what a bloody question yaar!...and what a bloody answer yaar!!

hai me friends...thanks a lot for all the sms...i too enjoyed telling and showing you all that..keep in touch...be good to you...be good to others...do well in studies...keep rocking...!

here is yet another mail...my usual mails...

rams

--- On Wed, 4/4/12, M.RAMASUBRAMANIAN R.MANICKARAJAN <mramasubramanian1@yahoo.co.in> wrote:

From: M.RAMASUBRAMANIAN R.MANICKARAJAN <mramasubramanian1@yahoo.co.in>
Subject: what a bloody question yaar!....and what a bloody answer yaar!
To: "M.RAMASUBRAMANIAN R.MANICKARAJAN" <mramasubramanian1@yahoo.co.in>
Date: Wednesday, 4 April, 2012, 6:27 PM

hai friends....i received a mail...it has lots of questions...the answers are given below then and there...more in detail about each issue later...read on for the questions and replies...

"yeah its nice and interesting......i got some doubts in my head....i am asking you because i want to understand this life more better at this age....yeah....for that read my mails...all about life, living, ('life' and 'living' are different e.g Dawood ibrahim has a better 'living' compared to that of Mahatma Gandhi but the 'life' of Dawood ibrahim has no comparison to that of Mahatma Gandhi!) career, behaviours, relationships etc can not be said in one line or one mail illaiyaa...as human being is the only system on earth whose behavioural characteristics can not be defined by an equation or even a set of equations...forget about the order of the equation!!!!...one good e.g is you give one input, it will give an output which is not related to input...that is why i take up one issue and keep writing about all that in different mails...

first is....is possessiveness good?...no!...it is worst!...it will kill all the people involved...will cause physical and mental ailments and will not allow us to achieve...so the basic aim of life to be happy, healthy and achieved will not happen!...we should not be possessive about anyone, anything because nothing is permanent in life...every thing changes...every one changes...in looks and behaviours...so not worth...we should remain connected and disconnected...we should remain attached and detached...it is for this reason that we should not get possessive which will affect us and others...possessiveness leads to conditional love which is painful for both...so love should be unconditional and non possessive...more about this later in mails...ok vaa...because i can type hundreds of pages on this one word...in our relationships we should not be emotionally involved...we should not expect anything...emotional relationships and expectations will lead to possessiveness...we should emotionally involved with nature, physical things which will not expect anything from us....all of us have naturally the urge to love nature...which is there at all places...will remain for ever...so you will not feel ditched or cheated...so, start loving nature...love your job...love what ever you do at any time...have many physical things like toys, audio and videos which you can keep for ever...love books...they will not ditch or cheat you...love music...love to paint...love to play instruments...love to dance...like this love any art form involving creativity...you will always be happy...you will never feel cheated...more in future mails...ok vaa....i can keep typing endlessly....and why does it bring problems...because of too much of love and expectations...it demands change in behaviour of others...which affects their life, interests, needs and wants...so they do not like it...and it pains us... in our life and how to just forget r reduce it...?...by loving things which are there everywhere...which is there in you (skills and knowledge...like art forms...painting, singing etc etc) which will remain with you only (physical objects like toys, audios, videos etc)...like i explained above...

does possessiveness on a person mean that they love us very much....?...no! it only means that they do not love!...they are only parasites...they are narrow minded...they only want their happiness to be fulfilled...they might reciprocate love to you and meet your expectations...but in general possessiveness leads to impractical demands from the other...how can love cause pain to the other person!...how it can curtail the freedom of the person whom you love?....love should only bring happiness and joy to the other person...unconditional love only can bring this...love gives happiness...love protects us...there is no one on this earth who can live without emotional support and who says he or she does not want...!...human beings are social animals...they can not remain isolated...more later...with examples and elaborations and case studies...ok vaa...

what is love?...love means liking a person or place or item...but we lock it on to a 'person'...because that is what we perceive the love to be...the love that can never give happiness always...it can give short time pleasures...but not long time happiness.... ...love has to be unconditional....not expecting anything from him or her or it...giving happiness to the other person...giving freedom to the other person...freedom to talk...freedom to exchange views, intellectual companionship...giving freedom and at the same time remaining as a protection whenever he or she needs...it is mutual...not one sided...so the other person also should be like this...if they use your concept of love as your weakness and exploit then the person does not deserve your pure love...we need to disconnect from such people...many do not know the real meaning of love...that is the problem...almost 99% of people do not know the real definition of love...so they undergo pain...put others also in pain...like this i can type endlessly to explain about love....i will type later...ok vaa...

 

please give me a lecture on this love issue....i explained what is love in the previous para...i will explain more in future mails...we keep hearing that 'love at first sight'...'i have seen many men, but when i saw him the bell rang in my brain!' etc...all these are due to physical looks...it is due to physical attraction due to physiological needs...as we age or due to child birth etc the physical looks change for both men and women...then this love will go off...after the love and marriage, due to socialisation, if their physical love gets strengthened due to 'personality traits attraction' then it can continue....which again depends upon which is more...whether physical attraction or disattraction or personality traits attraction...in general, during initial years of love and marriage, the needs of both of them match, emotional and physiological needs...after child delivery or little after that due to physiological changes the love can fade or disappear...if there is no personality traits matched love...or the needs can change and become different for both...the emotional and physiological needs remain, but may be at reduced levels compared to the other present need...the expectations of one from the other becomes different...so the relationship weakens silently without their knowledge...behaviors change so slowly that we notice only after a long time...there are lot of issues here also....i can type endlessly...i will type in future mails...in general, in love and marriage 'what and how much you give is what and how much you get!'...the converse is also true...'what you don't give is what you don't get!'...so 'give to take'!....because i want to feel and know what real and true love is....i have explained this earlier...and more later...in a nutshell, you will always be happy, healthy and achieving in real love...in wrong love you will always cry and be unhealthy and not achieving...

this brings even more doubts...does talking to your first loved girl mean that he still likes her?...generally yes...there are many who live with her / him mentally...many forget and start living with the new...some live with both...at mental level only or physical too...there are as many variations as the number are...what boys feel about real and true love  ...nature has produced them as hoppers...at mental level or physical too...love is not one sided....it is mutual...so lots of efforts are required from both to keep the love going...it also depends upon the initial days of socialisation as it forms the base for the love...'husband' and 'wife' social statuses can not in general have true love....as the social roles for these statuses if you see it like boss and worker type relationship where true love can not exist...more later...ok vaa...

do they mean it when they say that...?...no...men give love for sex...women give sex for love...they might think they mean it...they themselves do not know...only when they start getting dis-attracted with the same girl they realise that it was only infatuation...physical attraction etc...that is the time the girl also comes to know which is late realisation by then and all the damage has been done to her...for a boy it is no or less damage as he is not physically affected...whereas the girl is physically affected as she gains wait and loses shape etc...i.e the old beauty changes...more later...ok vaa....

problem with me is that i expect and depend on people and i get hurt at the end...wrong!...you should not expect...and not depend on...in an organisational context you need to demand quality and quantity...if they can not meet the expectations then you need to find out why?...lack of knowledge?...lack of resources?...or lack of or wrong attitude etc. and accordingly take corrective steps...more later...you should not take it emotionally...you should not involve emotionally with people...if involved then problems of love etc...you may not love any...but many might love you...the wrong love...then they will trouble you......

moreover when i get too angry i talk without thinking...start doing yoga, taking balanced diet without any junk food...do meditation...go for morning and evening walks in clean atmosphere with nature...this will reduce the negative emotions and emotional imbalances....as your hormonal and neuro transmitter secretions will remain stable and normal...more later........i want to know what people say when they love us...they don't say anything...they only spread happiness to us...you will only feel...you will not hear...they will not keep running behind...to attract you...to change you to match their behaviours...they don't force...they only give their opinion...they respect your views, ideas, feelings, emotions, opinions etc...they will not expect you to be with them and nearby etc...like this i can go on...more later...ok vaa...

bye guys...keep rocking!

ravusu rams!