"Sir, why i am not able to become like Thomas Alva Edison or Einstein?"

 One Question....One Answer....

Qn. "Sir, why i am not able to become like Thomas Alva Edison or Einstein?"

Ans: 

Those who study just before the exam night might pass the exam, and degree course after many arrears, if they are much below the intelligence required for that course/subjects. They will get the degree and become qualified in the matrimonial market to get married and live a traditional financial dependent life. 

Those who have very average intelligence and read just for an hour or so before the exam might get a job for 10K or so per month and might pull the life with lots of hardship and agony and share whatsapp status messages like 'life is full of sorrows'!!

Those who have intelligence, but do not touch the book at all, or those who have very low intelligence, but work hard to study and get a job, might get 15K (arts and science courses) or 25K (engg students) and might just be able to buy their dresses or ice creams of pizzas of their choice and put them in whatsapp status or fb stories!!

Those who have high intelligence and put in average hardwork ....and those with average intelligence and put in good hard work....might get 50K to 1 lakh per month and might be able to buy their bike or car or dream dresses or iphone and put their hifi travel and tourism pics and videos in whatsapp status!!

Those who have average intelligence, put in the ultimate hard work with higer life time dreams might land up in IITs or NITs or IIMs or best of the dream jobs in India or equivalent jobs or institutions abroad and put up whatsapp status like me!!

Those with average intelligence but totally dedicate their entire life for sciences, engg, arts, or subject or areas of knowledge and skill....keep sharpening their intelligence...those who eat their goals, breath their dreams, sleep in their passion....24x7....they will not do any compromises and sacrifices that will change their focus or make them not to achieve their dream destinations or heights....will become little celebrities, nationally and globally known for some time!!...They will self actualise, live a fulfilled life...!!!....If they understand the meaning of life properly, live a health enhancing life, then they might even be contented, happy and successful in their family and social life too!! 

Those with very high intelligence and live in a totally different world, deeply immersed in their brain urges, knowledge and wisdom cravings, passion, dreams, goals, inner drives, soul searching areas of interest that lasts for their entire life, their , and feel that they are born for that....their life is that...actually they mentally don't live on this earth....with families and social environment....but live with those worldly things that will fuel their fire...etc will become an Einstein or Edison or Buddha or Swami Vivekananda or Thiru Valluvar etc!!

So, decide who you are and what you are, live the way you want/like, and reach wherever you can and are destined!!

Peacefully yours...Dr. Prof. Captain (IN). M. Ramasubramanian, IIM.

"sir, i am a young employee in an organisation. Whenever i attend a meeting involving managers of all the verticals and Heads of Departments and sections, i found every one is in disagreement with each other and fight. Why sir?"

 Dear all,

One Question....One Answer....

Qn. "sir, i am a young employee in an organisation. Whenever i attend a meeting involving managers of all the verticals and Heads of Departments and sections, i found every one is in disagreement with each other and fight all the time. Why sir?...They are all supposed to be matured seniors and role models for young juniors like us!!"

Ans: Generally, most of the bosses are Type A personalities. Only those who are self driven, hard working, impatient, aggressive, fast talking, determined to succeed, can't accept failures, competitive, ambitious, organised, focused on work, spend long hours of work forgetting other issues of life, become bosses or rise up in the hierarchical ladder. 

They have a strict career orientation of life. 

Their thoughts and internal processes have a tendency to multitask, feel impatient or irritated when delayed, feel stressed when faced with delays or other challenges that affect their success, focus on concrete ideas and the immediate tasks at hand and do not like wasting time, do not take breaks, keep criticising themselves when they have to leave something undone or feel they did not do a good job.

 They are Zero Error Syndrome People. They can not accept errors, deviations and shortfalls in productivity/performance and quality. 

Many of them would not hesitate to do anything under the sky to get their dreams or goals fulfilled. Family, friends, etc become secondary for them. 

Another thing is, if they perceive others as their competitors or having common goals, then they are most likely to pick up arguments, fights with such people. They may not agree to their rivals. Mostly they perceive the HODs in horizontals as their competitors. This is the reason for their disagreements and fights. 

One advantage is that there will be no secrets. Everyone will abuse the other and all secrets of each other and everything put under the carpet would become public. 

Therefore, it is their basic, natural, inborn personality trait which is difficult to change. This also leads to personality oriented diseases of the body, disorders of the mind and social issues in family, organisational and social life. 

If both husband and wife are Type A personalities, then you can imagine the situation at home. Imgine if their children are also Type A, which is most likely!!

Top Bosses can use this trait strategically to gain advantages for the organisation by playing around with the Type A people in forming teams or committees etc. 

So, learn how to be a Type A, without those negatives!!

Mothers have to check out if their children are Type A and accordingly groom a lifestyle and habits that would ensure that they don't get the Type A personlity diseases, disorders and issues in family, marital and social life!!

Lovers, Wives and husbands have to check out if they are Type A and accordingly practice therapies, unlearn the negatives and learn positives.

Type As are likely to indulge in health compromising stress bursting methods like smoking, drinking, using addictive chemicals, and unethical sex etc. They mostly learn these during the vulnerable window of life i.e adolescent stage at schools and colleges, initially for peer group acceptance and in later years for stress bursting. 

Mothers and fathers can play a key role in averting this by being role model parents by having a lifestyle which they expect their children to have. They can also use Cognitive and Behaviour Therapy, CBT, methods to their children to keep health enhancing life style as their breathe of life!!...CBT very much includes all that practiced in spiritual places!!

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!! 

"sir, i get angry with my girlfriend everyday and start shouting and abusing.....what to do?"

Dear all,

One Question...One Answer...

Qn. "Sir, i get angry with my girlfriend every day and start shouting and abusing...what to do?"

Ans: Not only you, most of us do this. Not only with girlfriend, we do this with all the relationships we have. Almost all the relationships break. This is because our FOCUS is 'our needs, wants and expectations from that person'. Our love depends on what the person can give, whether the person can give what we need or not and the level of satiation of our needs.

Instead, if we shift our focus to 'the relationship...the person who he or she is...the importance of that relationship in our life, the importance of the person in our life, how much the person or the relationship matters in our life...then the situation can be better. Instead of looking at the instantaneous needs, we may look at the long term gain in peace and happiness through the person and the relationship.

Hope this helps...

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!

"Sir, what is there in Salary?...Is money everything in life?...Why so much of fuss and importance to salary??"

Dear all,

One Question...One Answer...

Qn. "Sir, i am in the final year of an elite engineering college. I have got a job offer for 25000/- per month in a MNC. Some of my classmates have got job offers like Rs.1,00,000/- plus per month. I am feeling low about this. Everyone is creating so much of fuss about the salary. Though the CGPA difference between us is not much, but there is a big difference in the salary. Why like this? Why everyone feels 'woww' about the high salaried person?...Is money everything in life?...I am depressed!!'

Ans: I can understand your situation. Don't worry. You can also get such salaries shortly. I will tell you the technique.

Salary shows the value of the knowledge, potential or talent elements, personality attributes, skills sets, experience, capacity, competency levels etc the person has which is in high demand in the job market. Some skills are on high demand but low value, so are paid less. Some skills are on high demand but of very high value, so are paid more.

So, do the following, you will also get such high salaried jobs:-

(1) List down all the professional knowledge, skills/talent elements, competency levels in these, personality attributes etc that you have.

(2) Also, list your interests and likes where you can lose yourself, involve and enjoy working, forgetting about the time, hunger, sleep etc

(3) List down the skills on high demand in the job market and highly paid. Identify those skills which interest you and you can lose yourself in doing those jobs. Acquire high competency levels in these, if you don't have.

(4) Match all the three above and identify the things you have and need to grow to get those high salaried jobs.

(5) Identify those organisations which have these as their Key Result Areas (KRAs).

(6) Apply to all these organisations, you will get selected in one or more.

(7) Even if it takes an year or more, do it. You might overtake your classmate in an year or two or few years, because many do not have the endurance to work hard, and continuously upskill and reskill. If you do it for three decades, you will find you are growing continuously and reach far greater heights than all your classmates in all aspects of wealth, knowledge, wisdom, education, good health, fame etc.

No one lives here till 100 years. No one earns for life long. So, starting salary does not matter really. Starting speed does not matter in a marathon. Life is a marathon. So, run moderately in the profession and keep running while keeping good health. You will reach heights which no one can reach!!

Peacefully yours...Rams....Psychologist!!

"Plan quietly....work silently....Let the success create the roar!!"

 "Plan quietly....work silently....Let the success create the roar!!"

                -----  Dr. Prof. Captain. M. Ramasubramanian

"Those who know how to think Positively need no Teachers, Gurus and Gods"...Sir, Why do you think that Gurus and Gods are not required?

 Hai all,

One Question....One Answer....

Qn. Sir, today is Teachers Day. You have put in your status the following lines:- 

"Those who know how to think Positively need no Teachers, Gurus and Gods"

Why do you think that Gurus and Gods are not required?

Ans: For thinking, we should have had the freedom to think, express our feelings, opinions, thoughts, perceptions, rights, wrongs, correct, incorrect that appear in our minds, the confusions, the right social environment to discuss all these and learn through these processes...at our home, schools and colleges. (Organisations want us to think so i have not included organisations here). At other places we are told to 'just follow'... 'obey'....'copy'.... 'memorise'...'keep quiet'...'don't talk'...'talking and asking questions is disobedience'....thinking is a bad habit... We are ordered to fear at parents... teachers... gods... educated... learned...police...elders...gurus....and we are scared at everything and everyone. There is no Love. We are not taught how to love and express our gratitude or feelings of love. These always create a distance and wall between us and all these significant people of our lives. All the time we are worried. We don't like all these, as we are not created to be like this by Nature. Sixth sense is Natural and makes us to think!!...But we are told to shut down this natural instinct. We never learn the correct meaning of love and how to love. We learn to hate. We are taught to hate. We are taught to worry and always look for something or someone to lean-on. We are made parasitic. This is our culture here!!

Even some religious perceptions and preachings are like this. Master-Slave, Boss-subordinate, Leader-follower are primitive concepts created by egoistic Type A personality men....rulers...which are still existing here. So, insecurity rules all the minds. In this environment they are not strong, mind is weak, no self confidence....so, they look for someone to think for them...make decisions for them...to decide their actions...to decide their life....to decide their destiny...show the way...the path.....to be peaceful....to be happy....to be confident.....to be successful....to live...to exist....!!...So, everyone thinks that he or she needs a teacher...guru...god etc. They think it is impossible to live without these two. They can't imagine being peaceful without these two. They wonder how is it possible for anyone to be alive without these two. But there are many who are successful in family life without these two. Successful in profession without these two. There are many good human beings without these two. We can always end up in a never ending arguments whether these two are required or not, exist or not etc. 

On the contrary, if we are taught to think, encouraged to express, discuss, ask questions, learn from Nature, groomed in our observation skills, if our parents were good role models and taught us how to love, how not to hate, how to make life long friendships, how to face the challenges of life, if our parents, close relatives and teachers had been our good mentors, guides, coaches on life skills, professional skills etc, if they themselves knew all these, if they themselves were not requiring a guru or god, then we would have been self learners, got lot of wisdom through experience of self and others, that we are confident to plan our future, we are confident to decide our destiny, we are confident good decision makers, good leaders and managers. We would not be dumb and brain dead slaves in organisations, at homes and social environments.  We would have learnt positives and stored positive mental structures to think and make positive perceptions about everything and everyone!!

We would not have become mind-blinded that we need some guru to show the path...or god to give us self-confidence and lean-on!!

All those who have got the above have become gurus...and all those who did not get became the followers. 

Of course, i do agree that our body and brain may not be healthy all the time for entire life. There will be times of physical health impairment, depressive feelings and thoughts, weak mind, low self-confidence etc. But they will not occur frequently and their impact may not make us totally shattered. We will be able to recover back quickly through our health enhancing behaviours, habits and life pursuits, wisdom and positive thinking friends around. All those around us which/who teach us, keep us physically, mentally and socially healthy become our teachers, gurus and gods!!...There is no need of seperate gurus to teach about life and gods to give us confidence. We create our own destiny through our deeds. 

Sadly, everyone is not born with good, healthy brain. There are many who are born with deficiencies in body and brain. Both high intelligence and low intelligence are abnormal intelligence and such people need support to live peacefully, happily, healthily and be successful in all domains of life. So, many have impairments and need support whenever they go down or every day or every moment or for life long. For them, we need gurus and gods to lean-on, to feel confident, to be obsessed with, and to face the challenges of life. Impairments can happen before birth, after birth, due to diseases, traumatic life experiences etc. So, anyone may need a guru or god anytime in life. Therefore, it is all circumstances in life whether we can boast of being strong or become weak. 

Hence, as long as a person is able to remain physically, mentally and socially healthy, able to think positively, groomed and mentored towards becoming an ideal human being, he or she does not need a guru or god!!

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!