Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO FEEL LOW, HAVE LOW SELF ESTEEM, FEEL THEY ARE NOT CAPABLE, FEEL BAD THAT EVERY ONE CRITICIZES THEM, FEEL THAT EVERY ONE ELSE IS BETTER THAN THEM.
1. All of us are born differently and grown up differently.
2. The challenges we faced are different, so, the learnt lessons are different, and therefore, our beliefs, rights and wrongs, true and false, correct and incorrect are different.
3. Every one is right in his or her own way and every other person is wrong in comparison with that.
4. So, every one assesses the other person differently and criticizes that he or she is bad, low, less intelligent or less talented, less productive, less quality, less skilled, does not know even such these simple things etc.
E.g bosses, in general, think that their subordinates or clerical staff are not up to their expectations...because they always compare their intelligence and skills with that of others below them. If their subordinates were of his/her standards then they also would have reached that level of a boss and why would they remain as subordinates or clerical staff!!...Sadly bosses and parents don't understand this!!...Their over-expectations from staff and children makes them to get frustrated.
5. So, every one will assess based on what they define is good, bad, correct or incorrect, right or wrong. Based on what they believe is life and living...or relationships!!...If those are right, good and correct then they should be highly achieved, successful in the eyes of every one, should live a peaceful, healthy and happy life, successful in marriage and all types of relationships etc. But sadly they are not!!...All such people remain in the lower jobs and define their life and living with low standards. So, it shows that all their beliefs, thoughts, assessments are wrong and not correct. So, don't bother about their assessments about you!!...Many of them may be jealous and may be want to pull you down!!
6. People who gossip bad about others, never grow, remain low.
7. Successful people and achievers don't have time to gossip about others. They are busy in reading, skill development, knowledge growth, experience gaining etc.
8. Unsuccessful and low grade people talk about others, mostly ill, successful people talk about ideas and oppurtunities.
9. So, don't join with low grade people. Join with successful people. Think about ideas and oppurtunities to grow and develop yourself.
10. It is not our job to live like what others define life as. We have to define our life and living, our goals, aims and objectives. We have to decide our destiny.
11. If we try to please others we will only fake ourselves which is stressful and we will not enjoy what we do and how we behave.
12. It is impossible to make every one assess us good by being in traditional ways.
13. We don't have any control on others and their thinking. And their talking too.
14. But we have total control on ourselves and our thinking.
15. So, don't bother about what others say, just bother about your growth and improvement. If they don't talk to you, just ignore. Such downgrading, negative people are not required in our life. They only decrease our self confidence.
16. Good, true and real friends don't giggle, don't mock at us, they don't criticise our short comings, they only think how we can be improved without pointing out our negatives, they do and implement the things necessary to improve us, and we improve without knowing our short comings, and they will feel happy that we have improved. Such friends never leave us. They will always be with us. Those who criticise us never do any good for us. Not of any use to us. Then why to bother about them and their friendships?
17. If we are good human beings, impartial, then all these people also will come to us at the times of need, because they are shameless people...opportunistic people....not good human beings for socialization. We can try changing them when they come to us for help, but no guarantee.
So, the crux is...
1. Never bother about the criticisms of others. You are unique and best as long as you are a good human being. Because this is what is rare and all the other knowledge and skills are waste and meaningless for socialization and relationships if their is no human attitude and traits of love, affection, compassion, caring and supporting.
2. One who has human qualities will not criticise and will only help to improve. They are the real good friends, and not those who criticise your weak points or exploit you on those weak points.
Peacefully yours....rams...psychologist!!
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