Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...
All living organisms on earth belong to 'animal' group. We have named ourselves as human beings. What are distinguishing characteristics of human beings from animals and do we have them or not?...Anyway, it is out of syllabus and scope for now!..Let us focus on the topic!
So, all human beings have basic instincts, thoughts, emotions and behaviours required for eating, sleeping, protect from threats, reproduction, rearing, recreation, love and affection, acceptance and self actualisation. It is common for all ages from birth to death. All the thoughts, emotions and behaviours required for the above are produced by the hormones (which make various systems required to function) and neurotransmitters (mood and interest creators). Due to aging these secretions vary, so, our thought processes, emotions, interests, moods, mood levels, behaviours all vary. But they remain for ever!!
Eating - Think, show emotions and do the things required to get the food.
Sleeping - A natural process that occurs when body or mind or both are tired.
Protect from threats - Continuous subconscious evaluation of anything, everything, anyone, every one around us!!
Reproduction - Think, show emotions and do the needful to attract, get attracted, by the opposite sex, word hard, show caring behaviours for closer proximity for reproduction.
Rearing - Thoughts, love and affectionate feelings, caring behaviours, emotions and actions that reinforce stronger bonding between people concerned, working against all the odds to ensure that the offsprings are safe, secured, grow, prosper etc.
Recreation - It rejuvenates the person to live for the next hour, next day! Human beings are the only living organisms on this earth which use reproductive thoughts, emotions and behaviours for recreation too!!...So, no wonder they leave the relationship with out the feeling for rearing the offsprings!!...Women subconsciously get attracted to young, strong, safe, secured men whom they believe subconsciously to be 'reproductive and rearing' to produce healthy offsprings, but realise in their conscious later that they were only interested in reproduction, recreation and not rearing, because it is a long process of many years of life with high demands of money, wealth, energy, time and responsibilities!!
Acceptance - From family members, relatives, society around, peers, subordinates, bosses and organisation!!...So, they work hard to get this from these people. When you perceive 'feelings of rejection', the opposite of 'feelings of acceptance' then you get depressed!!
All the above are there throughout our life in varying levels.
But some of them remain prominently during some stages in life...
e.g From birth to 13 years - thoughts, feelings and behaviours towards Recreation.
From 13 to 30 (or 35) years - thoughts, feelings and behaviours to attract people of opposite sex and getting attracted, go closer in mind and body, reproduce.
From 35 to 50 years - thoughts, feelings and behaviours towards rearing the offsprings, seek love and affection, look for feeling of acceptance from all and self actualize.
From 50 and above - Make others self actualize...i.e self transcending!!
Why i am telling all these?...What is the take-away from the above?...What is to be learnt from the above?
1. Marry people of the same age or age group! If a 22 year old girl, who is in Reproductive stage marries a 30+ man who in body condition, thoughts, emotions and actions in Rearing (i.e matured adult) age group, she will obviously be not satisfied, frustrated, angry, sad and will be forced to enter into thoughts, feelings and behaviours relevant to Rearing group to match with him. Of course, due to lessons of learning in life, life events, if a boy or girl has become an early maturer at teen or early adult itself, entered into an matured adult phase, then they can marry aged people!!
2. Don't expect the 13 to 30 thinking, feelings and behaviours when a person is above 30 (or 35). Then your expectations are irrelevant, too much and therefore you will become sad, get frustrated, angry and land up in all legal and medical issues.
Aging, maturing, evolving, growing and changing into different person is a continuous process. We will be different at 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 and 80. We will not be the same person at all the ages!!
Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!
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