meaning of two Tamil words...'Kalvi'....'Kalavi'....

Dear all...there are two words in Tamil...1. 'Kalvi'...meaning 'Learning'...2. 'Kalavi'....means 'Sex'...it is just a 'dot' that makes these words different when we write the words in Tamil...so, a dot makes a world of difference in meaning!!

There are again two sets of words in Tamil...1. 'Vaazhum murai' (means 'the way we live'....2. 'Vaazhkkai neri' (means 'the way we are supposed to live')...

in fact both are supposed to be same...the vaazhkkai murai is supposed to be as per the vaazhkkai neri...i.e our way of living every day and every moment should be as per the way we are supposed to live...
vaazhkkai neri...i.e the way we are supposed to live is given in books...the books say let 'kalvi' be the basic of life and living...i.e 'Life is a process of Learning...i.e Life is a process of reading books, reading Nature (i.e sciences), reading people, their life experiences, our own experiences, learning lessons from them, also enjoying these processes with relationships and emotions, applying our sixth sense (thinking...cognition...) in all these processes...and evolving-growing-maturing-developing based on the results of all this learning!'....this is how the books define the Life as...Living as...!!!

whereas if we analyse our actual living...i.e our culture...i.e vaazhkkai murai...is based on 'Kalavi'...i.e get born-grow playing-attain age (i.e maturing physically)-get married-produce children-enjoy playing-become old-die'...here 'kalvi' i.e 'education' (note...not Learning!!) is for getting food, wealth, money required for enjoying the kalavi processes i listed above...

Which is required?...Kalvi?....or kalavi?....or both?...Which one should form the core of life and living?...which forms the necessary condition?...which forms the sufficient condition?...

A professor says 'the money i get from Kalvi (education!!) goes for Kalavi (sex)!'....a sex worker says 'the money i get from Kalavi (sex) goes for my Kalvi (education)!'....whose life is better?....

Are we on track?...Are we on the track of good health, happiness, peace, contentment and self-trancending?...Any changes required?...What are the changes?

Let us think.....probably it will help at least for grooming our children in the right direction, who will make and redefine the culture of future!!

peacefully yours...rams...health psychologist....

why do we get head-aches due to our mind?

Dear all...many of us get head aches....we are not able to do anything...our peace and happiness is spoiled...relationships get affected...frustration, anger, sadness also come together with this...why do we get head aches?...one among the reasons is 'conflict inside the mind!!

Nature is The God, the Grand Master of the music of our lives…

conflict arises in the mind when...

1. what we have PERCEIVED in the brain is against the Nature's dictate on us...i.e the way nature has created us to think or behave or feel...and destiny...i.e the life Nature has created for us, the way it has decided for us to go about in life....

2. what we have perceived is contradicting to what we have LEARNT or stored as a belief, morals or ethics etc...i.e what i call as CONSTITUTION...constitution of a person is what he believes in, his life philosophy, values, customs, morals etc...

If we allow the Nature to play its game…if we accept the destiny as it is…if we allow the passing clouds, i.e thoughts with which we we are not ok with, to pass through without processing them, if we are not rigid on our learning…and understanding that our life and living will change depending upon the climate, place of living etc etc and therefore our learning has to be unlearnt for the new life and new learning…then there is no conflict at all…it is only peace…rested mind…calmness….bliss…shanthi…shanthi…

peacefully yours....rams....health psychologist...

perception of two different husbands...about their wife...

Dear all....

People who live as per our culture…i.e based on wealth, money, needs and expectations, body needs, ego (maanam…rosham…izzat etc), hunger for power-authority….which are never ending, and giving craving for entire life…can never feel contentment, peace, happiness and therefore no happiness!!

Such people will perceive their wife as ‘She is my wife. She is supposed to satisfy my needs and expectations. She is supposed to bear my child, give birth, rear and look after my parents and me for life long. She is supposed to cook, clean the utensils, keep the house and surroundings neat and tidy, wash the clothes-dry-iron and arrange in the cupboard, buy all the provisions and other things required for all of us at home, look after the relatives coming home, maintaining good relationships with neighbours and others, keeping up the tradition and good name of my family.These are her duties. Rest all become secondary’.

They will accept a good fortune as dowry or gift or on some other name for looking after her for life time.
Under these perceptions the girl will not perceive any love and will not be in a position to satisfy all the needs and expectations above, because all the above needs are blended with love emotion and without perceiving love from the people and social processes at home she can not do all these…even if she does all as duty, it will not have the charm, beauty and taste, and will be stressful for her as she is doing without interest and involvement…

There are some people who see their life as ‘1. a service and living for others the way all the living organisms live their life…i.e the way Nature has created…2. Life is a process of giving unconditional love’…

They see their wife as God sent Angel in their life. They will think ‘Look at me! Who I am?...Just nothing…Look at this beautiful innocent cute girl…she has left her home, parents, siblings, house, friends around, with which and whom she has lived all these years, and come here to live with me…accepting that I am her world hence forth…hmmmmmm….she is my life now…she is my everything…everything and everyone come only next to her…keeping her happy and healthy is my prime duty…I will do anything for achieving this…she is my Goddess…she is my happiness...she is my peace...nothing is required from anyone…I can earn and keep her like a Princess!!’…

When this is done, obviously the girl will also see him as her God, best friend, lover, soul-mate and the ultimate person on earth.

Who will do which job, whose duties are what etc will not be an issue at all in their home…they will look after each other well and the family will be full of only love, peace and happiness…an ideal family. Here all the needs and expectations of the guy will get met with love!!

peacefully yours...rams...health psychologist....

Two types of behaviours we exhibit from birth to death...

Dear all...in my opinion, only two people do not exhibit any behaviour...

1. those who are dead

2. those who are in coma

all others exhibit some kind of behaviour all the time...overt!!

they also experience covert behaviours inside...

thinking, emotions and activity or gestures exhibited by some body part...these are three elements of behaviour...(cognition, conation, affect)

and all the behaviours can be classified into only two groups...

1. health enhancing

2. health compromising

mostly we know which are the behaviours that are health enhancing or health compromising...but...but...there are many which we don't know...and we do them and land up with health issues...

health means 'a state of physical, mental and social well-being'

Health enhancing behaviours do not happen automatically...we have to do them consciously....after some time they become habit and spread to others also as culture...

hihihi...this is the short and sweet lecture for the day...bye...take care...

peacefully yours...rams...health psychologist...

should we fight against the inner conflict of the mind?

Dear all....i read this..."You have to stand up against the inner conflict and fight it. The world doesn’t care how you feel; the world is only interested in what you have done and what you are doing"....
I feel...we should learn the philosophy of life so that there is no conflict in our mind...(recently i typed few lines on reason for arising of conflicts...if we avoid such conditions of mind then there will be no conflict)...if no conflict, then no fight...only peace...

creating conflict and fighting against it is stressful, no peace, no health, waste of precious life time...

no need to bother about the world...the significant people around, i.e the world, will be happy if their needs are met...to keep them happy we have to be first happy...only possessiveness comes in the way as expectation from them...this is what is to be managed with heart out communication and understanding between the people concerned...

people other than the significant people are not world...

rams

Are our parents and teachers grooming the children correctly for social living in this world?

Dear all...there are many parents who grow their children keeping them away from the children of opposite sexes...there are many schools and colleges also who ensure that the girls and boys sit separately on either side of the class room...there are hundreds of rules sand regulations which microscopically bring out the dos and don'ts between girls and boys...they are scared if something sexually will go wrong between them...

they need to know what are they preparing the children and students for?

they need to know that both sexes need to coexist from childhood to death.

the world is full of and several kinds of social systems where they have to understand each other, adapt, coexist and make the aims and goals of the social organisations met e.g family, office, etc.

proper development, aging, maturing, evolving of the individual happens only when both coexist...

most of the families now are single child families...therefore it is imperative that parents, teachers, school and college administration ensure that they adequately mingle, work together, spend social times together, understand each other sexes and mature in life...

growing is the process of preparing the children for 'life on earth'

1. to marry and coexist in a family living

2. to know the needs and expectations of opposite sexes, respect each other, nurture each other, learn the social dynamics etc in practical life situations both at home and office environments

3. to have good friends for life (but they feel only husband or wife should be the close friend and not others which is not sufficient in society full of nuclear families)

4. to successfully perform in organisations as members and leaders of teams, groups and projects.
making them physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and socially strong, making them confident in decision making on life issues, exposing them to all the knowledge and experiences on relationships, life, living etc, making them to do social service every day for few minutes, self regulating through learning and healthy life styles is the way to ensure physical and mental safety of the individual...separating them physically, mentally and socially is not the solution....it will only result in opposite effect...as we are working against Nature!!

many think that everything will become alright after they get married or join organisations...which is not true...they will be head ache for themselves and others for life time...there is no point in blaming them later that they don't know how to live and adjust

many a times we find students very good in academics but very poor in social adaptation or social adjustments...the students are rigid and timid and are unfit and not employable in the present organizational environment...

when students or married people come for counseling we can clearly make out that they have not matured and evolved properly due to lack of opportunities for social learning during childhood and adolescent period....they are not ready for a married life...love life...organizational team working...correcting later becomes problematic...as social learning at the age of 30s and 40s is too late...when the organism has grown rigid and not flexible...with so many egos....

so, i wish the parents, teachers and administrators change their policies and make their children and students successful in their profession and life...

hihihi...and bring less job to psychiatrists and psychologists.....

peacefully yours...rams...health psychologist....

what is green?

Dear all...specially all those friends in west Asian desert...a feast for your eyes...this is called green colour...Nature's green!!
rams

2 Likes

the white beauty...

Dear all...out of the many flowers i clicked today, she is the best!!...the white beauty!!!
rams

 

When should we take rest?...what is rest?...

Dear all...Forest...says 'For-Rest'...i.e for taking rest...and enjoying the Nature...breath the freshly manufactured air...how many who live inside or near the forests do this?...and those who live away, turn on your fantasy world, guys and gals!!!

hmmmmm...now that i have spoken about REST, i can't rest unless i give a lecture on REST!!...haa..haa.haa...!!

Rest is to be given to the body only after it is tired. There is a difference in taste of drinking a glass of lime juice, before a run and after a run!!...obviously after a good run and sweat it is more tastier...as body needs glucose and water!!...similarly a nap after two hours of walk and run is heavenly!!

Rest for the mind is keeping it blank...Meditation...or filling it with pleasant and heavenly entertainment...laugh is a good entertainment...

But what we do?...we give rest for the body without making it tired...we give entertainment to the mind without making it tired...(by the word tired i don't mean STRESS...e.g 1. not giving food and taking work out of the body 2. conflict in the mind causing stress)...i am referring to the positive and healthy means of working of body and mind and getting tired...

those who live their life in few words 'birth-play-educate-work-earn-marry-reproduce-sleep-entertain-play with grandchildren-criticise politicians and administration-die' spend most of their useful life time either IDLE or SLEEP or ENTERTAINMENT (without any tiredness)...

so the crux is....

'make the body and mind positively-tired for a peaceful life, great sleep and to enjoy every moment of rest and entertainment with a divine feeling'

peacefully yours...rams...health psychologist...

 

How to identify whether a marriage can be made to survive or not?

Dear all...Marriages can 1.survive 2. Exist 3. Live

Depending upon

1. Satiation of needs and expectations…they can be served without love also…(exist)…

2. For the sake of children (survive) or parents

3. Fear of society (exist /survive)

4. To avoid turbulence in professional, personal, family, spiritual and family life (survive/exist)

5. Feeling of ‘I want my better half to be happy!’ (live)

6. Fear of insecurity (financial, legal, emotional, social, physical, mental etc) (survive/exist)

Of course, situations where in combination of one or more of the above can also exist…anything more??
So, when people come with marital problems I look for presence of any of these…even if one is present then we can save that marriage…i.e at least we can make them to survive or exist within four walls (who knows, time can make them to live also!!)…

but if none of them is present, then we can not make them join…and of course, time is the best healer and judge…changing life situations, interests, needs and expectations with age might change their perceptions and make wonders and miracles in their relationships, without even the intervention of a counselor…only thing is they should have the patience!!...

when more options are available people will not have patience to wait and will end the relationship!!
so, it is soooooooooooooooo easy to do counseling!!! (haa.haa..haa!!)

peacefully yours....rams....health psychologist...

cry of some girls....

Dear all...this is the cry of many girls..."Oh guys!! when we live peacefully looking after our life, you guys come, catch our legs, cry saying you all love us tooo deeply etc...we feel sympathy, pitty and finally 'fall' in love with you guys deeply, after that, you guys show off toooo much without giving much of attention to us, neglecting us, making us to catch your feet and beg for your love....is it correct??'

rams

a simple thing we don't do...

Dear all...sooooo many of these flowers get crushed under our feet every day....have we ever picked them up and enjoyed the way Nature has carved them on plants and coloured them so beautifully!!

If we had done that, if we had looked at the stars each night, we would have lived differently and realized that there are much more things to do on this earth every moment than what we do all day and night!!

rams

Are all born here eligible to marry?...are all parents capable of finding life mates for their children?

Dear all...there are two truths our people have to accept...otherwise they will keep killing their children's happiness, peace, good health, passion, sense of fulfillment and achievement in life...they will make them only an yet another animal...

1. Not all human beings are fit for traditional married family life.

2. Not all parents are capable of finding a life mate for their children.

rams

what to do when we love more than one person?

Dear all...read this today....

"Can the feeling of love arise for someone else in spite of already being in a relationship?

Anything can trigger that nadi in your heart when you start feeling love for somebody. Now instead of focusing on the object or person, focus from where it is arising. Then you'll use every attraction to get deep into meditation. Because when you go in the level of attraction it is short lived. Either the object will move away or you'll lose the feeling! If you just look in and internalize it, then you'll feel the nature of our consciousness is love and you'll move from attraction to love to devotion."

rams

How to know if you are in love with a person or not?..or "how to find out your lover?'

Dear all...the biggest problem with all is 'how to identify if i am in love with that person or not?'...some simple tips are here...

1. many say the bell rang in my mind moment i saw her/him...

if you feel some changes happening in side and outside your body during the fertile days, whenever you saw that person, over a prolonged period, then it is not love...it is only a lust...it is only a 'like'...the attraction may not last a life time...or even for a long period...when the features creating the lust disappear the love feeling also will disappear...

2. if you don't feel any changes inside and outside the body and you feel only peaceful, happy, calm, contended, heavenly, in the mind, even during the fertile days, over a prolonged period, then it is love...this is likely to last long...may be a life time too...provided both change and adapt to the other person during every age and stage in life...you need not fear that you may not lead a reproductive life...when you love a person in the mind, you 'like' him also...and this will lead to a reproductive life too...

rams

What is the meaning of 'Do you like the girl?'...the question asked to the boy who has visited to see a girl for marriage...

Dear all...in our marriages the parents of the boy visit the house of the girl to 'see' the girl and decide if she is 'fit' enough...

after the event of 'seeing' they ask a fantastic question to the boy...'Do you like the girl?'...

what is the meaning of this question?...after seeing her for few minutes or talking to her for few minutes...

It simply means...1. do you feel she is beautiful?...2. do you feel aroused when you look at that girl?....3. do you think she will satisfy your 'needs'?...4. do you think you can walk along with her on the roads and in front of your friends with pride?....4. do you think she is that homely you wanted?...5. do you predict from her appearance that she will make a good wife for you?....6. do you think she can fulfill your dreams?

(tottaly body based and single sided. They don't bother if the boy can meet her needs or wishes or passion or ambitions etc)

they will also make a statement...'we like that girl'...this means....1. they are rich and wealthy 2. they can adapt with us 3. they belong to our caste and religion 4. we can walk with pride if we have alliance with this family 5. we have already seen the horoscope and it is matching 6. we have already discussed the deal and we are ok with it 7. 'you better agree to marry and live with her, ok!!' 8. their family is 'good'

(anything else i missed out??)

what a fantastic way of match making!!!

rams

"sir...few days back i joined an association...one guy there smiled at me friendly...i also smiled...yesterday he came in my dreams...it was a nice feeling...when i think about it now i am feeling guilty...because i am in a relationship with another guy already!!'

Dear all….AN INTERESTING AND IMPORTANT POST FOR PEOPLE OF ALL AGES....

yesterday one girl called me up and said with lots of hesitation and shyness ‘sir, I don’t know how to tell you…but I can’t discuss this with anyone else (!!)…it is a strange thing which happened for the first time. I recently became member of an association and I saw a guy there. I don’t know anything about him and not spoken also. Two or three times he smiled at me and I also smiled at him. It was just a ‘hai’ smile only. Yesterday during my dreams he came and I enjoyed it that time. But now after waking up when I think about it, I am feeling guilty, because I am already in a deep relationship with another guy. I don’t know why it happened like that, I feel it is wrong, I don’t know what to do sir, I don’t know what will happen in future!!’

Ans…The earth has only two types of living species…1. Plant life 2. Animal life…we are part of animal life…so, we are also animals…Nature dictates the life of all living species…It wants life to go on here…it wants variety…i.e no two same…we are no exception from this…

But we are different from animals that we have the sixth sense…this creates the mind…we also have possessiveness and jealous of the mind created by the sixth sense. Possessiveness and variation seeking behavior work opposite to each other.

Social systems, rules, regulations, ethics, values etc have been created by us…not by Nature!!

Conscious mind works with the social systems and associated social behaviors…rules, regulations, ethics, values etc…cognition (thinking) and associated emotions and behaviours (overt and covert) occur with this…so, you have felt guilty.

Subconscious mind works with Nature. It has no rules, regulations, ethics etc. It only knows procreation and variation.

All the suppressed, repressed and avoided thoughts of conscious mind work here. When the conscious mind is at sleep, the subconscious mind wakes up. It creates all the magic and drama (fantasies) in the dreams as per Nature. So, what has happened in your dreams is Natural. It is a fantasy.

During the fertile days it can happen like this. For the subconscious mind, which works as per the directives of Nature (not only in this issue but in the case of soooo many varieties of issues in life e.g passion) it is not wrong (that is why you enjoyed those moments) but for the conscious mind which works as per the rules, regulations, ethics, moral values of social systems it is wrong. That is why you feel guilty.

Guilty is the combination of two basic emotions….i.e happiness and fear….the subconscious mind created the happiness feeling and now you are resisting it, there is fight going on between the Nature and Social systems in your mind, between the two people inside, the fight between the Id and the Super ego. The fight between the happiness and ethics. The fight between right of Nature and wrong of Social systems. The fight between the reality in the fantasies and the fear of 'what will happen, what others will think about me if others come to know of this?'...

Animals mate only for procreation and therefore it is seasonal and they don’t do it for pleasure. Human beings do it more for recreation than for procreation. So, it is not seasonal but remains always, all days, throughout the year and throughout the life.

Therefore, the subconscious mind is more stressed for variety needs without our knowledge. The social systems regulations do not allow us for pursuing our passions, needs and expectations from others. Also these are not fulfilled from others to our needs, levels and variety needs. So, as a coping skill, the subconscious mind creates fantasies without our knowledge, without our permission, so that it is at peace, balance, happy and we, as a whole organism, remain peaceful, balanced, calm and are able to focus on daily chores and life during our conscious life on earth.

More the unsatisfied the needs and expectations, more the fantasies. Less the unsatisfied needs, passion and expectations, less the fantasies. For balance and stability of conscious mind and body.

If the subconscious mind is not able to produce this then the organism goes unstable and haywire. This gets manifested in the behaviours as violent, rude, unethical, not following the rules and regulations, sadistic pleasure, rape instincts, not allowing others to live peacefully etc…It gets manifested in the form of emotions like frustration, sadness, anger etc.

We being social animals…i.e species of social systems…want everyone to form a good image about us…we want acceptability within these social systems…we don’t want to tell or show any emotions that are not acceptable or not respected by others in the social systems we are in…we only exhibit socially acceptable behaviours…so, we don’t agree to all these typed above…

So, during the fertile days, age and stage in our life our body lusts many…it ‘like’s many…for pleasure....like animal needs...variation needs…but it does not remain always…it keeps changing…the people whom we lust do not remain in our minds…they come and go…they keep changing also…they need not be in relationship with us…it generally happens with healthy and youthful people…as Nature wants only healthy offsprings…eg many lust actors, actresses, sports personalities etc (sports people are healthy as they do lots of physical work).

lust is related to pleasure...and pleasure is never ending...we always want and want it differently...different pleasures...there is a craving for this always...so, it never gives permanent peace...it only gives a short happiness and contentment when the needs are met...there is no contentment...so, it is a curse and blessing both!!

But the mind loves only a few…those give happiness, peace, calmness, contentment through their behaviours…it can involve both young and old…it has no age limits…they remain in the mind forever…some lust with all or few of these…some lust with only one…the feeling of this lust is different from the lust described above…may be called divine or tantric etc…

So, the crux is…

1. Whatever has happened to you is normal. It is not abnormal. So, no need to fear or feel guilty. The guy will go off (provided you don’t form any relationship with that guy!!).
2. These are common during fertile days.
3. The stress can be reduced by satiation of needs through reality or coping skills.
4. If the urges are kept low through healthy life style of body and mind, then it may be low.
5. Making the body more tired during the day time may reduce fantasies during the nights.
6. Pursuing the passion also reduces fantasies.
7. Everyone is different. You are like this. Accept yourself happily and go ahead in life.

peacefully yours....rams...health psychologist....

our Prayers and Prarthanas...

Dear all...Prayer!!...praarthana!!...both these words mean probably that we want something which we don't have...may be money, wealth, health, fame, authority, peace, contentment, success etc...and both these are addressed to God...some people ask god for all these even if they themselves can get...some feel they can not get and so God can give them...some feel they can get but anything can happen which can make them not to get it...so they prey the God to make their hard work result in getting what they want...

hmmmmm...those who prayed when they get help believe that their prayers only have helped them...people like me who never prayed but still got the helping angels who again come from nowhere and disappear suddenly feel that 'it is not the prayer that matters, it is what we are that matters!'...because nothing else comes to my mind when i ask myself the questions 'who is he/she?...from where he or she came?...why should he or she come from no where and help me?......hmmmmmm...all of us make our beliefs depending on our life experiences...

my parents, since my childhood have been saying 'you don't believe in all these. How can you get anything in life?'...i have got all the abuses...many times knuckles on the head...many a times insult and bad words...sidelined within the four walls...even now at times they say 'you don't know how to live!'...what they mean by that is 'i am not living like others!'...yes, i am a funny guy...i do what i believe in...i live on mother earth...may be others are right...but i am not wrong because that is right for me!!...i do what is right for me...every time when my parents tell me this, i just tell them 'Take a paper and write what all you have got by living like others and what i have got by living like what i believe in...then you will get the answer!'...they don't have any answer and have never done that paper-pen act!!

I may not be successful in the evaluation of some...it does not matter to me...i feel i am successful and still on the way towards success...hurdles can come...but still life is ahead...as i believe in 'when you reach the Everest is not important, reaching (with all the health, happiness, peace, contentment) is what is important!'
i am on my way....i am a funny guy....i live on mother earth...Nature, The God is with me and everywhere!!...no one can take that away from me, as i am part of Nature!!

haa.haa..haa...rams...funnyrams!!

What is Happiness??

Dear all...What is Happiness?...good question!!

I can only tell from my own experience and what I believe in!!...it may be wrong…or it may be right…perception varies from person to person…

1. A poor childhood, but rich in Nature around, at Sivagiri and Ezhumathhur villages…where I spent from age 5 to age 7…and later at Coimbatore from 8 onwards

2. Though I did not get many things in life like good dress, good chappals, education at elite schools, food etc but I was happy playing country games on the road side with my type of boys, just not bothering about ANYTHING in life...(though the rich boys did not accept me among them as a cultured one!)...again created my own Amazon forest with in the 2 cents land with all the 'pet animal' and insects kingdom and found happiness in abundance!!

3. I am not intelligent…I am just an average guy…may be below average also…but I know through hard work we can tide over this disability and it became true also in my life.

4. As I mentioned in the other post and many other posts I feel ‘God is every where as Nature. We are also part of Nature. We don’t have to pray God, and God gives without asking, if we good human beings, as, God knows what is right and good for us, what we deserve to be happy, healthy, contended and successful in our own feelings and beliefs! God gives everything that is right for us! In the perception of others it may be less or wrong for us, but actually right for us!!’…so, I accept destiny as it is…so, anything that happens in life is happiness for me!!

5. As a child I could see rich people were also not happy. People in power were also not happy. All those who went to God with big lists were also not happy always as they got only small pleasures...and certainly they did not get good physical-mental-social helath, happiness, contentment, a big success, fame etc...So, I learnt that these are only necessary conditions for comfort and ego satisfaction for pleasures but not sufficient conditions for total life long happiness. Later on Maslow also said all those five needs. Also realized that materialistic things can not give contentment but are necessary too, which we can get through our hard work.

6. During the poor child hood there was no political or any other help or support. I only believed that only education can give everything…how much we take out of that 100 marks question paper is in our hands and not in the hands of others!!...if we believe in our hard work and good humanness then God will ensure that all the conditions are favourable to us to get the maximum marks. We don’t have to pray to god. This is what I believe in and it happened to be true also. So, this belief gets enforced as right in me.

7. So, from all the above I defined life like this….Life is journey of learning…keep learning, and you will get earning too, as the word learning has earning within…learning (not reading or education…but converting all education, experience, knowledge and skills into positive cognition, emotions and behaviours) makes you a noble person, gives fame, power, authority, identity, money, wealth, good health, ability to be in the present, good friends and everything…and this definition and belief came true also…so, I am forced to believe that ‘LEARNING GETS YOU HAPPINESS AND EVERYTHING INCLUDING GOD!!!’

peacefully yours...rams...health psychologist...

hmmm....birds, animals and plants are happy...and we are not...

Dear all...it says 'The peacock does not know that it is beautiful...The crow does not know that it is not beautiful...they simply live their life being in the present without any ego...only we screw up our lives thinking all these!!'
rams

"Doing what you like is freedom. Liking what you do is happiness"

Dear all..."Doing what you like is freedom. Liking what you do is happiness!'.....true...!!

we are by default a part of a social system called family and we become part of many social systems at the same time with social roles, statuses which have responsibilities...so both will be there...!!

first one is for to enjoy the freedom...the second one is for happiness...if the first one is more in the ratio then we have (or perceived) less responsibilities and more of freedom...if we are more responsibility oriented people then more happiness and less freedom...

my 'Life is a journey of learning' concept will help us to like what we do...because we are learning...we are in the present that way...that is spiritual living in my definition...so we will be peaceful, mind-healthy, contended and enjoy our life!!

peacefully yours...rams...health psychologist....

Why are we not happy, healthy, peaceful and contended inspite of being God fearing and going to temples every day?

Dear all...most of our people go to temples to ask God for some thing which has only a pleasure component...pleasure by definition is short lived...so their list to god is endless...never any contentment...they only ask materialistic things and not spiritualistic things like happiness, peace, contentment, good physical-mental-social health etc....so even God must be laughing at them....!!!
rams

the simple method of being happy and contended...

Dear all...plant and animal life are happy with their limited one / five senses...

we are not happy, healthy and contended because of the sixth sense...the point is sixth sense has two sides...positive and negative...

let us take a paper and write down all these separately...we need to consciously pursue the positives...

we need to apply interventions separately for each of the negative ones to convert them to positives (not just leaving them unattended)...this also we have to practice consciously in every life situation, even while being silent without any job...

then slowly it will become a 'habit' to be positive always...this will spread to others also from our radiation as 'culture'...this is how we create 'positive cultures'!!...

if we groom our children with all these from the birth, they will be always happy in each and every moment in their life...'DESIGNER BABIES', they will become, as they will be unique, Godly babies!!

if i type about the lists, interventions etc it will become too long...we will see in the future days...bye...keep rocking!!
rams

What is Beauty?...Where is it present?

Dear all...

What is beauty?...where is it present?...there is an old saying ‘Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder!”…is it right?...

Is beauty not there in the object?...when we think about this issue initially we will certainly feel that ‘it is in the object!’…but when we hear the arguments from all sides then we will feel that ‘it is in the PERCEPTION of the individual!!’

We can talk about his topic for many volumes…but here I will limit about beauty of human beings only…

We perceive a person to be beautiful in two ways…1. Lusty beauty 2. Spiritual beauty

When we look at some people whether young or old we can feel some physiological and biological changes both inside and outside. We get the feeling of lusty beauty. This happens during our ‘fertile’ days of the month. We feel this lusty beauty on people who are described as beauty or ‘not beautiful’ by others. This clearly brings out that the PERCEPTION of beauty lies in us and not in the object.

When we look at some people we feel no changes in our body both inside and outside…we only feel a sense of calmness, peace, happiness, contentment, meaning of life etc in the mind…this is called spiritual beauty…

Even during fertile times we can feel the spiritual beauty.

The feeling of Spiritual beauty also can have the element of lusty beauty perception.

When we are ill we don’t feel lusty beauty. We feel only the spiritual beauty.

If we are left with the person whom we feel ‘too ugly’ in an island, in few days we will feel lusty beauty with that person…a sense of attachment…need for survival takes us close to that person…nature induced need for procreation makes us to perceive lusty beauty as we are not given with options…this again proves that BEAUTY IS A PERCEPTION…

People who are beautiful at 20 do not appear to be beautiful at 40 after two child deliveries…so, where is the beauty on the object???

A person who is appearing too beautiful, gorgeous and glamorous does not appear to be beautiful once the lust thirst is quenched…so, where is the beauty on the object???...again the person appears beautiful when the body feels lusty again!!!...what does this prove?

Many such arguments can be given…no time to type now…

For e.g I have never felt Aishwarya Roy as beautiful, both lustily and spiritually…whereas the whole world feels she is beautiful, world beauty etc…as I mentioned earlier, the ego that is visible in her body gestures that ‘I am beautiful’ removes the cuteness and innocence and of course beauty also!!

I can go on and on typing endlessly on this issue…on various perspectives or dimensions…due to paucity of time and growing length of the post I am stopping here…we will see more later…

rams

hmmmmmmmmmm.....

Dear all...this is the cry of many girls..."Oh guys!! when we live peacefully looking after our life, you guys come, catch our legs, cry saying you all love us tooo deeply etc...we feel sympathy, pitty and finally 'fall' in love with you guys deeply, after that, you guys show off toooo much without giving much of attention to us, neglecting us, making us to catch your feet and beg for your love....is it correct??'
rams

simple sources of peace and happiness which go unnoticed...

Dear all...sooooo many of these flowers get crushed under our feet every day....have we ever picked them up and enjoyed the way Nature has carved them on plants and coloured them so beautifully!!
If we had done that, if we had looked at the stars each night, we would have lived differently and realized that there are much more things to do on this earth every moment than what we do all day and night!!
rams

regarding various types of pleasures....

Hai all...some thing which i read, with my masala added, is here...

we are blissful and happy and joyful when we abide in our Self!

there are 5 fluctuations of the mind:

1. Needing proof for everything - Logic is limited! Whatever that can be proved can also be disproved. Truth is beyond limited logic....but beware of the exploiters of this fact!!

2. Wrong Knowledge - ie Projecting our ideas and thoughts and perceptions on whatever situation, events and people we face!

3. Fantasy and Hallucinations

4. Sleep - or sleepy state

5. Remembrances of all our old memories or living in the past.

When all of the above 5 modifications of our mind exist, we may lose our inner joy, peace and bliss!

So Yoga is all about getting rid of all these mind modulations so that we stay in the present and in our natural joyful, peaceful, blissful state.

Discipline of mind is needed so that we are always joyful.

Some pleasures look good at first but will ultimately lead to misery - Rajasic

Some pleasures were never good at all and will only bring misery from start to finish - Tamasic

Some pleasures are ever lasting but may be difficult in the beginning - Saativic.

So we need to have discipline to pursue saatvic pleasures"

peacefully yours...rams

all flowers are beautiful, the way all human beings are...

Dear all...flowers are always beautiful, like human beings...whether they are cheap road side flowers of slums...or rich man's garden flowers of rare and special variety...they de-stress, radiate peace, happiness, colours, fragrance (which does wonders inside the mind and then the body!!) and what not!!

Only thing is we should have the empty mind to appreciate all these...enjoy all these...'live' all these...

here are some roadside beauties...enjoy...

rams

we need to be Globally employable...so, all languages are important...

Dear all...SPECIALLY STUDENTS...our people are great confused people...they want their children to go for good jobs and earn a lot...and in this globalized industrial society where technology will dictate culture, beliefs, philosophy of life, life style, personalities of individuals, organisations and the technical-social and other dynamics, ENGLISH is the universal language and a must for all....

but they will say regional languages and national language are important and we should learn everything in these languages only...

No wonder many students in various states are all engineers, hold many qualifications, but are not employable, mainly due to lack of communication skills in english, which brings confidence to talk to people, discuss anything, a high status feeling in the mind, power to rule the teams-groups-societies-organisations...in totality contributes for SELF-CONCEPT!!

and they are highly emotional and sensitive too with respect to this issue...

mostly the 60s and 80s at home and the confused-uneducated-unlearned-those obsessed with politicians insist on this ridiculous culture

the crux is...

1. identify yourself as a Global employee...Global student...learn all the important languages for employability and global socialisation...like english, spanish, chinese, french, german, japanese...(anything left out??)

2. learn regional languages and national language for socializing with local people

3. NEVER...NEVER...NEVER...get emotionally attached and get sensitized with languages as they are only tools of communication...cultures are for our happy, healthy and peaceful living...we are not for their existence!!

4. spoken language comes by speaking...written language comes by writing...so speak in english to those whom you speak more in a day, you will get that damn language!!...no special coaching required...beggars and slum dwellers learn by talking!!

rams

breathe-in keeps us calm and cool...breathe-out keeps us in the present...

Dear all...

all living organisms do not breathe...it is just air flows from high pressure to low pressure...only those who consciously breath in and out are those who breathe...

breathing in sends air to rare places in the lungs and activates all the alveoli and they and all the cells including neurons get plentttty of oxygen...so feel great, peaceful, calm and everything that is positive...

breath out takes out all the carbondioxide and all the rush of oxygen stops and all the stretched muscles come back to normal...again we feel cool and in the present...a great day starts with a great physical and mental exercise regime!!!...keep breathing!

It is 5.30 am now and my honey water session and fruit sessions are over...now i am going to my green forest for the run and walks...and of course, the kisses, hugs and romance with the God, The Nature!!

peacefully yours...rams...

any part of the body that is not exercised, used and maintained will die...

Dear all...any part of the body that is not exercised,used, maintained and activated will age faster, lose its glam, become breeding place for disease causing organisms, catch up with diseases and ailments etc and die faster.

few do exercises for the body...how many do exercise for the mind??

mind also ages fast, becomes breeding place for all the dirt and muck, negativeness and screws up the entire body with high BP, anger, frustration and all such negative emotions and thinking...breathing exercise, walks, runs etc gives plenty of oxygen to all the neurons...gives the ability and cool place for all the positives to blossom and grow...and you see sparks in your brain...in life...in relationships...and meditative living after these exercises makes our life and living great...once we radiate these, the life of others also become great...

have you seen any one who does regular exercise for the body and mind not radiating and living like a walking-coffin???

decision is ours!!

peacefully yours...rams...

simple philosophy of mine...which others also can follow...

Dear all...i don't see 'who said' i only see 'what is said'...i don't follow any one...i follow everyone and everything...anything that i am able to comprehend and feel, i accept...anything which i can not comprehend and feel has no meaning to me...i just leave it and go ahead...

rams

some pics...

Hai all...how about being a grass hopper here for a day...

green cool rams....

I was a Virus during my previous birth!!

Hai all....i was a virus in my last birth...woffffffff!!...soooo horrible...i saw crowded every where...not even an Angstrom space was left vacant...i saw every where only bacteria, virus, worms, human beings, plants, insects, sand, water, air and what not...but mostly bacteria and virus only covering the entire earth...and i could hear sounds from <1 Hz to severa Ghz...Jarrring!!....could smell every shit!!....can you imagine my life???...wofffffffffffffffff!! Got fed up!! All of you think that the life a virus is King size...can you now imagine my life!!...then i ran to Lord Brahma...the way every one runs from Demons to Dames...requested him to make me a 'human being' and that is how i am here now!!...Being a human being is much better life!!

---haa..haa..haa...if we can see everything around us....can hear all frequencies.....this is how it will be...good that we see only few...we hear only few...

virus rams!!

what is funda'mental'ly wrong here???

Hai all...our culture, life, philosophy, living etc etc are alllllllllllllll 'fear' based...
there is something wrong fundamentally in our understanding of life. Our parents, community, religions have told us 'life is a struggle!'...
because the kings, politicians, rulers, religious lived a rich life and made the commoners to struggle for basics...whereas if our understanding and teaching has been 'life is a fun.

Life is to enjoy. Life is a process of l'earning'. Earning to live is by product of learning'. If this was taught to us then we will not perceive life as 'struggle'.
This perception gives sadness, anxiety, depressed thoughts as struggle has negative connotation. The other one which i said has positive connotation. So, all our perceptions will be positive, happy, peaceful, contended etc.
Therefore, let us unlearn our old things taught by power and wealth mongers and learn the true, positive and new things
1. Life is not a struggle. It is fun full of happiness, peace and contentment.
2. truly speaking animals are not struggling. They get what they want as they don't have mind needs, they are happy and peaceful. They don't need a doctor or psychiatrist or psychologist. Only we are struggling due to our greed of body and mind.
Have you seen any daily wage earner when he or she goes home on the road with a sad or crying face. No!!...they all go as a group cracking jokes, laughing etc. Have you seen any Manager or CEO or highly educated guy with peace of mind, without worries or anxiety...can they smile like that daily wage earner?...So, wealth or authority or power or fame or not the sources of happiness and peace...so, there is no struggle and just enjoy the life!!...
Let the gods start worrying about 'what happened to these human beings?...they don't need us anymore!!'...they have stopped coming to temples and giving loads of offerings and giving the list of their needs etc...they have become contended and peaceful...what is the magic?...who changed them?...what these religious leaders are doing?...why they have not kept them in fear, anxiety, sadness etc so that they and we have some jobs to do!! who told them that life is not struggle?..who made them to think?"....haa..haa..haaaa!!....
rams

simple philosophy...

Hai all...We, the part of Nature -The God...!!
so, being with rest of the element of Nature, is being with God!!
With Nature, we feel happy, peaceful, contended and healthy - the Four pillars of Life!!

Which make my Religion!!
peacefully yours...rams...health psychologist

 

don't follow your parents and predecessors...you will screw up your life...why?

Hai...the youth and children of India!!!

Our 'f' all culture is based on fear, wealth, flesh (word 'body' is too descent!), exploitation, false status, 'what others think', blind-emotions & sensitivities, disease prone life-style, greed, cunning, cheats, cheap entertainment, laziness etc.

No value for value systems, mind, love (sorry...here love means sex and i don't find an alternate word!!), health, wisdom, arts, skills, human nature, intelligence etc

Oh, youngsters and children, don't follow the culture what your parents and predecessors have left behind...follow what is there in the old vedic age books applying the brain!!

peacefully yours...rams....health psychologist!!

Who is responsible for our romantic moods?

Hai all...if you 1. get good uninterrupted enough night sleep 2. get good nutrition 3. get amazing physical and mental exercise regime 4. surround ourselves with good music, good thoughts, good reads, good green and clean environs, keep away stress, love and Nature we will automatically be spiritually romantic and lustily romantic!

if we keep our life style bad and all the shit in our mind and body, no one can help us to be romantic!!

Whereas we don't do any of these and put the onus or burden on the partner to keep us romantic!!!
Great people we are!!!

romantically yours...rams...health psychologist...

spending first hour of the day with Nature, silence, good breeze, clean air boosts our physical and mental energy...no diseases!!!

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the last copy-paste material from my ppt...'Life skills-understanding adolescence'...

Hai all...here is the last copy-paste from my ppt on 'Life Skills-Understanding Adolescence!'...read previous posts before reading this...

High emotionality, instability-due adaptations to high social pressures, new conditions, no training to face, new patterns of behaviour, new social expectations.

Adolescent emotions are intense, uncontrolled, seemingly irrational, irritable, easily excited and explode, don’t know how to control feelings,

Express anger by sulking, refusing to speak, loudly criticising those who angered them.

Get envious with those with more material possessions.

Might drop out of school to get material possessions.

Happy when romance going well, frustrated when goes wrong.

worries about academics and future - from IX to joining job…

Stressful social adjustments-they have to change/form relationships with opp. Sex ‘that never existed before’-a challenge because influence of peer group, changes in social behaviour, new social groupings, new values in friendship selection, social acceptance / rejection, selection of their leaders.

Peers have great influence on attitudes, speech, interests, appearance, dressing due ‘peers acceptance need’.

Join with peer group experiments in alcohol, drugs, tobacco, sex

Slowly peer group influence goes off-1. search for individual identity 2. tendency to narrow down friendships to small numbers.

Prefer relationships with opp. Sex. At its peak during high school years.
Social insight improves. Able to judge people better. Better adjustments in social situations and quarrel less.

Greater the social participation(dance, conversations, sports, games, parties), greater the social competency.

An oppurtunity to learn how to behave correctly in different social situations.

Self confidence is expressed in poise and ease in social situations.

Gangs of childhood gradually break up. Interests change from strenuous plays of childhood to less strenuous and more formal social activities. So, new social groups formed.

Social groups of boys larger and loosely knit.

Social groups of girls smaller and more sharply defined.

Popular social groups:

1. close friends/confidents – same sex, age, interests, abilities, highly influential, quarrel some times
2. cliques-groups of close friends of both sexes
3. crowds-cliques and groups of close friends.
4. Organised groups-adult directed youth groups formed by schools and community organisations to meet the social needs of those who do not belong to any cliques or crowds. Many come out by sixteen.
5. gangs-those who gain little satisfaction from organised groups may join a gang-main interest to compensate for peer rejection through anti social behaviour.

All these arise because they want ‘some one to be trusted, some to talk to, some one who is dependable’….and parents are not!!!

So, friendships change from childhood to adolescence to opp. Sex.

Friendships change at every age due change of interests.

Adolescents do not like adult interference in selection of friends.

Due to less experience with opp. Sex, they choose friends who turn out to be less congenial than they had thought, quarrel and break up.

Unrealistic concerning the standards they set up for their friends, feel critical of expectations not met, try to reform them, quarrels, break ups.

Social acceptance-have new values for acceptance. Depend on peer group values. They soon discover that ‘they are judged by the same standards by which they judge others’

No one trait or characteristic pattern of behaviour will guarantee social acceptance. Acceptance depends upon a constellation of traits and behaviour patterns.

No one trait or behaviour pattern alienates from their peers. There is a grouping of traits that makes others dislike and reject them.

Interests are different-recreational interests, social interests, personal interests, educational interests, vocational interests, religious interests, interest in status symbols.

That is all...here ends the behaviours of adolescents...

peacefully yours...rams...health psychologist.