'Sir, i want the BEST WIFE in the world...how can i get her?'

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL BOYS WHO WANT 'BEST WIFE'....

A 'Best Wife' wants the 'Best Husband' and 'Best Role Model Father'!!

Marriage, is a social status that has its social roles, duties, responsibilities, than the 'glam' you are thinking about or the needs you are looking at from the wife!! All these duties and responsibilities of the roles will take away your maximum time and energy. You will enjoy all these if you want all these in your life. You will be stressed to the max, if you don't want all these responsibilities and only looking for the pleasures in marriage only or family living too!!

So, BEST WIFE means you need to be RESPONSIBLE.

The first step in this is BEING EMPLOYABLE!!

There are more than several thousands of trillions of living organisms on this earth. All of them live independently after they become adult. None of them depend on their parents. Of course, the parent animals train their off-springs to find their food and protect themselves from the threats. They don't pamper their children. They don't use their children for their emotional needs. They don't depend upon their children for any support during old age. There are infinite number of plants and trees on earth. Not one plant is dependent upon it's parents. It finds it's drop of water, energy, makes it's own food from sunlight and makes it's life a History. No plant teaches the baby plant anything.

Of course, human life is not as simple as animal or plant life. That is why we get 20 long years to learn from the parents, society, schools and colleges to become EMPLOYABLE and INDEPENDENT. To become capable of creating our own family and life.

Your grandparents lived when everything was in abundance for the small population and in a country which had only towns. Your parents lived with everything FREE in a welfare oriented economy and government. You and your future generations are going to live in a densely populated world with scarce resources and in a capitalist economy where you have to pay a huge sum for everything, including air, water, food, energy, any land or air space and shelter.

Today, one needs at least 20,000/- per month to get the basic needs and live. A girl in life means another 10,000/- for the common expenditures. A baby means another 5000/-. Therefore, a single respectable living with pride after 20 years of age requires at least 20,000/- and making a family means 35,000/-.
Every knowledge and skill set becomes obsolete and you become NON-EMPLOYABLE over night. So, gone are the days when your father just obtained a bachelor degree, joined a govt job, just went to office from 9 to 5 to earn monthly salary to live his family life. This is not possible now and in future. Also, during olden days the parents just delivered kids, they grew up eating and playing, got married, did some job or lived on parental property or income and somehow finished their life. Child rearing is not simple to make them FUTURE-READY. So, one needs to be much more than the GOOD FATHER of yester-years.
So, the definition of HUSBAND, FATHER, FAMILY, CHILD REARING are all changed and have become much more tougher in a nuclear or single parent family, with requirement of more money, time, energy, dedication, focus and, attention. Otherwise, you will end up having life long pain in the form of children.

All those who fall in love during their teens and get married, before becoming employable are likely to suffer throughout their life!!

So, IF YOU WANT THE BEST WIFE then BE EMPLOYABLE FOR ENTIRE LIFE WITH POTENTIAL FOR LIFE LONG LEARNING, UPSKILLING AND RE-SKILLING, BE AN INDEPENDENT and A ROLE MODEL HUSBAND AND FATHER OF NEXT CENTURY!!...Use your 20 years effectively for this. Don't blame parents. You be responsible. All those who achieved in life are SELF RESPONSIBLE.

Parents want their son to find his job and live his life independently. Teachers want their students to be good human beings, come up in life so that they can feel proud of their students. All girls who want to make a family want a boy as i described earlier.

So, if you want to make your parents happy and make them feel proud of their son, if you want to make your teachers proud, if you want the best wife and live a happy, peaceful family life, there is no escape from being a person i described above.

So, PLAY, BUT DON'T BE PLAYFUL. Be RESPONSIBLE. Be EMPLOYABLE.

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!

'Sir, I want to serve the Nation. Please tell me how to join the Armed forces?'

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL STUDENTS (AND PARENTS-FOR INFO)....

Many students come to me saying 'Sir, I want to serve the Nation. Please tell me how to join the Armed forces?'

Truly speaking, every responsible citizen who looks after his own self by being employable, takes care of his own physical, mental and social well-being without banking on others, takes care of the default family and the family he has willingly created, takes care of his department and people in the organisation, takes care of his surroundings is doing a big service to the Nation!!

So, one need not join armed forces to serve for the Nation, and everyone who is responsible is the real patriot and serving the Nation in true sense!!

People in armed forces PROTECT THE NATION FROM THE ENEMY...If any responsible citizen is alert, he can see and find out many enemies within the country who work against the humanity and the nation, and by reporting to the authorities he or she can support the armed forces in protecting the country.

So, there are several, positive and responsible ways for every good and true citizen for serving, not only the Nation, but humanity also!!

Therefore, don't get disheartened if you are not able to join the armed forces!!

Peacefully yours....Rams!!

When there is no expectation of 'Feeling of Acceptance' then there is no scope for the 'Fear of Rejection'!!!

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...

Mostly, all of us, look for acceptance of ourselves by the others in the family, in whatsapp groups, amidst friends, in the class room etc...we are emotionally weak that we always want appreciation, words of encouragement, identity, image...our fear based culture also makes ourselves like this that we are emotionally weak...we want always to get noticed, appreciated, noted that we are different.....so we keep indulging in activities which are not natural...which are artificial...to impress others..it is stressful...mentally, physically and socially...

So, when we feel neglected, do not get the words of praise, then we don't get that feeling of acceptance...then we get a feeling of rejection...which makes us to get depressed, demotivated, dull, unhappy, sick etc.

If we are emotionally strong, if we can appreciate our work, our own-selves, if we keep ourselves confident, happy, if we are expanding every day, in a calculated and planned way, surpassing our own work every day...then we will not look for people to appreciate our work, our personality, our qualifications or our power or authority or fame etc...

so, if only we can over come that feeling of acceptance from every one around at every place, through our attachment to wisdom, nature, self analysis, self acceptance etc then we will never feel rejection from our loved ones....from our organisations...from our family members...from our whatsapp groups...etc etc...

then life becomes a celebration always....every moment...

we will not fight with anyone...

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist....