why boys are unable to give what the girls want?

hai friends...how are we?...this mail may be long...but i assure you, you will feel benefited after the read...specially the girls!!!...of course, the boys will forward this to their girls!! (don't forget to thank me every minute if your life turns out to be beautiful after that!!)...of course, the same thing will happen to girls also!!!!...the spice is, there is a beautiful video link in this mail...

i have attached the photos of a beautiful girl who visited my office!

did you read my previous mail on becoming a writer?...if that has not motivated you, then read an attachment here...hope it motivates you to get such letters with your name!!!

what i type here is not given in any of the books...it is just my thought!...

if you also think, with 'nature' or 'reality' as the frame of reference, you will also get the same revelations...if you read books other than text books (e.g 'men are from mars and women are from venus' etc) you might only get some info...but if you read the text books, then you can write many books on your own by observing people and society...!!!!

those of you interested in reading psychology or sociology text books can down load the pdf files from IGNOU (eGyankosh link) or NIOS (national institute of open schooling...this gives books of 11th and 12th level)...books of both these links are very good...first read NIOS materials and then the IGNOU books...great ones!...of course, the study materials of most of the universities like bharathiyar univ are also good...in fact they are the best, because they are the 'copy and paste' of most of the reference books...so by reading these study materials you will get the impact of reading many reference books!...

after reading them if you observe people, you will become another buddha or vivekananda or gandhi...will never get angry with others...you will love every one on this earth...you will be cool always...you will do great also in your life and profession...you will know that the reason for a person being like that is not because of him but because of people around him...no one is a born terrorist...we have made them to be so...if we are x it is not because of us it is because of people around us!...so we are all good...

psychology is 'behaviour of individuals' sociology is about 'behaviours of groups'....

many say that facebook is not good, but i get mail once in a while from facebook saying 'notifications pending', when i click them, i find lots of valuable quotes for life on the walls of the contacts which appear on my screen, so internet and social sites also give lots of value for life...only thing is we only read...we don't follow in life...if we follow even few, our lives will be great...many do not read forwarded mails...here too i find lots of valuable info for life...

i have been receiving mails with appreciatory words, but as expected, i did not receive any mail on my previous mail on 'is the tool we use to measure love in life is right?'...

in fact i don't receive any critic mails from the psychologists...may be they are busy...but one Senior Scientific officer from Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Mumbai who is like 'subbudu' (the famous carnatic critic of tamil nadu) in indian psychologists group, criticizes many, criticized me too, but later on started liking my mails, in fact asking for mails if i am silent, said he wanted to meet me one day, and appeared at coimbatore suddenly 15 days back, and mailed me, came home, met me...more than me, my parents felt happy when he spoke to them...

ok...we start with the end of the previous mail...why men are unable to give what girls want?...which they consider as the fulcrum of their life...love...relationship between them and their boys...if this is not there, they just become wood...they treat their boys as wood...they treat the relationship only for society sake...even if the boys give all the hierarchical needs i explained earlier in their own way (it includes love also...boys give that...in their own way...in the way that they can naturally get...but not in way that girls can value or appreciate!)...every boy (please remember...no age here...words 'boy' and 'girl' are ageless) has his own natural way of indicating that he loves her!

ok...let us go to the bold lettered words...i.e the behaviours based on which girls measure the quality and quantity of love...

talks, touches here and there, kisses, hugs, romance looks, naughty acts, talks or acts which have emotional value to indicate to the girl that he cares for her, discuss on subjects of mutual interest, cuddling (it means, as per wikipedia affectionate play or caressing, fondling, petting, snuggling, necking, foreplay, stimulation, arousal) etc...etc...(hihihi...if you ask the girls they will add hundred more such words...in fact, already they must be angry with me that i have listed only few such words...because they are 'bundle of love' and nothing more than that...whereas boys are just 'blood, bones and muscles!...searching for the 'bundle'!!!...it is quite natural that nature has made them this way as 'child birth, rearing and making a family' needs only love and nothing else...and boys, created for procreation, require only blood, bones and muscles!...

you might ask 'why not they have the love component?'...they have, as nature has created them to protect the family where the girl and the children play, enjoy, eat, share love, experience freedom of speech and all behaviours etc etc within the security envelope the boy has created...i.e social, economic, emotional, legal security envelope...so, while providing this envelope he also finds some happiness of sharing the love 'in his own ways'...imagine if this envelope does not exist!...i had a patient yesterday about whom i will describe in the next mail...if you listen to the story of this patient you will understand the importance of this envelope...you might ask 'do you think girls alone can not create this envelope?...why boys are required to create this envelope?'...of course, girls alone can also create...but it will lack something...it will not be complete...you will find the food lacking something which is important...this is what is given by the boys...may be as husband or boy friend or soul mate or whatever name you give!

ok...let us get on with the  business...if you carefully look at the bold lettered issues, some of them are 'natural' and some of them are 'learnt'...now, which are all natural?

if you leave a child in a forest without any human beings around, all the behaviours it shows to get its food, shelter, protect from enemies, procreate are natural behaviours...it also learns from animals around and nature...these are learnt behaviours...

if you observe all living beings, the male and female organisms exhibit certain behaviours to attract the opposite sex for procreative behaviours...all these are natural behaviours...some produce distinct smell, sounds, some show behaviours like dance etc...

in the case of human beings...boys wear attractive dresses, possess attractive gadgets, possess attractive vehicles, show some behaviours to indicate to girls that 'i am not a boy. I am a grown up man!' e.g zooming in bikes, smoking, stylish talks, eating, gestures etc, praising words...girls also attract boys in their own way...these are natural behaviours...no one need to teach...it comes automatically to boys and girls...so, all married and unmarried boys exhibit these behaviours naturally to their girls...

what girls additionally look for are the 'learnt behaviours'...i.e all the bold lettered behaviours...now who teaches them?...it is the mother!!!!...mother teaches the art of romancing to her children!...it starts moment the child is born!...the mom cuddles, kisses, hugs, keeps in her warmth, feeds, bathes, protects, beautifies...the child likes all these and 'learns' to do these to others whom it loves...so it is not a classroom formal learning...it is informal learning on bed, at home etc...

if you don't believe watch this you tube video....

http://youtu.be/6nHvpKYDDRE

so, mom plays a crucial role in every one's life...

many grow without mother...even if present, without her bold lettered behaviours...the working mothers have less time to do all these...many grow in orphanages, boarding schools etc...the end result is you get husbands like you have....sorry...sorry... some have and keep cursing for their fate!

some learn from others and other media too...but it can not match that comes from the mother...as it starts from the day one of our lives, continues, and becomes part of our life...not like something which we learn in class, practice etc...

ok...you watched the video...the boy continues with that behaviour with his mom...he grows up...at 17 he does not do like this with his mom...because of 'what others will think' feeling...mom also feels like that...even if she wants to be like that with her son...so there is a wall between the two...separation...he does not get that anymore from his mom...but he wants it...as it is his lifeline...basics of life...living...without that all that he has or getting from every one and everything around becomes meaningless...as love is the basic of living beings...specially humans!!!

...so he looks for a girl with whom he can do like this and from whom he can get like his mother...so he searches for his mother in other girls...can you see how a boy starts feeling love behaviour with girls!!!!...when he looks at a girl, finds her looks, personality traits matching with that of his mother or he feels she can replace his mother, then he starts loving her...but the girl may not replace his mother in reality...then what happened in coimbatore few days back happens...i.e for three days consecutively boys killed their girls, who loved them initially but went away later, and killed themselves too!!!...so my dear mothers, if you don't want your son to search for their mother outside, if you think it is not the right age and time in life for him to look for, then give what you have been giving when he was a child without bothering about 'what others will think'!!!!...there are a big list of 'wrongs' in our culture ...this is one!

most of the trouble-some boys, terrorists, rapists, not good in studies...in general, the reason for all the negative behaviours in boys is due to lack of mother, mother's love, motherly love from their wives....so, if every one gets his mother, if mothers behave like mothers, if wives remain like their mothers also, then all boys will be good, excel in studies, excel in profession, excel as a good husband 'everywhere', no terrorists, no wars...love and only love everywhere!!!

so girls, what are you planning to do now?...want to cry?...want to curse your mother in law?...want to kkkkkkick your husband hard?...want to curse your fate?

No...just get up!...and get going!...take your son and 'the son of a gun!' to the bed...start teaching them...become a mother for both!...do everything that a mother does to a child, including that of a wife!...better late than never!...teach both the guns!......so that your son does not become like your husband and spoil the life of another girl!...and the 'son of a gun' becomes like your son!...keeps running behind you like a puppy like your son!...believe me no one is a wood or wants to be a wood!...he will go wherever he finds his 'mother'!...why not that be you!...

so, boys don't want just wives...they want mothers first!!!...like the mother in the youtube link...not the mothers and mother in laws we see in tv serials!!!...unfortunately the young wives of ours like in youtube link, become like tv serials Ms and M in laws as they get old...so the mother in them fades away...so our grown up boys (men) do not find their mothers in their wives...they become wood or search for mothers again!!!...and the girls cry!!!!

love is the deadliest weapon on earth...not atom bombs!...it can make any living being (why only humans!) change...nations change!

all the best...keep rocking...hope the time spent reading this mail is worth spent and you are ready now to run to bed with your small son and big son!...come on get, set, goooooooo!

bye