Dear all...the Juvenile accused in the Nirbhaya case is released...there are several views about it...some will say 'he needs to be hanged', 'life term', 'to be treated to live noble', etc etc. Another side will say 'he has not grown' bla bla...our culture, legal system are really fantastic!!...anyway...there are enough people to talk about all these...here is my bit...
The gynaec system of girls matures by 13 yrs, but not ready to bear and deliver a child. By the end of adolescent stage it matures and is ready. The body of boys is ready by 13 itself. But the marriage happens by about 23 to 30!!
Once the body system matures, hormones are secreted to activate the system and make it to function, like any other system in the body. Brain also cooperates by producing neurotransmitters to set the mood in consonance with the reproductive system. Brain does magic also through fantasies and dreams. So, the mind and body are consciously and sub consciously driven for reproductive needs. The brain creates a mind to get attracted to the opposite sex either looking at their body or mind (intellect, passion, talents, hobbies, skills (arts, sports, etc ), knowledge, wisdom, experience..list is big!!)
Even after the marriage the spouses are separated physically due to work, children, education etc. So, the body needs through the spouses can not be met.
1. does our culture or schools or colleges teach the coping skills?
2. what happens to a person who does not learn the coping skills naturally?
3. does our education system teach how to handle the body urges, attractions (of body and mind), relationships etc?
4. does our culture create a conducive environment at homes for the parents to teach all these?...(first of all do they know?)
5. does our culture teach boys to treat the girls equally?
6. does our culture or education system teach about the behaviours of girls to the boys and vice versa?
7. do our educational institutions teach about what is love and the relationships where body is involved?...how they form, various stages, the entire social dynamics, their end etc?
8. does our culture have food habits and other life styles that will reduce the urges...or hormones to secrete less?
9. Is our culture based on intellect, adventure, achievements and such other goals etc which can reduce or forget the body needs? (truly it is based on BODY-INTIMACY-SEX-CHILD BIRTH-GROWING THE CHILD TO EARN MONEY AND WEALTH-DIE)...truly our culture only promotes sex (animal) and not love (human)!!
10. do we do any damn exercise as part of our culture or grooming for the calmness or cool mind so that we are able to regulate (not control) the mind processes?
Sweet 'f' all we do, our forefathers did, and all these oldies have only left what we see...!! They did nothing other than reproduction!!!...procreation was their recreation, life and living!!
Body needs like food, water, air, sex etc are called 'id' drives and they do not see shame, social status, legal and social implications, money, wealth, the happiness and peace of others etc. 'Id' drives suppress and mask the 'ego' and 'super ego' needs which are the thinking, rational, logical, decision making elements of the mind. So, when the body has high urges, and it does not know coping skills and have conducive environment for cooling down then it is driven to do all these crimes like rape etc. If you notice, after the act they feel sorry, realise their mistake, feel what a blunder they have done etc, because the body need is met, id is dead, and the ego and super ego components of the mind starts functioning!!...but then it is too late...!!
so the crux is...
1. our culture and grooming should have the eating and other life styles which reduce urges so that id is small and ego and super ego are big and strong....exercises, yoga asanas, meditation supported by healthy life style, spiritual learning (not gods and temples!) etc should be part of life.
2. education system and parents should focus on the things i have listed above. Parents need to be taught first (they think they know every thing but 'f' all they know!!)
3. coping skills need to be taught and conducive atmosphere should exist at houses (throw the bloody religions to gutter in this aspect!!).
4. more mingling of girl and boy students at all ages to make them understand each others mind and body needs, the relationships between them, mutual respect for freedom in all dimensions etc.
till these things are done, rapes will continue to happen in this country, girls from 8 days old to 80 years old can not be saved by any one from sexual assaults!!
peacefully yours...rams...health psychologist
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