"No one talks to me! Every one hates me!...I am feeling lonely"

hai guns and roses!...how are we?

as you know, there are many interesting questions i post and it is discussed, read and analysed by about 60,000 scientists, HR professionals, doctors, psychologists and all those who are involved with 'human behaviours'...some posts are encouraging...one is here...

New comment on "what makes a person to get aged and accelerating the..."

FROM The Psychology Network TO You

From

• The Psychology Network  
• 
  

To

• M.RAMASUBRAMANIAN MANICKARAJAN

The Psychology Network

what makes a person to get aged and accelerating the process of aging? calendar days of life on earth or 'thinking' of getting aged and... Rama: As an "elder" I especially appreciate your great curiosity and willingness to post really important questions for us all! Given your undying curiosity about these and related quetions, I submit this "flash videol: about the universe, posted in my blog that has always opened up my perspective in some deep questions. Here it is: "Putting Size and Scale Into Perspective." Enjoy: http://intothebardo.wordpress.com/2013/08/23/putting-size-and-scale-into-perspective-2/ By Robert Rossel, Ph.D New comment on "what makes a person to get aged and accelerating the..." Hide Details From The Psychology Network   To M.RAMASUBRAMANIAN MANICKARAJAN The Psychology Network what makes a person to get aged and accelerating the process of aging? calendar days of life on earth or 'thinking' of getting aged and... Some great questions Rama: You have a great ability to raise questions and leave plenty of space for folks to explore the various dimensions of the question without getting caught in pointless disputes coming from our respective points of view! By Robert Rossel, Ph.D Like • Comment • Follow Robert

hmmm...human beings are funny and crazy organisms by creation!...but our culture adds fuel to the fire and we land up feeling lonely!

any time we feel sad, there is an element of perception of 'feeling of rejection'!...it could be real or perceived. Mostly perceived, as, only when a person whom we like and liked tells / behaves in some way not ok with us then we feel rejected.

our perception depends on our neurotransmitters state in the brain. If normal secretion then you are rocking (like me!)...if less then you feel lonely.

this is seen in hostel students who eat only rice and junk food, no fruits, (no balanced diet), no vegetables etc.

if we regulate anything that we munch in side the MOUTH and MIND, we will never feel lonely.

anyone who has some music all the time in physical form or virtual form (brain keeps playing some song or the other on its own from morning to night), attach with nature and knows how to enjoy nature bit by bit, has some art form in life every day, sings or dances, has come element of service, philosophy, science (not physics or chemistry or biology but questioning anything like why, why not, how, when, what etc), walks, yoga, meditation, silence, has only positive thinking, attitudes, beliefs, emotions, perceptions and behaviours, he or she can not feel lonely. They are always rich with people, happiness, good health and success.

anyway, many approach me (good that they know that they should approach) saying 'feeling lonely sir!'...mostly hostel students...

Other day one college hosteller came to me and said “Sir! No one talks to me in the class. This disturbs me a lot!”…(if we have fever (body problem) we can take a crocin and sleep off to get well. When we have problem in the 'mind', only 'behaviours' can cure them, and not medicines!!)

Many come to me like this and say this or such statements which indicate a ‘feeling of rejection”…e.g ”my husband does not talk to me!”…”my friend does not talk to me” etc…

When that hosteller said that I asked…

“you know mother Teresa?”

“yes!”

“Is there anyone who does not like her?”

“No! everyone likes her!”

“So, you become a mother Teresa!”

“!@#$%^”

“Do you know Shahrukh khan?”

“Yes”

“do you like him?”

“yes”

“Does he have many fans!”

“Oh, yes! In lakhs and crores!”

“Then you also become a Shahrukh Khan!”

“!@#$%^”

“Mother Teresa is liked by all in the world for her KINDNESS and her ‘LOVING MOTHER’ nature. Shahrukh Khan is liked by all because he is bubbling with energy and happiness in his characters. So, the crux is if we are loving and caring for others, and bubbling with joy and happiness, then everyone will like us!”

“Everyone wants to be happy. No one wants to be unhappy. To derive happiness, they socialize with others. A person who radiates happiness spreads it to others also. So, people of such nature will attract everyone”

“so, what should I do sir?”

”help your classmates and friends who are sick by taking them to doctor, providing food and medicines. If required help with physical support if they need in doing their chores. Help completing their assignments and teaching the class work. If required sleep in their room to support them during nights”

“Don’t forget, a hug and a kiss speak a thousand words of love!...so, start with it and end with it!”

“many suffer with ‘low moods’, girls specially at least once in a month…be with them providing the emotional support they need, take them for an evening stroll if they are ok with it or provide whatever is ok for them, certainly a hug and a kiss!”

“help those who have problems with others in bringing them together again!”

“help the weak students by teaching them!”

“basically add value to their life, make them happy, make them feel not lonely,  share whatever 'resource' you have for them, show that ‘you are there for them’, as a friend, as a doctor, as a nurse, as a mother, as a lover and as a god’s savior!”

“be a fun and bubbly with jokes and songs!”

“you will find lots of peace and happiness spreading in you. You will find all your negatives disappearing from you. You will find you radiating happiness. You will find all those ‘rejected you’ accepting you in their ‘happiness’, as you shouldered their ‘sadness’ during tough moments!”

“you will be remembered by them throughout their life!”

“Remember, LOVE IS THE BEST POSITIVE WEAPON THAT CHANGES EVEN A ROCK!”

After this I could see some shine in the face of the hosteler.

"when you practice this everyday, you will find slowly you becoming a mother teresa and sharukh khan, whavvv, what a deadly combination!"

"you will become holy, a prophet, noble and god for all!"

"make the ones whom you helped, also to join with you, when you go to others, so that, this forms a 'culture' and this happiness spreads to all, and slowly and steadily we make a society full of happiness, good health and success!"

This is applicable not only for a hosteler, but can be applied by anyone under any social condition, at home, in society, in organizations etc.

the very next day that hosteler sent a message to me saying all good words and explaining how she is a 'transformed and enlightened' individual now!...till date no one has come back to me saying they were not successful with this treatment!

Jesus or Mohamed or Buddha are not sent by gods! We make ourselves jesus or mohamed or buddha with our behaviours!

yes...we are never alone...we are surrounded by nature...we are filled inside with lots of good memories to replay, cherish and enjoy...we have so many gardens and greens, insects, birds and animals nearby whom we can visit and feel the love and happiness...we have at least one person who has some people behind him and those some have some more behind each...like this we can go on and find sooooo many with us...

in fact why should we feel alone...we have soooooooooooooooooo many of them in the world who can love us, only thing is we don't know who they are....where they are....we have not put in any effort to find out them....they have also not put in effort to find out us...may be they have put in their effort but not yet reached us...or some might reach us some time in our life later...each one of them can show us a different world of love, happiness and enlightenment and make us feel 'reborn' on earth...new knowledge, new skills, new form of happiness, ecstasy and you can add anything like this....even if we put in effort to find them out, it might take a long time, energy and effort and we should be ready to spend that...to get that 'new' later...we might also land up in troubles...that is where the experience and intelligence comes in hand to help us....

so, all the best to all to find their new people, new love, new happiness, new world and to take a 'new birth'!!!

keep rocking!

rams

we and our damnnnn emotions!

hai guys and gals...how are we?

here is another new thinking about life, our own selves and things around!

have you ever seen a hen's den with few babies? It is so cute and refreshing to look at the babies...they remain inside the wings of mother with heads popping out. When we go near, the mother pushes the heads inside for safety. If an eagle or some animal tries to take away the baby birds, the mother fights it out and ensures the safety of its kids.

when we study the behaviour of such less evolved living organisms what do we observe?

they have natural urges for eating, defecating, protecting and reproduction.

emotions?...they have emotions related to only reproduction (they mate only during the mating periods (unlike human beings) driven by their inner systems), feeding the babies, protecting them from enemies, teaching them how to protect, search, kill and eat its prey. That is all. Apart from this they have no 'emotions or related behaviours'.

1. after the rearing cycle is over, during which time the kids become independent, the mother forgets the baby and baby forgets its mother. If any enemy attacks the kid, the mother does not go and fight with the enemy to protect the kid, as both of them have forgotten each other. No more 'mother-child' emotions or relationships, the 'limited' emotions that existed earlier between the two. The kid cock mates with its own mother. Mother also accepts it as it does not recognise the kid cock as it's kid. It recognises it as yet another cock!

2. after the rearing cycle is over it again gets emotions for mating with the male, any male, produces children, again gets attached to the children, teaches them, protects them and again forgets them after the rearing cycle is over...and it goes on!

3. they don't experience any other exhaustive emotions as human beings experience.

So, all such other species have only limited emotions for a limited time only. They don't have many relationships, almost no emotional relationships, don't go unstable while experiencing emotions. Therefore, they don't need any or much of emotional support!

We experience a number of emotions...happiness, anger, sorrow, fear, frustration, exclamation, disgust, guilty, shame, anxiety, envy, ...the list is really long!!

Human beings have emotions every moment and all throughout life. They never forget relationships and always feel emotional with all the people involved in emotional relationships. We also feel emotional with others with whom we are not having any emotional relationship e.g when some one is hurt on road we feel sympathetic and help. 

We have a large number of relationships (friends, mother, father, sister, brother, uncle and a biggg list!) and we experience varieties of love and all types of emotions and behaviours related to these relationships.

In just love itself we experience varieties and a large number of behaviours related to this like cuddling, hugging, kissing and what not!

Therefore, the flat naked truth is that 'human being, a highly emotionally evolved species, remembering relationships, forming a large network of ever expanding varieties of relationships, experiencing complex and multitude of emotions, goes unstable while experiencing emotions...and therefore, needs emotional support all throughout his life and without which he will feel lonely, land up with all mind related problems and might end his life!

This is not gender specific and therefore, it is the need of girls also. In fact, child bearing, rearing and by construct girls are more emotional than men and go unstable more and therefore, need more emotional support than men.

And all human beings need MOTHERLY LOVE all throughout his or her life and his or her search for a true motherly love goes on and on and on......never ending...and ends only when his or her brain dies!

No wonder he or she exhibits all the behaviours we exhibit with our mother, with the person or thing with whom we experience the motherly love.

The need for this motherly love is more when his neurotransmitter secretions are low, or when he perceives threat from a person, place or item or occasion etc....e.g losing of job, fear of losing wealth or other possessions, failing in exam, not getting job. feeling of rejection....like this we can go on...during all these situations in life he needs lots and lots of hugs, kisses, reassurance by words or physical behaviours which improves the secretions in the brain and makes him move forward in life...the love could be from a human being or from a talk or from some other living organism or non living one or even just nature...for e.g a drizzle or a cool cloud....after all it is a perception!...the feeling of love in the mind from what we see or sense!

so, what is changing is the quantity and quality of the need and whereas the need is always there every moment in a human being's life!

So, the crux is nature has given COMPLEX EMOTIONS to human beings to experience and enjoy the different dimensions of life, relationships, derive happiness out of everything, even sorrows.

so, let us enjoy the positive emotions, learn only lessons out of negative emotions, not suffer with negative emotions, cry out, cleanse and purify ourselves for the emotional losses and be happy, healthy and successful in life!

for more visit funnyrams.blogspot.com and The Psychology Network on LinkedIn.

all the best...keep rocking...bye...

peacefully yours....

rams!

We and our Heads!

hai guys and gals...enjoy this...

WE AND OUR HEADS

We are born to be happy, healthy (physically, mentally and socially) and successful.

All these require behaviours. Some are visible (overt). Some are invisible (covert).

When we are in coma state we don’t exhibit any behaviour. All those who are not in coma exhibit behaviours.

So, all of us exhibit behaviours all the time throughout our life, day and night.

If these behaviours are right, then we are happy, healthy and successful. If not, we land up with all sorts of physical, mental and social problems, illnesses, diseases and failures.

All the behaviours originate from brain, our head! If we don’t have head, then there is no behaviour. But all of us have one! That is the problem! It depends on us whether we keep it as a nuclear bomb or thorn or a rose.

What is there inside the brain?

Two types of behaviours.

First one is ‘natural behaviours’.

This is present in all the human beings. Natural behaviours are two types.

-behaviours that are vital to be alive (e.g eating, breathing, drinking, defecating, sexual, protecting from threats, socializing etc)

-hereditary behaviours

Second one is ‘learnt behaviours’

These are of two types

-out of conscious learning. This is what we learn from books, listening to others, own and others’ experience.

The other one is…

-learning without the conscious mind in use

Right from the time umbilical cord is cut, the learning without the conscious mind in use starts. Various sensors in the body continuously acquire the data from the environment throughout our life and store in the brain. This data is used to form behaviours by our brain without our consciousness. We don’t come to know about this.

These are the behaviours which cause all the problems in life…physical, mental and social problems. They generally don’t allow us to be happy, healthy and successful. If we take a paper and write down all our behaviours that do not keep us healthy, happy and successful, you will find that they are all unconsciously learnt, learnt from others, learnt from our culture.

All these behaviours are ‘cultural behaviours’.

They are acquired from people at home, relatives, friends, school, college, social gatherings, society, work places etc.

They are habits, beliefs, value systems, attitudes.

Some of them are…

Foods we eat, time we eat, number of times we eat, regularity and irregularity in eating, how we cook etc.

The dresses we wear and how we keep them hygienic.

The entertainment behaviours we follow.

The resting behaviours we follow.

The religion, cast, race and the related beliefs and behaviours we follow.

Most of the people have all their problems due to their own ‘belief systems’ they have formed without their knowledge due to the unconscious learning that has happened in their life through their development stages in life.

If you take a paper and write down the reasons for all your problems you will find they are due to the ‘conflicting behaviours, beliefs and habits’ we have. We might have two beliefs which contradict to each other. They might appear to give you happiness but might affect your other two issues..i.e health or success for e.g Indian women do all the house chores and go to bed late and get up early as they believe that ‘late to bed and early to rise’ is the good trait of a house wife which actually leads to less sleep, more physical and mental stress and life style diseases. There are many such.

Most of us have ‘life style’ diseases because our life styles are wrong. Life style behaviours are due to our habits, culture, attitudes and value systems. This shows that we are following wrong habits, culture, attitudes and value systems. So, it is time to wake up and redefine these. Our children are learning these wrong behaviours from us without their conscious.

No one teaches how to be a husband or wife or father or mother. All these roles are learnt from us without their knowledge. We have learnt from our parents.

 

 

Our life every day is full of only three elements…1. Thinking 2. Emotions 3. Behaviours. Thinking involves processing of stored data. i.e our beliefs, learnt information, attitudes, cultural issues etc. As our stored data is wrong i.e data acquired from others, culture and environment is wrong, our thinking also is wrong. I.e negative thinking about items, places, people, situations and occasions. When the thinking is wrong or negative the resultant behaviours and emotions are also wrong. E.g anger, frustration and we know all the others.

All the adaptability problems between people inside the house, outside, all types of relationships are all due to the above.

 

 

Now take a paper and write down all those behaviours which give unhappiness, bad physical, mental and social health and failures. They could be due to any of the above discussed. Please know that all these behaviours of yours are wrong for you. You need to change them. If you don’t change then you will continue to be unhealthy, unhappy and failed.

All inside the brain, the head!

So, what you want to do?

 

rams

 

Is it worth fighting, divorcing, "breaking up" in relationships?

hai guys and gals!...how are we?...as you know, the mail may be long, but certainly you will find that you are a changed person after you complete reading the mail!...it has three parts...you can choose and read or read all!

(as you know these are series of mails which are mainly intended to my classmates who are dispersed all over the world, read from people in kitchens to labs to colleges to corporate world, goes now to many friends, contacts and acquaintances too...so, don't mind the language and emoticons!)

you all must be wondering why no mails from me for quite some time now!

we will talk about that later...now let us come to the point!*:) happy

I used to feel that 'IQ, EQ and SQ (spiritual quotient) are vital to reach the top of corporate hierarchy while being healthy and happy'. I came across a Young AVP of a top notch IT firm recently who quietly and calmly proved this!...during the lunch hosted, some one asked 'how much are you paid?'...AVP said which meant 'More than what i need and more for what i do!'...when asked 'how much time you work?', though the AVP replied 'till 8 in the night. Some times till 1 in the mid night', what was meant was 'i don't work, i enjoy and entertain myself doing what ever i do!'...we need to accept and understand that agrarian society where life is all about ONLY 'husband, wife, children, 9 to 5 work, fun and fights at home and with relatives' has gone and it is industrial society now where 'home is replaced with home (i.e office) where people have fun, think, be creative, enjoy emotional support and friendships and relationships and produce the deliverables without their knowledge while being happy, mentally, physically and socially healthy and successful too!'...so, hats off to that AVP!...and let us remove our hats and start putting more IQ, EQ and SQ inside our brains, after all, mind is formed when various parts of the brain interact together with IQ, EQ and SQ!!!

now let us go to the next issue...an interesting fact which we must know to keep the friendships, relationships and marriages intact!

please take a paper...collect your photos...when you were 10 years old....20 years old...30 years old...40 years old...50 years old...60, 70, 80 and so on.

paste them on the paper sideways leaving space for some writing.

Now write your name above all the photos.

Now write what did you do at that age, your likes, dislikes, friends, whom you hated, games you played, art forms you enjoyed, attitudes, value systems, beliefs, what did you do most of the time, your definition of love, friendship, good spouse, relationships  etc...i.e write your personality attributes below each photo!

now you are ready with the object of study.

You have primarily two things in that paper...one is a pictorial image of you. And the other is a personality descriptive of you.

If you look at carefully do you think all 'these people' whom you pasted are same?...by looks or appearance they are different!...by personality attributes they are different!!...then how can you say that they are all same...are they not different people?...for e.g if i have pasted my photos, it is not ramasubramanian who is there in all the photos, in each photo there is a different person!

so, rightly speaking, we have to name each person differently...so, erase all the names on top of the photos now and write some names which you like.

Now you have photos of different people!!!...not just one person, YOU!!!

so, as we grow, as we age, our internal and external body changes, our appearance changes, we look different at different ages, along with all these changes our 'personality' also changes...some thing which we liked earlier, we don't like any further...our interests change...maslow nicely rocks in our brain and changes everything...while the nature changes everything inside and outside the brain and the body, Abraham Maslow lits the fire in the brain!

with this in the background just think is it right to expect your husband or wife to be the same old guy or girl. Saying "He has changed a lot yar!...He is not the same guy whom i loved!', forgetting that you have also changed, is it right?

some divorce their spouse quarreling on few issues, after few years when you think about it you will wonder 'how silly i was!'...'what a nice person he was!'...because what we did not like earlier is no more an issue now. The person whom we 'perceived' not suitable has become now suitable due to changed needs and likes.

so, to keep the love relationship going between lovers and spouses and friends, we need to fall in love or marry or find new friendships in that same person, changed person, actually a new person, again and again...otherwise the the initial triple bond will become double bond, then single bond and no bond after some time.

so, the crux is we all change continuously in our appearance and personality attributes and therefore, it is not worth hating people, straining relationships, losing friends...as HUMAN RESOURCE IS THE ULTIMATE RESOURCE ON EARTH!!!...if you miss a person, you may not get him or her back again, after you change later!...so, like and love all, radiate happiness, good health, be useful to all non parasites...and...and...and...what else?...keep rocking!

we will discuss another issue tomorrow!...now, why i did not send any mail for some time?

It is because i have only been sending mails and no response from any one, and so i was not improving!...no learning value!*:( sad
so, started posting in the blog and, thanks to the 'The Psychology Network' that popped up through the linkedin...i found that place very interesting...as about 36000 professors, scientists, doctors, professionals of HR, Mental health professionals and big host of all those who are involved with 'human behaviours' and 'behaviours of groups' (societies, communities etc) from league univs of US, labs, students etc participate actively on all discussion points...
i have posted five discussion points and all of them are rocking with hundreds of comments from all these people...good discussion...lots of new knowledge...if we want to learn about human beings, we should not dwell in small wells of only tamil nadu or india...we have to open our skull and heart to the whole world and hear what others have to say!!!

the discussion point on 'what is love?' has crossed more than 800 comments...in just about 1 month +...so, you can imagine the number of posts in a day!!!...so, all those who think only a 'boy-girl-sex', moment you hear the word 'love' can visit this place to know the definition of love, and wonder you wasted a good part of life without knowing this!!!
the other discussion points posted by me are:-

1. all behaviours should lead to happiness, good health and success. Which one leads to these?..no marriage, married life, 'living-in', divorcee, 'living-nearby', 'married with multiple divorces' & more.

(many of us choose to live alone without marriage, or get married and live with family (with all the moments of happiness, fights, tears of joy, tears of unhappiness, frustration...wofff, and what not!), or live together without marriage and leave if not compatible or adaptable and live with some one else when we get one, or divorce and live with some one else (with 'your kid and my kid playing with our kids'), or land up divorcing many times and living with many legally, or living nearby and living together only for some hours, days or whenever they wish (they feel living together means adapting for so many house chores and other behaviours etc which they feel is not possible, but they can not live with out each other), or hippie style...or living with the friends of same sex...

we decide to live in a particular way based on our childhood experiences...while we live that way, we might mature or evolve differently and might change our decision and go ahead with another form...might change again as life progresses...

as all of us are from different places and cultures, our experiences on this are different...many researches must have happened and ongoing...so, let us discuss for the betterment of future generations!)

2. What is Love?a relationship between two people? more people?between a person and a thing?any thing that gives us happiness,health & success?sadness too?'anything positive' in life?life line of life?

3. Emotions! Do we need them? Why negative emotions, any use? -ves only cause unhappiness and bad health.No success.Only reality/logic thinking and +ves not enough?Why not groom children with only +ves?

(emotions...right from our first cry on this earth to the last silence before death, we are all the time ruled by emotions...almost every minute we experience them and even varied emotions are requirement of the hour for all of us...a women is required to show all different types of emotions at the same time...many are involved in emotional labour...those who work at the receptions, hostess etc have to handle and show emotions...it is stressful...negative emotions are harmful...are we screwing up ourselves?...why not only positive emotions?...those who get health problems, remain in unhappiness for a long time or often land up to gurus, ashrams etc where they say 'be positive and have positive emotions always to be happy, healthy and successful!'...if that is so why not we groom our children to experience only positive emotions and how to handle negative emotions of others with positives?....let us discuss...)

4. every one believes in some thing or the other! mostly superstitious! is there any one who does not believe in anything that is non scientific? what is this 'belief psychology'? how to remove beliefs?

(every individual has a set of beliefs...it varies from person to person...one i belive in, others may not believe in...every community has a set of beliefs...these beliefs make a person to decide his destiny, day to day decisions, makes his behaviours and so on...some have positive effect...some have negative effect...still he believes...till the time he is convinced about another which is contradictory to the present...beliefs affect the lives of others also...so, they are very strong in our lives...but not scientific!)

5.why we feel happy & encourage something, knowing that it is wrong, not the reality, fake, with ulterior motive etc e.g false praising of politicians, women, employees etc.Impaired cognition? reasons?


why i like discussing these issues?...because it affects all of us and understanding each is important to keep ourselves, happy, physically, mentally and socially healthy and be successful in life!

Also, some of the senior professors in US have said openly that these issues have benefited them and made them to change their perceptions on issues of life!

so, those of you interested may join LinkedIn and join The Psychology Network to join with the rest of the world!

hope you enjoyed and feel a bit changed now!

ok guys and gals...keep rocking!

rams

the great indian parents!

hai alll...

Our parents in india are too good. Moment a baby girl is born think about its schooling, job, future goals etc, dream a lot and work day and night to select the best school etc. They keep their heart inside the mouth always and run with anxiety. Get up early in the morning, bath the child, feed, arrange auto or van, send to school, sit with the child, teach every day, discuss with neighbours, teachers and doctors if the performance is not ok, feel sad, cry too and spend sleepless nights to get her on the track. Arrange tuitions…hmm…what not we do!

Starting the coaching for IITs or IIMs from early or from 7th…we also get transferred to a place where good education is available, all our planning, family strategies are focused towards the ‘best education for the child’…spend sleepless nights and days from 9th to 12th …send them to professional course paying lakhs and lakhs…
But why when it comes to marriages we ask them or force them or plan strategies to make them compromises and sacrifices in their career or life?

today I attended the graduation ceremony of my daughter, spoke to some of them…of course, I have been talking to them for the past four years…I found most of these girls have been ignited and fired well from childhood to be an achiever, but once they joined the college their parents have all the time been talking about marriage or higher education and marriage or ‘marriage and no job’…the girls ask ‘why parents behave like this?...when I am about to become an achiever they say ‘compromise and sacrifice’ for ‘marriage’…any answers for this?...this makes the girls to plan their strategies!!!!...

a girl who scored amazing marks in tenth and +2, joining engg on merit, winning the gold and best student award, has been made to get married and remain at home by her parents...understand that was the agreement before she came to college between the girl and her parents!




the next point to ponder is....

we are great indian parents...we try to keep everyone happy...but are we happy and healthy?

If the mother or father is not happy...healthy...can he or she keep others in the family happy and healthy?

our sacrificial mothers and fathers forget brushing, sleeping, eating and their entertainment...they, on the name of (emotionally) looking after their children better than other parents, sacrifice many things and remain unhappy or neutral (actually they can bloody well do all that...but they like doing like that...they want to indicate or show that they are paying so much attention to their kids!!!)...their threshold of happiness too low that 'they think they are happy' even when neutral...

the truth is 'no one can make any one happy unless he or she is happy'...the other truth is 'no one makes other one happy, when they are happy the contagious positive disease spreads to others also...that is all'

so, let us first keep ourselves happy!...happiness does not come on its own...saying 'I am here. Come and hug me!'...it is a conscious effort...once the habit of being happy is inculcated from childhood, it remains forever and if it is culture in the family with all the people, then it spreads or flows to people outside also...but is it the state?

in our great culture our happiness is conditional...i.e we say 'I will be happy if I get
good marks...good college...good job...if my mother cooks that...if I am there...or if I have that'....so lots of IFs and BUTs we have....so, our happiness is only conditional and we can not be happy always...it comes once in a while...rarely...as conditions are not fulfilled often...as they are not in our hands...as our thresholds are low we don't think about higher levels of happiness...mostly we perceive 'pleasure' as happiness...great world of perceptions we live in!!!!

we need to know and grow a lot, before we start producing children and not to screw up our children and their future!

25Like · · Promote · Share

• Naveenraj Elango and Brindha Chelliah like this.
• 

  Monisha Anand uncle i used to look these points in ur point of view. i agree all of these points.....,today many of the parents and also childrens r doing this uncle...according to me life is to enjoy...life is also to fulfill our dreams,happiness,etc...we can help others but we should never burn our happiness and sacrifice it for others....

  3 July at 12:20 · Unlike · 1
• 

  Manickarajan Ramasubramanian yes...our parents are 'fear' grown people...all their thinking and behaviours are fear driven...if they think 'my daughter is a small innocent girl, she does not know anything, i only have to look after her' then what the hell they have been doing all these years?...no living organism does this...we feel toooooo responsible, that is the problem!...one who 'compromises and sacrifices' can never achieve!...at the same time we need to look into how to satisfy others without making compromises and sacrifices!...we need to give the assurance to parents 'Look!...i love you both and look after you...as long as you are with me wherever i am and what ever i am doing!'...how many have the guts?...LOVE is the only medicine with parents and others!

  3 July at 12:55 · Like
• 

  Pavithran Kuniyil Teach them the importance of saying 'NO' when required.

  4 July at 15:29 · Unlike · 1
• 

  Monisha Anand the word "LOVE" and the feeling of "LOVE" is first shown and greatly given by our parents to us................. the same word "LOVE" and the same feeling of "LOVE" should be first shown and should be greatly given to our parents by us..........!that is the greatest justice we can give to them....

  5 July at 18:05 · Like
• 

  Manickarajan Ramasubramanian you are righright monisha...but our understanding of LOVE is all hells!...join with me on LinkedIN and The Psychology Network to know the real meaning of it...

   

  keep rocking..

  rams