Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...ESPECIALLY PARENTS AND CHILDREN...
The best model to follow...or our role models to follow in life...for peace and happiness are....CHILDREN...They always do things that give them happiness...they do things that they are interested in...they don't do things which they don't like. Even if you force them, they will do for some time or pretend to be doing and run away to do things they like or they want to do, after finishing the assigned job or when you sleep off or go away.
Because they don't have responsibility!!...But as we grow we have been entrusted with responsibilities in the default social system called 'family' where we are born with default roles and duties or responsibilities. When we are child, we are not tasked as we don't know and still growing! (But this is wrong...teaching to be self responsible or to do their own chores, prepare their own food, clothes, keeping the living spaces hygienic, healthy, neat and tidy or teaching to be a healthy, happy, peaceful human being while handling the responsibilities in a funny way or play methods or art form (dancing and singing) or by following 'non-stressful' methods is the right way of grooming!!)
ok...let us come to the point...
so, parents do not allow the children to do what they want to do...or what they are interested in doing...So, the end result is the children are not happy, peaceful and healthy in their moments, days and entire life. Even if they join a course or college or join a job (as per parents' choice) make money or wealth or marry the person the parents pointed at....as per the parents choice or wish is fulfilled.
Because parents feel 'what the children are interested in is not going to fetch social status, big money and wealth (compared to what neighbours, relatives, friends or others whom they are competing with in comparison!!), comfortable family life to meet all the financial liabilities that keep mounting as we grow or children grow!!
So, the parents do not allow the children to do what they like to do or what they wish to do or want to do!!
Now the other issue is....
The children have some knowledge or skills...may be inborn or developed consciously or without their knowledge...They may be interested in taking up some course to increase the competency levels in those skills...or might want to go to such places in the state or country or world to develop or improve those skills to the national or world standards!!...Or they might want to expand and go to such places to gain or improve the knowledge related to those skills and learn. Finally they might be interested in taking up professions related to those knowledge or skills. This might warrant them to leave home, go to different places in the state or country or world. Parents may not allow that also for various selfish reasons or financial reasons.
Here again the children get affected as they are not allowed to pursue a profession or course or career or job which is related to their knowledge or skill or personality attributes or the kind of life or living they want to pursue. So, they are not happy, peaceful, healthy in their personal life, professional life, family life etc. They finally go out of the system one day and mess up everything!!
The reason is selfish reasons, fears and economical issues of the family!!
So, parents do not allow the children to do what they want to do, what they are interested in doing, what they like doing .....or what their knowledge, skill and personality components are!!
How can one be happy, peaceful and healthy if they don't do things they want to do (like children) or things that they are capable off??...
Parents expect the children to learn some knowledge or skill... change their personality attributes totally or here-and-there in some of the attributes/traits, pick up a job that will make them live a life related to that profession (every profession or job has its own way of living...e.g one who joins Merchant Navy has to sail a lot in high seas away from family!!...a dancer or artist or lawyer or doctor or civil engineer who is into construction...all have their special way of living related to their profession!!). So, the end result is even if the child is able to do all these successfully or unsuccessfully, the person is unhappy or not peaceful or without contentment and fulfillment in life or has some vaccuum inside or feels something is missing in my life...i am not true to my self...i am not the way i want to be...i am not realistic...i am fake...i am not me...i am something else....i am some body else...i belong to some other person....i belong to some other place...i am not living...i am just existing or surviving...my life is not complete...etc...
Men and women who are in this state one day leave family or fall in extramarital affairs or go back to the kind of life they wanted to live or do the jobs or things which they wanted to do!!
some accept their fate-accomplice or 'learned helplessness' situation and live their life off in that state by doing a self-talk of 'i am fine...so what, i am not on the roads...i am happy only...i am living a better life compared to others...who knows, had i gone by my choice i would not be living comfortably and wealthy like this...my parents are right only...it is better to go by parents' choice.... Some of these people force their children also to live the same kind of life which is funny!!
so..the crux is...
1. Do things which you want to do..or would like to do..or interested in doing.
2. Do things matching with your skills, knowledge, personality attributes and the kind of life and living that will give you peace, happiness, good physical-mental and social well-being, contentment, fulfillment and self-actualsation.
3. Go to the places, organisations, people, country, state, society which you are interested in...would like to be there...want to be there...where you also can improve or grow or develop your knowledge, interests, hobbies or passions or goals, skills or personality attributes/traits and at the same time live a life or living style of your choice.
4. Talk to your parents, make them aware of all these, expose them to your world of thinking, skills, knowledge, passion and the kind of life you want to live. Make them confident that you will be able to earn the money, wealth and status that you want to have for a comfortable and safe living. If they say that is not sufficient then make them understand how it is sufficient or analyse the reasons why they say it is not sufficient and see how to make up for that if it is genuine and reasonable.
5. Parents should come out of their fear or anxiety or support or connect them to the right people who can mentor and guide them in their new journey.
6. Parents should move out of their place of living if they want to be a support for their children or set them free and live in their birth place/ native place or their place of choice and not bother about their children or support in the limited ways they can or bless them and then send them off!!...Believe me, if you have groomed them well with good value systems and belief, discipline and how-to-be, how-not-to-be, then they will not fail in their new mission and journey!!
7. Doing things or being in a place and life or with a person which/whom we don't like or not interested in doing and being, not matching with our knowledge, skills, personality attributes and type of life and living we want to live....will only make us not peaceful, unhealthy in mind and body and social life at home/organisations and live a wasted life...which is once in a life time opportunity on this beautiful earth and in this beautiful world!!
Peacefully yours..rams...Psychologist!!
No comments:
Post a Comment