THIS IS FOR ALL PARENTS...of course, for the youngsters too to learn about good parenting...

Dear all....THIS IS FOR ALL PARENTS...of course, for the youngsters too to learn about good parenting...

Some time back one father in his sixties came to me and said

'I have got a son and he looks after our hardware shop and business well. He is very disciplined and has good habits. He is married. But i feel that something is missing between us. He too feels the same. I can feel a big gap between us. He always talks to his mother nicely and shares everything of his life with her. But he does not talk freely like that to me. He only talks official things about business. I also talk like that only. I am unable to talk freely and behave freely with him. This has been a major sad issue in my life. Though he is with me in the shop all the time, i feel lonely and miss him too much!!...I don't know what to do!!...I am worried if i will die without meeting my son!!'

Almost all the fathers in our country are like this. Of course, there are some exceptions too!!

They are worried and scared that their children should become good, responsible children who follow socially accepted good life style, habits, be with the family, relatives etc. So, they adopt a controlling parent life style and bring a wall between them and the children. There is no physical connectivity between the parents and children which is a must for a healthy relationship. They always find mistakes to correct and never find the good things and appreciate them. And finally land up in such a state where they think they have groomed the children nicely but 'something' is missing in the relationship, they lost their children and they feel lonely!!

I explained the above and told that poor father....'sir, now when you go back to home for lunch, tell your son to shut down the shop and come home for lunch. Sit next to him. Tell him that you have become old and want to take rest. Tell him your are tired and just lie down on his lap. Or hug him from the side and tell him he is a good son and is ready to take over the reigns and it is time for you to retire and enjoy. This will break the ice or wall or cold war between both of you and slowly increase spending non professional, fun, homely time with him. Buy things which he likes and gift him (which you never did and bought only things which you wanted him to wear or use!). Give him freedom to take decisions. Crack some jokes. Hug him as many times as possible. Make him feel you are a good friend. Break your tough looks, ease down, relax, be cool and be a fun loving person. Spend time together with him watching movies, having dinner etc. Nurse him when he is not well"

The father went back and after few days came home and was in tears to thank me saying 'He got back his missing son!!'

So, fathersssssssssssss...wake up!!

Peacefully yours...rams....Health Psychologist!!