காதலிக்க நேரமில்லை or காதலிக்க தெரியவில்லை!

ஹாய் கண்ணுகளா...நல்லா இருக்கீங்களா... (i can hear some guys saying வந்துட்டாண்டா!...வந்துட்டாண்டா...!)

இனிய தீபாவளி வாழ்த்துக்கள்...உங்கள் வாழ்க்கையில்...சந்தோஷமும், மன நலமும், உடல் நலமும், போதும் என்ற மனமும் நிறைய நல வாழ்த்துக்கள் !

சில மாதங்களுக்கு முன்னால் LET US DIG OURSELVES! என்ற தலைப்பில் சில மெயில் களை அனுப்பி இருந்தேன்....Now it continues on an interesting topic...

as my mails are related to being young, happy and healthy (both physical and mental)…here is yet another series of mails to keep you young, happy and healthy…(don’t tell me later…'அட பாவி! மறுபடியும் வந்து தூக்கத்தை கெடுத்துட்டியேடா!’)….. Just read the question below…

'டேய் பன்னி! ஏன்டா என்னை ரெண்டு நாளா கட்டி புடிக்கலை ?'

you may conceive that the two people concerned here may be in their teens or twenties and their social status may be conceived as ‘lovers’. Why so? They could be married couple and they could be in their thirties or forties or fifties or even eighties, as age of the body does not matter in any social relationship. It is the age of the mind that matters.

The age is decided by the mind and the resultant behaviours which further decide the physical and mental health and the rate of aging of the body. Why the behaviour between spouses should be related to age, status (like father, wife, husband etc) and roles / responsibilities? why the behaviours should not be beyond the boundaries?...who set the boundaries?...elders and social system...evolution...break the rubbish if it limits your happiness or removes the happiness!.......this thinking belongs to the dead agrarian society (society in which life, culture, everything is based on agriculture, animal rearing and related products / industry)!...it does not match for the industrial society of today!

the aim of this birth is to be happy...nature has produced all living beings with main functions as 'eating' and 'reproduction'...human beings can be 'happy' too while  achieving all five levels of need hierarchies!

If the age of the mind of the two people in socialisation matches then this is the best situation. If not, there is a problem…there is a barrier…one of them suffers leading to the suffering of the other due to strained relationships…if there is no open communication due to non conducive social climate it leads to cold wars…dormant volcanoes are more dangerous than the erupting ones!...cold wars are invisible and leads to disturbances in all spheres of life of all individuals related to them in family, office and other social systems and the mental and physical health of every one gets affected.

'டேய் பன்னி! ஏன்டா என்னை ரெண்டு நாளா கட்டி புடிக்கலை ?'

This question shows the level of intimacy and openness between them describing the social climate carved by them knowingly or unknowingly over the period of their socialisation. It shows that their social relationship is not like traditional husband and wife but like ‘lovers’- beyond the boundaries of the traditional Hindu Indian social system – ‘The family’ which traditionally describes the status and roles of the Husband as the Head of family (giving the authority, command and control) and ‘wife’ as the ‘service provider’ for all family members without any authority, freedom of expression and command and control…just little better than a servant!

If some one says that the individual is happy being ‘husband’ or ‘wife’ then following are clear:-

1. They have well accommodated inside the family social system assuming the roles and responsibilities of their status as ‘husband’ or ‘wife’.
2. They have accepted that their life means only responsibilities and the happiness that emerges from only fulfilling the responsibilities.
3. They will age faster in mind and body.
4. Their happiness gets limited and it is with boundaries. Therefore their happy moments are less in life.
5. They are likely to get the most dangerous (you may not agree but this is the fact!) chronic diseases like Hypertention, CVDs, Diabetes etc early in their life.
6. They are anxiety struck and life is full of struggles for them.
7. Failures in fulfilling their responsibilities will affect them badly.
8. They can land up in loss of self esteem, depression etc in case of troubles in life.
9. They live ‘official’ social life in ‘family’ social system.
10. They have seen only very few dimensions of happiness in life and not seen the remaining dimensions of happiness.

But by being ‘lovers’ beyond the age and family social system boundaries, they become ageless, boundary less, limitless in the fun or happiness or joy and are out of the 10 dangers above while being husband and wife also!

But the most unfortunate thing is the lovers later become ‘proper’ husband and wife after marriage and get fully immersed and entangled in only duties and responsibilities and in this heat the ‘love’ vapourises!...here comes the problem!

என்னா கண்ணுகளா...மெயில் சூபேரா இருக்கா...விஷயம் ஹாட்டா இருக்கா....there are many issues in socialisation between two people of opposite sexes...generally we wish not to talk about these issues...our culture is like that...but they haunt us in the concious or sub concious minds...and decide our behaviours...which decide our mental and subsequently the physical health also...keep us unhappy!...why to remain unhappy?...are we born for that?

we will discuss all these issues in the அனுமார் வால் mails in the days to come...

wish you all the best...எல்லோருக்கும் மறுபடியும் தீபாவளி நல வாழ்த்துக்கள்...நல்லா புது துணி போட்டு...அளவா ஸ்வீட் சாப்பிட்டு...பட்டாசு வெடிச்சு...பிரண்ட்ஸ் கூட சிரிச்சு பேசி...சந்தோஷமா வாழ இந்த ராம்ஸ் ன் வாழ்த்துக்கள் !

ரவுசு ராம்ஸ்