dear all...MAINLY FOR PARENTS WHO ARE IN SEARCH OF MATCHES FOR THEIR CHILDREN AND OF COURSE, COLLEGE STUDENTS...in the past the children were just sent to the school by parents as a ritual...but today they start dreaming about their future with respect to accomplishments, big jobs, big salaries, lots of money and great wealth.
So, before the child is born parents dream, liaise with schools for payment seats and book.
After they are born they dump their 'anxiety' on children and make them highly stressed with big goals, targets of 100%, send them to lots of skill development programmes, tuitions and what not.
So, the students are goal centric, do not help anyone (because in the relative merit for professional course admissions after +2, they should not lose out on the three decimal point ranking) and are focused on 'achievement motive'...200 out of 200!...best college!!...best job!!!...excelling in job!!!!...faster promotions!!!!...deputations and opportunities abroad for work and learning.
All these are MIND related activities. So, the hormones and systems in side the body related to this remain activated from the beginning as a habit and all other supporting systems remain active.
In most of the cases the gynaec system, though grows during adolescence, remains dormant, and when it comes to priority between 'sex' (1) and 'professional goal, passion, hobby, achievement' (2) etc they generally select the second one!...so, sex takes second priority. This is because of their above said grooming. Even if they fall in love it is mostly related to their mind needs, supportive personality for their goals, passion, achievement motives etc. Interpersonal attraction mostly takes place due to matching of these. Even if they indulge in physical intimacies.
But children whose food habits, social habits, friend circles and family environment which promotes BODY based traditional culture of our living, then they are activated on physical intimacies and related body based needs and behaviours too.
So, depending on the dominant factor i.e 1 or 2...and depending on the dominating system functioning and motive...i.e physical proximities/intimacies/sex or achievement motives...they decide between 1 or 2.
If the goals, passion etc of both of them are same and if they can live together, then both 1 and 2 can be achieved to a satisfactory level. Else both might live at different places and only 2 can get met.
when there is a mismatch...ie one is behind goals and achievement (MIND needs) and other is bent more towards physical intimacy based family living, then needs do not get met and frustration starts. Then girls will only show disinterest or meet the needs of the spouse without any interest and fights, family fights, separation, divorce etc happens or 'living inside the same house but without any emotional connection' happens for the sake of peace of parents, children, society etc.
so, the crux is...
1. the MIND needs, goals, passion etc of both the boy and girl should match so that they will have healthy relationships which can lead to healthy family living resulting in mentally healthy off springs.
2. otherwise they will only live with their spouses for the sake of children, parents, society etc without any interest and involvement and later get attracted to people with matching interests and can fall in love with them for their MIND needs with or without the physical intimacies. In fact such achievement motive people would like to have their physical intimacies with people who match their interests, because, sex for pleasure of the body does not give mental satisfaction and happiness, whereas, sex starting or driven by mind need matching, love at mind level, results in spiritual union and they derive the ultimate happiness beyond the pleasure of the bodies mating. This leads to stronger relationships, happy home, love beyond the beauty and lust of the body. In some cases when their mind reverberates with accomplishment of goals or peak of performance in their passion they might unite without their consciousness which again brings in the next higher level of union called the tantric level. Unfortunately such things are not experienced by our people as their culture is BODY based and therefore it remains at body level only of animal needs and never goes to the MIND level, sixth sense etc and therefore does not result in stronger life long relationships and therefore what is called 'extramarital relationships' take place and the blame goes to the people concerned and not to their parents or culture.
3. In general, in the present society where the children are culturally groomed with achievement motive, the MIND needs are stronger than the body needs. So, traditional ways of match making and marriages will not be successful in real terms. So, no point in blaming the children for divorce, marital dishormony etc saying they are not adaptable. It is the mistake of the parents for not selecting the right match for their children.
rams
So, before the child is born parents dream, liaise with schools for payment seats and book.
After they are born they dump their 'anxiety' on children and make them highly stressed with big goals, targets of 100%, send them to lots of skill development programmes, tuitions and what not.
So, the students are goal centric, do not help anyone (because in the relative merit for professional course admissions after +2, they should not lose out on the three decimal point ranking) and are focused on 'achievement motive'...200 out of 200!...best college!!...best job!!!...excelling in job!!!!...faster promotions!!!!...deputations and opportunities abroad for work and learning.
All these are MIND related activities. So, the hormones and systems in side the body related to this remain activated from the beginning as a habit and all other supporting systems remain active.
In most of the cases the gynaec system, though grows during adolescence, remains dormant, and when it comes to priority between 'sex' (1) and 'professional goal, passion, hobby, achievement' (2) etc they generally select the second one!...so, sex takes second priority. This is because of their above said grooming. Even if they fall in love it is mostly related to their mind needs, supportive personality for their goals, passion, achievement motives etc. Interpersonal attraction mostly takes place due to matching of these. Even if they indulge in physical intimacies.
But children whose food habits, social habits, friend circles and family environment which promotes BODY based traditional culture of our living, then they are activated on physical intimacies and related body based needs and behaviours too.
So, depending on the dominant factor i.e 1 or 2...and depending on the dominating system functioning and motive...i.e physical proximities/intimacies/sex or achievement motives...they decide between 1 or 2.
If the goals, passion etc of both of them are same and if they can live together, then both 1 and 2 can be achieved to a satisfactory level. Else both might live at different places and only 2 can get met.
when there is a mismatch...ie one is behind goals and achievement (MIND needs) and other is bent more towards physical intimacy based family living, then needs do not get met and frustration starts. Then girls will only show disinterest or meet the needs of the spouse without any interest and fights, family fights, separation, divorce etc happens or 'living inside the same house but without any emotional connection' happens for the sake of peace of parents, children, society etc.
so, the crux is...
1. the MIND needs, goals, passion etc of both the boy and girl should match so that they will have healthy relationships which can lead to healthy family living resulting in mentally healthy off springs.
2. otherwise they will only live with their spouses for the sake of children, parents, society etc without any interest and involvement and later get attracted to people with matching interests and can fall in love with them for their MIND needs with or without the physical intimacies. In fact such achievement motive people would like to have their physical intimacies with people who match their interests, because, sex for pleasure of the body does not give mental satisfaction and happiness, whereas, sex starting or driven by mind need matching, love at mind level, results in spiritual union and they derive the ultimate happiness beyond the pleasure of the bodies mating. This leads to stronger relationships, happy home, love beyond the beauty and lust of the body. In some cases when their mind reverberates with accomplishment of goals or peak of performance in their passion they might unite without their consciousness which again brings in the next higher level of union called the tantric level. Unfortunately such things are not experienced by our people as their culture is BODY based and therefore it remains at body level only of animal needs and never goes to the MIND level, sixth sense etc and therefore does not result in stronger life long relationships and therefore what is called 'extramarital relationships' take place and the blame goes to the people concerned and not to their parents or culture.
3. In general, in the present society where the children are culturally groomed with achievement motive, the MIND needs are stronger than the body needs. So, traditional ways of match making and marriages will not be successful in real terms. So, no point in blaming the children for divorce, marital dishormony etc saying they are not adaptable. It is the mistake of the parents for not selecting the right match for their children.
rams
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