Some questions to god about 'LOVE'?

Hai all...most of the problems that come to me for resolving are related to 'LOVE'...so here are some questions that came to my mind...QUESTIONS TO GOD...(laughs)...

Hey god...NATURE god...please think properly, if you have brain, and answer my questions below...
Love....why did you give this feeling to human beings?....

if you say you have given this for only procreation (i.e reproduction...so that life continues on earth) like you have given for other animals then human beings should experience only those types of loves which animals also experience (love between parents and children till the children become adults and independent and love feeling that brings sexual attraction between opposite sexes...these are the two types of loves animals experience for reproduction and grooming off springs)...why human beings experience more than these two types of loves?...(siblings, friends, relatives, love experiences beyond reproduction and grooming needs, love without expectations, love beyond death, loving all living and non living...woff, the list is endless!!!)
If your aim is only procreation then you should have only given the animal type of love feeling to human beings...i.e loving anyone and every one for procreation...why you did not give like that?...human beings are not able to love every one for procreation!!...many are able to experience this type of love with just only one person in life time, or only one person at a time, or may be just two and certainly not in an unlimited manner the way animals do (without any physical and mental health problems). They are not attracted to all people of opposite sex that way. It is not just the physical appearance or age...it depends on how they feel about the other person in their mind.

By giving the SIXTH SENSE you have created the 'SEX'TH SENSE too and made every one's life miserable!!

1. one person loves but the other person does not experience SAME TYPE of love and SAME EXTENT of love all the time in the life cycle of both concerned. Even if the love does not have the component of sex both suffer or one suffers.

2. one person loves but the other person does not love. Here one person suffers. Other person also might suffer if the love of other person affects this person.

3. human beings experience obsessive and addictive loves too.

Effectively, for a defined number of human beings on earth, there are 'n' number of loves!!!...this has messed up the lives of human beings!

Above all this you have given POSSESSIVENESS too which is contradictory to your aim of variance between two different human beings.

Tell me, why did you create all this messssss?

You could have created human beings also like animals. Why are you creating and killing them while being alive?

Tell me, how many more variations (problems) you are going to introduce in your 'evolution experiment' and screw up the lives of all of us here?

Enough is enough boss!!!...you only created all this mess and now, you only solve the problems too!
Now tell me how are you going to solve this problem??

how are you going to make one person to fall in love with another (only one) who also loves with same type and same extent for life long?

i think this will solve the problem to an extent!


But how are you going to do this????

(don't talk all the bulls to me saying 'how family will form, how societies will form, how cultures will form etc, OK!!!...solve this fundamental problem which is making every one 'mental' health patients here...after that let us go to the next level of families, societies, cultures etc!)

rams

What matters the most...'Mind of the lover girl' or 'the words of the lover boy'?

Hai all....What matters the most...'MIND of the lover girl'? or the 'WORDS of the lover boy'?

when two people love each other mostly the boy has all the words of praise for the girl...but does she respond positively for all his praises all the time? 

if we observe anything, it becomes Beautiful or Correct or Pleasant or Acceptable (BCPA) ONLY IF OUR MIND MATCHES WITH IT IN FEELINGS, MOODS, EMOTIONS AND THOUGHTS  (FMET). So, mind is the first and foremost. If it is not in the matching FMET then the BCPA is not realised. Also the mind has to be Happy, Peaceful, Silent, at Rest and Vacant (HPSRV). Only then it can perceive BCPA.Otherwise not!!

Therefore, mind is the first and foremost and has to be happy, peaceful, silent, at rest and vacant with matching feelings, moods, emotions and thoughts. Only then the beauty or correctness or pleasantness or acceptability of a person or any thing can be perceived by the mind.

Therefore the realisation of beauty or correctness or acceptability of a person or a thing is not in that person or the thing...it is only in mind of the person observing it!!!

for e.g read these romantic phrases which are generally used by any one who is in love....and then read the analysis at the bottom...

'I love you daa!' 'I miss you a lot maa!' 'I miss your hugs and kisses'

'hmmm...i want to see you!'  'I feel like i want to hear your melodious sweet voice!'  'You are very beautiful!'  'You are a sweet personality!'  'A feeling of happiness and peace flows in me when i think about you!'  'You are the ultimate beauty for me!'  'You are the best gift of god to me!' 'I don't need any one or anything in my life other than you!' 'I like both your beauty and personality!' 'Your eyes are too beautiful and expressive!' 'You are the most charming beauty under the sky!' 'Your cheeks are like apples!' 'Your lips are too tasty like 'honey-oranges'!'  'you have a great figure!' 'The road sign boards like 'Dangerous Curves ahead, Go slow!' 'Don't speed up at curves!' etc make sense only when i am with you!' 'You have cute and beautiful hips!' 'You have beautiful butts!' 'Your voice is great!' 'Your dance performance is fabulous!' 'You have a great sense of humour!'''

of course one can go on typing endlessly like this because lovers have not left anything to describe their lovers...

now, all these beautiful phrases make a meaning, bring in happiness and smiles on the face of the girl and make her respond positively only if her mind is peaceful, happy, silent, at rest, empty and she is in matching good moods, thoughts, feelings and emotions.

Otherwise all these words

1. have no meaning

2. will bring only anger and hate in the mind of the girl.

Therefore the words of the boy are not important and beautiful...it is the mind of the girl that matters to perceive the beauty of his words. feelings, emotions and thoughts!!!

Otherwise it is all waste!!!!!

so, take care in life!!

Keep rocking! 

rams

Is there any need to talk to your lover?

hai all...

when two people love each other in true sense without any need or expectations etc...i.e they love each other 'for what they are' and not 'what they can get from the other person'...then their minds are always connected in their thoughts and feelings...they don't have to talk or chat etc...one knows that the other person is always thinking about him/her in thoughts and feelings all the time wherever he or she is or what ever he or she is doing...they may not even know that they are connected, but people in love are connected always!...or the brain always allocates a separate sacred place and keeps processing the memories and thoughts about the other person...because we consciously make the brain to access and play the video of memories repeatedly...so,like google, it remembers what we like, what we frequently access, what we would like to think always and it keeps playing that in some corner of the brain....therefore, there is no need to send an interrupt signal to the other processor and check out if your lover is remembering you!

If you both love each other beyond needs, wants, expectations etc then you will ALWAYS love each other, you can not hate the other person ever and you will always process that person in feelings and thoughts irrespective of where you are, what you are doing and what ever may be your age or period of separation between both!!!

so, check out whom you keep thinking all the time without your knowledge...it means you love that person...hey..hey...it does not mean it is some love that leads to procreation behaviours...it only means you like that person a lot...it only means that the thought about that person is giving you happiness, peace, health, freedom, high self esteem etc. It only means you attach lots of value to that person in your life. It only means that you care about that person.It only means you can not think of your life without that person. The person could be of same sex or opposite sex.

keep rocking!!

rams

What is the problem here with people and their living?

Hai all...

when i observe the people here as to what all they do from morning to evening...i find that from rich to poor, from educated to uneducated, from people with power to people without power....all are running towards only money, wealth, cheating others, go to office to just be present or do the work that is given to them till the end of working hours, talk all crap about others, go to temples in anxiety with a big wish list to request gods to help them get all those, parents chasing the kids to study well so that their children are better than others and get more paid jobs, use the sixth sense only to cheat others and protect themselves from other cheaters around. They basically wake up, run for food, shelter, protect, reproduce, rear off springs, entertain and die. Animals also do exactly the same things.

Basically these human bodies live like animals. They don't live like human beings. So, no wonder they have all sorts of physical, mental and social health problems. An average indian starts feeling aged from forties and becomes a walking coffin or walking dead body after that.

Day to day living itself is such a BIG TASK here!...people are so worried about their basic day to day living like eating, coffee and what not...they don't raise above that...they are always in EXISTENTIAL PROBLEMS...but only when we raise above existential needs, we can blossom and expand....all they do is discuss about other people all the time or worry about existential problems!

mostly all of them only survive...some exist...very very few only live!!

if i apply the Maslow's here to 'groups of people' i think all the societies on an average are still at the first level only struggling for food, shelter and clothing. May be some minority societies have gone up to the security needs level. Therefore, no wonder they are still primitive which is well understood by the political and religious exploiters to loot.

I wish they grow to a level of using their sixth sense to think about everything under the sky, not blindly follow their so called leaders of all spheres like cattle, live like human beings, come out of superstitions and live a meaningful life!

keep rocking!

rams

Why our marriages do not survive IN THE REAL SENSE?

Hai all...

Though there are many families intact without divorces, are they really intact at the heart level without dependencies and fears?  A BIG NO!! Many ladies live in homes just for their kids, fears of social stigma etc and very rarely for the husband. They just carry out their DUTIES like a wood without emotions and are moving-coffins or alive-dead-bodies.

Why?????

because...in our marriages far too many factors are involved....

matching of religions, castes, sub castes, sects, language, region of living, cultural factors becomes the first filter...which filters the maximum prospective alliances...left are only a few.

Then comes the horrorscope matching....sorry....horoscope matching...this again removes the big chunk of girls/boys. Left overs are really a handful.

Then comes 'all the significant people' in the family has to agree...in big families there are many people who have to agree for the marriage...only then the next level of talks is progressed...

In this, every significant person of the family has his or her own agenda of gains or losses...so she or he agrees or disagrees depending on her share of financial or social or emotional or status gains.

If all agree, then comes the TALKS where 'business' deals are finalised (gold, silver, utensils, car, other house hold appliances, property, rituals, ceremonies, expenditures etc).

marriages are a 'convenient living transaction' for all those related to the boy and girl!!...we want to make sure everything else is more important than 'love' in our marriage system.

the biggest problem here is 'no one wants to have kids just because they want to have kids'  'for enjoying the pleasures of having and grooming a child and the emotional dynamics the kid brings in the family'. Here the funda'mental' reason for having a kid is 'for dependency', with expectations, selfish needs...an ulterior motive...all types of dependencies...financial, emotional, legal, social, physical, mental...therefore the kids are never free...they can never take their decisions on their own regarding anything in their life till the end of their lives!!...they are emotionally prisoned!!! 

Therefore, No one is bothered about the TWO people who are going to live together.
These 'cattle' are forced to select within the left overs available.
The girl or boy are told indirectly 'From tomorrow you will sleep with him or her and live with those people!!'.

It is presumed that 'love blooms out of sexual pleasure needs met'. Unfortunately the emotions which emanate out of nature driven feelings for procreation  and grooming of offsprings is perceived as love. This being a condition based i.e love exists if the needs are met, otherwise not, leads to a situation of 'emotional business' between the two. Here love behaviours are exhibited whenever one person wants physical touches or sex or whenever he or she perceives a threat to the 'emotional security'/possessiveness. Rarely this love that emanates out of sex evolves to liking a person for the overall personality traits and beyond.

Marriages are only a business where business is grown, wealth joins wealth, status joins status, friends join with friends, religion joins with religion, caste joins with caste, language joins with language!

The girl lives with and knows more about others than her husband. The boy and girl spend time for few minutes on bed or elsewhere performing their duties and responsibilities as 'husband' 'wife' 'father' 'mother' 'son' 'daughter' 'daughter-in-law' etc. The girl almost does not get and enjoy the togetherness, romance, love, sex, orgasm, friendship and soulmateship. Love being the fundamental one for good mental health and living which she does not get from husband and others, she starts giving to and taking it from children, animals around (dogs, cats, hens, cattle, birds etc ) and nature (like plants, trees, river, clouds, sun, moon, sky, stars etc). She lives in her fantasy world deriving pleasures in imagination.

Therefore, LOVE suffers between the two, deep somewhere, some time in life! They only become the bullocks pulling the family cart for children or family or society sake.There are walls between them. They are never real friends. Never  soul mates. They derive more happiness, pleasure and peace while being with their school or college friends. They would like to spend less time with their life mates. They don't have much to talk to their life mates.Others call it a successful family. They perceive them to be best couples with highest adaptability. They perceive them to be 'made-for-eachother' couple.

Our people or society calls them as SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGES, SUCCESSFUL FAMILIES and SUCCESSFUL COUPLE.

From the above we know what is important and where the corrections need to be applied in our marriage system to make it really meaningful and get a feeling of a life lived  in true sense.

keep rocking!!

rams

Atomic theory of RELATIONSHIPS!!

Hai all...

We all know that atom is the basic element of any matter. Yes....atom matters in our life too.
Human beings are social animals. They can not be alive without socialisation. Father, mother, brother, sister are default reltionships formed at the time of birth. As we grow all other relationships are formed.

There is a lot of dynamics between us and others around in our relationships. This dynamics affects our physical-mental-social health, happiness, peace and success either positively or negatively.

Now, how to handle the relationships????...if we know how to handle them then there is no problem in life.

Like atom is the basic element of matter, atom is the basic element of relationships too.

Husband and wife form the nucleus. One can be positive like proton. It is better the other person remains neutral like a neutron so that the stability within the nucleus is maintained. Who is proton and Who is Neutron keeps changing depending on situations. This philosophy could be extended to lovers also. 

 

Let the bonding between the couple be as strong as a real nucleus. Let any one not enter the nucleus. Who ever it is. Because if any external particle can break the nucleus and enter in between the proton and neutron then the entire atom will explode. 

 

In a combined family system which still exists in a modified form or diluted form following people freely, authoritatively and emotionally enter the nucleus bringing in breakage of the family...

 

1. parents of the boy

2. parents of the girl

3. close relatives and friends of both boy and girl

 

They all have a sphere of influence on the couple. But it should not affect the intimacy and basic of EMOTIONAL FRIENDSHIP BONDAGE between them.

 

It is impossible for the husband or wife to meet all the emotional, financial, intellectual, professional, personal, social, mental and physical needs of the other all the time. So, there is a tendency to seek for the support outside the relationship or family for the deficient ones. It depends upon the priority or direness of the need. If it is body related then it is extremely difficult to contain the needs though there are so many methods available to decrease the need, suppress the need and divert the need or meet the need safely.

 

If it is mind related then it is easy to tackle using all the methods available. So, instead of two people inside the nucleus there are more than two at a time or at different times. There are many cases (divorced situations) where the nucleus contains only two people but they are different at different times. Therefore, it is a challenge to keep the nucleus safe!

 

The first orbit around the nucleus forms the 'children electrons'. They form the best and closest to the nucleus. They have more influence on the nucleus but should not be allowed to enter the intimacy and friendship between the husband and wife. 

 

All relatives, friends and others in office, social groups, society and outside remain in the outer orbits but within the atom. Let the electrons in the outer orbit not enter inner orbit or nucleus.

So, it depends on us as to how we form our nucleus, outer orbits and keep the atomic particles wherever they are supposed to be.

If we can do this then our life will all be Healthy, Happy, Peaceful and Successful (HHPS). Otherwise we will only be fighting the forces or elements that try to destabilize the atom which will not give us HHPS.

Keep rocking!!

rams

How two people of opposite sexes have to build up their relationship inside the social system called 'marriage'?

Hai all...

when two people of opposite sexes get married what they should do?

first they have to be best friends

then they will become best lovers

then automatically they will become best husband and wife

this will lead to they becoming best parents

all these will make them best soulmates for life time

if they are not best friends then they can not become best lovers...there will be some ifs and buts...

if they are not best friends and lovers then they can not become the best husband and wife as they can not make the best home environment....(as husband and wife are social statuses in a social system called 'home')

if they are not the best husband and wife then they can not become best parents!

if they are not best friends, best lovers, best husband and wife and best parents then they can never never and never become best soulmates!!!

rams

What is required for a relationship to last a life time with happines, peace and good physical-mental-social health?

Hai all...by default from the moment of birth we are involved in social relationship...before even being born we are involved in a relationship with the mother...after birth we have father, sister, brothers, relatives as default relationships...as we grow we get relationships like friends, lover, husband, wife, soul mate etc...i don't think any one wants any good relationship to break or go away...

all of us are human beings and we are social animals...without socialization we can not be happy, healthy and at peace. Therefore we want the good relationships to last a life time.

for any relationship to remain strong and lost for entire life time following conditions are required...all of them are within us and not outside...correcting ourselves is the most simplest and easiest thing and correcting others is the toughest thing...we always try to correct others, the toughest, and do not put in any effort to correct ourselves, which is the easiest...(because we think we are always right and others are wrong!!)...therefore our relationships suffer...

if the following conditions are not met then any relationship whether it is father, mother, wife, husband, lover, friend, relative, soul mate or any damn relationship on earth will break at some level or the other (few strings of bonding wire will get cut off) and at some time or the other in life...

1. there should be no expectation (more the expectation, less the happiness, peace and physical-mental-social health. Less the expectations, more of everything. Zero expectation means ABUNDANCE of everything!!)...you can take a paper, list down all the expectations, the length of list and importance you attach and the efforts involved in giving it by the other person will show you where you stand in that relationship...
2. there should be no exploitation
3. there should be no possessiveness
4. there should be no longing
5. the relationship should have only happiness and no sadness
6. it should be based on only GIVING and SERVICE and not TAKING
7. it should be beyond body needs and mind needs
8. there should be no perception of cheating
9. there should be no obsession
10. there should be no control and compulsion
11. one should breathe freedom in the relationship
12. one should feel heavenly while thinking about the person and the relationship
13. there should be no demands
14. the person in the relationship should radiate peace, happiness and good health to the other person and both should radiate the same to others around them.
15. one should help the other person in achieving all the physical, mental and social needs and wants of the other person i.e making the other person to achieve all the six needs of Maslow through own efforts
16. one should see father, mother, wife, husband, sister, brother, lover, soul mate, teacher, guide, mentor, philosopher and god in the other person.
17. both should become devotee of each other... like the relationship between Aandaal and Lord Krishna...she saw all types of relationships with Lord Krishna...for her it was only Lord Krishna for everything...she served him in temples, lived there, sang songs, chant mantras and died...but lives in the heart of every one and indian epics as a true example of DEVOTION and DEVOTEE.

if the above conditions exist then that relationship will remain strong through out the life as 'eternal love' or 'spiritual love'. Otherwise it will not exist long or exist only for society sake with some strings cut, some lose, some missing.

keep rocking!!

rams

What is the point in being a higly educated person and dieing young of heart attack?

Hai all...recently two young Professors whom i know died of heart attack.

there are many professors, scientists, engineers, top professionals and other achieved people. They have lots and lots of intelligence in the brain and put in lots and lots of knowledge into it. But put in all the muck inside the mouth, do not exercise, neglect the health and go out of shape and size adding diabetes, hyper tension and cardio vascular diseases and die young with heart attack. What is the use of all the intelligence and knowledge if they die young? all wasted!!

Body is the basement and brain is the home. What is the point in building a beautiful home with a weak basement body????????????

We need to think!!


rams

Why couples fight?...Why marriages fail?...Why no love in love marriagess?...Why no peace at home?

Hai all…why couples fight?...why peace goes off at home?...why success gets torn off for people?...why divorces take place?...Why many love marriages fail?

THE ONE LINE ANSWER IS ‘WE DON’T KNOW OR NOT SENSITISING OURSELVES ABOUT THE DYNAMICS IN OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH OUR SPOUSE AT DIFFERENT STAGES IN LIFE’

What are these stages?...they are as follows…(lecture…lecture…lecccccccccture…(laughing))

1.   Love period before marriage (whether arranged or love marriage)

2.   Life after marriage but before birth of children

3.   Life after birth of children but before children reach 13 years of age.

4.   Life when the children are in their teen age

5.   Life after all the children leave home for studies or marriage

The first step of peace and happiness starts once we understand that there are five different stages in life and the dynamics is different in each of these stages.

First stage….During this stage the two people meet each other. Get stormed by the beauty of the other person. They are floating in air. They admire and adore each other. Talk too much. Move around. Share many things. Adapt well as the attraction is toooo much and this masks the differences. Both are totally free. No responsibilities.They sing, dance, tour and discover that both are fun loving people.

Second stage…After marriage they start living separately or with parents. Issues like cooking, cleaning house, washing utensils, washing clothes and keeping in place, ironing, handling other people at home, cutting veggies, attending functions of each other’s relatives etc take away most of their time. Many do not like these routine, robotic house hold chores. Even if they like, get bored after some time. Male dominated culture does not allow man to do all the above. Nowadays some of the boys help their wives, good. There is no change in work times or office responsibilities before and after marriage. But it appears to the other person that the other person works more at office after marriage. So, frustrating and tiring house hold chores, who will do first, who will do what, I can’t do this, servant not there etc falls in between the romance and love dynamics between  the two. They feel life miserable. They also feel that the other person is no more a fun loving person, no singing, no dancing, person has changed, we got cheated, less outing, less involvment in everything etc.

Third stage….after the children are born the lady’s job increases exponentially compared to the man. She is required to spend more time in grooming, studies of children, social issues of children etc. Chirdren are generally glued to the moms or parents mostly. So, they take away more time and energy. If both of them are working and ambitious then further problems. If no help from parents then this adds fuel to the fire. Responsibilities at home and office tries to sink both and almost there is no time for fun, romance and family time.

These above two stages are the most stressful as both are new to the game, still young to have only fun and not ready to take responsibilities and chores of living and life, peak expectations from each other etc. When the expectations are not fulfilled, frustration starts, hate starts, they start abusing, fighting and the divorce papers are filed.

In love marriages the love starts first before the marraige, expectations are built up to mountain sizes, get married and when the ‘responsibilities’ of above two stages break their bones and brains not allowing to full fill each other’s expectations, they give up!!!

In arranged marriages love is expected to start after marriage. So, love starts growing with responsibilities in married life. The love spark, attraction and engulfing flame for each other makes them to adapt to the responsibilities and cooperate with each other in house chores. In some cases ifs and buts may be there, but the ship sails stable comparatively.

So, if lovers understand the dynamics above then even love marriages can be like arranged marriages.

If arranged marriages are love marriages too then nothing like it.

Fourth stage…the dynamics here is different…children have attained teen age…this is a stage when the children spend more time with friends as they need friends and not parents. They come to their parents only when they have needs. Handling the children, aspirations, competitions in education, adolescent behaviours etc also require the attention, time, coordinated effort and energy of both the spouse. When the children are in their teens the parents are nearly forty or above. Their professional demands / competitions are at peak as friends and juniors supercede now. Health problems crop up to both. So, again they feel the other person has changed and cheated.

Fifth stage…children get married and leave home…now the nest is empty. If the lady was uneducated or not interested in working and believed that life is only giving birth to children and grooming they she gets affected to the chore as there is no job to her now. She suddenly feels empty. Misses happiness out of giving love to children and getting love from children. Husband spends max time on work and comes very late. No love from husband too. Menopause issues for both. Fighting starts. Divorce or accept the life and go on. Further aging leads to further changes in interests, health issues, etc. To reduce the length of the mail  I stop here.

So, the crux is….

1.   We need to understand the dynamics during each stage. This solves 50% problems.

2.   It is not the person changes. It is the dynamics in each stage makes the person to perform to that changed stage.Careful planning, talking to find suitable solutions, seeking help of elders can keep their fun, romance flame burning and finding time for each other throughout their life.Saves marriages. Reduces divorces.

rams

phases of life...

Hai all...what is life?...attain age-meet the most beautiful-fall in love-get married-honey moon phase-children-problems-fights-settle down-pullon-die.
If we analyse life we can see these distinct phases with different demands from us...
1. love phase...i.e meeting some one and getting know the person...maximum adaptability takes place willingly and involuntarily during this phase.

2. marriage phase...this is just after marriage. Most of the time goes in discovery of each other. This is again the max adaptation phase.
3. Children in life...new people in life. Too many demands. Job demands remain the same but we spend more time on job. Girl is heavily loaded.Fights.
4. settling down...accepting the situation.
5. children away...two old people live together. with ifs and buts.
6. one dies and the other remains...loneliness and death.

rams

Can marriages survive now if couple live the way their parents lived???

Hai all...

In olden days the relationship between husband and wife was based on dependency (food, shelter, dress, physical-legal-social-financial-emotional security, to meet physical and mental needs) on each other, expectations and possessiveness.

Dependency of this kind is closer to slavery, limiting the freedom of the individual.

Grooming a person to be totally dependent on others is a negative grooming.

This limits realisation of happiness and boundaries of relationship.

Expectations and possessiveness are obvious negative factors which affect strength of relationship, happiness and peace.

So, during the olden times, only those relationships which pitched the relationship between the two beyond these three negatives... i.e liking the person for just the personality traits sake, enjoyed the divine relationship, unlimited freedom and happiness.

Today the philosophy of child grooming is towards being independent.... i.e right from childhood children are groomed to look after their needs and wants by their own selves with minimal help from others and to become a self reliant with least expectations,  financially-socially and emotionally independent...this is the correct way of grooming. All the animals do the same, i.e they groom their children to live on their own...i.e catch their prey, protect themselves from enemies, make their own den etc.

If a husband and wife follow the old type of living under the present social conditions of independency and least expectations, then it is likely to fail.

The relationship sustains, remains pleasant and grows where the relationship is beyond these three factors i.e dependency, expectations and possessiveness.

So, let us start liking the people for what they are rather than the services and securities from them.

People, love and relationships cannot be bought or ordered and not available generously.

rams

'physical intimacy' is the basic need to have a good mental health!!!

hai all...hmmmmm...'physical intimacy' is the basic need to have a good mental health...every one at all ages longs for this...

new born wants the hugs and kisses of mom...a baby groomed without this can become an animal!!!
can a mom remain without hugging and kissing her new born for a day?

why only new born...a mom longs for hugs and kisses...for giving and taking...all throughout her life!!...one hug and a kiss makes her day and life!!...it vapourises all hot words and behaviours on her!!

father wants a hug...he feels miserable without giving a hug to others in the house!

wife wants a hug...husband wants a hug...just a cute behaviour to indicate 'like' and 'love'...to say 'i am there for you!'

 no husband and a wife can have a good relationship and a happy life without a hug or a kiss between them!!

All moms give the first hug to their baby by keeping the little flesh on their chest...the first learning for a child....which makes the organism to run, search and long for that space all through out its life even after reaching 90s.

Just see how frustrated a lover is without a hug or a kiss!!

without a hug or kiss, whether in reality or fantasies, a human being is a bud...it flowers with a physical intimacy!!!

a hug and a kiss heals all mind related problems in a second!!!...any problem that any medicine can not cure!!

so, hug and kiss your loves ones...you go to heavens...taking the loved ones too!!...it increases the life of both.

rams

Are we really grown up, matured, educated, elderly and aged????

hai all...

normal children
are always happy
on their own do not fight with other children
they do only things that give them happiness
they want to be friendly with others
they forget the negatives of their friends
they forgive others
if their friend cries, they wipe the tears
some times they may not share their belongings
but in no time they change and share them with their friends
they radiate only love and happiness
others get happiness seeing and being with them
every one on earth likes children
they do not discriminate others saying your are a christian or hindu or muslim
they don't know about religions
they don't know about castes
they don't know upper class, middle class or lower class
when my daughter had leaky nose none of us cleaned it
our servant boy cleaned her nose without any hesitation
because for them only friendship matters
rich and poor does not matter
nothing matters to them
only love, friendship and people matter to them

We say we are grown up, matured, educated, elderly, aged etc
but we divide and discriminate
we pollute the minds of children with all this crap and garbage
in the name of teaching them good, survival skills, life skills etc
they stop radiating love, peace and happiness as they grow because of all these crap
they become weathered, rigid, unsocial, antisocial elements

Are we really grown up, matured, educated, elderly and aged????

are we grooming our children correctly?

we need to think!!!

rams

where is the happiness and joy?

Hai all...look at the photo below...there are many things to be learnt from this photo...of course, there are trillions of photos like this on net...but lesson is what is important!!

what makes them beautiful is not their youthfulness or usefulness...it is their childishness...no worries...no ego...no 'I' or 'me'...no feeling of i am better or i am superior or i am richer or i am greater or i am elder or i am more educated or i am more youthful or beautiful etc...no discrimination...doing only things that give them happiness...freedom of expression...being what they are...no possessiveness...no expectations...they do what they feel like...they are not bothered about what the other person does...what other person thinks...but still the relationship exists...still they love the others around in that envelope...because they have pitched the relationships beyond the usual dos and don'ts of society...the expectations from each other...they derive the happiness from within...through their own behaviours...they don't perceive others' behaviours as funny...they only perceive it to be joyful...hope they pitch their relationships like this in their personal life with their lovers and husbands too...beyond the expectations, needs, wants...just for 'what the other person is' in their lives...not on what they 'get' from the other person or what he gives!!!....happiness or peace or good physical, mental and social health or great relationships is just this...so simple!!!