Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...When students or people come to me for counselling i generally make one statement....
"Whenever you are in a dilemma as to what is right and what is wrong, which decision to make in life situations, just do the opposite of what your parents say or culture or society says without aggression or anger or any such negative thoughts, emotions, feelings and behaviours...without hating anyone, but with abundance of unconditional and devotional love for all and accepting people as they are!!"
When you read this, it might sound ridiculous, wrong counselling, wrong teaching, wrong grooming etc. I will explain with few examples here.
When your parents talk primitive which is redundant and not in consonance with present social living, living in peace, happiness, good health and success...don't fight with them. Don't succumb to their primitive living on the name of love and affection, sacrifices and compromises and spoil your precious one time life. Instead show them lots of unconditional and devotional love, meet their needs and wants in terms of comforts, securities etc. Be a role-model-good-human being for living in peace, happiness, good health and success. They will change!!...Several rounds of talks with patience, love will also help!!...I never listened to my parents and always have done the opposite!! (ha.ha.haaa)
Today i was riding my scooty. One guy in motorcycle came in front of me on the wrong side/wrong lane. He was shouting at me. In this situation what our culture or society says?...Show aggression and anger, shout at him back, or try to explain him that he is wrong and you are right etc. All these only probably help to get angry and take out the anger to cool our body and mind by way of showing negative emotions and negative behaviours. Instead, i stopped my vehicle, went near him, gave a pat at his back, (he was younger than me) and said with great smiles on my face 'Sir, you are great!! You are the best citizen of our country!!...Keep it up!!...Whichever way you go, is the right way for you and every one on the lane is wrong!!...superb!!'..after this also i was only laughing. No negative emotions and negative behaviours which our people, society and culture teach us!!...I am sure this guy will keep thinking about what i said, my emotions and behaviours on his way to home. May be next time when he goes on the wrong side, some thoughts will arise in his mind, this incident will come to his memory...he can't forget this incident ever!!
Another incident...always we fight with our neighbours who only can come for our help when we have sudden grave ill health e.g heart attack etc but we show love and affection to a person who lives several oceans away and can't save us in such grave life situations on the name of close relationship!!...Some time back i saw two families, who are brothers, and neighbours, fighting on the road. The issue was that one family is constructing a building which has some issue with the common wall between both the houses. One family was objecting. Another family said it has the right to build that. End result is hate, fight, loss of peace, relationships which not only affects them but also their future generations standing as children next to them during the fight!!...They were fighting because they were following the usual way of dealing with such issues, the way they have learnt from others and TV serials. I just went to the person who is the head of the family, hugged him by the side, and told him "You are a great human being. i always admired, adored your humanness and wanted to be like you. But i am not able to!!...All these years you have proved to be the best around and as the senior most in your family you have always taken the right decision which is good for all and harmony in the family. So, I am sure in this issue also you will take the right decision that will ensure peace and you will continue to prove that you are a role model in your family and for these future generation kids standing here. Don't lose your greatness in such a silly thing. Think about this. Take time. No hurry. I am sure you will come out with the decision that is right and acceptable for both of you!!' ...After that the fight stopped. He took a decision that was acceptable to both. Relationship still continues.
So, the crux is...
"Whenever you are in a dilemma as to what is right and what is wrong, which decision to make in life situations, just do the opposite of what your parents say or culture or society says without aggression or anger or any such negative thoughts, emotions, feelings and behaviours...without hating anyone, but with abundance of unconditional and devotional love for all and accepting people as they are!!"
Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!
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