Thursday 23 January 2014

What is a Mental Structure?...how it is screwing our happiness, health and peace?

Hai all...THIS IS FOR ALL WHO WANT TO BE HAPPY AND HEALTHY...YOU CAN’T FIND THIS IN ANY BOOK...BUSY PEOPLE CAN READ ONLY THE CAPITAL LETTERS...

What does our brain do when it sees (reads), hears, senses, smells or tastes?

We know what is ‘data’ and what is ‘information’.

Data does not convey anything; it is only a raw data. E.g all numbers written in a scattered manner...or age of all the employees written in a tabular column.

Information is processed data. i.e. we analyse the raw data using some tools and derive some useful value out of it. This is called information. E.g. by analysing the age distribution of all employees we come to a conclusion that it contains more employees between 21 to 30 years. I.e. young work force. This is useful information. It helps to predict many things about the organisation.

Now coming to our brain...IT DOES NOT STORE ANY RAW DATA!!!...IT ONLY STORES INFORMATION!!!

Therefore, anything that it senses out of all the sensors on the body (seeing a person or object or place, reading some book, hearing something from someone etc), it analyses it, it does not take it as it is, and stores the information, i.e the outcome of the analysis or processing, i.e the information. So, brain does not store raw data it only stores processed information. I.e value derived out of the processing of raw data.

SO, BRAIN NOT ONLY STORES THE APPEARANCE PART OF THE DATA BUT ALSO THE CHARACTERISTICS, TRAITS, PROPERTIES OF THE DATA. E.g when it sees a gas cylinder it just does not store this word. It also stores that it is a dangerous one. It can explode if not treated with care and all the positives and negatives of it.

Similarly when it sees the person ‘rams’, the picture of the person, his personality traits etc it stores in the memory. It analysis this and finally stores if he is a good or safe person or not.

THIS IS WHAT WE CALL AS ‘MENTAL STRUCTURE’. THIS IS THE SHORT CUT MADE BY THE BRAIN. SO, THAT WHEN IT SEES THE PERSON OR OBJECT OR PLACE, IT CAPTURES OR RETRIEVES THE ENTIRE INFORMATION SO THAT IT DOES NOT HAVE TO PROCESS THE DATA AGAIN. IT IS ABLE TO QUICKLY ASSES THE PERSON OR OBJECT OR PLACE IF IT IS A THREAT OR NOT TO TAKE THE CORRECTIVE PROTECTIE ACTION. BRAIN FORMS THESE MENTAL STRUCTURES USING THE VALUE SYSTEMS IT HAS LEARNT DURING CHILD HOOD FROM CULTURE, PARENTS, TEACHERS, PEOPLE AROUND AND BOOKS.

Almost all our mental structures if you see are negative. Our parents and all the well-wishers around teach how to be safe and careful. Even the nature has given us this trait of analysing the environment constantly for threats of life. So, anything we see, we analyse if it is a threat or not. This we do mostly with negative structures. i.e assuming that ‘he or it or this place is dangerous’. Then we analyse this hypothesis and come to a conclusion if it is true or not. So, EVERYTHING WE MAKE NEGATIVE FIRST. Our culture also teaches only ‘negative thinking’ and creates ‘negative mental structures’.

These negative mental structures only make us think negatively, analyse people, places and things around us negatively. Look at our parents, friends and relatives what they talk about others, places and objects. Mostly negative, is it not?

EVERY THINKING RESULTS IN CORRESPONDING EMOTIONS AND BEHAVIOURS. SO, NEGATIVE THINKING RESULTS IN NEGATIVE EMOTIONS AND BEHAVIOURS. E.g anger, frustration, jealously, sadness, hate are the emotions. Hitting, breaking, throwing, shouting, talking bad and ill about others, foul language, treating others as slaves, control behaviours are the negative behaviours. They affect our social relationships and result in failures in all our attempts in anything in life. All these result in ulcers, diabetes (stress), hypertension, high cholesterol (due to stress of mind and body) and finally death.

Most of our fights with people at home, friends, relatives and people at office are due to ‘unfulfilled expectations’. As our mental structures are negative (e.g husband or wife or father, or mother, or sister or brother or lover or friend or boss or subordinate or peer group people means ‘they should be like this’, ‘they should behave like this with me’, ‘they should do or give these things to me’ etc), we perceive only negatives with these people. If our mental structures are positive about them then we look at them empathetically, perceive positives, experience only love and affection which keeps our body, mind and relationships happy and healthy.

SO, POSITIVE MENTAL STRUCTURES LEAD TO POSITIVE THINKING, PERCEPTIONS, EMOTIONS AND BEHAVIOURS. THIS LEADS TO GOOD PHYSICAL, MENTAL AND SOCIAL HEALTH. THIS LEADS TO SUCCESS, PEACE, HAPPINESS, RELATIONSHIPS AND SELF-TRANSCENDENCE / ENLIGHTENMENT.

So, let us correct, i.e. unlearn the negative mental structures and write the positive mental structures there in the brain.

keep rocking!

rams-psychologist and sociologist

treatment is applied only after we suffer...not before that...so, don't look for counseling or therapy in anticipation of a life event...

hai all...few months back one person came to me...the person said

'Sir, I have got a problem. I have my room and I sleep there. I can't allow anyone to sleep in my room. I will not get sleep if any one is there in my room. I am worried, because after marriage how will I sleep alone?...if I don't sleep then I will not be able to work in the office properly. This will affect my relationship with my spouse, my health, my profession and my life. Please help me sir.'

I just asked the person 'Does it affect now?'...the person said 'No!'...then I told the person 'Just forget it. Don't have anxiety. Feel normal and live your life happily. You don't have any problem. It is only anxiety and fear that is making you to feel all this. Our body and mind have got the natural tendency to adapt and accept and modify behaviours based on SITUATIONS AND NEEDS of the body and mind. So, all will be normal and fine. Just live your life peacefully!'.

Yesterday that person searched me and came running with all happiness and surprise!...the person said 'Sir, you are perfectly right!!!...I am married now and I am very happy. I don't have any problem now sleeping with my spouse in my room. I am extremely thankful to you sir. It was a timely help you rendered to me and I am indebted to you!'...I asked, how it happened?...the person said 'I don't know sir. I just forgot about that issue after you told me. And now after the marriage I find I am cool, no issues, no worries, no anxiety etc. I don't know what happened!'

Many of us are like this...

1. We process everything that is there in front of us, that comes to our mind...which is wrong.

2. We are experts in perceiving negatives, and specially with ourselves too.

3. We are experts in being anxiety struck and remaining in constant fear of something or the other always.

4. We don't have to fear and go to counsellors for things which we feel will happen in future. If we don't have any problem now then we don't have to think about future and go for counselling. Let the situation arise and if problem persists, our body and mind are not able to adapt, then only we need counselling / treatment.

5. Our body and mind have the elasticity to adjust and adapt to others and environment based on OUR NEEDS at that particular point of time!...our needs will dictate our mind and body.

So, let us free our minds and live happily and peacefully.

rams-psychologist and sociologist

Tuesday 21 January 2014

something interesting about love!!

hai all...there is an interesting thing I typed, I got an interesting question, and the answer is here...

this is what I typed...read below...

""Love is a basic feeling of life, which has to be there in the mind of every human being either consciously or subconsciously each and every moment for him or her to be in a state of stable mind (within the stability band)...otherwise he or she will lose stability and the extent to which the stability is lost depends on the effect or perception of lack of love...it could lead to any type of behaviour that can cause or cost anything!...dangerous state of mind!

every one is in search of love consciously or subconsiously all the time...the feeling of happiness...the feeling of acceptance...the feeling of being a part of a team or group or society...a feeling of not lonely....a feeling of support (emotional, intellectual, legal, social, physical etc) when a person is stable, it means that the organism is in a state of perceiving love consciously or subconsciously...only when the love is lost (above feelings) then the organism perceives it...loss of love... (e.g loss of parents, flying away of children, loss of spouse or flying away...when they are there, we don't feel anything...our mind takes the situation for granted...only when they miss the 'miss' is felt and it results in change in behaviours consciously or subconsciously)""

the question asked by some one is....

""but if you have not received love and affection from childhood from parents or others???.... if you have no basis under your feet that basic feeling???

from birth abused are abused neglected HOW is it possible that you can still feel love (give and take) (for anything) even human or not human???

is love something that you'll face after birth, by parents or is it something you developed and taught? or is it already in the early stages of development, when you were a child still in the womb?""

some answer which came to my mind is here...

"hai all...some times some questions asked here or some of the posts kindle some thinking, some more reading, some more researching...that is where such discussion threads improve our wisdom...like that this question made me to think...what ever came to my mind is here...

my definition is there is only nature every where...and all of us, living and non-living form a part of the wide and wild nature...and in this nature, though we are all separated physically, like stones, animals, butterfly etc, we are all united together...all of us together form the nature...so, the connectivity is always there...whether before birth or before that...we are subset of nature...so, we remain 'connected' with others always...whether we know it consciously or not...so, the crux is we are always connected to all...not alone here...we remain connected to all and everything through our sensors and memory...physically and mentally....so, we are never alone...never lonely...loneliness is only a perception when our neurotransmitters go low.

so, nature has given all living beings the ability to remain connected, attract others towards them, not only the living but the non living too...so, all elements of nature attract, remain attracted and attached.

I don't know if only human beings feel lonely or even the other living beings also feel the same...may be more we are evolved, advanced, more we feel lonely and all such new feelings, negative feelings!!!

We have another big problem of attaching ourselves emotionally to only the few at home or in the school or college or office or in other social groups. The truth is 'the whole world is for us and we are for the whole universe!'...therefore, if we confine ourselves to few limited, push ourselves inside a small bottle of a home or school or class room or a social group and think this is the world, then we are sure to feel lack of love some time or the other...so, we need to expand ourselves to the whole world...there are lakhs and crores who can be the best friends for us for life...there are there every where...only thing is we have not reached them and they have not reached us...of course, searching for them takes time, effort, energy etc...in the process we might end up in the wrong hands and might screw some part of our life or happiness or health...and no one meets all the suitable friends for them in the whole world...so, when we are with limited people, we are sure to face such a loveless situation...

there are many orphans from birth...some become orphans while growing...some are orphans throughout their life even if they had parents...though parents play a key role in providing love and affection, which shapes or grooms a child in to a better human being, what can we do if they are unable to provide or not there to provide?...so, those who do not get the basic breath and food of life, i.e love and affection, the resilient children, look for the same outside the house and try to get it from others and other things in nature...i.e from other elements of nature...they get carved by nature nicely...every person becomes a god for them...every thing becomes a guru for them...they learn and get happiness every second of their life....

so,.....

1. love is a part of nature and element of all elements in nature always.
2. let us not limit ourselves to the handful at home or around for love and affection. Let us come out of the bottle and breath love from the whole world.

leaving the pc now and will add more later...bye guys...keep rocking!

rams

this post is for girls!

hai all....THIS IS FOR GIRLS....

Girls play an important role in the HAPPINESS, HEALTH and PEACE of all at home.

If you are not happy, others can't be happy. You have to be happy to make others happy. You have to be healthy to keep every one healthy. You have to be at peace to bring peace in others.

Happiness is not automatic. It comes with conscious effort. So, we have to put in efforts to be happy.

So, we have to all the time say 'COME WHAT MAY, I WILL BE HAPPY!'

Happiness is an emotion...all emotions and behaviours are outcome of cognition...i.e thinking...ie what we perceive out of what we hear, taste, feel, see, smell etc...if we decide to be happy, we will perceive only positives out of all the senses...

this will make us to feel happy with all that / whom we see, smell, feel, taste or hear...

So, let us perceive positives and be happy and rocking!

all the best

rams

where actually do the gods live?

hai all...yesterday we were there in a home for orphans and abandoned children...

look at the children...almost like beggers...old clothes with wrinkles, so thin, black...so dirty looking...no perfume smell on them...one burnt face due to child abuse also can be seen...but all of us grown ups, highly educated, those who take bribes, all those who are greedy, mint public money, all those who call themselves a mahans, gurus and swamijis 'preaching' to others as to how to live and what is life, living in Air-conditioned ashrams, with 'all comforts'...silk holy dresses, fly in private aeroplanes, and live with hundreds and thousands of crores under their ass, and of course our elite convent and international school children also have to learn a lot from these hungry stomachs...

1. there was no watering face or mouth looking at the eatables (but the smell watered my mouth)
2. they did not fight or rush for the snacks
3. they all formed a line and came with peace on face
4. sang a nice song of love (whether it is jesus or christianity is immaterial...it had only love!!)
5. no one tried to grab the snacks of others
6. when one finished the stuff, she did not look at the other person eating

the ultimate thing is when we gave more snacks and soft drinks they refused saying 'I have already taken!'...even the tiny tot said the same thing. If i were in their place, i would have certainly taken one more plate.

The girls had gone to different schools, so, we waited and they came in batches. When we offered to these new comers the others who had taken were not there at all.

When i spoke to them i realized that they are living gods.

They may not have good dress, may not have even a rupee with them but they have abundance of peace and the true values of life to teach others.

SPIRITUALITY IS NOT ABOUT PREACHING. IT IS ABOUT 'LIVING'.

What caste they belong to, what language they speak, what religion these kids follow is immaterial, but they are true human beings.

Poverty, lack of love from parents have taught them what life is...how one should live...the meaning of being a human being!

I think, it is not bad or a loss, if our children have to learn these lessons, by our sudden death and being on road.

Some more kids had to come. We could not wait. But we confidently handed over the snacks for them to these children to give to their friends when they come. I would not have confidently handed over to our children of riches. We know what our kids will do.

Let us learn life lessons and spirituality from living gods and not from those who just preach. Education or enlightenment is not required to teach others.

Gods don't live in rich ashrams and temples. Gods live in the hearts of true human beings and in their forms.

We need to ask ourselves if we are real human beings and anywhere near these kids.

rams

some new sayings from me...about 'what happens to suppressed emotions?'...'how to get enlightenment within ourselves?'...

hai all...

Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.

 our behaviours and emotions only decide who we are, what we achieve and our happiness, health and peace. These are outcomes of what we think. Without thinking there can be no behaviour or emotion. Thinking depends upon what we have stored in our brain based on 'past learning', called mental structures. If these are positive then thinking, behaviour and emotions are all positive. If -ve then our life is ruined. So, let us change these with positive mental structures.

rams

first ever story that got published in kumudam....'irattai pura'....



appreciation letter from a reader for the story in ananda vikatan...'muthal anubhavam'...


How i started writing stories in magazines?

hai all...

During childhood tamil weekly magazines were the time pass and source of current affairs. But a child only likes jokes and I also did the same. Later when reached age 10, started appreciating drawing by various famous artists in the weeklies for stories. They were Jay (oviyar jeyaraj who was the tamil nadu govt's artist to draw in text books for school children), Ma.Se (Maniam selvan, he still works for weeklies), Ars etc. These were the days I used to think 'hmmm, how nice it would be if they draw for my stories!'...but that feeling left when I neared 10th and +2 as marks, engg college admissions, job were on the nuts!

Later when joined MIT, the alumnus 'sujatha' wave striked me the way it strikes any MITian. Sujatha, an MITian, was a famous tamil story and novel writer who later wrote for many movies and achieved fame (his actual name is Rangarajan, and he wrote on his wife's name). But this also did not make any difference to my life that time.

Once while traveling in train I was getting bored and happened to read a pocket novel left in the seat. It was a family story. After reading I felt, 'I can also write like this!'...with the same thoughts I reached home, took a paper, and thought 'what should I write?'. Then I felt I should first decide the mag, the style they want, 1 page story or many pages, what should be 'kathai kalam', characters...like this so many things splashed...

I felt I must write to a mag that is the No.1 so that maximum people will read. So, Kumudam was decided. Then took a kumudam and went through what type of stories they publish. Selected the short stories of two page type. Then when I thought what should it be about, what came to my mind was my PSG Teach days...the buses that run from Gandhipuram to Neelambur in Coimbatore, 'the mecca street of education', covering all the schools and colleges of the city. We used to call these buses as 'Love Chariots' as almost all loves started inside the buses in this route (of course, I went by bus,only the first day, and started going by cycle thereafter...of course, today if I think about that journey, I am sure every college student would long for such journeys (winking)!).

While deciding the name of the author, I felt I should go with the trend like pushpa thangathurai, sujatha rangarajan etc..i.e a female name and male name...so, I took my mothers name and added a part of my name...athivinayaki Subramanian...

So, took a paper, recollected the trend of stories read in kumudam, then wrote a story based on these bus journeys, gave it to my few friends to read, (I will give their comments later!!) and sent it to kumudam. I bought few copies but could not see my story and forgot about it. After many months (those days no mobiles) when I happened to talk to Shiv Shankar, my friend who read it and regular reader of kumudam, said 'dei, unnoda antha kathai has come in print, I read it few months back, I thought you would have read!!'. Wofff...thereafter I had to run around from pillar to post to a copy of that and felt nice to read.

You want to read that??????....just wait!

rams

'I want that to happen and this way!' bosses and 'Let us do it!' bosses!

Hai all...

all of us work in organisations...we have bosses...some call their subordinates and tell them 'I want all of you to do this!'...these 'i want' bosses think subordinates are not that intellectual enough, comparable with them, so, they are scared that the quality of work might suffer...some of them also assume that 'no one wants to work!'...(if their bosses also use this technique they don't like and crib to their subordinates that their boss is autocratic!!!)...so, they plan, design and only ask the subordinates to execute...

'i want' bosses use only their brain...ONLY ONE BRAIN...and want all other 'subordinate BODIES' to work or execute WITHOUT USING THEIR BRAIN!...can an organisation always succeed with just only one brain working???

most of them may not succeed...those who succeed also may not have the 'likes' or good feelings or support of the subordinates...if they collapse in the office, the subordinate will not do any first aid and would leave the office happily, or may be spit on him and leave...the subordinates can never be happy, efficiency will be too low...

There are some bosses who will pose the problem or discussion point and ask for the solutions and 'how shall we go about?' types...inclusive bosses...they use their brain a little to coordinate and bring in the synergistic effect (i.e 1+1=3 effect) and ensure that all the brains of the organisation also participate 100% and willingly and happily...this way the bosses 'not use all the brains' but take along 'all the brains'...they are the modern bosses for the modern organisations...all subordinates would happily work under them...they never use the words 'I WANT'...they use only 'LET US'

having lived with MITians i don't have any doubts in saying that the 'success of mitians is due to the 'taking along all the brains' and not using 'i want', including the illustrious senior Dr A P J Abdul kalam!!

rams

Sunday 12 January 2014

why we should not get emotionally attached with anyone or anything?

hai all...

When we are emotionally attached to a person or place or religion or caste or language, we believe that, that is the ultimate, we close our brains, we never grow, we don’t evolve, we don’t think any further, cognition switches off or thinking gets narrowed, this is a situation where we hate or dislike or show anger or negativity to all those other than those or whom we are emotionally attached...ie the person or place or language or religion or caste to which we are attached emotionally...and therefore, we spread negativity to all, we think negative, our behaviours become negative, our emotions become negative, we are not peaceful, we are not happy, our brain and life and living becomes a battle or battle field...Is this a right situation????

We are emotionally attached to only one person or book or language or religion or caste...that is all...a small portion...negligible portion of society...but we hate all the remaining on earth which is a mega volume of the earth...so, we like only a negligible percentage and dislike or hate the majority...so, obviously we cannot be happy.

“”we close our brains, we never grow, we don’t evolve, we don’t think any further, cognition switches off””...all these are not the normal conditions of a human brain...nature has produced us with a capacity to like and love all and everything on earth...whereas we are limiting our world to a narrow hole of handful which is highly suffocating...it is an unstable state of the mind...corrupted and infected state of mind...unnatural state of the brain and mind...brain can accommodate so much but we keep it almost empty...

when we show negativity to all people around, obviously we are not able to show love and affection to the one or two on whom we are emotionally attached...we end up showing negativity to them also...this is what happens at homes...such a dirty or stinking mind affects the health of the body and our social relationships too!...

therefore, when we are emotionally attached to all the big list above, we become inhuman, we cease to be human beings...we become animals...worst than animals...

should we cease to exist as human beings???

Should we become worst than animals???

We need to think!!!

If we want to remain as stable human beings with positive brain and mind, peace, happiness and acceptability by all, everywhere and throughout the world, then we should not get emotionally attached to the list above and keep an open, matured and flexible mind to listen to all, understand all, love all and like all without emotional attachments.

keep rocking!

peacefully yours
rams-psychologist and sociologist

"what is spirituality?' in one line?

hai all...

What is spirituality?..."anything that keeps our mind and body, calm, positive, motivated, healthy, peaceful under any situation in life and with every one on earth"...anything that is not giving these is not spirituality....

spiritually yours
rams

'sir, i am getting married. How should i handle my wife?'

hai all...

yesterday one guy asked me "sir, i am going to get married shortly. Many are giving me lots of advices, including my mom, sister and dad, as to how to handle the wife and home affairs. What is your opinion?"

I just told him "Do anything that will keep you in her heart at all times including the private moments. She will automatically do anything that will make her to be in your heart always. Most of the advices by people can only keep your wife inside the house or you inside the house just physically. Go by what your heart and brain say."


rams

a girl can keep her lover or husband around her with her beauty and youth only till it lasts...after that it is only LOVE that can keep him revolving around her

hai all...

a girl (the sun) can keep her man (planet) revolving around her during younger days with just her beauty and youthfulness. Love, to keep the planet revolving, at this age comes automatically. But after middle age, she can keep the planet revolve around her with LOVE only. If only she can overcome the middle age crisis and menopause issues and radiate calm, peace, no shouting, love etc she will win everyone including the planet.


rams

orphans are those who do not get love and affection...it is not 'being without parents'!

hai all...

every one on this earth is a CHILD or PARENT

every one needs love and affection...if not received then he or she becomes a orphan with out this for a while or forever...

some get from parents, some from siblings, some from spouse, some from other relatives, some from lover, some from other living beings other than human, some from all listed here or from some, some from nature too...

if you see the above list, all will go some time or the other...old will go...new will come...that new also will go...some other new will come...but nature is the one that will be there with us always and everywhere, unconditionally!




Orphans!!!...whom do we refer as orphans?...those who do not have parents?

Can we say, those who do not get 'love and affection, financial, physical, emotional, social and all those 'als' which parents are expected to give' are orphans?

so, can we say those with parents but not getting any of these are also orphans?

many go and give money, food, chocolates, sweets, clothes for them...

does any one give the 'love and affection' (kisses and hugs and make them feel for at least few minutes 'yes, i am not alone, i have some one on this earth!') which rarely any one gives to them?...which is the most important thing for any human being or living organism to live...or the life line of life!

rams


"love is the basic dire need for stability of mind...or else it will go unstable"

hai all...something which came to my mind now...

Love is a basic feeling of life, which has to be there in the mind of every human being either consciously or subconsciously each and every moment for him or her to be in a state of stable mind (within the stability band)...otherwise he or she will lose stability and the extent to which the stability is lost depends on the effect or perception of lack of love...it could lead to any type of behaviour that can cause or cost anything!...dangerous state of mind!

every one is in search of love consciously or subconsiously all the time...the feeling of happiness...the feeling of acceptance...the feeling of being a part of a team or group or society...a feeling of not lonely....a feeling of support (emotional, intellectual, legal, social, physical etc) when a person is stable, it means that the organism is in a state of perceiving love consciously or subconsciously...only when the love is lost (above feelings) then the organism perceives it...loss of love... (e.g loss of parents, flying away of children, loss of spouse or flying away...when they are there, we don't feel anything...our mind takes the situation for granted...only when they miss the 'miss' is felt and it results in change in behaviours consciously or subconsciously)


yes...most of the time when i observe people going unstable...i.e getting angry...getting frustrated...doing all funny weird things...when i analyse there is a sense of 'lost love' i.e a feeling of 'no one is there for me' or a feeling of rejection...this feeling could be momentary or can last for some time...but during the time the individual has the feeling, it creates a havoc in the person and ruins many around and creates a hell for people around...some even talk or do somethings which can break any relationship, for ever too!...too dangerous!...tht is why we need to have good friends, who can understand what is happening to us, and will save us during such turbulent times of mind.

rams 

Is it correct to ask hypothetical questions to our lovers to check their love to us?

hai all...

ladies and lovers have the habit of asking 'hypothetical questions' to their spouse or lovers e.g if the house is on fire and if both of us are inside the house will you save me or save only yourself?...no one can give the right answer for such hypothetical questions...you will get only socially acceptable answers from the other person...not the real answer...in fact, he or she also does not know he or she will do in such situations...only the situation in reality can answer such situations...only when the fire occurs, at the end we will know what he or she has done...or what happened!

crux is...never ask hypothetical questions to judge the extent of love one has to the other


rams

Friday 10 January 2014

NATURE IS THE ULTIMATE BEST FRIEND ON EARTH!

hai all...

every one on this earth is a CHILD or PARENT

every one needs love and affection

some get from parents, some from siblings, some from spouse, some from other relatives, some from lover, some from other living beings other than human, some from all listed here or from some, some from nature too...

if you see the above list, all will go some time or the other...old will go...new will come...that new also will go...some other new will come...but nature is the one that will be there with us always and everywhere, unconditionally!

rams

Tuesday 7 January 2014

earlier rituals were within reality...but now they have grown to be out of reality!!!

hai all...

anything or anyone that / who is not 'reality' and 'yathaarthham' (too simple) based will not live for long!...it / he or she will not give the true happiness and peace. 

Most of the rituals have reached the stage of not knowing why to do, how to do, unable to do, costly etc that they are loosing their meaning, going beyond the reaches of the common man, unable to do due to changed life styles, lost their meaning as they got modified totally over many years and they have reached a stage of 'funny' feeling...

any thing which is not a closed loop (i.e automatic correction of results or the way we do or the output to the set value) has to go unstable, change beyond recognition, change beyond its purpose and die....who knows?...some rituals might have got formed for some good reason and a specific way to do...but it must have got changed totally now...

some time back I had gone to a funeral at namakkal...the dead old lady was taken out of the house and made to sit on a chair and it was not tied...so was slipping...and many were shouting about rituals...this is the way, that is the way etc...and the body would have fallen inside the nearby gutter...as body was kept alongside the road near the gutter to give way for the road movements and they were fighting for the rituals as to who is right...finally the body got saved on its own...after a lots of thamaasha, fights, shouts she was burnt...thank god!!!...many want to show their prominence, authority, rights etc only during the last rites to a person (body!!!)...

I wish I know about my death few minutes before so that I can myself give a ring to the electric or gas crematorium and I escape from all these madddddd rituals!!!!!

rams

'leader drivies people' and 'leader is driven by people'

hai all...

When people are demotivated, there emerges a person who motivates the people, leads them and such a situation is called leadership. This is likely to win. ('leader drives people')

But here we see lakhs of motivated people and the motivated leader is driven by them. A new definition for leadership or for a new form of organisational situation?...what can it be called?...Is this not damn sure to win??? ('leader is driven by people')

rams

'EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENTS'- are they good or bad?...or how bad or good they are?

hai all...

When we are emotionally attached to a person or place or religion or caste or language, we believe that, that is the ultimate, we close our brains, we never grow, we don’t evolve, we don’t think any further, cognition switches off or thinking gets narrowed, this is a situation where we hate or dislike or show anger or negativity to all those other than those or whom we are emotionally attached...ie the person or place or language or religion or caste to which we are attached emotionally...and therefore, we spread negativity to all, we think negative, our behaviours become negative, our emotions become negative, we are not peaceful, we are not happy, our brain and life and living becomes a battle or battle field...Is this a right situation????

We are emotionally attached to only one person or book or language or religion or caste...that is all...a small portion...negligible portion of society...but we hate all the remaining on earth which is a mega volume of the earth...so, we like only a negligible percentage and dislike or hate the majority...so, obviously we cannot be happy.

“”we close our brains, we never grow, we don’t evolve, we don’t think any further, cognition switches off””...all these are not the normal conditions of a human brain...nature has produced us with a capacity to like and love all and everything on earth...whereas we are limiting our world to a narrow hole of handful which is highly suffocating...it is an unstable state of the mind...corrupted and infected state of mind...unnatural state of the brain and mind...brain can accommodate so much but we keep it almost empty...

when we show negativity to all people around, obviously we are not able to show love and affection to the one or two on whom we are emotionally attached...we end up showing negativity to them also...this is what happens at homes...such a dirty or stinking mind affects the health of the body and our social relationships too!...

therefore, when we are emotionally attached to all the big list above, we become inhuman, we cease to be human beings...we become animals...worst than animals...

should we cease to exist as human beings???

Should we become worst than animals???

We need to think!!!

If we want to remain as stable human beings with positive brain and mind, peace, happiness and acceptability by all, everywhere and throughout the world, then we should not get emotionally attached to the list above and keep an open, matured and flexible mind to listen to all, understand all, love all and like all without emotional attachments.

keep rocking!

peacefully yours
rams-psychologist and sociologist