From:
"M.RAMASUBRAMANIAN R.MANICKARAJAN" <mramasubramanian1@yahoo.co.in>
View contact details
To:
"pooja bahulikar"
<pooja_bahulikar@yahoo.co.in>, "Principal"
<m.ezhilarasi@kgkite.ac.in>, "PROF DR RAJKUMARI PSYCHOLOGIST"
<archish98@yahoo.co.in>, "psg ece"
<jananidhandapani@gmai.com>, "psg ece" <brindhacj@gmail.com>... more
hai
friends...how are we...hope you remember that i frame these mails for
my psg and mit classmates...so language will not show age or appointment
or rank related behaviours of military hierarchy...ok vaa...!
i thought after reading the last mail some of my psg or mit classmates who are HODs or Professors will come up like in that vadivelu comedy "Yengalai yellaam paathhaa young girls maathiri theriyalaiyaa yenna?'...why they have not asked? (not a million dollar question, just one rupee question!!!)
i think we will see something more about robots and 'robosapiens' in the next mail...i am not going to discuss about this now...as i have paathhu tholaichhified a tamil movie...fun
movie...'kaathalil sothappuvathu yeppadi'...('chey!...nee suthha waste
raa!...it has become such an old movie and you are seeing only
now!...thandam...thandam!!!')....good movie...seeing a good fun movie
after the last one...'unnaaley unnaaley'...it is nice to see the
dynamics between lovers of today ('aamaandaa!...unakku vera velaiye
illaiyaa?')...it is nice to see the lovers figuring out the exact reason
for their fights...urr...urrrs!...the characters clearly come out
saying 'expectations' and 'possessiveness' are the reasons for their
fights, breakups etc...but they are unable to come out of
it...(dei...dei...padam paakkarathu enjoy panna...not to analyse like
this...padam paathhamaa ponamaa nnu irukkanum...summaa noi noi noi nnu
nonda koodaathu!)...we can make out that universally it is true that
...between lovers or spouses...when the expectations are not
met...longingness increases...when longing increases frustration also
increases...when the frustration increases anger comes...when the anger
comes, all types of words and emotions come...then break up...break
up...instead they can talk it out...but even this does not help as the
expectations are not met!...it only postponed expecting that the
expectations will be met...only feel that being engineers...both the
characters...siddharth and josephine...sorry...some
paul...haan...haan...amala paul...should have said very clearly that
'expectation is proportional to the intensity of attraction (so called
love?)...and longingness, frustration and anger are proportional to the
extent of expectations not met...but there is a breakage point like the
youngs' modulus curve...the difference is in stress versus strain curve
the wire
can not be joined again, but here the hearts can be joined together
again!!!'
('yengey daa...yengey daa.... antha seruppai kaanom')...hmmm...one is
ECE and the other is Computer science...so we will exempt them!
hai guys...is there no way out of this mess in our lives?....yes...it is there...just try out not expecting anything from your lover or spouse or any of your significant people...also try not being possessive about them...you will find that the other person is really great (all that 'useless guy' 'sweet f all he can do to keep me happy' 'hmmm...my parents ditched me with this guy!'...'hmm...at that young age like an idiot i fell for this guy!' etc will vapourise!)...you will find that the relationship is glowing...you will start fantasizing about that person and the relationship...you will start feeling 'whavvv...what a guy i have got in my life!'...'the best relationship on earth is this!' etc)...
hei...hei...hei...don't tell him 'hey look! rams says we should not expect or be possessive!...so today onwards i am not going to expect anything from you...and i am not possessive about you! ok!'...if you tell like this he will say "dei machaan rams! nee vaazhgadaa!' nnu odeeduvaan!...so don't tell him...but just feel like that in your mind...you will find a great change in you...in fact you will get more than what you have been expecting all these years!!!
at least the feeling of getting...we need to remember one thing...in love life 'if we expect, we will not get'...'if we are possessive we are sure to loose'...'we get what we give'...'we don't get what we don't give'.... (chey...chey...yenna pon mozhigal po!!!...kalakkeetteydaa rams!)
when the relationship goes on well we feel happy about it...start fantasizing about the other person and the relationship...when the expectations not met as perceived are more than the tolerance limit we feel..."you bloody bitch!...f er!...use less you are!...you are a cheater!...you are a waste raa!...nee oru ulaga magaa vetti daa!...don't ever come infront of me!...get lost!...get lost for ever!!!' etc...the BP will increase...blood vessels will burst...our life will get ruined!
instead of this if we start thinking 'what a nice guy he is!...he made me happy...he made me to realise what is love...he showed me heavens!...he showed me stars!...what a nice time i had with him...hmmm...memorable days...memorable moments...the best days of my life...so what if he has gone from me...his memories are with me...no one can steal them...they will remain ever with me keeping me in pleasant drizzles of happiness all the time...thanks daa for giving me such an experience in life...thanks raa for giving me a pleasant chapter in my life'...
how is it?...nice illaiyaa...if we think like this we will experience happiness...will remain in heaven always...so, you want heaven or hell?
so, let us...
1. not expect from our significant people and from the relationships with them...
2. let us only have pleasant feelings about our significant people and the relationships...and not wildness learnt from our culture...
3. fantasy is more beautiful than reality...
4. separate as friends and not as enemies 9the way we do in our culture)
we need to realise that when the significant person gets angry, it indicates that 'he or she loves more...anger is not due to the hatredness or dislike...it is due to unlimited love and liking...it is a negative expression of positive love...negative emotion of positive emotion!....that is what one lover shouts in one of the tamil songs...'yes...i love this idiot!...i love this lovable idiottttttttttttt!'...
wofffffffffffff!...i think it is enough about love in this mail...(hmmm...athennadaa...how much ever you dissect this issue it does not get kachhadaa but only gets beautiful!...)
now going back to the last mail....you must have seen the mail of a psychologist mr k purandaran...you also must be remembering what he said there....now you read the mail below which he has sent after that...
Dear Commander
i thought after reading the last mail some of my psg or mit classmates who are HODs or Professors will come up like in that vadivelu comedy "Yengalai yellaam paathhaa young girls maathiri theriyalaiyaa yenna?'...why they have not asked?
(not a million dollar question, just one rupee question!!!)i think we will see something more about robots and 'robosapiens' in the next mail...i am not going to discuss about this now...as i have paathhu tholaichhified a tamil movie
...fun
movie...'kaathalil sothappuvathu yeppadi'...('chey!...nee suthha waste
raa!...it has become such an old movie and you are seeing only
now!...thandam...thandam!!!')....good movie...seeing a good fun movie
after the last one...'unnaaley unnaaley'...it is nice to see the
dynamics between lovers of today ('aamaandaa!...unakku vera velaiye
illaiyaa?')...it is nice to see the lovers figuring out the exact reason
for their fights...urr...urrrs!...the characters clearly come out
saying 'expectations' and 'possessiveness' are the reasons for their
fights, breakups etc...but they are unable to come out of
it...(dei...dei...padam paakkarathu enjoy panna...not to analyse like
this...padam paathhamaa ponamaa nnu irukkanum...summaa noi noi noi nnu
nonda koodaathu!)...we can make out that universally it is true that
...between lovers or spouses...when the expectations are not
met...longingness increases...when longing increases frustration also
increases...when the frustration increases anger comes...when the anger
comes, all types of words and emotions come...then break up...break
up...instead they can talk it out...but even this does not help as the
expectations are not met!...it only postponed expecting that the
expectations will be met...only feel that being engineers...both the
characters...siddharth and josephine...sorry...some
paul...haan...haan...amala paul...should have said very clearly that
'expectation is proportional to the intensity of attraction (so called
love?)...and longingness, frustration and anger are proportional to the
extent of expectations not met...but there is a breakage point like the
youngs' modulus curve...the difference is in stress versus strain curve
the wire
can not be joined again, but here the hearts can be joined together
again!!!'
('yengey daa...yengey daa.... antha seruppai kaanom')...hmmm...one is
ECE and the other is Computer science...so we will exempt them!hai guys...is there no way out of this mess in our lives?....yes...it is there...just try out not expecting anything from your lover or spouse or any of your significant people...also try not being possessive about them...you will find that the other person is really great (all that 'useless guy' 'sweet f all he can do to keep me happy' 'hmmm...my parents ditched me with this guy!'...'hmm...at that young age like an idiot i fell for this guy!' etc will vapourise!)...you will find that the relationship is glowing...you will start fantasizing about that person and the relationship...you will start feeling 'whavvv...what a guy i have got in my life!'...'the best relationship on earth is this!' etc)...
hei...hei...hei...don't tell him 'hey look! rams says we should not expect or be possessive!...so today onwards i am not going to expect anything from you...and i am not possessive about you! ok!'...if you tell like this he will say "dei machaan rams! nee vaazhgadaa!' nnu odeeduvaan!...so don't tell him...but just feel like that in your mind...you will find a great change in you...in fact you will get more than what you have been expecting all these years!!!
at least the feeling of getting...we need to remember one thing...in love life 'if we expect, we will not get'...'if we are possessive we are sure to loose'...'we get what we give'...'we don't get what we don't give'.... (chey...chey...yenna pon mozhigal po!!!...kalakkeetteydaa rams!)
when the relationship goes on well we feel happy about it...start fantasizing about the other person and the relationship...when the expectations not met as perceived are more than the tolerance limit we feel..."you bloody bitch!...f er!...use less you are!...you are a cheater!...you are a waste raa!...nee oru ulaga magaa vetti daa!...don't ever come infront of me!...get lost!...get lost for ever!!!' etc...the BP will increase...blood vessels will burst...our life will get ruined!
instead of this if we start thinking 'what a nice guy he is!...he made me happy...he made me to realise what is love...he showed me heavens!...he showed me stars!...what a nice time i had with him...hmmm...memorable days...memorable moments...the best days of my life...so what if he has gone from me...his memories are with me...no one can steal them...they will remain ever with me keeping me in pleasant drizzles of happiness all the time...thanks daa for giving me such an experience in life...thanks raa for giving me a pleasant chapter in my life'...
how is it?...nice illaiyaa...if we think like this we will experience happiness...will remain in heaven always...so, you want heaven or hell?
so, let us...
1. not expect from our significant people and from the relationships with them...
2. let us only have pleasant feelings about our significant people and the relationships...and not wildness learnt from our culture...
3. fantasy is more beautiful than reality...
4. separate as friends and not as enemies 9the way we do in our culture)
we need to realise that when the significant person gets angry, it indicates that 'he or she loves more...anger is not due to the hatredness or dislike...it is due to unlimited love and liking...it is a negative expression of positive love...negative emotion of positive emotion!....that is what one lover shouts in one of the tamil songs...'yes...i love this idiot!...i love this lovable idiottttttttttttt!'...
wofffffffffffff!...i think it is enough about love in this mail...(hmmm...athennadaa...how much ever you dissect this issue it does not get kachhadaa but only gets beautiful!...)
now going back to the last mail....you must have seen the mail of a psychologist mr k purandaran...you also must be remembering what he said there....now you read the mail below which he has sent after that...
Dear Commander
How are you sir, I am not
receiving any mail from you. Are you busy with other pre-commitments. Keep on rocking sir. Or at
list write to me. I love to read
your mails. How is your research work going. Mine is happening in a
lethargic way. Working full time and working on a thesis is a tough
task, I need to take care of family need also. I presume you also facing
same type of problems. Or you, navy people can manage it in a better
way,
you may have a better support system. Do you need any help in the research process feel free to ask. I gained expertise in SPSS. Let us keep in touch.
With regards
K. Purandaran
Dear Cdr Ram,
Doing two Ph.D simultaneously, WOW, I am finding difficulty in doing one. Fine you are really great. Let us keep in touch.
K. Purandaran
now a mail from my mit batchmate...we stayed together (near the ladies' hostel!!!)...he
did aeronautical engg...a giant in maths...he is a senior scientist now
at vikram sarabhai space centre at trivandrum...we have not met
for the past 25 years!...(in fact, i have not met even once, most of
the contacts from whom i get mails or to whom i send these mails!!!!!)
now a mail from my mit batchmate...we stayed together (near the ladies' hostel!!!
)...he
did aeronautical engg...a giant in maths...he is a senior scientist now
at vikram sarabhai space centre at trivandrum...we have not met
for the past 25 years!...(in fact, i have not met even once, most of
the contacts from whom i get mails or to whom i send these mails!!!!!) Hi,
Rams
long time no write. Now managed to find time to appreciate your articles (sometimes a little lollu,a dash of kadi, some aruvai but lots of humour and wonderful ideas and thoughts). Are all these write-up your assignments for some course work. You give these as term paper. Prof will race to cardiologist or surrender before you.
How r things at family side? Hope every body is fine.
ok guys and gals...keep rocking...life is once...to be happy...not to keeping moving around with long faces!...every one is good...every relationship is a gift!...enjoy the pleasantness!...'cut and trash' the perceived unpleasantness!
byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
rams
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