Thursday 15 November 2018

What is the use of relationships, what are they supposed to do?

💐💐...Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...

All of us are born on this earth through a mother and father as a small baby!! Nature also provides grandparents, siblings, children, friends...all such kinds of emotional relationships during our growth from infancy to babyhood to childhood to adolescence to adulthood.

For what?...What is the purpose?

What are they supposed to do for us?...Why all these relationships?...What are the duties and responsibilities of these relationships in real terms?

ALL OF THEM ARE AT DIFFERENT STAGES IN LIFE WITH THEIR OWN EXPERIENCES OF DIFFERENT AGES. SO, THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO TEACH US ABOVE LIVING AND INDEPENDENCY...MAKE US LEARNED ABOUT LIFE, MAKE US MENTALLY STRONG TO LIVE ALL ALONE ANYWHERE ON THIS EARTH WITHOUT DEPENDING ON OTHERS FOR ANYTHING, EATING WHATEVER IS AVAILABLE, EARNING OUR OWN FOOD, LOOK AFTER OURSELVES BY OUR OWNSELVES, ADAPTABLE TO ANY CLIMATE, LANGUAGE, CULTURE, ALL KINDS OF ENVIRONMENTS ETC.

AS WE GROW WE BECOME THOSE RELATIONSHIPS TO OTHERS AND WE ARE SUPPOSED TO MAKE OTHERS MENTALLY STRONG AND EVERYTHING ABOVE!!

But what happens ultimately?...Do all these people know what they are supposed to do to us?...Do we know the above responsibilities that Nature has vested on us?

The reality is we all get emotionally attached sooo much with these relationships, they also get attached with us, that WE BECOME TOTALLY DEPENDENT AND ATTACHED ON EACH OTHER...NONE OF THE ABOVE IS ACHIEVED...WE ALL SUFFER...!!

Parents and children get attached to each other so much that their life gets messed up totally!...Emotions are required to care and support to make the other person strong...then we are supposed to get detached till again the other person goes mentally or physically weak needing support. But we get glued to the other person always that WE END UP MAKING THE OTHER PERSON MENTALLY WEAK. All the goals and passion get buried as one cannot remain separated from the other!

We need to remember one thing...NO ONE WILL REMAIN WITH US FOR ENTIRE LIFE!!!...PEOPLE KEEP MOVING FOR STUDIES, WORK, MARRIED LIFE, ETC. SO, WE KEEP MAKING THE LOST RELATIONSHIPS WITH NEW PEOPLE NEAR BY WHEREVER WE LIVE. NO COUPLE WILL DIE SAME TIME. THEREFORE, EVERY ONE WILL REMAIN ALL ALONE ATLEAST AT OLDER AGE FOR SOME YEARS. WE HAVE TO KNOW, UNDERSTAND AND ACCEPT THIS FACT!!

'I know this, but i am unable to do, unable practice!!'...if someone says this, then it shows that there is something wrong during the manufacturing or developmental process from womb to childhood to adolescence!!...There is some issue in the brain...not normal secretions...Of course, such condition happens for every one sometimes in life, but they get alright. For some it remains life long. Through healthy food, lifestyle habits, understanding the above philosophies of life, being goal focussed, we can become strong and manage!!

So, the crux is...

1. All relationships in our life are supposed to makes us strong and independent to live all alone anywhere in the world without dependent on anyone for anything at anytime in life.

2. We are supposed to do the above for others.

3. We will be all alone many times in life. No one is permanent in our life.

4. We keep making, fantasizing or perceiving all kinds of relationships with people around at that point in time or of the past.

5. Attachment is the cause of all sorrows. Remaining detached while being attached only when required is the way out. Following duties and responsibilities in relationships and being emotional only when we are weak or when the other person is weak is the way out. But we should be ready to live without the other person in life any time!!

6. Some are able to forget the old relationships without any damages and make new relationships in no time wherever they are!! Appears weird, but they will be safe and sound mentally.

7. Love, care, emotions, attachment, support are all required, vital, essential, during the entire growth process up to 20 years and later in life too. But detachment is equally essential at every stage in life, and we need to learn this. Attachment comes naturally but detachment-in-attachment requires lots of conscious efforts. Else suffering is sure as the nest will become empty some day and we will have to be all alone or making new relationships with people nearby!!

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!....💐💐

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