increase their value in the matrimonial market….these parents obviously do not know what the high IQ does inside the brain, and they will brain wash you supporting your body….the society around consisting of relatives, friends etc also belong to such families and so will talk like the parents only. But your IQ and personality traits only remain on your side making you different from others and telling you to be yourself and unique. Some give up this fight, sacrifice their dreams, and finally accept someone as their life partner, as per their parents’ wish making compromises and sacrifices, marry, and make adjustments and live. Some marriages are successful, some appear to be successful externally, and some are failures.

 

5.       Some people leave both the career and family life and join ashrams and spiritual communities.

 

Now, the solution, the answer…as to what is right?

 

Taking only one life, that is only family life, or only career life, or only spiritual life is wrong. We have a body with various functional systems and if they don’t do their task then we land up with diseases of those systems or organs. So, allowing the body to live the reproductive family life for which it has been designed, evolved, and created is unavoidable. You have a high IQ which has created a purpose, meaning to life, to be different, with a clear destiny to serve the humanity at a higher dimension of questioning the nature and finding solutions at humanity and global level and find solutions to problems. Therefore, self-actualisation at higher IQ level can not be kept away to keep the mind without disorders. Understanding the life as a whole in the right way that gives a good physical, mental and social wellbeing, lots of peace, no stress, pitching the life goals at humanity and global perspectives and this is what is all about a spiritual living and not living away from finding scientific solutions of population explosion, depleting resources, increasing diseases and disorders, resultant problems in administration and management of organisations, societies, states and countries etc. If high IQ people remain away from this who else will find methodical solutions for humanity?

 

Therefore, wait to find a proper match for your personality traits, dreams, the part of career which affects your daily living and life etc and get married. Modify your day to day living in family life to suit your career goals and understand the whole life in a way that is not stressful and live a peaceful, happy, healthy, successful, contented, fulfilled, and self-actualized life.

Peacefully yours....Rams....https://in.linkedin.com/in/mramasubramanian1

"Sir, why the present time is called a "stress millennium?. Why the life now is highly stressful?"

 Dear all,

Present millennium is called a Stress-Millennium and the life now is stressful because of several reasons. Some of them are as below:-

(i) When population increases, the resources for survival are not sufficient. The demand increases but the supply is not at the same rate as that of the increase of population. The resources should be affordable. To increase the affordability people tend to increase their income. There is a competition amongst the people to fight for the scarce resources. Survival of the fittest principle is applicable. The fittest only survive. So, everyone strives to be the fittest. The competition is increasing with the increasing population. Everyone is not able to cope up. Therefore, there is a stress.

(ii) Technology is booming. Every moment there are new developments and changes. Everything becomes old and obsolete overnight. Life cycles of products and services are too short that before they finish their life, they become obsolete as new products and services replace them from the market. So, organisations are competing for their survival in the market. They want employees who can make the difference. So, lack of job security, uncertainty of day to day living and life, need to work for long hours day and night, the anxiety involved in all these causes stress. 

(iii) People try to manage the stress through a health compromising lifestyle e.g stress-busting through eating, drinking health compromising liquids, smoking etc. When they try to manage the stress through PLEASURES, which are body related, they land up with health impairment, diseases of the body, disorders of the mind, and strained relationships with break-up, divorce etc. 

(iv) Countries want to improve their economy at any cost. There is a competition between the countries to become economic super power. Universal human values are forgotten in the run for supremacy or grab the oppurtunity or being one-up than others in the competition. They want the humans to aspire for more and more materialistic things so that there is a good money flow. They make them addicts to products and services through addictive chemicals, more comforts, wrong social perceptions etc i.e unethical practices. All sorts of pollution to earth, water, air, environment, body, mind, relationships etc and damages to all living and non living occurs. Life and day to day living becomes totally materialistic. Capitalism is followed. Everyone becomes selfish and does not care for the other. Organisations also do not follow universal human values, they are highly competitive and materialistic. There is no welfare orientation. This leads to anxiety and survival of the fittest at all levels from individual to societies to states to countries. So, stress is everywhere. Diseases and disorders increase phenomenally. Social relationships get damaged with increased divorce. Family system breaks and society fails. 

So, what to do? How to live healthily and peacefully? How to retain the nucleus of a society, country and the world intact i.e how to keep the Family system intact?

If we understand the life and living in the right/correct perspective, follow cognitive and behaviour therapy methods, and live a life of health enhancing life style with stress busting methods of correct healthy eating, adequate sleep, exercises for the body, mind and relationships etc then we can avoid the physical, mental and social stresses to a great extent, rather than busting the stress after getting it. Stress avoidance is better than stress control, stress-busting etc. 

Peacefully yours....Rams...Psychologist.

"Sir, what is Love?"

 Dear all....especially the parents and teachers,

Knowing and understanding 'what is Love?' is very important so that we can practice in our lives and more importantly we can teach our children and students about it so that they learn it correctly from us or otherwise they will learn it from peers who are equally ignorant and confused or they will learn from the movies which is all about only 'attraction for natural reproductive needs'.

"Love is not getting attracted to people, especially of opposite sex, or reproductive acts...it's not love making...or activities generally described as love making are not related to love...love means 'caring and supporting unconditionally'. 

Caring means caring for the body, mind, and the relationships of the other person. 

Supporting means supporting the other person for his or her complete intellectual and skill development to the full potential and capability, supporting the other person to achieve his or her dreams, passion, aims, and life goals. 

Unconditionally means without any expectations, without looking for any returns, without any vested interests, without any direct or indirect demands, without any wants or need satiation. Caring and supporting as a true service the way all the trillions of plant and animal life / living organisms live on this earth. We are just one among the trillions. 

This is what is called Love. Please teach this to all students and to your children. 

Getting attracted to people is not love. It happens for satiation of our physical, mental, social and procreation needs or wants. Needs are those basic necessities required for survival and existance. Wants are those which will give comforts for our day today living. 

Peacefully yours...rams...Psychologist!!