hai friends...
for the busy "quicky" lovers...the answer is short here....(but you will miss my 'lollu'!)
right from the time of birth to death we are members of many social systems...knowlingly or unknowingly...our membership in each social system automatically assigns some status and related roles...in our mind, without our knowledge we link age with these statuses...so, we and others, look at ourselves through our social statuses subconciously linked to age. Hence we are sensitive about the age and feel getting old. Early childhood and childhood (student status) are the only times (i.e upto the age of 12) when we are with roles not related to responsibility. Therefore, if you want to feel young (i am not talking about happiness emotion here!), remain for less time in statuses related to responsibility (even while being in that status you could be little childish while driving in the nuts of everyone "hai dear...i mean business!..ok!'), be a child and do what a child does (in fantasies atleast), be a student always, be surrounded by children or students and conciously remove relating AGE and STATUS in your mind.
if you want to know more about STATUS AND ROLE....read the attachment
All the best....
now those who want to understand the above issue better with examples and with my usual "kokku maakku comedy" style can read on....!
hai friends....recently some of my friends celebrated (?) their birthdays (mid forty). I observed all of them saying 'i am getting old man!'....'hmmmm...vayasaayi pochhudaa...nothing is happening!'...this feeling that 'i am old' 'i am getting aged' is a killer feeling which changes our perspective and covert / over behaviours with every one, all issues and all occasions drastically....which actually makes us to get aged physically and mentally in a rapid manner!...you land up with disease causing behaviours...both psychological and physiological....
some time back when i read an NIOS sociology lesson while teaching a student, i found the reason why we feel aged and old....the lesson is attached as an attachment here....just see if i am right!
when i asked the students in a college "How many of you want to be happy?", every one lifted their hands. When i asked them "How many want to become old?"....no one lifted!
So, every one want to be young!
when we are young children we are
happy...because we and the significant people around us assign the
relevant status and roles of a 'child' in the social system of 'family'.
No responsibility! Even on birthdays we do not feel that we
are getting aged. We look forward for birthdays. We even want to become
aged fast to grow big like our father or uncle etc because of the
achievement motive ("bread winners" first!) instigated by the
significant people around.
when we reach adulthood we do not like getting aged.
this
is because we are part of many social systems like family, society,
educational institutions, religious organisations etc. Each member in a
social
system has a status (e.g father, mother, son, sister, brother,
professor, manager, scientist, priest, etc) and roles attached to that
status to perform. So, there are expectations and responsibilities. We
have attached age to all these status in our minds. For eg. moment we
hear the word 'father' we imagine an adult and not a child. When my
father says 'My father will come now', we expect a 90 year old man. When
a 25 year old girl (let us remove the words like 'lady' and 'woman'
from our dictionary as they indicate age!) says 'My son', we imagine a
small boy less than 5 years of age and not a 10 year old boy or a 40
year old man. So, we attach age to every status in our mind.
We
also have a standard visualisation of expected behaviours to each
status. For e.g when we imagine a child we do not expect it to drive a
car. When some one says 'priest' we imagine certain behaviours and do
not imagine him to be playing like a child in
playground. If i 'look' at a young girl, she will say 'kelavanukku
lollai paaru!'. Is it not?...because she is relating that behaviour to
my age...linking it to my status as a fatherly figure. So moment we hear
a status, we imagine and accept only certain types of behaviours. So, we relate age, status and behaviours in our mind without our knowledge.
Similary if i ask 'who are you?'...some one will say 'Professor'...other might say 'senior manager'...if i ask the same question in a family environment, you might say 'father' or 'uncle' or 'mother' etc...i.e we always identify ourselves with the status of that social system where we are!...
Remember...nature has not created us with any social status or roles or responsiblities or typical behaviours!...it has produced us like anyother living being on earth....to be happy!...just to be happy...that is all...this is the bottom line!...not to remember the age...or relate the age to behaviours...animals do not remember their age!...only we do!...Wheras we attach ourselves to 'n' number of social systems, statuses and related roles and responsiblities...and make our life miserable relating it to age and behaviours...
So, obviously we identify ourselves with responsibilities, age and behaviour related to that social status!...so, we feel aged!
I hope, now you understand why we always feel the age and the burden in our mind.
while we traverse through the need hierarchies of Maslow, we can always keep the statuses off from age and behaviours.
Now, how to come out of it?
1. Conciously remove the words which give the feeling of age...like man, woman, lady etc from your dictionary.
2. Conciously, repeatedly tell yourself that you are a young human being...always young...wanting to learn and learn...i.e have child and student instincts, behaviours...have the high energy levels of a child...be rocking all the time...
3. Never feel that you are matured...you have achieved everything...all children and students are younger to you...you are the master in your profession or organisational hierarchy etc...feel always that you joined the organisation just yesterday...be with the subordinates, workers and specially the new recruits so that you feel young.
4. Conciously do not relate the age, behaviour and status. Make an effort. It will become a habit. Your covert and overt behaviours will automatically change. Then it will become a culture and spread to others around you also.
5. Be with children as long as possible. Play with them like a child. Don't think that i am a professor, commander, manager, father, old man and i should not play or i should only play tennis or golf (with old guys!) etc
6. Be a student always. Then automatically you will feel young and exhibit student behaviour.
7. If you are unable to do all the above, atleast fantasize being a child and playing, being a student and doing all the masti...as child and student status are the best ones to feel young! (yeah...you are right!...you can fantasize of being an infant also...hihihi...like me
...always on the lap of your mother!)8. Be amidst the crowds of children or students. Never be in the company of old people.
9. While you discharge the expectations out of the roles, responsibilities of the statuses you hold, do not get emotionally attached to them.
10. Once you do all the above, people will say, 'hai ...you look very young man!'...to add...you can physically remain slim and fit to give that young guy looks...and change whatever required to give the young looks...
11. Teach the above to those around you so that you create an environment around you with people of like minds...who do not relate age, status and behaviour.
12. While we expect and teach our children to become 'commander' , 'professor', 'CEO' etc, let us also teach them this aspect of not relating age, behaviours and status...and the advantage of being a student always!
13. Don't think 'what others will think about me..will they not think i am a loosu...crack nut...etc.'...live your life for you...not for others...you cannot satisfy every one on earth...there will always be some who are not satisfied...even Mohan Das Karam Chand Gandhi, who is adored as 'Mahatma' and 'Father of the nation' was killed. He did not die natually!....there are many ways of driving your status in others minds while you remain a child or student...as i said earlier...use them effectively!
14. Do not remember the birthdays. Feel always that you are just born!...to know this world and people more and more.
15. Dress like a child or student...do not have the typical attire of the status...just be little different and creative enough to feel that you are not that aged related to that status.
16. Remember...your college and school friends are the ones with whom you can freely exhibit the child or student behaviour...for e.g you can say 'hai machhi...varriyaa oru aattam podalaam!'.....this is a student behaviour...this behaviour you can't show to others....so, be with or in constant conversation or chat or in contact with your school or college friends who want to remain young!
Please, i reiterate again...i have spoken only about 'how to remain young while getting aged'....and not about the emotion - 'happiness'.
hai guys...i always feel i am an infant, child and i have always remained in my life as a student...while being a father, commander, professor, adult etc...this is known to all my friends...i am always in the company...at least psychologically...of my classmates, children and school / college students...they know who i am, what i am and my psychological and physical attributes...hihihi...this is the secret of my energy...!
(db...puriyuthaadaa madaiyaa!)so...so..so...so...keep rocking guys and gals!
Believe me...you are young...you can do all that a child does...you can do all that a student does...you can also do all that is expected out of you as a father, adult, etc etc while being or thinking or behaving young!
ask your mother...she will tell you...how young you are....with her words...'vaadaa en chellakkutty!... nee eppavumey kozhanthai thaanda raasaa!...en chellathhey yaar raa kelavan nnu sonnathu...adraa avanai!' mbaanga!
enna yosanai...keep that damn thing away...and come...let us play!...let us sing!...let us jump in the rain!
daddy mummy naama illey...
thadai poda yaarum illey...
vilayaadi paappom ippa thillaanaaa!
rams
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