hai all...how are we?*:) happy...don't get scared about another long mail*:)) laughing...it is three days holidays!!!...so, take your own sweet time and read this mail, ok!
 
News papers, or walk in our streets observing people or talking to any one is a good joke for me as it is full of fun!
 
for ganesh chathurthi, it is 1477 specially made ganesh idols of different sizes worshipped at different places in justtttt Coimbatore only...imagine the numbers all over tamil nadu or india!!!...may be in lakhs!...each 'god'*:) happy was guarded all 24 hours by police...day and night...you can do the arithmetic to find how many thousands or lakhs of police spoiled their days...and many political parties conducted this...they were immersed in 'sacred waters(!!!)'...where do we have clean water bodies to immerse them???...due to the big size each statue was painted 'by standing on ganesh'*:) happy...great!!!...we and our great new culture we are creating!
 
now read on more about our great culture we have created...
 
THE GENITALS BASED CULTURE
 
Indian culture…by culture I mean ‘the way we define life, set our beliefs and attitudes and carry out our day to day living’.
 
Note: I am not talking about any religion or cast. It is about living in general across all religions and castes in our country.
Also my focus is on the majority who live in villages, towns and suburban areas…not those live in urban and metropolitan cities.
In fact everyone in our country irrespective of place of living or type of living has some traces or deposits of our culture. So, it is only the percentage varies between urban and suburban/ village/town.
Our culture is ‘birth-go to school to score good marks to get into good course / college to get good job, earn lots of wealth (house, gold and all comforts like A/C, car, costly dresses, outing which make others say ‘they are rich’)-attain age-get married-produce children-live together or nearby-again ‘attain age’, marriage of children and grand children-die’.
So, ‘birth-attain age-marriage-produce children-death’ is the basic structure of life.
The everyday thinking and worry of the parents here is about ‘oh, I have got a girl. She should be safe (i.e sexual harassments), should attain age, should get married, should produce children. From birth to 12 years their thinking is always focused on her genitals being safe, then keep thinking about attaining age which is again on genitals and then their friendships (whether she has sexual relationship or not!), which again makes them to be centered on genitals (as they think ‘all relationships end in sex’), then they think about marriage which again is for reproduction (‘shanthi muhurtham’, ‘first night’ etc), they keep observing if the couple are happy in their ‘genital’ life, and if she does not give birth in a year or two, they keep thinking about the issues related to genitals, and after that keep thinking about ‘extra marital affairs’ which again is related to genitals and this thinking ends only when they die.
This makes them constantly worry about the dressing behaviours, relationships, entertainment, work and rest of their children, spouse and siblings with respect of safety of genitals…a feeling of ‘safety’ or a feeling of ‘losing’ something or someone.
We can pardon them as in an agrarian society (which is based on ‘eat-work-entertain-rest’) all pleasures and happiness inside the home and with relatives revolved around ‘sex’.
They invited all friends and relatives and announced in a big way that their daughter attained age and is ready for a ‘reproductive living’, they displayed their daughter like a commodity with all their wealth showing off on her body and all lined up to see if she has a healthy body and will fit in their family as a good member to work at home and produce children, develop their ‘progeny’ etc. What a bloody shameful act!...degradation of a gender!...did they ever do to a boy when he attained age? Our culture adored woman’s body and genitals!...what a bloody shame!…does it not make us feel uncomfortable to hear or read these?
They also made a big hype about first night with all the rituals (actually they screwed it up and screwed the happiness of both!). They did not see it as normal. What a bloody ‘shame shame puppy shame’ guys, their rotten beliefs and attitudes to feminine gender!!
They branded a girl as ‘lost virginity or purity or sanctity’ or ‘spoiled’ if she had sex before marriage and considered unfit for marriage with another man or for family life.
But they accepted ‘losing virginity’ at mind level…they did not consider that as ‘spoiled’ and said ‘nothing wrong in it’. They accepted that “everyone gets attracted to someone before marriage. But ‘living together’ after marriage with one man is what matters and she will forget the old affair’. So, they did not mind a girl living and sleeping with another person in mind level while physically being with someone else. For them physical living mattered more. As they were more worried about ‘what others will think’ rather than ‘what that girl is thinking’. They were worried about only wealth not going to someone else and so got their daughters married to close relatives even if it is not scientifically acceptable for the betterment of the offsprings. She was expected to show a ‘smiling face’ in front of others.
This culture also had contradicting beliefs and resultant behaviours. Therefore, it never led to what they actually wanted to happen. For e.g they married a boy to a girl for reproduction, sexual gratification and to feel happiness in child production, rearing etc. But they also introduced rituals and beliefs which isolated the girl from the boy saying ‘today is Monday and no sex’…like this every day had something or the other violating them to get sexual gratification in a combined family. They followed many beliefs and rituals which hindered many of their wants and needs or health and happiness.
So, marriages did not result in sexual gratification of both and they indirectly forced them for extramarital affairs for emotional and sexual gratification or produced ‘stressed bodies and minds’ leading to frustration, anger, fights etc.
So, it is a culture based on:-
1.          Genitals as the back bone of life. Reproductive ability is the basic symbol of manliness and woman hood. Those without this ability were out casted. Genitals are the fulcrum of Entertainment. Marriage involved matching of bodies and not personality traits. In fact ‘personality’ meant only physical appearance. Love is for sex.  Relationships are for sex. Opposite gender attraction or talking is for sex. Everything is for sex. Life is for sex. A girl or woman spoke to another man for only sex.
2.          Wealth is the basis for living. So, entire life was focused about making wealth, by hard work, by taking it from others as dowry, rituals etc. So, all relationships were strong only if the transactions involved gain of wealth. Otherwise even the mother hated the children and children hated their parents. Marriages involved wealth matching. Those with wealth were respected. So, the focus of life was to earn wealth to earn respect, authority and power. They perceived that with wealth one can get anything under the sky including love, relationships, power, authority etc. So, no wonder every one ran from morning to evening chasing the wealth. Politicians and administrators ran behind amassing wealth of hundreds, thousands and lakhs of crores without knowing why they are running mad behind such a huge wealth, what they will do with that, can they enjoy all that wealth, will they get peace and happiness, good health etc with that. For them success also meant amassing wealth. Means was not important. This is our vulturous culture. Forget about what is in the books about our culture and value systems. What matters in our culture is what we follow every day.
3.          They were more worried about ‘what others will think’ rather than ‘what they think’. Before doing anything…or to say…all their behaviours were dependent upon their cognition in mind as to ‘what others will think if I do this or wear this or be like this. Will I get social acceptance, respect, authority, power, be considered a good human being’. So, they landed up doing things for others’ sake (note…not for the sake of ‘happiness’ of others but for ‘jealousy’ of others). They did not do what they liked. They derived happiness when others felt jealousy about them and not by doing what they liked. So, their true wishes never got fulfilled. The purpose for which nature has produced them with innate drives were not achieved.
How can a culture or way of living that is based on SEX and WEALTH can lead to a happy, healthy and successful individuals, homes or a society?...because SEX AND WEALTH CAN NEVER GIVE SATISFACTION AND THEY ARE NEVER ENDING NEEDS AND WANTS. THEY CAN NEVER BRING CONTENTMENT. THE NEED NEVER ENDS. THEY ARE NEEDED FOR LIVING BUT  ARE NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE. Also when people lived disrespecting or disregarding what their mind said about what they should do, wear etc and did the opposite thing not bringing the real satisfaction, how can they experience the real happiness and peace.
So, no wonder they are not peaceful and become parasites of god, temples, god men, mutt etc for peace and happiness. They felt they are not gifted with that knowledge of peace and happiness and only few were gifted with that by god. Is god partial? Never!! They believed that ‘meaning of family life, happiness and peace’ is known to such people (a man who does not live a ‘family life’!) and went to him for counseling on how to live a family life, resolve disputes between people at home etc. Temples became richest with thousands of acres of land, and other wealth, gods had thousands of tones of gold and other wealth, god men have thousands and lakhs of crores, so it is a culture here of being wiser to be an exploiter of beliefs on god, superstitions, fear of unknown (it is our culture here to nurture fear in the minds from childhood…fear and suspicion of all…parents, neighbours, teachers, gods, friends)
They went to temples with a big wish list seeking wealth, marriages, children etc. and not a one liner wish of ‘good health and real happiness and true success’. They believed in god but did not believe that ‘god knows what we want and deserve for our happiness and good health’. As they conceived god to be ‘one with magical powers but with human traits’, they thought ‘god will give only if we ask otherwise not!’ (‘crying baby gets milk’).
No wonder they created god of wealth (laxmi), god of wisdom (saraswathi) (they created god of wisdom to get wealth as that was the product of wisdom in their perception, and not satisfaction, fulfillment of mind, a source of happiness and peace) etc but never created ‘god of happiness’, ‘god of good health’ and ‘god of peace’ as they felt they will get happiness, good health and peace through sex, wealth and family life based on these.
Can anyone feel happiness, peace and good physical, mental and social health if they don’t do what their mind says or needs after a rational, logical and reasonable thinking?...will they be happy physically and mentally if they do something which they feel as ‘this is what others are feeling so as the right behaviour!’.
No wonder our middle aged woman are like ‘psychos’!...as they always land up doing things which their body and mind oppose!
So, an individual or society or a culture which is based on sex, wealth and ‘what others think’ can never be happy, physically, mentally and socially healthy and successful. They can never feel self actualized in true sense. They can only reach the third or fourth level of Maslow’s need hierarchies. But even here there will be some blanks, ifs and buts. The happiness and success can never be complete. They cannot fully and properly attain even second and third levels.
In an industrial society the focus is not on ‘genitals’ but on ‘knowledge’.
In an agrarian society ‘I love you!’ means
-I want to live with you
-I want to make a family with you
In an industrial society it means
-I like you, you give happiness to me, you are a fun…it does not mean ‘I want to live with you, I want to make a family with you’ etc.
An industrial society culture is not about ‘following abroad culture’, not about ‘sleeping with anyone and everyone’ or wearing all revealing dresses…here ‘sex’, ‘wealth’, ‘what others will think’ etc are not the issues at all…it is about…
-acquiring knowledge about life, love, sex, living, science, arts, commerce, law or anything that falls under the ambit of ‘knowledge’ in a structural manner with formal education. Acquiring value systems of ‘adaptive living’, empathy, resilience,  with all types of castes, religions and cultures…and not growing as a ‘good boy’ with rigid, inadaptable personality traits.
-here education is a life long journey unlike in an agrarian society where education is just to get a job…so, they limit with just one qualification and remain with the same job. For them being at one place of posting is more important than going up in career ladder. They go for job just to earn their living and not for happiness and satisfaction. Their happiness is centered in family life. If a husband or wife is away from family they criticized as ‘what sort of family life they are living!’
-in agrarian culture the matching between the boy and girl for marriage is only matching of the bodies than matching of minds…it was more about matching of families and exchange of wealth. In industrial culture it is more about ‘intellectual and emotional companionship’ rather than matching of age, wealth, bodies, languages, cultures, families, ability to reproduce, sexual gratification etc.
 
-industrial culture is centered around ‘deriving happiness and satisfaction at work-being involved with brain in work-being creative-professional achievements-being a part of people and organization as a team’…this is the one which actually follows ‘work is worship’ and not the agrarian society as it is thought!
- here exercise and yoga asanas are a routine of life like brushing, bathing etc. because they believe that ‘sound mind rests in a sound body’ and their work demands a sound mind. Whereas in an agrarian society only those who did farming did manual work. Those who worked in offices had less physical work and landed up with ‘life style’ diseases. They exercised only to reduce their obesity or when doctors warned them of death otherwise.
- in an industrial society meditation is a must, as their job demands a sound mind, high Emotional and Spiritual quotients. In an agrarian society ‘meditation is believed to be performed only by rishis and sanyasis who lived in jungles and mountains and not by those who lived family life’
- it follows ‘there are many things in life to know, to learn, to experience, to pursue, to think about….than SEX’. Here sex does not matter. It has no priority or significance or relevance. It has the least priority. It is about long standing relationship based on other resources of an individual.
- here it is all about ‘friendship’ where ‘love based on personality traits’ dominates unlike in an agrarian society where ‘friendship’ is not defined between a couple, but societal roles with responsibilities like ‘wife’ and ‘husband’ dominates, making them to be more responsible to their duties as husband and wife, to be committed to the relationship at social level, with possessiveness and expectations limited to only social and personal security needs (here mind level commitment is not thought about as they are more worried about ‘what others will think’ than ‘what they think’)…so, friendship rarely exists where the love has matured from body level to personality traits level…
-it is about accepting the girls also like boys, giving them the freedom, sharing all the house chores, without thinking that ‘I am head of family and you are no one!’, giving them the decision making powers, accepting people as they are, with empathy, with least expectations, without any possessiveness, without limiting the aspirations of the girls, helping them to grow in their career, pursue their passion and self actualize, without demanding anything from them, without controlling them etc.
-  here acquiring skills is a life long journey…here ‘eye is meant to read, learn, enjoy nature, see all those which give happiness and good health. Ears is to hear those which the above mentioned. Similarly other sense organs are also for happiness and good health’
-here it is about perceiving only positives of people and not their negatives. So, there is no room for jealousy, revenge and other negative behaviours. So, it has more potential for helping others, for forming stronger, better and happy long standing friendships.
-here it is about ‘winning as a team’ and so there is compassion and concern for others and their wellbeing, no selfishness…unlike in an agrarian society where success is by individuals…so, selfishness is prevalent.
-as their philosophy is ‘acquiring skills and knowledge is a life long journey’ they land up in making more wealth than people of agrarian society who ran behind wealth with anxiety, jealousy, revenge etc landing up with making only less wealth.
-they do what their mind says out of their value systems, logical, reasonable, sensible and social thinking. They did what their consciousness said. So, they are happy and healthy. Whereas agrarian society is not based on happiness, peace and good health ‘in real sense’.
-they follow a policy of ‘being in the moment’. So, they are able to perform better without anxiety and self pity. But in an agrarian society people were all the time thinking about failures of the past and fears of unknown future making them to feel scared, anxiety struck, could not focus on the job they were doing at that moment and so landed up with stress of body and mind, could not do well, faced failures etc.
- here ‘child rearing’ is all about ‘teaching them all house chores, making them meet all their needs by their own selves, keeping things neat and tidy at home, teaching not ‘what is good and bad’ but teaching what is good for ‘good health, peace and happiness’, teaching them how to take decisions in day to life events and situations, teaching various life skills, arts (singing, dancing, playing instruments, painting, etc) teaching them what is love and infatuation, teaching them about sex, body changes and related risks and problems, teaching them about relationships and meaning of friendship so that they are groomed to be ‘adaptable’ and knowing how to be happy, peaceful, healthy and successful. They are exposed to problems of poverty, social service, teaching the poor, helping patients in hospitals etc so that they become real human beings with high IQ, EQ and SQ.
-they are more sociable, flexible in social situations and life in general and whereas people of agrarian society were rigid, more rules and regulations bound, more ritual, always ‘responsibility’ struck with anxiety and fear,  belief and superstition based which actually stressed them and made their life miserable, not sociable and not adaptable / sociable.  In industrial culture, ‘being responsible’ is all about ‘just doing the things required’ in an envelope covered by happiness surrounded by music etc, rather than being anxiety struck.
So, agrarian society is all about rigidity, sex discrimination, disrespecting feminity in true sense, rules and regulations, not health, happiness and peace based, ‘sex and wealth’ focused, not career bothered, child rearing is based on scaring, controlling, beating, ‘spoon feeding’ making the children totally dependent on parents including decision making, ‘what others will think’ bothered, ‘all house chores by girls’ philosophy, man is the head of the family and takes all decisions, etc
 
Industrial society living is all about no sex discrimination, equal status for women everywhere to choose their education, career, passion, profession, entertainment, rest, ‘sex and wealth’ are not the back bone of life, rearing the children to be more flexible, adaptable, enjoy happiness, peaceful and success, being in the moment, accepting people as they are, seeing only positives in people, living with more EQ and SQ, self actualization, ‘knowledge’ based, ‘learning and skill development’ are life long processes, to keep those things munched in mouth and mind to be healthy and peaceful, yoga asanas and meditation are part of life, cooking and eating healthy food in healthy way, being more attached to nature, enjoying what they do etc
At a personal level this new culture revolves around ‘acquiring knowledge, learning, good physical, mental and social health, being successful and self actualizing’. At social level it is about ‘accepting every one as they are, all genders equal, no demands, no controls, no expectations’
So, this culture is not centered on sex or wealth or ‘what others think’.
Nothing is permanent here, including the culture. It is a continuously changing one. Technological developments decide the dynamics of culture and not you and me…not inside the homes…e.g mobiles
Anyone who is not using the positives of these will get out casted. Let us not weld our skulls, let us open them and allow all the good things to go there.
 
Happy onam greetings to all of you!
 
bye*:-h wave
 
rams