'you' and 'you'th!

hai friends....how are we?

hope you enjoyed my previous mail on 'sources of unconditional love...i.e all living beings on earth other than human beings!()'

i started making this series of mails for my psg and mit classmates...now lots of students, professors and professionals also got added to this network...the result is my 'lollu's and 'ravusu's (i.e fun) have mellowed down and my classmates are missing something!...they are in 'tamilish' language!...so others, please disregard those parts of the mails!

every day evening when my vehicle crosses the 'paappampatti pirivu' bus stop on trichy road (between 5 pm to 5.30pm) i see a college girl from economically weaker section waiting for the bus (dei...dei...dei...appidi paakkaatheengadaa!!)...wearing the same dress every day, last many months!!!...not even one day she has changed the dress!!!!!...can you believe this?...as it is a green luminescent coloured dress it catches the eyes amidst the dull colour dressed people (we, the dark people here, wear dull coloured clothes so that the dirt is not visible!!!!...we give more importance to 'dirt not being visible' than the 'bright' pleasant looks!!!). While the increasing divide between the rich and poor and politicians / spiritual and religious gurus living amidst thousands of crores and other wealth glaringly comes in front, the guts of the girl to wear the same dress without worrying about 'what others will think' (which is our culture!) and ability of the girl to wash it every day, dry it over night and wear it next day morning is what is impressive!!!!...she is probably trying to put her head out of water through education, good job, good living conditions for her family etc...the 'change agent' at home!!!...Great girl!!!...i wish her all the success, as some of us were also in her position during childhood!!!  (though felt like presenting some sets of clothes, but due to the developments that can take place after that, i never stopped my vehicle!!!...i can see some angry faces!!!...of course, some naughty faces too!!!)

my experience says, 'nature' is the ultimate source of peace, happines, good health and source and strength to achieve self actualisation. One among that is 'hearing' nature...during child hood it was so pleasant sitting at the banks of the river...listening to the sounds of breeze, the sounds of leaves of trees, the sound of the flowing water, the sounds of insects, the sounds of the birds and the sound of silence...amazing!!!...no comparison!...so, no wonder i developed the interest of seeing a good music. Yes!!..i don't get satisfied if i listen to music!!!...i must get total silence, and the good music should surround me giving a visual experience!!!...two of the latest songs, as per my rating 'best' are attached, specially for classmates abroad!!...of course, tamil...but music has no language, so i am sure, others also will enjoy the melody! Undoubtedly shreya ghoshal, a non tamilian, has put all tamil singers to shame through her great flawless pronunciation and value addition to tamil songs!!!

i keep getting appreciatory mails and calls from the readers...thank you all...if these mails can bring in some happiness and good health, i am happy!

now let us come to the crux of today's mail...

few years back, when the tv serials were not so famous, the movies released were about the social dynamics inside a family or within the significant people at home and around...i.e they resembled to some extent to the present day tv serials...i.e the culture depicted in the serials...i.e way of our living shown in serials...so, every one at home watched such movies...they liked them...when movies which contained the social dynamics which is not matching with their way of living, they did not like it, they felt 'ridiculous' 'not acceptable' 'not able to digest' 'not agreeing' 'unable to perceive this type of living' 'this type of living can not bring happiness and good health' etc...

but today our movie makers do not make such movies...e.g no 'thaali' (sacred thread worn by south ladies around their neck after marriage) sentiment...no depiction of girls only as 'house wives'...

they have realised that such movies will fail now...because today the target audience are only youth...their way of living is different...they know that such emotional blackmails showing symbols of cultural sentiments (e.g thaali) will not work out with them...i.e their way of living is not matching with the family social dynamics shown earlier and so they do not like it!

so, the bottom line is 'a movie or a tv serial should depict a way of living matching with our present culture or way of living or the way we want to live'....only then it will be liked!!

the middle aged and senior adults like and watch the tv serials at home...they like it because it matches with their culture, their way of living, what they perceive as the right way of living...(if not then they would not like to watch this also) youngsters do not watch because they don't like this way of living or this culture!

what is depicted in tv serials?...a way of life with cheating, exploiting, revenge, anger, sorrows, 'showing off', ill-treating others, disrespecting elders (by the way, 'respecting' is not 'obeying' and not obeying is not disrespecting!!!), stealing, telling lies, 'think something, talk something, do something', abusing, man handling, murders, rapes, etc etc...the list is endless...if adults at home like these, does it mean that their way of living is same as that is shown in serials?...or is it the life they want to live?...if we say 'that is the life lived by others (not me) around us and so we like watching it' then are we not looking, hearing and thinking about all 'wrongs' only all the time?(as most of our indians spend most of their life time observing what others do...so, they never have time to observe their own-selves towards becoming noble...it is our culture to observe what others do!!!!...the bloody indian culture!!!!). 

Also, what we read, see, think and experience physically or mentally or both is what is stored in our brain and when we face same kind of people, threats or situations in life, our brain perceives, plans, solves or tackles the situation in the same way...as that is the solution available in stored form, learnt form in the brain.

We might say 'no boss! it is not so! i only see them as 'how not to be' and do not follow in life!'...but without our knowledge it comes out...unless we consciously make an effort to look for alternate methods of tackling the people and situations.

by the way, are the characters living such a life in serials happy?...if we live such a life will we be happy?...so what is the point in saying 'boss! i am not happy yar!' after watching and living such a life?

our indian culture says be noble, don't use foul language that can hurt others, eat healthy food, follow positive emotions, no negative emotions, no negative perceptions and thinking, live the way it is said in mahabharat or ramayana or bhagwat gheetha, do yoga, mediation, exercise, eat natural foods, use natural medicines, live in natural settings, go out of the family and observe other cultures (life in gurukul...the king's son did not live in palace...he lived in forest along with his teacher and other economically weaker boys, went around to all countries to learn what is life!!!) and   etc...the list is looooooong!!!

if we are living correctly as said in these books then are these books saying to live as per what is shown in  tv serials?...if we are not living as per what is said in these books then are we living as per indian culture?...

what we need to do is take a paper and write the emotions we undergo throughout the day...the thinking we have...the types of behaviours we have exhibited to others around us throughout the day....we need to read the list at the end of the day...it will tell us about what we are, our life and living!...and whether it will lead to happy, healthy and self actualizing life or not!!!

so, the way of living of youth is different from adults at home...therefore their likes and dislikes related to culture is different...but they all live inside the same house...

the crux is...

1. the way of living of youth at home and adults at home are different. Therefore, there is always a mismatch of thinking, beliefs and decision making.

It is the case always. Any family or a social network of relatives 100 years back or now or later will have people aged 20, 40, 60 and 80. There will be cultural variations between all these people. The way they have grown up is different. The society which has grown them is different. The way they perceive people, issues, situations and way of tackling will be different. Therefore, their likes, dislikes, decision making, way of living, definition of what is right and wrong, what is good or bad...in short 'everything' will be different. But they have to live inside the same house. Adaptability is not just 20 adapting to rest all. It is 'each one adapting to others'...i.e even the 80 has to adapt to the rest all. Otherwise, they will land up in old age homes. So, it is not correct to blame the youth for the growing old age homes. It is the 'rigidity' 'dictatorial' behaviours of others at home which makes them to land up in old age homes. We need to remove the concept of 'Head of the family'...80 thinks he is the head. 60 also thinks he is the head. 40 is not less. 20 is obviously confused as to who is the head!!!...it is similar to 'master and slave' or 'manager and worker' concepts which are dead. If we are alive then we can not use these concepts anymore whether inside the house or outside in society or organizations. It is a 'team' which lives inside the home organisation...who takes decision is not important...the decision is important!!!...it's implementation i.e the strategy is what is important!!...so, 20, 40, 60 and 80 have to understand these and adapt to each other for happiness, good health and achievement path for the entire family. If not, BE READY TO LOOSE YOUR CHILDREN AND GET LOST!!!!

2. adults tell the youth not to be bad, not to have bad habits, not to have bad way of living, not to be angry, not to cheat, not to exploit, not to take revenge, not to shout, not to be unhappy, not to ill-treat others, not do disrespect elders, not to be unhealthy, not to steal, 'think, talk and do same', not to abuse, not to man handle, not do murders and rapes etc...but they watch all these in the serials, follow that life (the very fact of liking indicates this)...so, the youth get confused or learning of such a bad unhappy life happens in them unconsciously without their knowledge. So, don't blame the youth for what they are!!!

3. Hard core sentiments or emotions are gone by. Rigidity in living or concept of life is gone by. Flexibility is what is in. This is what is shown in today's movies. Fun and taking everything lightly, flexibly, maturely and not taking it to heart. This is what is today's way of living. This is what is social family dynamics that will survive today. So, the adults at home should watch such movies and adapt to this way of living. They have to mature, come out of the shell, come out of the narrow and shallow thinking and understand that 'different culture and different way of living' means not 'sleeping with every one' and it is much more than that!...it also means 'not sleeping with every one!'...it is not against 'sleeping with one'!!! otherwise old age home will welcome them!

the life of elders at home will be only fun, happiness, good health, valued and respected only if they stop watching the tv serials, stop following that way of living, start watching today's movies, start visualizing the goodness in them and way of life described, start following the way of noble living told in mahabharat or ramayan or such books, not be dictators like ravan or duryodhana at home, but be cool like ram and lakshman and fun like anuman (!!!), marrying both cultures and start living with a smiling face....like this smiley here...

ok guys and gals...keep rocking...bye

ravusu rams