one important problem with every teenager and an answer for that...

Dear all...ONE QUESTION...ONE ANSWER...

Qn. I like my friend a lottttt. I am only interested in talking. But my friend is interested in sexual talks and wants physical intimacies. If i don't give i am sure to lose my friend. What should i do? I am puzzled.

Ans. This is the problem in most of the relationships. Even if you give, the need is never going to end. The demands will only increase to the extent that you may not be able to give. When you don't give the other person will get frustrated, angry, sad, shout and do all sorts of harm and you will lose peace, happiness and health in your life. So, be firm not to give. Be what you are. If that person wants you he or she will remain. If not, if the person is interested only in what you have or can give then it is better that person leaves your life!!!!!!!!!

Peacefully yours...rams...Health Psychologist.

THIS IS FOR ALL...ESPECIALLY TEENAGERS AND THOSE WHO FEEL TEENAGED!!

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...ESPECIALLY TEENAGERS AND THOSE WHO FEEL TEENAGED!!

We human beings are social animals. We can't live alone. Our birth moment itself is with default relationships and people in our lives who care for us...parents, siblings and grand parents.

Are we satisfied with what they give?...No!...We want some more relationships namely friends of both sexes, lover, soulmate, life mate etc.

As we move on in life, we keep meeting many people at school, college, office, society, neighbourhood, social websites, parties and other places of socialising. We communicate with them, observe them, find some matching interests, traits, start liking them, get attracted to them and develop relationships.

How many relationships last a life time?...why they do not last a life time?...When a relationship fails?

How many relationships give us peace, happiness, good health, self empowerment, motivation, inspiration, help us to move up in life, live a contented, fulfilled, meaningful life of success and self actualisation?....Why they don't give all these for life time?

1. Initial phase of knowing each other with curiosity is funfilled. It has the element of common likes, dislikes, tastes, interests, goals, wants, needs, expectations etc.

2. We need to understand that the above keep changing and therefore we need to keep changing with the interests of 'our person'. Else some other person with the matching interests and other bla bla will take our place.

3. As long as relationships remain at only talking level and people change with the changing interests and needs then the relationship can last a long time.

4. Moment they go physical, then urges, security needs ("i want for life time"), expectations, possessiveness, suspicion and other related stuff results in sadness, anger, frustration, fights and eventually breakage of relationship. So, it is better to remain at 'decent communication' level only to keep the relationships intact and forever.

5. Some are extroverts. They will have many people in their life as they like talking. But if they bend to giving physical relationships to retain the people in their lives, then they will suffer and will make other people also suffer.

6. Some want variety. So, they will have more people in their lives at the same time or they will keep moving on.

7. In the present world of easy relationship-forming oppurtunities, choices are more for everyone. So, every one keep moving from one to the others...a. for want of variety....b. for want of matching age, needs, interests etc...c. when they feel satisfied with their needs with that person

8. Those who get emotionally attached suffer when the other person leaves or remains without any needs met.

9. Some need physical intimacies direly. But they fall in love with people at distance or people who can't spare time and emotions with them and they suffer. So, fall in love with those nearby and can spend time, energy and emotions to the level of your need and variety.

10. So, we need to be spiritually (i.e stable, steady and healthy mind) good to tackle all these issues in life. Parents need to educate and groom children to get this capability, provided they also know this and learn themselves from experts.

So, the crux and thumb rule is...

1. Never fall in love with a person at distance and who can't spare the time, energy and emotions if you have physical needs.

2. Keep relationships at decent communication levels only. Otherwise it is certain to break. If you don't mind suffering and breaking then you may go ahead with physical intimacies and all types of communication.

3. In relationships, what you have, to give the other person, has no meaning to the other person. What they want from you, whether you have and ready to give only will matter.

Peacefully yours....rams....health psychologist!!

'I loved a girl deeply. We united many times. Now, without any reason and without telling me she has cut the relationship. She has developed relationship with some other person. I am deeply upset and affected'

Dear all...ONE QUESTION...ONE ANSWER...

Qn. sir, i loved a girl deeply and sooo much for more than two years. We united many times. Now, without any reason and without telling me she has cut the relationship. She is avoiding me and not attending calls, not replying messages and says 'busy' when i trap her. She has developed relationship with some other person. I am deeply upset and affected. I am not able to do anything and feel depressed.

(above is not gender specific and common to both genders)

Ans. Experiments reveal that an average human being has three types of relationships in reality or fantasy. The number of people involved could be many at different times.

1. 'I love this person and want to get married, produce children and want to make a family. I can't leave this person for anything or anyone! I want this person for my entire life! I am possessive about this person'...This perfectly falls in place with Nature, as Nature wants life to go-on on this earth, so does all the magics of attraction, mating, reproduction, grooming with necessary thinking, needs, wants, expectations, emotions and behaviours.

2. The same above person wants some one (or more) for his/her emotional support (may be with or without sexual physical intimacy). The person is mentally possessive or physically possessive or both about this person. So, Can't leave this person too and wants this person throughout life!!...This also falls in place with Nature, as Nature has produced or evolved human beings as complex organisms with complex mind and complicated mental needs!!

3. The above person with above two, wants to have one or more people to quench the animal-body needs too! This could be real or fantasy. The person is not emotionally attached with this person and can leave this person and go to another person any time....This also falls in place with Nature, where it wants 'no two individuals to be with same appearance, behaviours and personality traits'. So, the variety needs or variation seeking behaviour drives the body and mind to seek more people to satiate the animal needs without any emotional attachment or need for producing children and making a family with them.

In the above question probably the person who fled perceived No.3 above and the other person perceived one of the remaining two or both or No.3 (but not yet reached the boring or monotonous or not left the inquisitive stage).

In an open relationship without marriage such break-ups are common as there is no commitment. In married relationships too it can break at some level or the other, known only to the people concerned and not known to others.

'Possessiveness' and 'variation needs' are the complementary Nature induced needs which kills relationships, peace, health and life of people.

To escape from this, yoga is a must to keep the body and mind self-regulating without any need for control due to increased craving or urges.

The biggest problem is people do not know whether they are attracted to another person for No.1 or 2 or 3 or combinations. Most of the people get married without knowing what for they are getting married, what they want in the relationship or from the other person, what are their expectations etc.
If we can figure out what we want from the other person then most of the relationships, marriages and lives can be saved.

Peacefully yours...rams....

New dimensions about LOVE!!

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL WHO FEEL THAT THEY KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT LOVE...

1. Many posts have been written (type 'funnyrams' in google and click the topmost link) on this important topic of life. Some new dimensions are here....

2. Indian culture, society, people and films recognize a relationship as LOVE when there is a sexual physical intimacy involved.

3. Possessiveness comes in the relationship when the needs, expectations and wants are getting met. This is the time the inner mind says 'i want this exclusively for me for life time!'. This is the time when all the negatives appear in relationships (suspicion, back-sniffing, anxiety, frustration, anger, sadness, stress, sleeplessness etc...a long list!!) and the relationship starts straining, becoming painful and breaks!!...So, we need to be cautious about this Nature induced stuff and remain away from it!!

4. Every relationship is a fun till it reaches this possessiveness stage.

5. The first stage of Inquisitive Love is full of fun, expectations, suspense and wanting to know the unknown of the other person. This stage is enjoyed by all. But once one comes to know, see, experience everything about the other person, the relationship becomes a curd rice in case it is a committed relationship like married-life. Else the relationship breaks, new relationships flourish till they also become a curd rice and break-up happens before commencement of another relationship!!

Therefore, if you want a relationship to be firing for life time, don't try to know, feel, see and experience everything about/from the other person. Let there be something unknown, unseen, not felt, not experienced so that there is always a longing towards the unknown. This keeps the relationship firing, exciting and Inquisitive Love stays on.

More will follow...

Peacefully yours....rams...

How to get what we want from God?

Dear all....THIS IS FOR ALL....

"God is always with Karma and it works with it. So, what we get is not what we want or desire or ask for, but WHAT WE DESERVE!!...So, we have to accept it...if we try to change the destiny, and if we are successful, then probably that is our path...if we can not then probably that is our path and destiny!!"

So, the aim should be to be good human beings, so that our karma is good and we always deserve the good and best!!

rams