Dear all,
I have noticed from childhood that our parents shout at their children like
the following in anger, even the wives shout at their husbands almost with
similar discouraging words. At office environment also the friends, peers,
bosses use such words or similar discouraging words:-
நீ வேஸ்ட் !!! (you are a waste!!)
நீ தண்டம் !!! (you are useless!!)
நீ உருப்பட மாட்டே !!! (There is no hope that
you will become successful in life!!)
உன்னை பெத்ததே வேஸ்ட் !!! (why did I give birth to
you!!)
நீ நாசமா போக!! (you will surely go to
dogs!!)
சனியனே....என் வயத்துல ஏன்டா வந்து பொறந்தே!!!
(why did
you take birth from my womb!!)
நீ ஒரு பைசாக்கு லாயக்கு இல்ல!! (you are no worth!!)
உன்னால ஒன்னும் பண்ண முடியாது !!! (you can’t do anything
good!!)
நீ ஸ்மார்ட் இல்ல !! (you are not smart!!)
உனக்கு மூளை இல்ல !! (you don’t have brain!!)
உனக்கு அறிவு பத்தாது!! (you are not
intelligent!!)
உனக்கு திறமை இல்ல !! (you don’t have
skills!!)
பக்கத்து வீட்டு பையன பாரு ....அவனோட
மூத்திரத்தை குடி ....அப்பிடியாவது உனக்கு புத்தி வருதான்னு பார்ப்போம் !! (look at that boy (or
girl or guy)!! How good he is (or she is)!!)
உனக்கு புத்தியே இல்ல !! (you don’t have common
sense!!)
உன்னால ஒன்னும் பண்ண முடியாது !!! (you are worthless!!)
'இத விட்டுடு ....உன்னால இத பண்ண முடியாது!!' (leave this, you
can’t do it!!)
உனக்கு திறமை இல்ல !! (you are not capable!!)
Now, most of the achievers in life, would have faced such words from
parents, friends, teachers, and others around. When these are used by parents
and significant people (people who are significant to us and to whom we are
significant) then it affects the child a lot. Some children may take it as a
challenge to prove these words to be wrong. They work hard in a positive manner
to become achievers. These கேலி, கிண்டல், பழிச்சொல், அவதூறு etc motivate them to
excel, to become the best, and they outperform others everywhere.
But these are very few. Most of the children believe these words to be
true, get demotivated, get depressed, especially when their own parents tell
these words or those whom they keep at high position in their mind tell these
words they get disheartened, heartbroken, and totally feel damaged into pieces.
Whereas, when we highlight the positive points, they get appreciated. This
appreciation will make them listen to us for the areas needing improvement, and
how to improve the weak areas, etc. Then they show positive thinking, changed
behaviours etc towards improvement and progress in life. At that time, we
should encourage them, appreciate their positive change, then they become
really good in everything.
Even in relationships and friendships this will help to make, retain and endure people in our lives!!
So, appreciate and encourage. Don’t criticize negatively and discourage!!
Peacefully yours… Rams…Psychologist!!
