importance of a FRIEND!!!

(those in the brackets are only for my classmates!)

hai thorns and roses! How are we? (dei, koba padaatheengadaa!...thorns are there to protect the roses!...so, you can raise your collars up! (pongadaa dubukkugalaa!...thorns are there to differentiate roses, so that roses are roses!...can you imagine a plant with only thorns!...horrible, is it not?...that is why roses are there to make it pleasant!...woff, enough, we will do this mokkai some time later as i am now deviating from the main topic!!)

thanks for all those who liked the 'addictive love' mail...i am happy to see that some got awakened and could save their lives...

there are many things related to the three mystery words which affect our lives throughout...'LOVE' 'SEX' 'RELATIONSHIPS'....these three words affect our lives every minute, but not taught to us by any one or any institution.

There are tons and tons about these three words in my blog (funnyrams.blogspot.com)...(when you type 'funnyrams' in google, my link is the top one there!)...you can read and get benefited...all of us, even the oldies in eighties, think that we know a lottt about all these three words, but the truth is we know nothing or very little about them. I am learning every day about these and other issues about 'human behaviours' ...it can never end!!!

below are some cribs of a girl who realized that her lover is actually an 'addictive lover' after few years of being in relationship and screwing up her life.


"Yet, as time passes, some “loving relationships” become anything but loving — indeed, some become downright abusive. How does something like that happen? How can “love” be experienced so differently by different people?

Listen to the complaints of one young woman:

“I was flattered when he wanted to be with me all the time. I felt so special when he told me he couldn’t live without me. Now, I see how possessive he is. He wants to be with me all the time, not because he loves me so much but because he wants to control me.”

“When he called me many times a day, I felt like he was the most loving person, caring not only about me but also about who I was with and what I was doing. Now, I see how jealous he is. He didn’t trust me unless he knew where I was every moment of every day. It feels so yucky to me now.”

”He’d frequently give me advice about “life.” It could be politics, business, finances, how to talk with others, who to hang out with. It felt good to listen to him. He seemed so knowledgeable, so worldly. I liked that he was teaching me so much. Now, I see that he needs to give me “advice” about everything because he wants me to do things his way.”

Excerpt from:

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/06/15/but-i-love-him-so-what-is-love/

in fact, the news papers every day contain too many cases of 'addictive love'...(rapes, acid attacks, murders, abuses)...most of the loves or love marriages fail later because they come to know that 'it is not love but love addiction...to possess...to demand....to control...to dictate!!!'...by this time the damages have occurred in life beyond saving!...

so, i am happy that i saved some students!

thank you for those who liked the 'what is romance?' mail also...

my day starts at 4 am by walking and waking up the birds from their nests with their chirping sounds...filling the lungs with the first fresh air of the trees...clean fresh air...and the entire day filled with lots of nature around and music in the heart. Of course, the day ends with the some good melodies. So, as long as natures is filled in us, nature is around us, we romance with the nature, we can never lose our happiness, good physical, mental and social health, and of course, the success.

Music is a good support to romance the nature effectively. we should 'see' the music with a good music system. 'See' means, not the video, not with eyes, but to see the music in the nature through our heart!

How to do that?...here we go!...tonight go to your terrace...throw all those worries and anxiety in the dust bin...free your mind...format it...arrange a good music system there...sit on a chair...play the  songs listed here...

 

 

http://youtu.be/3e8Q4Ql6E5U

http://youtu.be/BMP5Qcqq-Wc

http://youtu.be/tV5wxfAKru4

 

 

 

...see the songs in the sky...through the moon...through the clouds...through the sounds of the breeze...through the smell of the nature...through the touches of the chillness...through your heart...not through your eyes or brain...you will understand what is romancing the nature means! (sariyaana loosu daa nee!)

regarding spirituality...nature (which includes living and non living), common people on roads and the  works of scientists have given me more clarity on spirituality...(read Einstein's books (bibliographies, videos, films), theories and his quotations on Universe, Creation, Humankind, Nature)...not any holy book or spiritual leader etc.

ok, now coming to the topic...

just quietly observe our ladies at home for a day...the grandmas...our mothers...sisters...aunts...mom's sisters...neighbours etc....

if you closely observe, most of the times they are anxiety struck...disturbed minds...not knowing what to speak, what to do...they are always preoccupied...their mind is constantly thinking about something or some people...all the time...full of emotions...varied emotions...mostly negative...anger...frustration...'aathangam'...self pity...low self esteem...mostly they think something, speak something different and do something else...their body and mind are always stressed!!!...they are unable to do anything properly and in time...they do many things just to please others and not what their mind says...they don't think...finally they cry...why all these???

there are many reasons for this. One of them being they don't have a good FRIEND to share their feelings, to discuss their problems, to take support from a reliable and trust worthy friend for taking decisions in life...to share their opinions...to share their happiness...to share their sorrows...to share the ramblings of their mind...to share certain personal issues...

you might say 'why not their mother or sibling or father or husband?'...if you carefully observe our ladies have only role related relationships with all these people and therefore there is always a wall or gap between them and others in some way or the other...that they can't share certain things with any of them!...or they are not available or not in a right mood to listen...

Introverts face the maximum brunt, as they don't mix with people, don't talk freely with others, don't socialise much...leading to facing all their mind problems with their own selves.

when we are children, parents are our gods, so we turn to them for all queries, there too we are secretive as our parents don't create a conducive social envelope to discuss all issues...specially 'love' and 'sex'...

adolescence is a stage where we try to make a big network of social contacts in hundreds and during our early adult hood (twenties) come down to few handful of trusted friends...even there we don't have one person with whom we can share anything and everything of our mind and body...life mates are not soul mates most of the time...

One reason why our ladies don't have good friends may be that they have not studied in colleges or hostels (old ones in their thirties or forties or those who have not gone to colleges) . Those who have gone to this level generally has some one or the other. But having some one with whom 'you can talk anything and share anything and do anything' is something wonderful and rare to get such a FRIEND.

some define such a friend as a soul mate.

so, the crux is...

1. one trusted friend with whom 'we can talk anything, share anything and do anything' is important for our lives.

2. the biggest problem with our ladies at home is that 'they don't have one'...this is because our culture or social systems do not provide an oppurtunity or environment or encourage this, even a friend of same sex for life long...

3. introverts can not be happy, healthy and successful unless they create their own fantasy world of people, places and organisms in which they find their socialization, communication, answers, joys and sorrows.

so............do you have a FRIEND????????????????

see you guys and girls

keep rocking!

rams