Dear all…THIS IS FOR STUDENTS AND PARENTS...IF YOU FEEL IT IS LONG THEN READ THE BOTTOM CRUX ONLY...IF YOU ARE NOT CONVINCED AFTER READING THE CRUX THEN READ THE ENTIRE POST...BUT THE HAPPINESS IN EATING CAKE DOES NOT LIE ONLY IN EATING THE PLUM ON TOP BUT EATING THE ENTIRE CAKE!!
We have a BODY and a MIND. Mind is formed from the activity of brain. So, brain is the important organ which controls our mind and body. All emotions and behaviours (any movement of our body parts and in general like habits, hobbies, passions etc also) emanate from cognition. I.e Thinking.
So, thinking is an important element of our life, day-to-day living, what we will do all day from morning to evening, in the night in dreams and what we talk with people, how we define our life and living, to what we give importance to in our lives and relationships etc.
Our indian culture is BODY based culture. I.e getting born, eating, playing, growing, attaining age, getting married, producing children, feeding them, making them to grow and earn, waiting for them to attain age, getting them married, waiting for them to produce children, growing the grand children and die one day.
So, we give more importance to body. The needs of the body. Also we make every one to be dependent on others for satiation of the body needs. As body needs are never ending (food, water, clothing, shelter, all types of COMFORTS, sex, hugging, kissing and other love or emotions or feelings related body needs) we are never happy, healthy, contented, craving and our life is only filled with spills of short lived pleasures. We think that dependence on others will generate love, whereas it only generates parasitic attachment due to feeling of insecurity and not love beyond the needs and expectations, which is required for the love to lost entire life and coexisted living together both at body and mind level.
Another issue in our culture is ‘life is based on five senses, that is why they give importance to only these five senses and say ‘aimpulangalaiyum adakki aala vendum!’…i.e control all your five senses. When our life and living is not based on the sixth sense, only based on the five senses of the body, the property of animals and animal living, then we will only live an animal life and how can we live a human life?
Ok, now coming to the point of this post….thinking results in emotions and behaviours…so, what we think matters the most in life and living. If we keep thinking about our body needs we will, and our life and living will remain at the body level only. We can not achieve anything big in life. This is the life of animals which live with limited senses. What we think in our brain makes it to drive the hormone systems also to secrete accordingly so that the organs functions accordingly. The body systems are also driven to function accordingly.
For e.g if we keep thinking about body needs which I listed above then the endocrine system producing hormones is also activated accordingly making the related organs to function more and therefore, you will always feel hungry, give importance to food, keep thinking all the time about good dresses, ornaments, spacious living, and all sorts of materialistic comforts in life which actually spoils your physical health and eventually the mental and social health, and you die faster without any contentment of life.
You will all the time keep thinking about sex, physical intimacy, look at girls and women as only ‘instruments of pleasure’, your gynaec system will get activated, and you will always be worried about your children indulging in sex and get anxiety struck ‘is she talking to him with an intention of falling in love?’ ‘is he interested in sex with her’ ‘is he or she interested in sex with me?’ ‘is he or she making approaches?’ ‘what are his or her intentions in this relationship?’ 'my husband has not kissed or hugged or sexed with me, which means he has extramarital relationships' (because your body based thinking tells that every one is craving for body needs and without it one can not live) etc.
This body based thinking culture therefore keeps you at a very low level in life, never allows you to grow, keep suspecting every one and the relationships, keeps you always craving and the related emotions like frustration, shouting, blaming, demanding, controlling, expecting etc which will never get fullfilled always and to our satisfaction levels.
We need to remember that WHAT WE ARE ANXIETY STRUCK ABOUT, WILL CERTAINLY HAPPEN!!
i.e if you are anxiety struck about losing the job you will certainly lose your job!...if you are anxiety struck about losing your wife or husband you will certainly lose your spouse!!...if you are anxiety struck about losing any wealth or person or relationship or item or property you possess, then you are sure to lose that!!!....this is because what we think emerges out as our our emotions and behaviours. Anxiety is a negative thinking and therefore it only produces negative emotions and negative behaviours and all these negatives will only produce the negative thing related to our negative thinking!!!...
for e.g a husband who is highly possessive, insecure and obsessive about his wife will fear that she will run away with some one, and therefore he will be anxiety struck, he will suspect all her thinking, emotions and behaviours, he will control her, he will impose conditions, he will cage her, she will feel imprisoned, no liberty even for basic needs and living, she will hate him, the love will go off, the home will become a hell, the husband will become a devil, each and every second she will die, and of course the husband too, he will become a psycho, he will not be able to perform in his job and lose it, and the wife will think that the life and living has become a hell and one day she will leave him…may or may not go with some one, but certainly she will leave him…so, what he was anxiety struck about that the wife should not leave him, will happen!!!...THEREFORE, WHAT WE ARE ANXIETY STRUCK ABOUT IS SURE TO HAPPEN!!!!!
But if we keep our life beyond the body and anchor it on the mind…the sixth sense…then our brain will think about Nature, the variables in life-nature-family-society-organisations-in our body-in our mind-economy and the list is endless. It will always think about finding reasons and solutions for the problems. It will always think about achievements. It will think about adventures. It will look for challenges in life. It will look for doing something good for the entire society and humanity at large. The person will eat, but not crave and be addictive, and eat for living healthy and to achieve the dreams, passions, aims etc. So, they will eat to live and not live to eat!!...they will dress up, but dress up for protecting the body from the climate and environment and project a decent image in the minds of others about them and not keep running behind the clothes as the back bone of day to day living.
They will have comforts at home but all of them will be focussed towards achieving the needs of the mind and sixth sense. They will not crave for anything of the body. Their hormone system is balanced and activates only those organs and systems related to their thinking of achieving their goals, passions, etc. …I.e mind related and not body related….
so, they will enjoy sex but will not crave, obsessive and addictive about it. They will see the girls and women as ‘intellects’ and not ‘instruments of pleasure’. They will see their brains and not their breasts and butts. They will see their mind, their passions, their achievement motives, their hobbies, respect them and mix their life with these personality traits of the girls. They will also establish a relationship with the girls and women at the mind level only and not at the body level. The will marry the passions, interests, hobbies, aims/goals and thereby the love beyond the body needs and expectations will blossom which will remain forever even if the breasts sag, butts crush, stomach wrinkles, curves vanish…because these things do not matter to them, as what matters to them is the MIND and not the body.
So, our mothers, who are born in the old culture, all the time think about the body of their sons and daughters, they think that they will get cheated at the body level, they will run behind the opposite sex for sex etc. Whereas in the present industrial society the children are more anchored on sixth sense and not sexth sense!!...they are achievement and adventure oriented…so their brain all the time thinks about these…so, the hormone system also functions to drive more adrenaline and such other secretions…and not the gynaec system or related hormones…so, if parents marry them off to live our body based culture of first night, sex, producing children etc they are not comfortable with it and feel ‘why the hell I got married?...my freedom has gone!!...Is this what I am borne for?...i have got an animal in my life!!...if he wants sex can go to a call girl or brothel and satisfy his needs and why the hell he married me and why the hell my parents made me to live a brothel life for a guy??....of course, if the girl or boy also have based their life on body like their parents, then they will also live the animal life only and be happy with, craving, fighting, not satisfied etc.
So, the crux is….
1. Base the life and living on the mind and sixth sense. The body needs will automatically be taken care off as the needs are less and you will get everything to satisfy your body needs and will live a happy, healthy, peaceful, successful life with contentment.
2. What we think in our brain, makes the hormone system also to get activated and function accordingly, only related organs will be activated to function more, and all other organs will function stable and normal. If we keep all the time thinking about love, sex and such other body related needs, feelings and emotions, then only such hormones and systems like gynaec system will get activated and all our behaviours and thinking will also be related to sex, body needs etc only, making us to crave and be like hungry animals and get anxiety struck about the people in our lives based on the body needs like sex etc. If we think about mind needs of achieving goals, passions, adventure, hobbies etc then related hormones will be produced and related systems and organs will be activated and all other systems will be stable and normal, leading to no craving of body needs.
3. So, do not expect high levels of satiation of body needs and varieties from a person who is living at the mind level needs. If a person has anchored his or her life based on our traditional culture of body, then they should marry a person who has also anchored the life on body, so that there is some matching, both will crave, both will depend on other person for needs, fight, demand, control and live the usual peaceless, unhealthy, unhappy, pleasure-spilled life without contentment and show off as a nice compatible couple and live their life off. But if a person has anchored the life on sixth sense, mind needs then he or she should marry a person of the same kind so that they live a matching, satisfying, peaceful, happy, healthy and contented life. So, body should marry a body. Mind should marry a mind. If a body marries a mind, then there is no peace. If a mind marries a body then also no peace.
4. Do not suspect your children or anxiety struck that they will go haywire for sex and related stuff if the have anchored their life on mind needs. In fact most of the parents kill themselves and the peace and happiness of their children suspecting, being anxiety struck etc.
5. Any person or family or society or country which has based the culture, life and living on BODY, WEALTH AND MONEY can never prosper in life and have peace, happiness, good health, contentment and self actualization. If they have based it on MIND then that person or family or society or country will prosper and achieve all that i have listed above.
peacefully yours...rams...health psychologist....
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