'you are sure to lose your lover or spouse if you don't do this!!'

Dear all...most of the couples find there is a gap, it is increasing and widening, between them and their spouse at later years of life after the children leave homes...when the house becomes 'empty nest'...there is something called 'empty nest syndrome' also...

one among the reasons why they find there is a divide or gap or increasing gap, between the two, one is losing the other, or one is leaving the other, or one is not liking the other, or there is some change in the relationship between the two, is, earlier when children were there at home there was a 'common interest' to groom and grow the children, be with them, enjoy love and affection, share the social dynamics with them etc...especially when they are before their adolescence when they feel that 'my parents are my world'...which reduces when during adolescence they explore friendships and relationships beyond their parents out side in the schools and colleges...and work places...so, this goes missing when the children leave homes...so the common act, emotions or behaviours which kept them physically and mentally nearby or together goes missing...

when the children leave home, the common interest of grooming and growing children goes off, the social dynamics associated with it goes off, the love and affection related to that goes off, so an important element of dynamics between the two goes off...so, they feel they are travelling in two different roads...some do not understand this and realize only after they travel long distances in two different roads and turn back and see where they are and where their spouse is... and some times they can't see their spouse and get the shock of missing (or pleasure!!) that is the time they realise that they missed their spouse some where in life...and mismatches now...there are no common interests...no commonality...no interest to share love and affection...as behaviours and thinking related to this perception is missing between the two...

so, the crux is...

1. ensure before marriage or after marriage that there is some common interest in passion, beliefs, sixth sense based living (research, work, learning, subjects, etc), arts, hobbies, sports, health enhancing behaviours, (e.g walks, exercises, yoga, asanas, meditation, social service etc)...there should be 'at least one' (more is merry) common activity where you are face to face, exchange your feelings and thoughts, in full attention and focus, emotions, and there is a common acceptance in this with out any differences in opinion, thinking, feelings, behaviours etc, something in which both can get lost together and lose the consciousness and reach the divine state and if it can bring in some physical intimacies and closeness in body and mind, nothing like it!!!

2. other wise you are certain to lose your spouse (to some one or some where in space!) at some level, some where, in some dimension(s) even if you love him or her the MOST at some stage in life!!!

rams