what is the right perception regarding our work and organisation where we work?

hai all...

in this 'f' all indian culture our perception about anything and everything is wrong...so, we are unhappy, angry, frustrated etc...

we feel we should study well, get a good job, go at 9 and back at 5 and spend more fun time with people at home, go outing etc...we consider going to job is 'just to make money for living'...we feel we don't have any relationship other than getting salary....this is totally wrong perception...this can never give us success, happiness and good health...because we are not 'involved' our performance will always be low...we will not be liked by anyone...

the right perception is 'i am going to learn something new. The organisation has given me an oppurtunity to go there and learn every day something new!'..and for my learning they are giving me all the perks, salary etc, wow!!!'...this thinking will help us to do well on job, be happy, be healthy etc...try it out!...and this is the right perception...and during our learning process the organisation also gains, that is all!!

rams

What is ego?

hai all...ego...the biggest problem we face at home, office, society...every where!!

what is it?

"i am right"
"i am better than you"
"i am superior to you"
"my caste is better than yours"
"my religion is better than yours"

it goes on like this...basically the result of comparison...either consciously or subconsciously!

every one is born at different places, differently grown, face difference experiences in life...have different knowledge and skills...so, truely every one is incomparable...

what we do is we compare ourselves with others in one aspect...but in the other aspect (known or unknown to us) he will certainly be better than us...

to have a better family life, or social life or relationships or official life 'more than one trait' is required...no one can be happy or healthy or peaceful or in harmony with others or successful just with one trait at peaks. Many skills/traits are required to achieve these.

Once we compare, become egoistic, we will get all negative perceptions, emotions, behaviors and land up with sadness, fights, frustration, failures, losses etc. We lose the opportunity of new learning, lose a new person, new experience...may be opportunity of enlightenment too!

so, being egoistic is meaningless, wrong, put us in failure track, break relationships, depression, suicides and what not!!!

so let us 'go' the e'go'!!...

rams

With whom we will feel always happiness and with whom not? (your answer is wrong!!!)

hai all...

hmmm...human beings are amazing species. They have two things...1. mind 2. body...both have needs...this is the driving factor for all the relationships.

When we meet or think about a person (irrespective of gender), if there is a biological change (with or without our knowledge) in our body i.e functional change (increase of heart beat, breathlessness etc) or structural or physical change (change in secretions or shape and size) then we can not have a happy, healthy and satisfying relationship always with that person.

This is because there is known or unknown physical need and any physical need (water, air, food, reproductive need etc) is a survival need and therefore will make the organism feel sad, frustrated, angry, jealousy and demand or fight for the need directly or indirectly.

Whereas mental needs are not survival needs. So, if we have only mental need then we are likely to have a healthy and happy relationship with that person mostly.

so, check out if you undergo any physical change when you meet or think about a person. With that person you will not be always happy in a relationship.

rams

some of my view points or experiences...

hai all...

All Indians think that only ramayan and mahabharat have shown definition of life to hindus.

Do you think if these two were not there, our definitions would have become all hole hole??...do you think people in other nations without these are not knowing the definition of life???

More than the good, they have done many wrongs only to the 'perturbed perceptions' of our 'clouded minds'.

rapes in UP (the place where these two epics originated or flourished?...or the epicenter of these two bombs??) indicate that we enjoyed the undressing of draupathi more than the geetha upadesh of lord krishna!

the fights between brothers in families show that we learnt only fighting from these epics...

hmmmm...a long way to go for us to understand them properly!!

rams



hai all...

this world is very big...it has billions of people...every day we see heaps and heaps of human beings...

what we need to ask to ourselves is...

"Do i have at least one out of these with whom i can talk anything under the sky happily with an open mind, can sing, can dance with, can enjoy every moment of life?"

rams


 hai all...sorry...a different question here...

do you know how you will smell when your body burns in electric crematorium?

I had the rarest of the rare opportunity to smell by burning body in electric crematorium...

when there was a laser burning done on my skin!!!

what a bloody experience yaar!!

anyone wants to have it??? (smile)

rams ( i was lying on the bed with closed eyes...almost like a dead body...smelling the burning of a part of my body...imagining me inside the closed hot burning furnace of the crematorium...what a bloody bloody feeling it is...i am sure every one will come to mother earth if they have such an experience of fantasy!! (but most of the times we have only fantasies of first night with filmy heroines...what to do!!! (laughs))

 hai all....

"some can just be best friends...they can not become a good husband and wife!!!"

rams

What was/is wrong with the grooming of girls in our society?

hai all...IMPORTANT FOR PARENTS, BOYS AND GIRLS...

hai all...do you agree that SELF CONFIDENCE is the most important thing required to live on this earth?

the basic of life to be alive is ability to get food, water, air, protective clothes, shelter and ability to protect from threats (recently sex also got added...i.e reproductive need...procreation (not recreation!!)). One should be able to get all these by own self. One should not depend on others for any of these. If this ability is there, then SELF CONFIDENCE WILL EXIST. Otherwise the individual WILL NOT HAVE SELF CONFIDENCE. This can take any turn from living a slavery life to committing suicide.

Self confidence emanates and increases in us as we grow...develop...through gaining of:-

1. knowledge
2. life skills
3. professional skills
4. experience in life and profession

In the past, girls were not given this by our culture and society. They were only taught house hold chores. They were not given education to seek a decent employment.They were made dependent on husband, mother, father, brothers, in-laws (father in law, mother in law, brother in law, sister in law...and all such laws), relatives etc. It was convenient to the men as they felt she can not run away or has no scope for any act to go against the system or away from the family. Even the social justice or customs and traditions of the society was keeping the women submissive. So, they lacked self confidence.

They had only their body and knowledge, skills related to house chores only as the asset to get the basic needs fulfilled. They only had professional skills related to making of things of use at home. Their life skills were related to managing the behaviours of all at home in a combined family system.

As she lacked self confidence she was all the time having fear in the mind. She perceived every one and every thing as threat. Parents and brothers were threats. Though she had confidence in them (as there was no otherway for survival and dependence), she also had a fear of 'hope they don't ditch me!'...'they don't show partiality!' etc...

this continued with husband...being suspicious...checking everything...other day one of my friend's wife told me 'i know each minute where he is what he doing and whom he is talking to!'...what does this show?...poor lady was feeling proud of this!!!...

so, they were always parasites, scared each second, perceiving threats from every one, every thing, every life situation from all directions and in all dimensions...this is what is depicted in TV serials...so, they can never breath freedom, can never have happiness, peace, harmony, good social relationships, feel like committing suicide or running away...

total dependence and total parasitic living leads to destructive possessiveness...because the organism does not want to leave the person or place or life situation that is giving feeling of comfort for it...so it wants to possess that...in such an environment the person will have very low self confidence, low self esteem, will not be able to do any job properly...mind and body will always be stressed to the chore and higher limits...they are always slaves, feel caged, trapped, no escape...they live in 'learned helplessness'…they had to accept that ‘this is the way life goes on here!’…the other ladies also counselled them to accept things as they are and change as per the demands of others around quoting their own lives.

then how they lived???....how they felt happiness???...because they physically got the basic needs like food, clothing, shelter, air and sex (though for few seconds or minutes and the poor ladies perceived the ‘approaches’ or ‘attractions’ or ‘warming up’ behaviours as love!!!).

Their biggest strength for psychological or emotional support were their kids!!!...they showed love to them in abundance and got back also from the kids. So, their psychological needs got met to an extent. Animals, gardens or fields were there at home to which they got attached so much that their unconditional love needs got met. So, though there were tortures, uncertainties, fear of unknown, they could live or survive because of nature, animals and kids.

So, the crux is

1. Self confidence is the most important thing required for a girl..i.e ability to earn all the basic needs, life comforts and live a life of dignity, freedom and equivalence without differentiation and discrimination.

2. The society is changing and it is beyond anybody’s control. So, there is no other way other than to change our culture, life styles, beliefs, customs and traditions.

3. We can not live or expect our girls to live in an isolated manner insulating from the society or people around.

4. Education, job, professional and life skills of working and living anywhere in the world needs to be given to them by providing them such oppurtunities.

IF THIS IS NOT DONE NO MAN CAN LIVE IN PEACE OR HORMONY IN FUTURE!!!...AS NO GIRL WILL TAKE IT LYING DOWN!!!

rams

religion, language, caste....out perceptions about all these have only screwed our life!

hai all...there are many people going to temples every day...very very pious...religious...some read holi books every day for hours...some change from one religion to another religion to find peace, happiness and harmony...but there are many of these people who are sad...not happy...frustrated...always yelling at people...looking at everything and every one negatively....radiating hatred...no love...no peace...

what is the use of that god or religion if it is not giving happiness and peace???

all religions and gods are same...they do give peace and happiness...but it is our PERCEPTION ('god will punish me'-fear), POSSESSIVENESS ('my god is the best' 'my religion is the best') and EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT TO THESE ('to uphold my religion or god i will even give my life!') gives us the sadness or anger or irritation and screws our life.

zindabad to all these people!!!

rams

our culture does not allow us to be happy and makes us not to keep others also happy

hai all...today i saw a guy shouting at some one....like a mad dog...i asked him 'what happened?'...he said 'i have been living alone for the past two years here. My wife and one son are at x. The other son is at y place. Life is a hell yaar!!'

the conversation goes on...

'then resign your job and go there!'

'who will give this big salary?'

'will you be happy if you get your wife here'

'to an extent. But boys will make it complete!'

'then get the boys also!'

'what will happen to the education and job?'

'will your wife be happy if she comes here?'

'no, she likes her sons also!'

'then 'f' in accept the reality and enjoy the nature around...people around...there are plenty of happiness around you!!!'

these people have learnt only conditional happiness...i.e they will be happy if some conditions are met, which is not possible always...so they will have happy days in their life rarely...what is the point in living if you are not happy???

deriving happiness from nature, which is available every where...the good natural creatures like birds, insects, animals...giving UNCONDITIONAL LOVE...and of course, talking to people around with all the positive energy gathered from nature....can these people having 'nature as god and religion' can ever feel unhappy?...they would keep their wife and children also happy at remote places...but guys like above will make their wife and children also sad and longing and sulking all the time!!!...our ladies also like being sad this way!!!

hmmm....

what is bravery?

hai all...

while having dinner just now i noticed framed portrait photos of warriors...on horses with swords in hand...maraathhaa shivaji....etc...so, the following came to my mind...

all of them are warriors...brave men...but destructive warriors...destructively brave...is it the solution?...kill all those who differ from your beliefs or thoughts or life styles or culture or religion or region or caste or race????...every one is different from the other...does this mean we start killing anyone and every one?...do we become brave and warriors this way???

moment i say 'tamil is the best language' 'tamilians are the best', there is a dislike which gets automatically generated on other languages and people...hate is generated...so, destructive instinct brews in the subconscious mind...so, i start killing all of them ....kill to death or disturb their peace....is it bravery?...if some one wants to grab your resources, the very thought itself is wrong. Who and which culture made them to feel jealousy and grab?...moment one thinks like this he or she becomes an animal in behaviour...destructive!!!...destroying animals is bravery?

how many are 'constructively brave'?...i.e 1. ensuring that no one turns jealousy, animal like etc 2. changes those who become like (1) above with love and affection...

some months or an year back when a terrorist like person was keeping a bus full of school children at US on gun point, one lady teacher spoke to the gun man for some minutes and made the guy to drop the gun...she is the real warrior....'constructive warrior!'....is she not brave??

so, who is a warrior?...who is brave?...one who destroys or one who turns an 'animal' into a human being?...(in fact these changed humans eventually become better than other human beings!!)

 

rams

what is bravery?

hai all...something that came to my mind today....

when some one or something is not a threat to life, killing the person / thing is animal thing. This is no bravery.

Fighting a life threat and killing is a normal thing because all living organisms have the basic instinct of fighting against something that is a threat to its life. It is not bravery. May be a destructive bravery.

Fighting a threat, with love, as the only weapon and winning without killing is a noble thing. It is not a normal thing. It is the real bravery. It is rare as it is not a human thing. This is constructive bravery.

rams