Never celebrate the celebrities!!

Dear all...we can truly learn from others, improve ourselves, grow up in life and become achievers, make money, wealth and fame etc, get good people and relationships in our lives, only when...

1. when we don't follow people blindly.

2. when we don't keep focus on people, but keep our focus on what positives we perceive from their behaviours, thinking and feelings.

3. when we don't make them celebrities and bring-in separation but accept them as equals and be in good friendship with them.

4. when we don't celebrate the celebrities but learn the positives from their life, living and beliefs.

5. No real celebrities will like you and love you and your celebration of them if you don't learn positives from their lives.

6. Loving the fame of a celebrity (marrying them) for an identity and image or feeling of social acceptance or their money or security will not last long.

7. Celebrities are only to inspire us, motivate us, make us learn through our own positive perceptions about them and to become a celebrity ourselves but not to possess or marry or live with them.

8. Celebrating the celebrities all the time in our life will not fill the stomach of our body and that of our family members.

9. Celebrities know how to look after them and let us look after ourselves and our families.

10. Celebrities can become famous by themselves and they do not need us. If we want to make any one a celebrity, the right way is to learn positives from them and follow in our lives and radiate them in us through our thinking, feelings/emotions and behaviours.

11. Celebrities entertain us but don't like to be our entertainment only.

keep rocking...peacefully yours....rams!!

How to know if some one loves you?

Dear all...When a man truly loves you…

1. He will accept you as you are. He will never get angry with you. He will always have feeling of love, affection and compassion. You will always be his highest priority.

2. He will always think about you and your happiness and good health only.

3. He will always respect you, give all the freedom, make you laugh, but not laugh at you and will not tolerate others laughing at you.

4. He will make you confident, boost up the self concept and self esteem, make you walk majestic, support in all endeavours, inspire and encourage.

5. He will be possessive but never suspect you. He will never demand or control you. He will allow you to live in your space and privacy. He will not come in between your friendships and respect them too.

6. He will not show any difference in his love or feelings or emotions or thinking or behaviours about you, with you, even when his needs from you are not fulfilled EVER.

7. He will always find time for you. He will always encourage you to be independent and pursue your passion. He will always give the right guidance suitable for your happiness and good health.

8. He will not be dependent on you for anything ever.

9. He will always be a source of ‘feeling of acceptance, peace, happiness, fun, soulmate-ship’ for you always and ever.

10. You will miss him when he is not there, not only at the time of need.

So, be very clear as to who loves you!!

keep rocking...peacefully yours....rams!!

Who is that SOME ONE?

Dear all...SOME ONE....SOME ONE...SOME ONE...WHO IS THAT SOME ONE??...WHERE IS THAT SOME ONE??

Every one is 'wanted' and 'important' for some one on this earth...only thing is many have not found their 'some one'!

Every one's life is a great story which is not written. There are many great unwritten stories that get burnt on pyre or buried every day!!

Every one becomes an orphan missing that some one some time in life. Some miss that some one throughout their life!

Every one's life is great at least for some one!

Every one is the most beautiful person on this earth for some one!...some never see that person in their life!

Every one wants that some one who enlighten their life, free them from all worries and miseries of life, fill their life with abundance of everything and make them feel 'lived' and realise the meaning of life on this earth. But many do not meet that some one!

Life is a mistry...

keep rocking...peacefully yours...rams!!

Who are animals?

Dear all...Once upon a time there were no languages and no classifications of living organisms...during the process of evolution, we classified the living organisms into various categories and called ourselves 'human beings' with a tone to mean good people, godly people, heavenly people etc and named other organisms as 'animals' with a tone of dangerous or harmful or dirty or bad or negative living organisms.

But if we take a paper and write down the characteristics of animals they all are positive, great and soothing. And if we write down the characteristics of human beings, past and now, they are all negative, dangerous, harmful, scary etc i.e all negatives.

So, i think it is time now to rename or exchange the names with the other living organisms.

hihihi...we should be called as 'animals' and they should be called as 'human beings'!! (who knows, animals may be thinking us as 'animals'!!)

keep rocking...rams!!

nice one....

ha..haaa.haaaa...nice thinking...!!....we also don't give out oxygen, we only pollute the Nature, we only kill others....like this the harm that we do are endless....anything we do good for Nature or others, rather than being selfish!!!!...so, rightfully we also should be killed and fried like this chicken and eaten all crispy crispy!!...Rams!!

Clear cut distinction of LUST and LOVE....USEFUL FOR STUDENTS, PARENTS AND ADULTS!!

Dear all....USEFUL FOR STUDENTS, PARENTS AND ADULTS...long one, but you will be able to relate each word of it directly to your life and get clarity!!

Lots have been written about LOVE, LUST and RELATIONSHIPS…but which word, which phrase, which sentence strikes whom, when and how their life changes is not known…for every one different words, different phrases and different sentences strike and become an enlightening read. So, we go here again on those three words….to bring in more clarity and understanding and make our lives and relationships full of peace, happiness and good health.

LUST

Lust is a basic instinct, Nature created, never ending ‘survival need’ for entire life from birth to death, pleasure needs of the body, like food, water, air, sex, protection for body (clothes, house etc), other comfort needs or ‘wants’ of the body or 'social status projections' which are linked to the mind too (ornaments, car, good status giving costly fashion statement clothes, fashion accessories, physical intimacies, palace like living place with ultimate comforts etc), has craving tendencies, does not think about shame, legal and social issues, has no fear, drives a person to commit crimes and enter into others’ envelope of privacy-security-happiness-peace etc, it does not bother about others, selfish-need, creates all sorts of negative thinking-emotions-behaviours and affects the social relationships…
Lust can give only pleasure (temporary in nature…even if some one perceives divine feeling in orgasm or ecstasy) and not happiness (permanent in nature).

Lust is the main issue in life that steals away our peace, happiness, physical-mental and social health, contentment and the entire damn life and living!!

As lust is never ending and asks for more and more when it gets satiated, it creates the GREED for lust needs. So, we keep running for money, wealth,sex, variety in sex (land, house, car, gold, ornaments, precious stones, costly clothes, all costly comforts etc) and all movable and immovable properties.

As lust is shameless, it makes our people to use crooked methods to steal the properties of others against the moral values and ethics, legal systems etc.

Some needs of the mind (e.g fame, authority, power, ego satisfaction, social status, promotions etc), when we try to achieve them through the lust sources (e.g money, wealth and other movable and immovable properties), then it also falls in the category of lust needs. It pushes us to craving and greed and gives only a pleasure for some time. So, we never become permanently happy and therefore, we get a void empty feeling after some time. It pushes us to loneliness, sadness and frustration. Some hate these after some time, as they feel, these have stolen their peace, people, happiness and health.

We should fulfill all our lust needs by our ownselves so that there is no possessiveness issue with respect to lust needs in us. But our culture and our way of living is such that we are dependent upon others for all our lust needs, which has to be changed. We go to others and establish relationships for satisfaction of these needs.

As they are never ending and have craving tendencies, our expectations, demands and needs for these from others, and others’ inability to meet these needs of ours every time to our satisfaction levels keeps increasing and causes all the sadness, frustration, anger, break-ups etc.

Also we develop a need for security (so that we get them throughout our life) of these lust needs from our sources, that we tend to become possessive of these sources and start demanding and controlling them, thereby making their life miserable.

So, when we make relationships for satiation of our lust needs (survival) and lust wants (comforts), then we will have no peace, no happiness, no good physical-mental and social well-being, no contentment and our life will be miserable each moment. We will get short times of pleasures and feel happy in such a relationships only for brief times and most of the time we will be unhappy, sad, fighting with anger etc which results in physical or mental or social or legal break-up, temporarily or permanently.

Also lust needs become monotony after some time that Nature drives the people for variety…of food, water (clean, different tastes, flavours etc), house, car-bike etc, sex, clothes etc.

If we go to more people and make more relationships for satiation of our lust needs then we want variety in such relationships too. So, we are not satisfied with one relationship where we get only one type, level or monotonous pleasure of lust needs/wants. We get bored after some time. The brain becomes complacent of the person and the relationship as the brain takes things/people/relationships that are already available for granted that they will be always available for entire life time and keeps looking for new, more and variety. When we go to more relationships with people, the possessiveness of others results in break-ups with old relationships with its associated mental and physical agony and losses (peace, health, financial, social, emotional, job, wealth etc).

People show caring or loving thinking-emotions-feelings and behaviours with others from whom they want satiation of lust needs. In most cases they don’t know that they are getting attracted to others for their lust needs. In many cases it is well planned, strategic and a conscious effort of going physically, mentally and socially close to people with an aim to attract them for making relationships for satiation of their lust needs. Others also believe and feel it is love, fall for them, sacrifice their wealth-money-health-peace and all their possessions and finally feel cheated when they leave them.

Unfortunately our old marriage system or family system is basically for satiation of the lust needs of food, water, shelter, emotional needs, sex, wealth, money etc, the culture never teaches or encourages satiation of all lust needs by themselves, believes that relationships can be made and sustained only when there is a dependency on others for the basic survival (lust) and comfort needs and it made all stigmas and social evils to make sure that this is achieved by forcing people to live in this marriage or family system. Therefore, people enjoyed only pleasures and felt that it is happiness due to lack of clarity of knowledge on these issues, therefore they kept on fighting with each other, craving for each other, greedy and possessive of each other while hating each other, not satisfied with each other, cheating each other through their strategies etc.

So, they never were peaceful, contented and happy. So, they were always emotionally weak and needed more of gods, god-men, gurus, holy books etc. But they never listened to these people or could follow their preaching or their books or scriptures also and continued living their ‘lust need dependency’ lives. Therefore, gods, temples and such other spiritual sources were only giving relieved feeling only that time and they were never sufficient, peace-giving etc permanently.

As our culture or society has not understood correctly the meaning of love, as they live on lust needs, the movies always portrayed love as a feeling of attracting or falling for other person consciously/knowingly or without their knowledge for satiation of their lust needs. Therefore, such loves or traditional marriages gave only short pleasures for some time, till the craving or arousal lasted, children grew up etc.

Many left the marriage or relationship mentally or physically or socially or legally after their pleasure times. They took up responsibilities, showed loving and caring behaviours, said all those sugar coated-poetic-melting-soul filling promises and statements of love, gratitude, affection etc when they floated in their pleasure worlds. But when the pleasure needs are lost or when the source became incapable of giving satiable-pleasure, they became irresponsible, looked for varieties outside, made relationships etc.

When the lust needs are not satisfied the human being becomes an animal and starts torturing, abusing, threatening, beating, assaulting and killing the other person. Where is the love here??

Some people whose moral and ethical value systems are high, get a feeling of COMMITMENT to those and the relationships which meet their lust need satiation. So, they feel committed to their people and relationships. They maintain their family system or marriage irrespective of satiation of their lust needs. Some also maintain the marriage or family system for the fears of various dimensions and types. Some maintain to avoid problems in life and are ok with it even if the person or relationship does not satiate their lust needs. Here again there is no emotional love but only a sense of commitment for the memories, moments, sacrifices and compromises, services rendered-being rendered and will be rendered by the other person.

Some did fall in love truly also.

Therefore, the crux is…

1. Lust is the source of all agonies in our lives when we depend on their satiation from others…When we make relationships with others for satiation of our lust needs.

2. Lust is a Nature driven, unavoidable basic need of our body and mind. Peace, contentment, happiness and health are retained through lust when we satiate these needs by ourselves.

3. As it is mostly from body, if we follow a healthy life style, eat only natural and healthy foods, then we can make our body self regulating that it will not demand more from us and we will be able to meet all our lust needs by ourselves without stressing and stretching ourselves and our physical-mental and social resources beyond our capabilities. Also the body will become self regulating that it will find its resources sufficient enough to modify or fulfill the lust needs on its own.

4. Spiritual learning of what life is, what living should be to meet this definition of life, knowledge, wisdom and clear distinction about the lust and love helps us to keep the lust needs under check or keep our body and mind away from the cravings of lust needs.

5. WE are made up of our BODY and MIND and only these create all pains, pleasures, happiness etc. Peace and contentment comes out of these two only. After all everything in life is OUR OWN PERCEPTION CREATED BY OUR OWN BODY AND MIND.

6. Going for people or relationships for satiation of lust needs is not correct, it is wrong and can not be fulfilling.

LOVE

Love is none of the things listed above!!!

It is ‘caring’ for others without any expectation of any type of lust need satiation.

Love is a positive method of getting a ‘Feeling of Acceptance’, high self concept, high self esteem through caring for others.

Caring to make others lazy and dependent on others is not love. Caring to motivate and inspire others is love.

A love is a love, or cry of the heart or soul, only when it is beyond the needs listed above. Otherwise any cry of the heart or soul is not love and going behind some one saying all these will only result in devastation!

Love is the basic purpose of living and life on this earth…i.e caring for others, all living beings and Nature around, without expectations.

Love is always unconditional and there is nothing known as unconditional love.

Anything which is not falling in the ambit of these is not love.

No organism can live peacefully, healthily and contented without an element of love in its life and living. But if their entire life is only love or their life is full of love only, then it is the best and ideal state of existence and living.

Devotional love falls in this category of love.

Love does not hate others. It does not fear anything.

Love springs on its own as it is the basic nature of all living organisms. Love has no negative thinking or emotions or feelings or behaviours. Only lust has all these negatives and when love mixes and exists with lust, then only all these negatives exist.

Love can give only happiness which is ever permanent.

Love does not give cravings and it only gives a longing feeling which does not affect our health or happiness but directs us towards exploring the people, relationships, unlimited earth, universe, knowledge and wisdom towards radiation of peace, happiness, health, contentment, self actualisation and self transcending.

Remaining isolated from human beings can not give us happiness, good health, peace and contentment as they are very much part of Nature, but connected with them through this actual love (without all that listed above about LUST) is the way to find peace, health, happiness, contentment and meaning of life and living on this earth.

Therefore, the crux is…

1. Know what is lust and love clearly as described above.

2. Establish relationships with people only for love as defined above.

3. Don’t go to people for lust. Go for only love.

4. Make families, homes, marriages with love so that these social systems exist for giving us satisfaction and meaning for life. Don’t make families, homes, marriages, relationships, relatives etc for lust needs, the way our ancestors have created them.

5. All the old people saying that Western Culture has spoiled our youngsters, homes, marriages, our culture, families etc is wrong. All these are failing as the understanding of our ancestors about love and lust, relationships etc are wrong and our ancestors have not created them with a strong base and ingredients of true love, peace and happiness and they filled it with all social evils and pleasures. Therefore, they always evolved with more spoilers of peace, happiness and health. Movies and TV serials added fuel to the fire.

Keep rocking....Peacefully yours...Rams...Health Psychologist!!

When we lose ourselves in our 'act', we produce the best, enjoy the best, bring out our best, feel contentment and best use of life time...including in our RELATIONSHIPS, LOVE ETC.

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...ESPECIALLY FOR STUDENTS...

Anything we do, we need to lose ourselves in that. We need to dissolve ourselves. What we do should become our breathe and food. What we do should not come from within us, it should be felt that it is coming from some where else...that the brain is not directing the body parts....that they are being directed from somewhere by some one and they are just doing that without the knowledge of the self, consciousness etc!...It should result in no conscious of time, place, surroundings, hunger, thirst, sleep and all the basic Natural instincts of the body. Our conscious mind should get switched off. The creative/imaginative/fantasy part of mind should become highly active. Our thinking mind should marry the creative mind. Only then the result or output can become the best or masterpiece or wold-wonder!!

It also makes us to live in THE PRESENT, which is the best state of mind, gives a healthy mind, isolates us from the evils of the surroundings-society-culture. It also helps us to increase the concentration power. Unless we are dedicated and we like what we are doing, we can not lose ourselves in that. If we can not lose ourselves in that then it can not become the best work of ours. That means we have not done the job to our best and still miles to go for us in quality.

When we lose ourselves and do a job, then it become a meditation, 'thavam', prayer, focused-mind. No external influences can distract the mind. The mind becomes powerful in this state.

If we dance, we should lose ourselves in the 'dance'.
If we paint, we should lose ourselves in the 'painting'.
If we are involved in carving a sculpture, we should get lost in 'sculpturing'.
If we watching a movie, we should get lost in the 'movie'.
If we are reading a book, we should get lost in the 'reading'.
If we are writing a poem, we should get lost in our fantasy world that is pouring the words for the poem from eternity.

i.e we should get lost in the ACT and get involved deeply in the PROCESS and OUR OWN CREATIVITY, THINKING, EMOTIONS AND BEHAVIOURS.

In the same way, when we are involved in a relationship WE SHOULD LOSE OURSELVES IN THE RELATIONSHIP AND NOT WITH THAT PERSON. WHEN WE ARE IN LOVE WITH A PERSON, WE SHOULD LOSE OURSELVES IN THAT LOVE, NOT WITH THAT PERSON. WHEN WE FALL IN A RELATIONSHIP OR LOVE IT RELATES TO OUR THINKING, EMOTIONS AND BEHAVIOURS WHICH WILL ALWAYS BE POSITIVE, ENLIGHTENING AND ULTIMATE PLEASURE AND HAPPINESS, AS WE ARE SERVING OURSELVES.

WHEN WE FALL IN LOVE WITH A 'PERSON', then that person's thinking, emotions and behaviours will affect our thinking, emotions,behaviours, living, peace, happiness, physical-mental and social well-being, contentment and self actualisation.

so, the crux is...

1. We should get totally involved, dissolved and lost in what we 'do'
to make it the best of our life, potential, skills and creativity.

2. When we lose ourselves in the love or relationships too, focusing on our mind, our thinking, our behaviours, our emotions for our own experiencing of the pleasure or happiness or out-of-the-world experience, then we enjoy the best of the relationship or love. We become the creators of the best dance, or painting or sculptures, or poems or anything which is newly created. When we lose ourselves in The Nature, we feel the best of the feeling, get enlightened, get solutions for many issues or problems or mysteries of life out of the out-of-the-world experience of thinking, making us to love others better and feel only positives, happiness, peace and contentment.

3. When we focus on the 'person', we get all negatives and can not feel the best in the relationship. We can never be happy, peaceful, healthy and contented with the relationship.

4. so, what we do, how we do, how much we are involved is more important that the person involved in that.

5. We need to be DEVOTED in what we do including our love or relationships. Therefore, DEVOTEE kind of relationship is the best for contentment, peace, good health, self actualisation and enlightenment in the relationship, living and life!!

Keep rocking...Peacefully yours...Rams...Health Psychologist.

"Never waste your feelings on those who do not value them" (????)

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL THOSE IN EMOTIONAL RELATIONSHIPS.....

i read the following lines today in facebook...

"Never waste your feelings
on those who do not value them"

this condition occurs when the need states/relationships perceived do not match with the two people in relationship.

today every one comes across people every where...more on internet!!

they communicate/socialise with each other at school or college or social setting or office or some place where they meet regularly (bus stand/metro/road etc) or social networks or at some place in internet/cyberspace....and if there is some commonality of interests or personality traits or SOME COMMONALITY WHICH GIVES THEM PLEASURE OR HAPPINESS...and liking for each other...then SOME relationship is formed between them....

here comes the issue....

EACH ONE PERCEIVES THE RELATIONSHIP THAT THEY MISS IN THEIR LIFE WITH EMOTIONS, FEELINGS, CARING BEHAVIOURS RELEVANT TO THAT RELATIONSHIP.

if the relationship perceived by both are compatible to each other, then there is no problem...

If not compatible, then there is a serious problem!!!!

The biggest mistry is in many cases the person does not know what sort of a relationship it will mature into!...It all depends upon their needs, relationship dynamics etc.

Generally the girls are clear about their relationship with the other person. But boys are generally not clear on this (e.g they say 'sister' and later say 'lover').

Most of the adolescent relationships are FILMY LOVE. Filmy love assumes physical intimacies by default.

Films play a great role in educating almost every one in our culture/country as to WHAT IS LOVE!...Every one almost understands it as only AN EMOTIONAL RELATIONSHIP WHICH INVOLVES PHYSICAL INTIMACIES. It is an undefined relationship in text books, not taught or learnt formally, traditionally considered as an 'unacceptable social relationship' outside marriage-'dirty word' etc. Acceptable and liked by unmarried but generally not accepted and un-liked by parents. Enjoyed by all as an entertainment in movies but not accepted in real life. It is considered as a 'pleasure- tool'. Our culture believes that two unknown people can become lovers when they live together sharing their life and living processes at home.

Some films portray the boy sexually abusing/murdering the girl when she does not (filmy) love him. Many portray that boys do not consider the girls as equals with the same kind of aspirations, feelings, self respect, self esteem etc. As films generally portray the culture around, this is certainly not a healthy culture.

Every day several sexual crimes takes place in our country, due to one sided love, many do not get reported, those which are unavoidable get reported.

THESE ARE NOT LOVE. LOVE IS CARING. WHEN SOME ONE REALLY CARES, HE/SHE CAN NOT THINK OF CAUSING ANY HARM TO THE OTHER PERSON WHOM HE/SHE IS CARING. WHEN IT IS ONLY NEGATIVE OBSESSION, POSSESSIVENESS FOR LUST etc THEN THE PERSON CAN THINK OF CAUSING HARM.

Now, going back to the fb post...

"Never waste your feelings
on those who do not value them"

1. Everyone, especially the adolescents, need to know WHAT IS LOVE, clearly without any doubts.

2. Caring (love) without any physical intimacies or uncomfortable physical intimacies (for the other person) or causing any harm directly or indirectly will be acceptable to all. Such a love will remain alive for a longer time.

2. They need to learn the Life Cycle of Relationships and understand the dynamics in any relationship.

3. They need to keep their need states self-regulated, by keeping good physical and mental health by eating healthy balanced diet, sleeping properly, entertaining in a healthy manner, following a sustainable health regime, not to keep a sedentary life style so that their mind is strong, clear, not confused, not in high 'need states', balanced, able to think rationally-logically-with common sense etc.

4. When it is one sided (filmy) love, then it is better that the person in love leaves the relationship like a good friend/human being.

5. It is better to observe a person over a long time before even starting any acquaintance. Even if felt ok and went ahead with communication or sharing of personal information, it is important to monitor/be conscious of the dynamics of relationship, thoughts-feelings and behaviours of the other person, whether the relationship perceived by the other person is ok or not.

6. Never make any commitment and peel off in case it is not moving towards any state of discomfort in anyway. Never feel pity for the other person. Negative obsession is not love. In most of the cases, it is only a disorder needing treatment, but sadly people believe it to be true love, divine love etc and fall prey to a patient and cry for life or get ruined physically, mentally and socially.

7. Every one who is interested in the other person, 'cares' (loves) by Natural instinct or with conscious efforts (like in films, to make the other person to feel pity or fall in love etc) to attract the attention, to fall pity, to start the communication, to bring in proximity, to bring closeness (physically or mentally). If it is for LUST then such a person can not 'care' and endure the caring over many years in an environment of non-fulfillment of their need-satiation. But if a person really cares, then it will show up over many years, beyond needs, wants and expectations. So, wait for at least 7 to 10 years. PATIENCE IS IMPORTANT IN LOVE. TIME IS THE BEST SOLUTION FOR MANY ISSUES IN LOVE.

8. It is better to have only healthy friendships till 25 years of age and have fences and boundaries.

9. It is sad that Indian culture sees girls as only objects-of-pleasure and servants to service self and all at home. Therefore, it is important for girls to learn how to protect themselves.

10. It is wiser to fall in love with their passion, profession, ambitions, aims and goals in life, art forms, pets, Nature, their own self etc which makes them to think about only these and not about people around.

Keep rocking....Peacefully yours...Rams...Health Psychologist!!

AN IMPORTANT POST FOR PEOPLE OF ALL AGES TO LIVE PEACEFULLY ON EARTH!!

Dear all...THIS IS AN IMPORTANT POST FOR ALL...ESPECIALLY FOR ALL THOSE BETWEEN THE AGE OF 13 TO 25...I ASSURE AN ENLIGHTENING FEELING DURING READING AND AT THE END.

Today internet has become part of every child's life from birth, as it grows seeing high tech gadgets in the hands of every one at home from the time of birth!

It becomes part of internet probably from age 1 on wards and a part of social networking from age 5 or 6!

It is a new e-world for them which did not exist for their parents and grandparents at home and therefore the elders may not understand the psyche of such children....generation gap!!

As most of the babies are/will be single child, and single parent groomed, mostly by the mother, in the practical sense, they are likely to break the dam and flow like a gushing dam water in to the world of social relationships. They will find their brothers, sisters, father, friends, uncles, lovers, spouse, soulmates in the oceanic outside world. At the press of the button new relationships will get formed in no time. They will be a part of the new big family called 'earth'. The concept of 'relatives' will be redefined. This situation of social networking..i.e ease, speed etc will only increase and improve with advancing technology (e.g Internet of Things (IOT)).

Therefore, in this new world, It is a challenge for them to contain the emotions, relationships etc and therefore they will emotionally grow, develop and mature faster, provided they know and are able to handle people and relationships...thinking, emotions and behaviours....in a positive manner!!

As they keep moving from place to place, due to transfers of parents, change of schools/colleges, work places, they will lose some friends, gain some new relationships. Some will remain as acquaintance and whereas some might become strong emotional relationships.

The depth and effect of some relationships are not understood till they are lost. Some such lost emotional-strong and deep relationships might surface later in life and can become strong again.

Some may be physical and some may be fantasy and some may be non-physical but highly emotional.

The parents can not control the children and it is not possible. Only thing is they should teach 'Relationship Management' to children, provided they themselves know it. Fears and scaring the children is no use.

Schools and colleges should teach this subject from childhood using experts.

As i mentioned yesterday LUST...LOVE...PLEASURE... HAPPINESS...VARIETY NEEDS in all these and everything including RELATIONSHIPS... are Nature created, never ending till death!!

Guilt and Possessiveness, again created by Nature, will work against these and create lots of problems in life. Honesty, believing a person and relationships, trusting a person will all be in shambles.

Good human beings and Fake-good-human beings will continue to attract every one. Perception of cheating will become part of every day living and life.

So, unless one is groomed from childhood with high Emotional Quotient and Spiritual Quotient packed life style, habits, routines and chores, it is almost impossible for a person to live in peace, good health, happiness and contentment!!

First, the parents need to be taught by experts on this subject, as they themselves are a big 'hole' in this. The definition of spirituality is all a big farce here!!

In short......

Every human being will come across many people in their lives and form new relationships. Every relationship has following stages:-

(i) Initial curiosity filled stage of knowing the other person

(ii) happiness filled second phase of opening out and revealing
everything about us to the other person

(iii) pleasure and fun filled third phase of enjoying the life together. Every day is a honey moon full of stars, gifts, kisses, hugs, surprises, wonders and what not!!...Thinking that 'He or she is the ultimate person on earth i was waiting for!...Ours is the best relationship on earth!!...He or She is my soulmate and we have been created for each other!!!...No one can break this relationship!...It will live for eternity!!...It is beyond the perception or definition of human beings!!'

This is the phase of life where one becomes poet, writer, painter and all sorts of art performers. It is a fantasy filled phase where reality takes the back seat. Both of them think what they are doing is all right. They think they are listening to their heart and passion and following them. The world and earth looks beautiful during this phase. They get their ultimate feeling of this relationship. Whether they are married or unmarried.

(iv) The fourth stage is the most painful stage. It is full of boredom as nothing new, no variety, no surprises, no stars, no gifts, no kisses and hugs. Both the people know in and out of the other person and life and relationship become dull and boring. No fun. But the need for lust (money, wealth, comforts, expansion, hugs, kisses, foreplay, sex etc), love (caring, affection, support and security in all aspects of life and living), variety in all these never ends.

As time passes, as they age, as they grow, evolve and mature, they change physically, mentally and socially. Their wants, needs, expectations change. The charm of physical appearance, attraction, arousal, style etc goes off. They reach a state of nothing to talk, nothing in common, there is a difference of opinion in every thing, each considers the other as life-less, dull, lazy, useless, negative, they keep fighting, shouting, finding fault with each other for every small thing in life, in fact when one talks the other does not like, he/she hates, one feels silence or absence of the other person is better, some also feel 'when will he/she die!!'.

In the case of school or college age also it is almost the same.

(v) The fifth stage is the painful stage. Possessiveness which comes at the end of third stage, as the organism wants all the pleasures of third phase for entire life time, the security need, makes the person to be suspicious, monitor, police, check the other person. The mobile, emails, all personal gadgets and belongings, living and office spaces get checked, monitored and the person becomes a criminal detective expert!!...One person thinks that the other person will break the trust, honesty code and break the beliefs, promises etc and go to some other person which would result in loss of money, property, social status, emotional and physical support, legal support etc. The very thinking of this makes the person devastated and the negative thinking, emotions and behaviours become prominent in policing, monitoring and suspicion leading to fights, shouts, cries and finally breakup mentally or physically or socially or legally!!

In married life the first three stages come immediately after marriage and lasts for about 10 or a maximum of 15 years. Approximately the fourth stage comes at 40s and fifth stage during 50s when the body parts, systems start giving up. This leads to depression, sorrows, frustration loneliness etc.

(vi) The sixth stage is another wonderful phase of life...i.e finding another new person and a new relationship!!...The life starts afresh with all new First Phase!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(vii) The repetition of phases continue till they reach the fifth stage of this new relationship.

After that what??????....The cycle repeats with the arrival of new person...new relationship....and the life goes on and on with lots of fun, learning, wisdom, people, relationships!!!...Every person becomes a wealth of experience in relationships...but outdated for every young person on earth!!!

Woffffffffffffffffffff.....is there any solution for this and escape from this??

1. One has to be groomed with strong EQ and SQ building life style and it should be a part of their every day living.

2. We should understand The Nature and its dynamics as described above...the above facts of life, living, people and relationships.

3. One should be self dependent for everything in life.

4. One should remain attached and detached with people and relationships.

5. Yoga, meditation, good physical-mental and social exercise regime, pets, art forms, passion, living in THE PRESENT, living dissolved in THE NATURE etc should be part of our lives.

6. One should limit the relationship at third stage itself, whether married or unmarried, and pursue DEVOTEE kind of relationship with their people of life...i.e 'I like and love my person for eternity, beyond my needs, wants and expectations. I will not demand and control anything from/of that person in any aspect of life. I feel peace, happiness and contentment from the very fact of thinking about that person. The other person's (spouse, children, parents, friends, siblings...all!!) thinking, emotions, behaviours, activities, decisions, the people in his/her life and his/ her relationships with them can not affect me or my living or my life.I am well protected in my peace, happiness, health, contentment, self actualisation and self transcending way of life and living through my pets, passion, art forms, profession, The Nature, my own memories, my moments, my place, my house etc.'

7. From the age of 5 to 25, one will know whether they can sustain any relationship at least for 20 years (till the children become adults). If they feel their life experiences or their personality traits can not sustain a relationship for that long, then it is better to remain unmarried or get married but live with out producing children. The world is going to evolve with new forms of old age support systems etc.

8. Parents should come out of traditional, redundant, outlived belief that 'every one born on this earth has to get married for life and living support'.

Keep rocking...Peacefully yours...Rams...Health Psychologist!!

Temples increasing...gods increasing...people related to god and spirituality increasing...pleasure increasing...peace, happiness, health decreasing(???)...whyyyyyyy?

All over the world temples are increasing, gods are increasing, people related to god and spirituality are increasing...nothing wrong in all these...it is a welcome change only...but the peace, health and happiness are decreasing...only pleasures are increasing...only when we have peace, happiness, good physical-mental-social well being, contentment and self actualisation, and all other living organisms and earth are protected by us, the true sense of SPIRITUALITY would have born on this earth!!....Rams!!



Balaji Temple opened today in New Jersey, USA.
Cost 100 crores & Built in 125 acres of land. 

THIS IS FOR ALL THOSE AT SENIOR MANAGEMENT OR LEADERSHIP LEVELS....OF COURSE, THOSE IN MIDDLE MANAGEMENT AND IN TEENS ALSO.

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL THOSE AT SENIOR MANAGEMENT OR LEADERSHIP LEVELS....OF COURSE, THOSE IN MIDDLE MANAGEMENT AND IN TEENS ALSO...

It is sad and disheartening to see that many in senior management and leadership have acquired their unhealthy life styles (smoking, drinking, no exercise, unhealthy eating, during their adolescent times ("Window of Vulnerability" in life!), have picked up Type A Personality Disorders like ulcer, constipation, other digestive system related diseases, metabolic and life style diseases like diabetes, hypertension, blocks in blood vessels, stents, kidney stones, liver problems, heart problems, respiratory problems, sleeplessness, obesity etc and living on life support systems like pills and other gadgets.

The middle management is also taking them as Role Models and following their life style to grave!!

As they are fathers too, their children in adolescent age, are following them with all these life styles thinking that it is right.

Unfortunately, these 'pleasurable' habits catch up and spread to others easily and fast like communicable diseases, as human beings get inspired, motivated and pick up pleasure giving behaviours fast.

They say that these give them focus, high energy, keeps them away from tiredness and sleep, gives the boost of pumped up energies, peps them up, keeps them active and alert, helps to work for long hours etc.

But the truth is yoga asanas, meditation, good walks in natural environs, breathing exercises, gym exercises, eating fresh water rich less starchy fruits, leaves, stems etc gives them much more freshness, high focus and all that listed above while keeping them fit, healthy, strong in body and mind, long life, free from ailments-diseases-disorders, slow aging, young looks, attractive,high libido, good family life, radiant of peace, happiness, good health, contentment, enlightenment etc.

While the wrong life style gives them fast burning, fast aging, early death, heart attacks, sadness, anger, frustration (as body does not cooperate with their mind aspirations at the later stage), less libido and all related issues related to gynaec system, less satisfaction in family life which pushes them to more addiction to the negative life styles which they have been following, loneliness, depression, children not doing well in studies-profession-family life-social life etc.

The truth is the smoking, drinking, eating garbage which starts during adolescent stage for peer group acceptance, showing manly-adult-hero looks in appearance and behaviours to opposite sex becomes a stress bursting, pleasure seeking, coping skill and time pass behaviours in the middle age and takes them to grave early in their 40s or 50s or makes them walking-coffins in their 60s.

So, let us wake up young buddies...don't follow your seniors as role models in negative life styles. Pick up only their positive personality factors and change them if possible with your positive life style!!

Peacefully yours.....Rams....Health Psychologist!!

'sir, people say i have got psychiatric problem...am i alright?...do i need treatment?...I feel many around me are not alright and need treatment...who is healthy and who is not healthy?'

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...every one seems to be 'alright' (i.e mentally healthy) for them...every one seems to be 'not alright' in the views of others and they think he or she needs treatment...then who is alright and who is not...how to know this?

Any one who is in reality, not in fantasy world, with respect to decisions which involves the peace, happiness and health of others, who is able to sit calm, cool, quiet and think rationally, logically, ethically, socially, legally and all other 'ly's, with the id, ego and super -ego components of mind in balance, is able to sit cool and assess, evaluate, weigh the pros and cons, considering all the factors (i.e constants, dependent and independent variables), stake holders etc and takes a decision that is optimal, is mentally healthy and is alright. He or she does not require any treatment of any form.

One who thinks the above statement is not right probably requires some form of medical or counseling treatment (being an engineer, i would not call it as treatment, as the word treatment brings a negative connotation with stigma attached, but as 'Behaviour Technology Training'...i.e they need some training to live in peace, happiness, contented living and good health!)

Those who are unable to do the above also need the 'training'.

Those who are not able to do their chores at office, home and in society, get all negative thoughts, feelings and behaviours, upset and feel depressed or down over longer times in a day and feel this repeatedly (i.e how long it lasts and how frequently the attack occurs) over many days require the 'training'.

keep rocking....Rams....Health Psychologist!!

'sir, i am attending interviews but not getting any job. I am confused whether i should go for IT job or core job. I am scared. Please help me!!'

Dear all...THIS IS FOR STUDENTS AND THEIR PARENTS...

Every one wants a job and every parent is worried if their ward will get a good job and settle in life faster.

We need to understand that just a degree certificate can not get us a job. It is the knowledge, professional and personality skill sets and experience we have that will get us a job!...So, we need to quality ourselves to be 'employable' with all these.

Every job requires a specific kind of knowledge, skill sets and experience. Every human being has a specific set of knowledge, skill sets and professional or personal experience in life. If both match, then they get that job. Else No!!

So, we need to understand that one can not get all types of jobs. Many get depressed if they don't get a job in campus placement or outside campus placement. It is not correct. It only means that the person does not possess the required things for 'that' job at that moment. That is all. If we want that job again or in a different organisation or same 'kind' of job, then one has to prepare hard to acquire that knowledge, skill sets and experience. That is all. If not now, in the next interview or later they can get such kind of job.

If one wants to get a core job or IT industry job or job in entertainment industry or any other industry, then one has to google, talk to experts in that industry and find out the things they need to posses...the 'employability' requirements in that industry...and accordingly focus and prepare hard to acquire them, so that they get employed in that industry. ('industry' is not one organisation, it is a group of organisations which provide products or services with 'similarities'.)

Just possessing the qualities is not enough. It only makes the person to get inside the interview hall. But in a competitive environment where lakhs appear for few jobs, we have to have 'higher competency levels' in the core knowledge or skill sets.

so...

1. Never get upset if you don't get a job. Every one can not get every job. It does not mean you can not do well in life or can not get any job. You can get the same job that you did not get after you acquire the employability needs and competency levels required for that job.

2. English is a common worldly professional language. So, good fluency, accent and style are vital. Even if you have 99% you may not get any job if you don't have fluency in English. Knowing more global languages is beneficial e.g spanish, chinese, german, french, japanese. Knowing only the Indian regional languages can not help to get a job.

3. Every interview gives you a learning experience of knowing where you are strong or weak. It shows where you need to concentrate and improve upon. So, no interview is a waste if you take the results positively to improve you further.

4. Every exam and interview requires a specific kind of preparation. Without focused, strategic and hard preparation we can not win any exam or interview. So, know what is required, and prepare well.

5. we need to be interested and strong in at least one subject of our course. Because the interviewer does not know where to start the professional interview, where you are strong at, so, after the routine first question 'tell me something about you and your family!' invariably the next routine question that he asks is 'which is your favourite subject?'. If you are empty there, then they assess that you don't know anything, you are a 'surface-grazer', don't have the habit of going deep and wide in acquiring knowledge and knowing things and are hollow. If you are strong at your favourite subject then they get the basic confidence in you and move on for further probing.

6. Parents should stop spreading wrong assessments that 'engg is waste' 'all corruption every where' etc if their ward is not groomed or prepared for a job, by him/her and the institution. Parents should not 'grow' the children, but groom to face the outside world, get a job, adapt to everyone and every thing and blend easily and quickly. e.g many mothers make their children to get addicted to their food preparation that many children do not eat in hostels or work places, starve, lose weight, HB goes low, faint, get health problems, get psychological problems and leave their dream college, best course or the best job and come back home!!...Now all the hard work put in by all at home for good 15 years goes in the drain!!...Finally parents cry and take off all their steam on that child saying 'you are useless!!..a big waste!!' etc and make them psychiatric patients. What is the use of such parenting??

7. Where you study and what you study is not important. How you study and how you prepare for job interviews is what is important!!

8. Many get confused as to 'core job' or 'IT job' or 'Govt job' or 'Public sector job' or 'entertainment industry' or 'legal' or 'journalism'...the list is endless!!...Go to a psychologist or test yourself with standard tools available in net, find out your interests and skills in reality, not fantasy, and decide. If you are an outstanding student then probably you can focus on one type of job. But if you are an average student then it is better to write down the common knowledge and skills the companies or entrance exams look for, prepare hard on them, so that we are eligible for all types of interviews, industries and entrance exams. The uncommon topic knowledge or skills, probably we can improve upon further based on time availability and interests.

9. Today it is easy to change over to your passionable job or industry at any stage in life. Computers and IT provide the path way to enter into any field of our interest, as, both these have invaded every aspect of industry and life. Therefore, don't worry about the 'type' of first job. Just grab it, if you are an average student and the economy of family warrants you to work and earn or you want work experience or feel the job world.

10. If you are that high intelligent, high caliber, top ranker, all rounder variety then you may remain focused on your dream passion job and wait.

11. Anyway, we do that high tech job with our own hands only for the first few years. After that we only do 'management' of managing the projects, Human Resource in our team, etc.

All the best...

Keep rocking....Rams...Health Psychologist...

TRUST...HONESTY...BELIEVING...LOVE...LUST...VARIETY NEED...POSSESSIVENESS...GUILTY...GOOD HUMAN BEINGS...all these play a havoc in our life...how to be peaceful, happy and healthy amidst all these??

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...THOUGH IT IS A BIT LONG, BUT I ASSURE AN AWAKENING AND FANTASTIC FEELING WHILE READING EVERY WORD OF IT AND AFTER THE READ!!

THIS IS ABOUT THE ISSUES ON WHICH RELATIONSHIPS HANG.... TRUST?... TRUST??... TRUST???... BELIEVE?...HONESTY??...MOST OF THE ISSUES RELATED TO STRAINED OR BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS IS DUE TO BREACH OF TRUST OR HONESTY OR BELIEF.

Let us see some key words which are involved in our lives...

LUST...

It makes human beings to run behind money, wealth, comforts, body needs (food, water, air, sex and all physical contacts). It makes the individuals to show 'caring' (loving) behaviours called 'approaches' for satiation of their lust needs. Till the need exists, and satiation of lust is also achieved, the caring (Love) behaviours also exist. After the need goes off or the satiation of lust is stopped, caring (love) also stops. This is the story of 'Lust initiated Love' or caring.

When we say Lust we generally attribute it to sex. But it is all about PLEASURE needs. It includes the sources of all that give a 'feel good' factor for only some time and makes us to crave for them. When the sources are removed, then the 'pleasure' or 'feel good' factor is lost and we again 'crave' for it.

Lust is created by Nature, for satiation of body needs by self or through others. It is a basic survival need too. So, as long as the body exists, it will ask for food, water, air, basic body protection etc.

Physical contacts are a MUST for good mental health. They assure the mind that the person is not alone on earth, there is some one to take care off, there is some one to love them etc. This showers the neurotransmitters in brain and produces a very strong mind, healthy mind and balanced mind. It gives high self-concept, high self-esteem, courage to live and face the threats or challenges of life, Any amount of verbal or visual communication can not complete the perception of 'feeling of acceptance' needs. Without these the organism will undergo a 'feeling of rejection', will feel lonely, secretion of neurotransmitters will be less, mind will be weak, mind will not be balanced, the person will suffer depression and will finish the life. So, hugs, kisses and all types of physical contacts give reassurance for a person to live on this earth.

As long as a functional reproductive system exists in a body, it will ask or look or search or crave for the reproductive needs too. Human beings learn, be creative and sustain/repeat any behaviour that gives them 'pleasure'. While it disturbs their physical, mental and social health when the craving is more, it can be regulated by medicine, life style changes, coping skills etc.

When the lust ('id') needs are more, high, heavy craving, then the logical and reality thinking part of the brain gets switched off ('ego' and 'super ego'), the individual does not care about shame, future consequences etc and 'somehow' aims to achieve satiation of the lust needs. This results in crimes like theft, robbery, murders, sexual crimes etc and leads to legal and social issues.

LOVE...

It is all about 'caring' that gives the individual the 'feeling of acceptance' which is basic for good mental health as explained above. If love emanates from Lust then it will not last long.

If love emanates from the personality traits of an individual (intelligence, sense of humour, adaptability skills etc) then it lasts till the personality traits remain and the individual does not change. But all human beings change in their likes, dislikes, wants and needs, maturity, definition of life and living as they grow-age-evolve etc. Both genes (internal) and social systems (external) play equal role in this change. So, when the person changes, the personality traits change, the love is also lost.

But when a person starts liking and caring for an individual beyond the lust needs or personality traits....i.e 'i love this person...i care for this person for what he or she is irrespective of whether that person gives me a perception of happiness or pleasure...I JUST CARE FOR THIS PERSON IRRESPECTIVE OF HOW CRUEL OR BAD HE OR SHE IS...I DON'T KNOW WHY I LOVE THIS PERSON, BUT I JUST LOVE...THAT IS IT!!....it could be termed as obsession or disorder or madness....but as long as the individual is able to perform all the chores at home, office and social context, able to excel, able to keep peace, happiness, contentment, physical-mental-social well-being and remains in the self-actualisation path, then the LOVE is good for both and it remains till end of life.

Human beings have a tendency to secure or possess or hold-on (security needs) the sources of LUST and LOVE by any means so that they get the need satiation longer or throughout life. So, caring could arise out of this security needs too (eg in a traditional family or marriage system...it is legally protected too).

Any love feeling that emanates in a person beyond the LUST or 'feeling of acceptance' needs or security needs while retaining the peace, health, happiness, contentment and self actualisation can be termed true love or unconditional love. This benefits the person in love and person being loved.

VARIETY...

Human beings want variety in all their 'pleasure' or 'lust' needs. They can't eat same food. Wear same clothes. Live in same place. A variety of things are required every day. If variety is not there, then they fall sick in body and mind. This affects their social relationships also.

Nature does not want any two organisms to be the same in appearance and behaviours. So, it has created the need for VARIATION in all human beings. So, human beings want VARIATION in all pleasure needs or LUST needs. It is Nature driven. So, no human being can be physically,mentally and socially healthy without satiation of this VARIATION needs. No human being can escape from this need!!

Human beings also need variety of LOVE...i.e caring. The caring of a mother, father, lover, spouse, friend, sibling, relative are alllll different. We perceive these loves differently and one needs all these sorts of love in life all the time.

When we expect all these types of love from one person, then it becomes taxing for that person and strains the relationship. We also expect one form of love from only one person of our like. When we get that form of love from another person, we may not like or accept. Love is a natural feeling and therefore, it can not be forced. We might get one type of love feeling with one person, but the other person may not get any love feeling with us or get a different type of love feeling which may not be acceptable to us.

So, we want varieties of love from same or different people of our choice but we may not get such people or may not be acceptable to us. This leads to spoiled mental health and social well-being.

Nature has given the human brain the powers to simulate, fantasize when it is not possible in reality or when reality is not satiating the variety needs of love or lust. This can help the individual to survive or exist but does not help to live with complete mental health as it does not guarantee assurance or reassurance of complete love or lust for entire life.

This need makes people to lust many...love many (i.e care for many without any lust)...love and lust many (temporarily or permanently).

POSSESSIVENESS...

While the Nature has given LUST needs, VARIATION needs, LOVE needs, it has also given the POSSESSIVENESS also which works against all these three. It works in contrast to all the other three needs. We want to possess the sources of lust and love. We don't want that source to give love or lust to others. We want that person to give only to us. Are we in a position to give lust or love only to one person?...Does VARIATION doe not work inside us?...If we can not then how can we expect that from the other person?....While we are possessive about the other person, the other person also may be possessive about us...or about his or her sources of love or lust or variation.

Possessiveness exists in all types of relationships!...Parents are possessive about their children. Spouses are possessive about their spouse. Lovers are possessive of their lovers. Friends are possessive of their friends. Siblings are possessive of their siblings. To add to the complication, every one is in myriads of relationships...i.e for e.g while a person is a father, he is a lover (i.e 'carer' for many e.g a physically challenged or orphan or terminally ill person or aged person), he is a friend, he is a spouse, he is a brother etc and in every relationship he gives a 'feeling of acceptance' to the other person and therefore, the other person feels possessive about him....this is just one example.

Without Love no one can exist, without love no relationship can exist and without love and relationship no one can exist and both these involve 'caring for the other person', caring is an emotional issue, and without emotion it only becomes a 'help' where the 'feeling of acceptance' is not perceived by the other person and therefore POSSESSIVENESS is sword thrown by the Nature which spoils love, lust and relationships. Therefore, it spoils the peace, happiness, contentment and health.

So, possessiveness exists in all types of love, lust and relationships. it acts negatively against another basic, Nature driven instinct called VARIATION need. So, there is always a conflict.

When a person loves many with different relationships (i.e care for many without lust)...lusts many...or loves and lusts many...then the life gets complicated.

So, though possessiveness is a good feeling, but it is devastating to life (unfortunately our tool of measurement of love of others person to us is 'possessiveness' which is wrong. If a person is more possessive about us then we feel more loved. But when it exceeds the limits perceived by us, then it becomes a cage, limiting the freedom, hell etc and the relationship suffers...love suffers...lust suffers!...so, when possessiveness is within limits defined by us, then we perceive good but it works against variation needs)

TRUST...BELIEF...HONESTY...

This possessiveness brings a feeling in us that the source or sources of love, lust, variation, the myriads of relationships we want etc should give only to us. We say that there has to be a trust between each other that they give all these only to the other person and not to any one else. We call it honesty. We BELIEVE that person that he or she gives all these only to us. We feel that the person should give all the time, energy, attention, money, wealth, love, lust, relationships only to us and not to others. If we find some change in this then we feel the person has broken the trust, the belief in the promise, the honesty in the relationship.

We also perceive that the trust, believing and honesty are unwritten laws of any relationship. When we form a relationship, in reality or fantasies, we automatically feel that all these three are part of it. There is an unsigned agreement between the two which is automatically generated between the two as part of the relationship.

I trust you are father only to me!....I trust you are mother only to me!...I trust you are lover only to me!...I trust you are wife only to me!....i trust you are husband only to me!....i trust you are bestie only to me!....I trust you are brother only to me!...I trust you are sister only to me!

Possessiveness brings in this need or expectation of Trust or believing or honesty. More the possessiveness, more the expectation or suspicion of these three from that individual and the peace, happiness and health goes off in that relationship. Almost every unguarded/unregulated good relationship reaches this stage.

Love, Lust, Variation need...all these work against this trust and honesty.

GUILTY FEELING...

While trust and others work inside us with the other person's behaviour, guilt feeling works with in us about what we are...our own thinking, emotions and activities!!

Our value systems, our beliefs, our trust on us, our honesty within us, our definition of life and living, our perception of love, lust, variation, relationships etc when they contradict the reality, then we get this guilty feeling.

As it is caused only within us, others are not related to this, and it is related to only the mind, we can easily remove the guilty feeling by changing our value systems or beliefs or definitions of life, living, relationships, trust, honesty code etc in our mind or by changing our behaviours or relationships with others in reality or in mind.

HUMANNESS...

There are people who are real human beings who radiate happiness, peace and great health. They attract people or people get attracted by their sheer radiance. People like to be in their presence in thoughts or reality. They feel cool, happy, peaceful, comfortable and perceive that all their worries or problems vanish with the thought or presence of that person. They care for all equally and are beyond the divisiveness of religion, language, caste, race etc. So, many perceive relationships with such people, which they lack in their life. Intelligence, kindness, sense of humour, easy adaptability to people and situations, administrative skills, leadership qualities and there are soo many positive personality traits which make a person to be a good human being which is attractive to many. Some fall in love with them...Some lust with them...Some become possessive about them due to their increased love perception.

So, where is the question of Trust or believing or honesty?

CONCLUSION...

1. Nature has thrown Love, Lust, Variation, Possessiveness, Trust, Honesty etc on us to make our life miserable.

2. All these issues are related to our MIND, which is formed when various parts of brain interact with each other, and we need to keep it cool, calm, highly spiritual and enlightened.

3. While Nature has played with all these, it has also given the SIXTH SENSE which ponders over all the myriad issues listed above and finds peace, happiness, health and contentment amidst the murky waters of life by keeping life, living, body, mind well above in universal space, much above this atmosphere where all these turbulence are taking place.

4. All these lust, love, variation, possessiveness, trust, honesty, believing, relationships etc are taking place only inside our BODY and MIND. We only perceive what we perceive from the behaviours of others. So, others are only enablers of our own perception and not the true or real or actual cause of all these issues. So, we can not blame others for all the issues mentioned above. It is our own need for love, lust, variation, possessiveness, trust, honesty, relationships etc we have gone to others.

Our perception depends on the HEALTH of our own BODY and MIND. All these listed above are arising in our body and mind due to some NEED STATES. So, if we keep our BODY and MIND balanced and healthy with LESS NEED STATES, then both body and mind become self regulating, do not need any controls, even if required it is easily controllable and our value systems can easily place our life in the path of peace, happiness and good health.

5. Healthy balanced diet at the right times, good sustainable exercise regime for body, mind and our social health, good sleeping habits (uninterrupted continuous night sleep of 06 to 07 hours in 24 hours) (ideal is 10 pm to 05 am), meditation, yoga asanas and other healthy life styles that lead to high Emotional Quotient and Spiritual Quotient can keep the body and mind cool, healthy, calm and self-regulating.

6. Junk food, missing of meals, no proper timing of meals, no exercise, no proper sleep, too much of stress on body and mind leads to need for more lust, love, relationships, variation, possessiveness, trust, honesty etc leading to guilt, depression, frustration, sadness, crying, fights, shouting, multiple break-ups and multiple fall-in-loves and finally no peace, health and happiness...Loss of studies, Loss of job...Loss of relationships...Loss of life!!...All these are more found in people in adolescent and early adult stage (13 to 25 years) or who think in their mind that they are adolescent/early adults.

Keep rocking....Rams....Health Psychologist!!