How our body dictates everything in our life!!

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...

We have a body and a mind. The mind is created when various parts of the brain work in a coordinated manner. So, it is a virtual thing created out of the body!!

Both have their needs and wants.

Body wants air, water, food, protection from environment (heat, cold, moisture (humidity)) and reproductive needs.

This creates expectations from ourselves, others and outside environment.

The Needs, Wants and Expectations (NWE) of body and mind always remain from birth to death. Only what is required, how much is required, how much urgently required, the urges and cravings keep changing. These NWE decide our moods and interests, our life style, our relationship needs at that point of time.

If we are able to get these by ourselves then we are happy with us. Otherwise we are not happy with ourselves and feel depressed.

If we are able to get it from the people around us, then we are happy with them. If others also remain in the same moods and interests then we are happy in that social environment.

We also look for people with matching moods and interests. If others are not in the same moods and interests then their NWE is different from ours, their expectations from us are conflicting. So, we are not happy with people around us. Then we land up in a situation that we are not able to meet the NWE by our own selves and unable to get from others. So, we get more depressed.

This also results in spoiled social relationships, break-ups etc.

Body cannot get its needs, wants and expectations on its own. So, it drives the mind to get them. It makes the mind to create (thinking) thought processes, feelings, emotions to drive the body to go and get its needs. It creates anger to make us shout and drive other people to work for our needs. It creates a feeling of caring for others, to make them oblige for meeting our needs so that it gets its needs met.

First level is, body requires air to breathe, water to drink and food to eat. If we get them at that moment, then the mind gets free and looks for methods to get these permanently for life. So, education, looking for job, to get money, to get food continues. Then we look for permanent job, permanent salary to get the food all throughout life.

So, whenever the instant needs of the body are met, the body goes quiet, and mind is free to indulge in thought processes and activities to get these always throughout life. These are called security level of needs.

Once these vitals are available then it looks for reproduction needs. For reproduction it needs a mate. So, it drives the mind to find a mate, to attract that mate, to indulge in all the thought processes, feelings, emotions and activities to go near or bring the mate nearby to indulge in reproductive behaviours. It includes a set of multitude and varied activities from attracting the person to satisfying the need. It is ready to put in any kinds of efforts, spend any amount of time and to attract the mate and meet its needs fulfilled. All animals indulge in this. Once this is met, then the mind gets free to think about how to get this mate for life time. So, the security level of need emerges.

So, the body drives the mind to create the thinking, emotions, behaviours, moods and interests to meet its immediate needs and future needs of the same.

If the body urges are moderate, then it is easy for the mind to subside it or divert it. The mind can take-charge on the body. It can tell the body ‘Keep quiet!!’. The body can easily regulate the needs without controlling. Because controlling a heavy urge or craving is stressful and damaging to body and mind.

When needs are less, not urging and craving, then It can also change its needs to the needs of the others around it. It can match its needs to the needs of others around. So, we have to achieve this level of the body.

If the body urges and cravings are heavy, dire and fire like, then it engulfs the mind and drives it mad to achieve its needs by any means. This is the time when the mind does not look at legal and social issues and lands up in committing crimes. It damages the other person. The relationship gets affected badly.

Now let us look at the mind. As we saw above, the mind is driven by ‘Nature’ with the programme embedded by nature, and controlled by the body.

When the body is driving the mind, mind runs to meet the body needs, it remains fully occupied, when body is satisfied, then it runs to get the money, wealth etc to get these needs satisfied for whole life.

When the mind is faced with big challenges in life, meets with grave life situations, challenges that appear beyond its resources to meet the challenges, when it is stressed with these, when it is anxiety struck, then the body is switched off, it forgets the need for water or food or reproduction needs, and the mind finds out the methods to either fight the challenge, or fly away from the challenge. It works towards solving these problems. In this process it matures and goes to another level of maturity to adult.

When the mind is relieved from body, it thinks about the social needs and spiritual needs. i.e It wants social acceptance...it wants people around to accept it in the social system...i.e family, organisation, society, community etc. So, it first decides how they assess, make an image and accept in the social system...for e.g if i have more money, wealth, power, fear factor, education, wisdom, knowledge, authority then people will accept me, respect me etc. This need of ‘feeling of acceptance’ is important for the mind to be confident, have high self-esteem, high self-concept etc. If this is not there, then it lands up in ‘feeling of rejection’ and gets depressed. This also affects the body and its need levels.

The feeling of acceptance is also perceived as ‘love and affection’ by the mind. It also perceives this feeling of acceptance or love and affection through hugs, kisses and words of comfort from the person it accepts as good, safe and nice. It also develops a relationship with that person or organisation or community which gives the feeling of acceptance. It can also get obsessed with the person or place or organisation or community. These are social needs.
Therefore all kinds of relationships, all kinds of people, all kinds of places, organisations, and communities are required for a healthy mind. It also wants to perceive all kinds of relationships with even one person on whom it is obsessed. It wants hugs and kisses from the person from whom it perceives feeling of acceptance in all domains and dimensions.

Once the mind is stable and gets all these needs met, and the body relieves the mind, then it looks for spiritual needs. I.e philosophical needs about life, living, the world, earth, universe, relationships, people etc etc. It also searches for a person matching these needs, wants, interests and moods.

A self regulating body and mind can dwell in any type of interests and moods depending upon the needs, moods and interests of the other person. It can turn on and turn off any domain of the body and mind, any kind of relationship needs at any time.

In general the reproductive needs create dire needs, urges and cravings and makes the mind an animal. It makes the body to live an animal life, family life, like any other living organism. A person whose gynaec system is defunct, cannot show reproductive-romance, physical intimacies, creativity, fantasies, thought processes, emotions, feelings and other behaviours that lead to reproductive behaviours.

So, the crux is...

1. The state and condition of our body decides our moods, interests, the kind of relationship we want at that time, our needs, wants and expectations that time, and it drives the mind accordingly to find the mate, relationship, person and ways and means of achieving its needs, wants and expectations. And mind drives the body to achieve them.

2. Body needs air, water, food and reproductive behaviours.

3. Mind runs to get these for body, for entire life (security needs). It also runs for social needs (‘feeling of acceptance’ ...feeling of love and affection...to get self confidence) and spiritual needs.

4. All these needs of body and mind remain from birth to death. Only their levels keep changing from time to time, moment to moment, in various stages and phases of our life.

5. When the gynaec system is not matured, i.e before attaining age, reproductive needs do not exist. And therefore, the mind does not have thought processes, emotions, feelings and behaviours related to this need.

6. Later after attaining age, this rules the body and mind predominantly. This need dictates all needs, wants, expectations. It defines the relationships with others. It also changes the definition of life, living etc of the person. It dictates the life for a long time.

7. Once this need is gone at old age, predominantly the body is cooled, calm and stable. Only the mind needs remain of social acceptance and spiritual needs.

8. Even at young age if the gynaec system does not work, then also a person matures at early age and stage in life and migrates to spiritual needs. Such people are unfit for a normal reproductive family life. We like and love such people only when our gynaec system is not active (e.g periods). If we love them when the gynaec system is active then our needs, wants and expectations will not get fulfilled by them as their system is non functional. So, they are only fit for a spiritual life, spiritual relationship.

Peacefully yours....rams...Psychologist!!